How AUTISM Helped Me DEFY the Odds! (PERSONAL)

๐Ÿ˜ฒย ๐ˆ ๐–๐€๐’ ๐ƒ๐ˆ๐€๐†๐๐Ž๐’๐„๐ƒ ๐–๐ˆ๐“๐‡ ๐€๐”๐“๐ˆ๐’๐Œ!!!ย ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

I use to consider myself a very introverted person, very shy, and very set in my own closed routines. I was more of a thinker than a doer and more of a dreamer than a leader.

๐˜Š๐˜ข๐˜ฏ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต? ๐˜–๐˜ณ ๐˜ค๐˜ข๐˜ฏ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฌ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ง๐˜ฆ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต?ย ๐Ÿค”

Being diagnosed with Autism was probably the starting point for me, the point where I confirmed to myself who I was: something is just ‘wrong’ with my brain.ย ๐Ÿง 

“๐™„ ๐™๐™–๐™ซ๐™š ๐˜ผ๐™ช๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™จ๐™ข. ๐™„๐™ฉ ๐™š๐™ญ๐™ฅ๐™ก๐™–๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™จ ๐™ฌ๐™๐™ฎ ๐™„ ๐™›๐™š๐™š๐™ก ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ฌ๐™–๐™ฎ ๐™„ ๐™›๐™š๐™š๐™ก. ๐™„๐™ฉ’๐™จ ๐™Ÿ๐™ช๐™จ๐™ฉ ๐™– ๐™ฅ๐™–๐™ง๐™ฉ ๐™ค๐™› ๐™ข๐™š; ๐™„ ๐™˜๐™–๐™ฃ’๐™ฉ ๐™˜๐™๐™–๐™ฃ๐™œ๐™š ๐™ž๐™ฉ.”ย ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ

But even way back in 7th grade I remember feeling like I didnโ€™t want to be labeled like this. I saw the label before me with all its negativity, a label I needed to object and rebel from.ย ๐Ÿ‘Š

๐ˆ ๐ฌ๐š๐ฐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐ ๐ฆ๐š๐ฌ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฅ๐š๐›๐ž๐ฅ ๐›๐ž๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ, ๐š๐ง๐ ๐จ๐ง๐œ๐ž ๐ˆ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐š๐ซ๐ญ๐ž๐ ๐ฌ๐ž๐ž๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ข๐ญ ๐ซ๐ž๐Ÿ๐ฅ๐ž๐œ๐ญ๐ž๐ ๐ข๐ง ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ ๐ฉ๐ž๐จ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ž’๐ฌ ๐›๐ž๐ก๐š๐ฏ๐ข๐จ๐ซ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ๐ฐ๐š๐ซ๐ ๐ฆ๐ž ๐ข๐ญ ๐Ÿ๐ซ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ๐ž๐ง๐ž๐ ๐ฆ๐ž ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐œ๐จ๐ซ๐ž!ย ๐Ÿ˜จ

I have vivid memories from school where I refused to accept special accommodations because of the new label. I was now being given opportunities to have additional time on tests, opportunities to leave the classroom to ‘cool down’, and every single time I refused. ๐Ÿ‘Ž

I know it was done with good intentions. But what bothered me the most was that I was being treated differently. I had enough self-consciousness trying to fit in with my peers; now I had to worry about what adults were thinking about me! ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

๐ˆ ๐ก๐š๐๐ง’๐ญ ๐œ๐ก๐š๐ง๐ ๐ž๐, ๐›๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐ง๐ž๐ฐ ๐ฅ๐š๐›๐ž๐ฅ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ž๐ž๐ฆ๐ž๐ ๐ˆ ๐ก๐š๐ ๐œ๐ก๐š๐ง๐ ๐ž๐ ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ž๐ฒ๐ž๐ฌ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฒ๐จ๐ง๐ž ๐ž๐ฅ๐ฌ๐ž!ย ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ

๐˜๐˜ข๐˜ด ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ด๐˜ข๐˜ช๐˜ฅ ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ข๐˜ฃ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ต ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ฌ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜ธ ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ด๐˜ฏ’๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ณ๐˜ถ๐˜ฆ? ๐˜‹๐˜ช๐˜ฅ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ง๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ซ๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ซ๐˜ถ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฑ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ง๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ด๐˜ข๐˜บ: “๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ข๐˜ฃ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜ถ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜บ ๐˜•๐˜–๐˜› ๐˜›๐˜™๐˜œ๐˜Œ!”ย ๐Ÿคฌ

Well, with my new label I was constantly reminded about my new-given identity: what I couldn’t do, what my limitations were, and what struggles I’d have the rest of my life. Essentially, who I was could now be entirely summarized upon a set of pathological descriptions out of a diagnostic book!ย ๐Ÿ“–

๐€๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐š ๐Œ๐€๐‰๐Ž๐‘ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐›๐ฅ๐ž๐ฆ! ๐Ÿšจ

In psychology, the term is referred to as a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy. In sociology, it’s referred to as the Labeling Theory. To put it simply: ๐˜๐˜ง ๐˜ข ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜ฅ๐˜ด ๐˜ข ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฆ๐˜ง ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ช๐˜ณ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ข๐˜ฃ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ต ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ’๐˜ด ๐˜ง๐˜ถ๐˜ต๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฆ๐˜น๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ค๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ด, ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ธ๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ถ๐˜ฏ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ด๐˜ค๐˜ช๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ญ๐˜บ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ฑ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ง๐˜ญ๐˜ถ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ค๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ง๐˜ถ๐˜ญ๐˜ง๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฆ๐˜น๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ค๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ด.ย ๐Ÿค”

For example, if a parent holds a child to very low expectations the odds are very likely the child won’t ever go past the expectations the parent set for them. They will only achieve the most minimal, the expectations set by the parent.ย ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

๐—ฆ๐—ข ๐—™๐—ข๐—ฅ ๐—” ๐—Ÿ๐—ข๐—ก๐—š ๐—ง๐—œ๐— ๐—˜ ๐—œ ๐—จ๐—ฆ๐—˜ ๐—ง๐—ข ๐—Ÿ๐—˜๐—ง ๐—ข๐—ง๐—›๐—˜๐—ฅ๐—ฆ ๐——๐—œ๐—–๐—ง๐—”๐—ง๐—˜ ๐—›๐—ข๐—ช ๐—œ ๐—ช๐—”๐—ฆ ๐—š๐—ข๐—œ๐—ก๐—š ๐—ง๐—ข ๐—Ÿ๐—œ๐—ฉ๐—˜ ๐— ๐—ฌ ๐—Ÿ๐—œ๐—™๐—˜…๐Ÿ˜”

But then at one point I finally decided I was going on my own path. These past few years I’ve continually learned that everything starts with Me: ๐ˆ ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ญ๐š๐ค๐ž ๐œ๐จ๐ง๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฅ ๐จ๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐ฅ๐ข๐Ÿ๐ž, ๐ก๐จ๐ฐ ๐ˆ ๐œ๐ก๐จ๐จ๐ฌ๐ž ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฌ๐ž๐ž ๐ข๐ญ, ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ก๐จ๐ฐ ๐ˆ’๐ฆ ๐ ๐จ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž ๐ข๐ญ. ๐Ž๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฌ๐ž, ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž๐จ๐ง๐ž ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž๐จ๐ง๐ž ๐ž๐ฅ๐ฌ๐ž’๐ฌ ๐ž๐ฑ๐ฉ๐ž๐œ๐ญ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฆ๐ž.ย ๐Ÿ‘

๐Ÿ“Œย Dale Carnegie explained it in his principles on How to Win Friends and Influence People.

๐Ÿ“Œย Stephen Covey showed it with the Habit of Being Proactive.

๐Ÿ“Œย The Stoics taught it through their principles of self-control.

๐Ÿ“Œย The Existentialists shared it through the creation of meanings.

๐Ÿ“Œย Individuals like Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. excelled at it by example.

It’s the power of helping OURSELVES FIRST before we start trying to help the rest of the world. It’s about taking CONTROL over our emotions rather than letting them and our environment control us. It’s about living our lives for a PURPOSE greater than just ourselves. It’s about a “dream”, a vision of a greater future for all of humanity. ๐Ÿ‘ฅ

๐Œ๐จ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ข๐ฆ๐ฉ๐จ๐ซ๐ญ๐š๐ง๐ญ๐ฅ๐ฒ, ๐ข๐ญ’๐ฌ ๐š๐›๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐š๐›๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐˜๐Ž๐” ๐ƒ๐„๐…๐ˆ๐๐ˆ๐๐† ๐˜๐Ž๐”๐‘ ๐‹๐ˆ๐…๐„. ๐ŸŒŽ

What I’ve come to realize again and again is that my past does not have to equal the future. I’ve realized I am more capable than what any label or diagnosis will dictate about me.ย ๐Ÿ™Œ

๐˜๐˜ข๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ข ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜บ ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ช๐˜ต ๐˜จ๐˜ข๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ข ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ถ๐˜ญ๐˜ต ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ๐˜ญ๐˜บ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ? “๐˜Š๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜จ๐˜ณ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ด, ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ’๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ ๐˜๐˜•๐˜๐˜‘!” ๐Ÿ˜…

๐“๐ก๐ž ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐›๐ฅ๐ž๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฌ๐ž ๐ญ๐ž๐ฌ๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฒ ๐œ๐š๐ง ๐ญ๐ž๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ก๐จ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐๐Ž๐–. ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฒ ๐๐จ๐ง’๐ญ ๐ญ๐ž๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ก๐จ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ’๐ซ๐ž ๐ ๐จ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐จ ๐ง๐ž๐œ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ๐š๐ซ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐›๐ž ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐…๐”๐“๐”๐‘๐„. ๐ŸŒŸ

We can change! We can mentally evolve! Autism may be a part of who I am now, but that doesn’t mean it will ever be my final destination!ย ๐Ÿ›ฃ๏ธ

๐€๐ฎ๐ญ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐š๐ง ๐„๐—๐๐‹๐€๐๐€๐“๐ˆ๐Ž๐, ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ƒ๐„๐’๐“๐ˆ๐๐€๐“๐ˆ๐Ž๐! ๐ŸŒŸ

I ultimately will define Me, not someone else, not a test, and definitely not a set of diagnostic criteria. I mean, I can choose to keep a fixed identity for the rest of my life…nah!ย ๐Ÿ˜‰

So these past few years I’ve been on a mission to Transcend Labels. My intention is to show the world what’s possible, to show others the importance of looking beneath the surface, past the labels, past the stereotypes, and to see each other for the common humanity we all possess.ย ๐Ÿ‘ฅ

I see lasting change in the world happening through the individual from the inside-out, not the outside-in. I believe that the better we can be for ourselves, the better we can be for others.ย ๐ŸŒŽ

Gandhi said: “Be the change you wish to see in the world”. Everyone has an opinion, but there are fewer people out there setting the example. Will you join me?!ย ๐Ÿ‘Œ

.

I hope this resonates with you! If it does, I would really appreciate if you could share this someone you believe would also benefit from this message! If there are any additional areas I can add value to your life as well as in the LinkedIn community, please let me know!ย ๐Ÿ™‚

My areas of expertise include:

๐Ÿ‘ย Detail-oriented, Thoroughness

๐Ÿ‘ย Quality-over-quantity Focused

๐Ÿ‘ย Analytical, Systemic, Bottom-Up Thinking

๐Ÿ‘ย Emotional intelligence (plus 10 years in Customer Service)

๐Ÿ‘ย Social media, Building Engagement

With gratitude,

Donald “Ace” Arteagaย โค๏ธ

——-

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Why THEIR Words Meant Nothing! ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

โš ๏ธ ๐€ ๐Œ๐„๐’๐’๐€๐†๐„ ๐“๐Ž ๐„๐•๐„๐‘๐˜๐Ž๐๐„! โš ๏ธ

.

๐Ÿ‘Š To the child who was told they were ‘weak‘…

๐Ÿ‘Š To the teenager who was mocked in school for not ‘being normal‘…

๐Ÿ‘Š To the adult who still hears the opinions of others in their head repeating from the past…

Their words meant NOTHING! ๐Ÿ’ฉ

That’s right! Their words were never going to define you or who you were going to be! And they never will! They were only but words…

โœ–๏ธ Words from people who weren’t happy with themselves

โœ–๏ธ Words from people who were following what others did to fit in

โœ–๏ธ Words from people who had already set limitations on their own life

โœ–๏ธ Words from people who were also still trying to understand this journey we call Life

I know this…because I’ve also been this person before. ๐Ÿ™‹โ™‚๏ธ

But what I’ve learned throughout my journey is what I’m sharing with you now. Consider me sharing this lesson with you now so you don’t have to learn it later! ๐Ÿ˜Š

Together, through our example and our personal growth, we all can show others what’s possible! We can be the change we wish to see in the world. ๐ŸŒŽ

It starts with You…NOW! โฒ๏ธ 

——-

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How Words Shape EVERYTHING!

๐Ÿ”  ๐–๐Ž๐‘๐ƒ๐’ ๐’๐‡๐€๐๐„ ๐Ž๐”๐‘ ๐‘๐„๐€๐‹๐ˆ๐“๐˜! ๐Ÿ” 

Two friends attend a party. Friend #1 wants to introduce Friend #2 to another person (Friend #3).

Among the crowd of people, they see Friend #3 across the room. 

They start to walk over. But before they reach Person #3, Friend #1 leans over to Friend #2 and mutters: “๐˜‘๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ฌ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ, ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ’๐˜ด ๐˜จ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜ˆ๐˜‹๐˜‹ ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ด ๐˜ข ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜บ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ…”

As Friend #2 is introduced to Friend #3, they take a quick liking to each other. They have a lot in common and connect very easily!

But Friend #2 is also honestly a bit confused. In their mind, they were expecting to have a hard time talking to Friend #3. After all, they were just told Friend #3 has ADD…๐Ÿค”

๐ŸŒŸ ๐‹๐€๐๐„๐‹๐’ ๐€๐‘๐„ ๐€๐ ๐„๐—๐๐‹๐€๐๐€๐“๐ˆ๐Ž๐, ๐๐Ž๐“ ๐“๐‡๐„ ๐ƒ๐„๐’๐“๐ˆ๐๐€๐“๐ˆ๐Ž๐! ๐ŸŒŸ

When people hear the word “Autism” they have a preconceived idea of a person who is going to fit that label. A lot of people I know think of Dustin Hoffman’s character from “Rain Man”. ๐Ÿ‘ค

This is not limited to the word “Autism” either. โฌ†๏ธ

Every word carries a set of meanings and interpretations for the person who receives them. Many people can hear the word “Autism” today and, by virtue of the word itself, have been primed to think less of someone as an individual and more as something “deficient”, “less”, “wrong”.

We forget the common humanity of a person in place of their psychiatric negation. ๐Ÿ˜”

That’s why my mission exists. ๐Ÿ™Œ

You are more than a label. You are more than other people’s assumptions about you. Your life is more than the descriptions in a diagnostic manual. ๐Ÿ’ช

Show what’s possible. You define you, and you create you. โค๏ธ 

Please SHARE to spread this message!

——-

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Why FIGHTING Isn’t The Answer!

It’s what the philosopher Alan Watts referred to as the Backwards Law โฌ‡๏ธ:

๐ŸŒŸ ๐“๐ก๐ž ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ž ๐ฐ๐ž ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐š๐ง ๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž ๐ญ๐จ ๐ก๐š๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ž๐ง, ๐ฉ๐š๐ซ๐š๐๐จ๐ฑ๐ข๐œ๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฅ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ค๐ž๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐ž ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ญ๐จ ๐š๐ญ๐ญ๐š๐ข๐ง ๐ข๐ญ. ๐ŸŒŸ

Take the example of a person who falls into a lake and scrambles to reach the water’s surface. ๐Ÿ’ฆ

The more they frantically fight to reach the surface, the more their body sinks underwater. ๐ŸŒŠ

Did you ever notice that? ๐Ÿ‘€

But when the person stops fighting, when they stop resisting…their body naturally floats up to the surface. No effort required! ๐Ÿ’ง

Or let me give another example: A person says “๐˜ ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ฑ๐˜ฑ๐˜บ.” โ˜น๏ธ

Sounds pretty reasonable, right? ๐Ÿ‘

But the problem is when you say this, you also implicitly say to yourself: “๐˜ ๐˜ข๐˜ฎ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ฑ๐˜ฑ๐˜บ”, which in turn makes you EVEN LESS happy. ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

Unintentionally, you create an even greater distance from the surface of the water that you call happiness! ๐Ÿคฏ

As Mark Manson puts it: “…๐˜ฑ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ถ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ญ๐˜บ ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ง๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ค๐˜ฆ๐˜ด ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ง๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ฌ ๐˜ช๐˜ต ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ง๐˜ช๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜ฑ๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ฆ.” ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ

It’s quite a paradox! ๐Ÿ˜…

So, what does this Backwards Law mean for us?

๐Ÿ“Œ That the more we desire to be rich the poorer we feel.

๐Ÿ“Œ That the more we desire to be happy the sadder we feel.

๐Ÿ“Œ That the more we desire things to go exactly the way we want them to go the more helpless we feel.

This means that even the most privileged of individuals in the world can still feel like victims. ๐Ÿ˜“

This means that even in the best of circumstances a person can still feel it to be the end of the world. ๐Ÿ˜จ

๐ŸŒŸ ๐“๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฆ๐ž๐š๐ง๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ง ๐ข๐Ÿ ๐ฐ๐ž ๐œ๐ก๐š๐ง๐ ๐ž ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ž๐ง๐ฏ๐ข๐ซ๐จ๐ง๐ฆ๐ž๐ง๐ญ, ๐ข๐ญ ๐๐จ๐ž๐ฌ๐ง’๐ญ ๐ฆ๐š๐ค๐ž ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐œ๐ก ๐๐ข๐Ÿ๐Ÿ๐ž๐ซ๐ž๐ง๐œ๐ž ๐ข๐Ÿ ๐ฐ๐ž’๐ซ๐ž ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐œ๐š๐ซ๐ซ๐ฒ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐š ๐ฌ๐œ๐š๐ซ๐œ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐๐ฌ๐ž๐ญ. ๐ŸŒŸ

Because wherever You go, there You are. ๐Ÿ™Œ

So, what’s the solution? ๐Ÿค”

It’s one I’ve mentioned many times before, and it’s one I still have to remind myself of from time to time: Acceptance. โค๏ธ

Let go. Stop resisting. Give up the fight. ๐Ÿ™Œ

Because it’s only with more resisting that the problem you’re fighting will continue to persist. ๐Ÿ™Œ

In other words, stop trying to get it…and you’ll have it. ๐Ÿ™‚

——-

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Why Words Will Never HURT You!

There’s a saying I used to hear as a kid: “๐˜š๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ค๐˜ฌ๐˜ด ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด ๐˜ฎ๐˜ข๐˜บ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ฌ ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด, ๐˜ฃ๐˜ถ๐˜ต ๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ฅ๐˜ด ๐˜ธ๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ต ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ.” ๐Ÿ™Œ

It’s a saying I still remind myself of today. ๐Ÿ™‚

But there seems to be a HUGE misunderstanding these days about this saying. โš ๏ธ

People respond, “๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต’๐˜ด ๐˜ข ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฆ! ๐˜–๐˜ง ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ฅ๐˜ด ๐˜ฉ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ต! ๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ด๐˜ถ๐˜ญ๐˜ต๐˜ด ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ, ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฃ๐˜ท๐˜ช๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ญ๐˜บ ๐˜ง๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ!” ๐Ÿ’”

Of course! I’m not disagreeing with that. ๐Ÿ‘

Words indeed have power. We indeed should be mindful of what we say and how we communicate it. I agree 100%! ๐Ÿ’ฏ

But this saying doesn’t deny the power of words either. ๐Ÿ™Œ

Rather, this saying is used as a mantra by people like myself to DIFFUSE the power words carry in the first place. ๐Ÿ—ก๏ธ

This saying is a reminder that in spite of the initial pain I feel from the words of another I refuse to allow their words to sink in any deeper. I refuse to allow their words to take up any more space in my psyche. ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ

This saying is a reminder to transform our response from being emotionally reactive to stoically proactive. ๐Ÿ’ช

๐ŸŒŸ If words didn’t hurt, we wouldn’t need a saying like this in the first place! ๐ŸŒŸ

Unfortunately, it seems in our modern age we’ve forgotten the importance of this saying. ๐Ÿ˜”

It seems people now take this saying way too literally and forget its original purpose. ๐Ÿ˜ž

Perhaps it’s time we stopped throwing out the baby with the bathwater and revisited this stoic wisdom here before us. ๐Ÿ™‚

While we can’t make our bones any stronger than they are now, our mind is the one part of ourselves we can always continue to strengthen every day! โค๏ธ

With time and practice, I promise you, there will come a time when you hear the words of another, words that used to make your blood oil, words you used to take so personally…and find that emotional charge practically gone! ๐Ÿง˜โ™‚๏ธ

I’m not saying getting to this place is easy. But from personal experience I can tell you that once you get there, you’ll see how easy it is to keep going back to that point over and over again. You’ll feel invincible! โค๏ธ

Don’t give up your power! You got this! ๐Ÿ’ช

——-

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