How AUTISM Helped Me DEFY the Odds! (PERSONAL)

😲 I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH AUTISM!!! 😲

I use to consider myself a very introverted person, very shy, and very set in my own closed routines. I was more of a thinker than a doer and more a dreamer than a leader. Can you relate to that? If not, can you think of someone in your life who was like that? 🤔

Being diagnosed with Autism in 7th grade was probably the starting point for me, the point where I confirmed these ideas to myself about who I was: something was ‘wrong’ in my brain. 🧠 “I have Autism. It explains why I feel the way I feel. It’s just something that’s a part of me; I can’t change it.” 🤷‍♂️

But even at the time I remember feeling like I didn’t want to be labeled like this. I saw the label before me with all its negativity, a label I needed to object and rebel from. 👊 I saw the stigmas of this label becoming my reality, and once I started seeing it reflected in other people’s behaviors towards me it frightened me to the core! 😨

I have vivid memories from school where I refused to accept new accommodations because of the new label. I was now being offered additional time on tests, opportunities to leave class to ‘cool down’, and every single time I refused. I was being treated differently. I hadn’t changed, but with my new label I had changed in the eyes of everyone else. 😟 Has someone ever said something about you that you knew wasn’t true? Did you ever feel like you just wanted to jump on the defense and say: “That is absolutely NOT TRUE!” 🤬

With my new label I was constantly reminded about my new-given identity: what I couldn’t do, what my limitations were, and what struggles I’d have the rest of my life. 🔮 Very little was I ever reminded about all my current strengths or what I could do. It was mostly the echoes from a set of diagnostic criteria. 📖

In psychology, the term is referred to as a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy. In sociology, it’s referred to as the Labeling Theory. To put it simply: If a person holds a belief in their mind about someone else’s future expectations, the person will unconsciously help in influencing the other person into fulfilling those expectations. 🤔

So for example, if a parent holds a child to very low expectations the odds are very likely the child won’t ever go past the ones the parent already set for them. They will only achieve the most minimal, the expectations set by the parent. 😲

SO FOR A LONG TIME I USE TO LET OTHERS DICTATE HOW I WAS GOING TO LIVE MY LIFE…😔

But then at one point I finally decided I was going on my own path. These past few years I’ve learned that everything starts with Me: I must take control of my life, how I choose to see it, and how I’m going to live it. 👍

📌 Dale Carnegie explained it through his principles to Win Friends and Influence People.

📌 Stephen Covey said it with his Habit of Being Proactive.

📌 The Stoics taught it through their principles of self-control.

📌 The Existentialists shared it through the creation of meanings.

📌 Individuals like Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. excelled it through their example.

It’s the power of helping OURSELVES FIRST before we start trying to help the rest of the world. It’s about taking CONTROL over our emotions rather than letting them and our environment control us. It’s about living our lives for a PURPOSE greater than just ourselves. It’s about a “dream”, a vision of a greater future for all of humanity. Most importantly, it’s about YOU DEFINING YOUR LIFE. 🌎

What I’ve come to realize again and again is that my past does not have to equal the future. I’ve realized I am more capable than what any label or diagnosis will dictate. 🙌

Have you ever taken a personality test and it gave you a result you wholeheartedly believed in? “Congrats, you’re an INFJ!” The problem with these tests is they can tell you who you are NOW. But they don’t tell you who you’ll necessarily be in the FUTURE. We can change as well as mentally evolve. It’s a part of who I may be now, but it’s not the final destination! 🛣️

I’ve realized that I ultimately will define Me, not someone else, not a test, and not a set of diagnostic criteria. Otherwise I keep a fixed identity for the rest of my life…nah! 😉

So this year I’ve been on a mission to Transcend Labels. I am showing the world what’s possible, to show others how to look beneath the surface, past the labels, past the stereotypes, and to see each other for who we all are. 👥

I truly believe when we do this we’ll start seeing the humanity within each other, see each other as human beings, and see that we are all more alike than we like to believe. With that not only comes greater understanding for our neighbors but most importantly an unconditional love, because the realization comes: “That person is also Me.” ❤️

I see lasting change in the world happening through the individual from the inside-out, not the outside-in. I believe that the better we can be for ourselves, the better we can be for others. 🌎

Gandhi said: “Be the change you wish to see in the world”. Everyone has an opinion, but there are fewer people out there who ever set the example. Will we be the next examples?! 👌

I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH AUTISM; AN EXPLANATION, BUT NOT THE DESTINATION!  💪

I hope this resonates with many of you. I would appreciate it if you could share this post with others, whoever you believe will also benefit from these words. If there are any additional areas I can add value to your life as well as in the blogging community, please let me know! 🙂

My areas of expertise include:

👍 Detail-oriented, Thoroughness

👍 Quality-over-quantity Focused

👍 Analytical, Systemic Thinking

👍 Emotional intelligence (plus 10 years in Customer Service)

👍 Social media, Building Engagement

 

With lots of gratitude,

Donald “Ace” Arteaga ❤️

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Why You Should STEP Outside Yourself!

Have you ever watched a movie and seen an actor play a character which simply astounded you? 😲

You watched the actor on screen, and you were struck by how real the actor portrayed the character. You were taken in by their struggle, their pain, and you cried when they cried. You knew it was just a movie, but for a moment in time you saw this actor as nobody else but this character. 👏

How do these actors pull it off? How do they bring these characters to life in such a way? 🤔

I’m not an actor by trade, but I did have some acting roles back when I was in school. And what I learned not only applies to acting, but also to how can better understand others. 👥

🌟 To understand requires you to step outside yourself. 🌟

To better understand others:

📍 We need to acknowledge our common humanity, an understanding we’re all here on this planet making our way through our lives as best as we can.

📍 We need to know what motivates people to do what they do. What drives a person to take certain actions? Are they driven by greed? Revenge? To please others? To be independent?

📍 Perhaps most important, you need to understand yourself. The better you understand yourself, what drives you, your habits, your own self-awareness the better you understand others. And vice versa, if you better understand others, you can also use what you learn to better understand yourself.

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Buzzfeed: Why Journalistic INTEGRITY is Crucial!

I just woke up here in Australia to hear about the “controversy” regarding Tony. Buzzfeed just published a defamatory article sharing anecdotes and “insider” testimonies accusing Tony of sexual allegations and mistreatment back in the 1990’s. 😔
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This the same Buzzfeed that did a similar piece during Tony’s MeToo controversy last year when they cited a 10-minute video someone recorded at his event (out of a 40+ hour event) as “proof” he was some sort of misogynist. I was at that event, as well as the one they cite in their recent article about this past December. 😲
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As expected, both situations were massively taken out of context in favor of sensationalized news by journalists who’ve never attended an event, let alone ever met the man personally. And it’s so easy to generalize what you don’t understand. It’s easier to label someone as “this” or “that” than take the time to know them or who they are. 👍
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It’s quite easy in our cynical society today to demonize a person from the safety of one’s computer, to cherry-pick details as “proof” that something more sinister is happening behind the scenes of the Rich and Powerful. Conspiracy theorists online do it all the time. 🤷‍♂️
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These days emotions can matter more than facts. But just because you “feel” something to be true does not mean it is. That is why we have the beauty of facts; they stand regardless and outside of one’s feelings.
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The problem is our emotions can be VERY faulty. 👍
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Emotions distort the facts about our pasts and color our perceptions every single day of our lives. 🌈
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🌟 Whatever we believe and focus on about our lives, we will in turn experience it. 🌟
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🙌 If we believe we are victims of our past, we’ll continue holding feelings of oppression for as long as we live.

🙌 If we believe our pasts don’t have to define our future, we’ll continue to find ways to become more than our pasts.

🙌 If we believe the current feminist narrative that we live in a patriarchal society systemically designed to oppress woman and minorities, we’ll experience suffering with every interaction we have with people we believe are more “privileged” than us.
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“Pain is inevitable. But suffering is optional.” 🗣️
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Don’t get me wrong, I’m not blindly siding with Tony. But I have more than massive skepticism for a news media which has a history of thriving on fear, decades-old controversy, and targeting Tony. 😞
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Buzzfeed’s “proof” in their article are former disgruntled employees, cherry-picked anecdotes, and “insiders” we cannot verify any of their claims. He’s an easy target for them; he’s rich, charismatic, and aren’t we all cynical of the Rich and Powerful’s motivations to truly do good for others! 👎
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But they are grasping at straws of a 40+ years career of a man who’s actually influenced millions of lives to live less as Blaming Victims of the Past and more as Loving Conquerers of the Future. 💨
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They cite a recording from Date With Destiny this past December of a woman who used the term “emotional violence” in regards to her husband. BuzzFeed tried to get her to support their article, but she refused. She even made her own video to stress the article is less about getting the truth and more about sensationalism. I also know her personally. 😔
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Recording content is strictly prohibited at events. It’s not because of some diabolical means to hide what happens at events; it’s because snippets of these long events can take conversations and teachings greatly out of context. It’s so participants have a safe space to be extremely honest, open, vulnerable, and also be challenged on their limiting beliefs. 🙌
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Buzzfeed violated the sanctity of this safe space and this beautiful woman’s privacy by releasing just 1 minute of the hour long conversation, all in the name of a false “social justice”. 👎
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🌟 My biggest advice to everyone: don’t take what you read on the news at face value. It is more often than not done at the expense of truth. It’s done to startle you, to appeal to your emotions, to grab your attention rather than be truthful. 🌟
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Here are just a few facts BuzzFeed, in their own words, “don’t want you to know” 😱:
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📌 Contrary to BuzzFeed’s article: On Crew, management continuously encourages us throughout events to take care of our physical and mental health. They also provide us food and encourage us to take breaks whenever needed. Our health comes first.

📌 Event days are long. It’s done intentionally to immerse oneself in the material being taught. Participants are well aware of this. They sign a waiver acknowledging the event’s physical and emotional demands, as well as the acknowledgement NOT to record content.

📌 No event doors are locked, no one is told “you can’t leave” the event, and people are free to enter and leave the room as much as they please.

📌 Contrary to BuzzFeed’s article: the 2018 lawsuit they mention was actually filed by 2 former one-time Crew members claiming they were lawfully owed compensation for volunteering. Crew is a volunteer position. We all know we are volunteering without compensation; it’s why it is called “volunteering”.

📌 The concept of “masculine and feminine energies” is not Tony’s own theory. It is actually rooted in the Hinduism concept of Shiva and Shakti as well as other relationship authors.

📌 Contrary to Buzzfeed’s article: Tony does NOT “randomly” pick people out of the audience to speak. Anyone he’s ever done an intervention with or been given a chance to speak raised their hand in order to participate. No one is forced to speak.

📌 Tony uses societal taboo words to snap people out of emotional states during interventions. This may include references to an “orgasm” or “masturbation” precisely for that reason; it shocks us into a different emotional state, whether that’s into a “laughing” one or a “being offended” one.
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If anyone has any questions, I’m happy to help answer. We’re all going to have an amazing event here this week in Cairns and change thousands of more lives for the better! ❤️
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I unfortunately can’t say the same for Buzzfeed. 👎
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Tony’s open letter to Buzzfeed: https://medium.com/…/an-open-letter-to-buzzfeed-editors-and…
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SHARE this real truth! 😊
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#EnoughIsEnough #TruthIsPower #IStandWithTony #FactsOverFear

Why We Stay With BAD Company!

Why do we spend time with people who make us miserable? Why do we continue surrounding ourselves with others who will bring out the worst in us? 🤔

One reason is it feels better to be with some sort of company than with none at all. Even if our company treats us horribly, Fear deducts it’s safer to be with them and feel sad than to be completely alone and feel sad. 😔

To let go of any company requires us to go outside, into unknown territory. The fear of the unknown can be most paralyzing. I’ve felt it at times myself! 👍

🌟 Our fear to let go of something can outweigh our fear of holding onto it. Whatever we fear less of we will go towards. 🌟

It’s also in our evolution as human beings. We are social beings. It benefitted our ancestors’ survival to form bonds and groups. It was better to be a part of a tribe than alone in the wilderness to fend for oneself. 👍

But here’s the Good News: in our modern day civilization, we have more opportunities than ever to seek people and peer groups which better serve us! 😄

📍 Surround yourself with people who empower you, not put you down.

📍 Spend time with others you wish to emulate and become.

📍 Give yourself permission to have MORE than one peer group.

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Why You DON’T Remember Your Past!

😱 YOU DON’T REMEMBER YOUR PAST (REALLY)! 😱

Did you know I make these social media posts not just for you all but also for myself? Yeah I know! I’m so selfish right?! 😂

For me, these posts I create are not only to share with you but they’re also friendly reminders to myself. My Future Self. It’s so he never forgets the memories I’m choosing to retain for him. ❤️

Now perhaps what I just said sounds a bit odd; what do I mean: “retain”?! Let me ask you this: do you remember every single waking moment of your whole entire life? I highly doubt it. 😉

What if I told you with every memory you have, you also have the choice to choose which parts you’ll take with you into your future. 😱

No this isn’t some voodoo! I’m talking about:

📌 The parts of your past you choose to continue focusing on

📌 The parts of your past which mattered to you the most

📌 The parts of your past you defined as shaping you into the person you are today

Think of a family photo where everyone looks so cheerful and is enjoying themselves. But in actuality, the real moment wasn’t as cheerful as the photo made it out to be. The family was simply posing for a photo, putting on forced smiles for the camera. 📸

And say a few years later a family member comes across the photo. They barely remember the actual moment, but their only reference is now this photo. This cheerful photo. Thus, that family member starts to believe the past moment was in fact a pleasant one. But remember: it actually wasn’t. 😲

🌟 We don’t remember our pasts as a matter of fact. We remember the stories we created about our pasts. 🌟

So when I say “retain”, it’s a matter of questions to ask of oneself: What do I want to remember for my future? What stories will I choose to continue remembering about my past? What stories am I willing to let go of? 🤔

Even more importantly: How will I choose to ultimately define my past? Are the moments I once felt negative about now the thorns I carry? 😡 Or will I now decide to see each thorn as a blessing in disguise instead? 🌻

🌟 It’s less about what actually happened in our pasts and more about how we’re choosing to interpret them for our future. 🌟

This photo was taken as I sat atop Dunure Castle. I share this photo because it’s how I want to remember this moment in time. ⏰ This photo is what I want to represent that moment for my Future Self to see later. And whatever else I write here about this moment is what I’m consciously choosing for my Future Self to keep on remembering. 😊

While we certainly remember key moments from our posts, we often forget the smaller details and retain what we wish to remember. That being said, I want to make sure my Future Self also remember this about this moment:

📍 How in awe I was sitting atop there, how grand it all felt to me.

📍 How my friend Kris Nimbley took the photo and was using the Rule of Thirds I told him about.

📍 How it was a chilly and windy day, but the scenery dissolved the complaints I had in my mind.

📍 How it was one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever visited, how I wanted to stay there for hours.

Choose what you will remember and how you will define it. Because however you define it now is what’s going to shape the rest of your life. ❤️ #EudaimonicLife

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