How AUTISM Helped Me DEFY the Odds! (PERSONAL)

๐Ÿ˜ฒย I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH AUTISM!!!ย ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

I use to consider myself a very introverted person, very shy, and very set in my own closed routines. I was more of a thinker than a doer and more a dreamer than a leader. Can you relate to that? If not, can you think of someone in your life who was like that?ย ๐Ÿค”

Being diagnosed with Autism in 7th grade was probably the starting point for me, the point where I confirmed these ideas to myself about who I was: something was ‘wrong’ in my brain.ย ๐Ÿง ย “I have Autism. It explains why I feel the way I feel. It’s just something that’s a part of me; I can’t change it.”ย ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ

But even at the time I remember feeling like I didnโ€™t want to be labeled like this. I saw the label before me with all its negativity, a label I needed to object and rebel from.ย ๐Ÿ‘Šย I saw the stigmas of this label becoming my reality, and once I started seeing it reflected in other people’s behaviors towards me it frightened me to the core!ย ๐Ÿ˜จ

I have vivid memories from school where I refused to accept new accommodations because of the new label. I was now being offered additional time on tests, opportunities to leave class to ‘cool down’, and every single time I refused. I was being treated differently. I hadn’t changed, but with my new label I had changed in the eyes of everyone else.ย ๐Ÿ˜Ÿย Has someone ever said something about you that you knew wasn’t true? Did you ever feel like you just wanted to jump on the defense and say: “That is absolutely NOT TRUE!”ย ๐Ÿคฌ

With my new label I was constantly reminded about my new-given identity: what I couldn’t do, what my limitations were, and what struggles I’d have the rest of my life.ย ๐Ÿ”ฎย Very little was I ever reminded about all my current strengths or what I could do. It was mostly the echoes from a set of diagnostic criteria.ย ๐Ÿ“–

In psychology, the term is referred to as a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy. In sociology, it’s referred to as the Labeling Theory. To put it simply: If a person holds a belief in their mind about someone else’s future expectations, the person will unconsciously help in influencing the other person into fulfilling those expectations.ย ๐Ÿค”

So for example, if a parent holds a child to very low expectations the odds are very likely the child won’t ever go past the ones the parent already set for them. They will only achieve the most minimal, the expectations set by the parent.ย ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

SO FOR A LONG TIME I USE TO LET OTHERS DICTATE HOW I WAS GOING TO LIVE MY LIFE…๐Ÿ˜”

But then at one point I finally decided I was going on my own path. These past few years I’ve learned that everything starts with Me: I must take control of my life, how I choose to see it, and how I’m going to live it.ย ๐Ÿ‘

๐Ÿ“Œย Dale Carnegie explained it through his principles to Win Friends and Influence People.

๐Ÿ“Œย Stephen Covey said it with his Habit of Being Proactive.

๐Ÿ“Œย The Stoics taught it through their principles of self-control.

๐Ÿ“Œย The Existentialists shared it through the creation of meanings.

๐Ÿ“Œย Individuals like Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. excelled it through their example.

It’s the power of helping OURSELVES FIRST before we start trying to help the rest of the world. It’s about taking CONTROL over our emotions rather than letting them and our environment control us. It’s about living our lives for a PURPOSE greater than just ourselves. It’s about a “dream”, a vision of a greater future for all of humanity. Most importantly, it’s about YOU DEFINING YOUR LIFE.ย ๐ŸŒŽ

What I’ve come to realize again and again is that my past does not have to equal the future. I’ve realized I am more capable than what any label or diagnosis will dictate.ย ๐Ÿ™Œ

Have you ever taken a personality test and it gave you a result you wholeheartedly believed in? “Congrats, you’re an INFJ!” The problem with these tests is they can tell you who you are NOW. But they don’t tell you who you’ll necessarily be in the FUTURE. We can change as well as mentally evolve. It’s a part of who I may be now, but it’s not the final destination!ย ๐Ÿ›ฃ๏ธ

I’ve realized that I ultimately will define Me, not someone else, not a test, and not a set of diagnostic criteria. Otherwise I keep a fixed identity for the rest of my life…nah!ย ๐Ÿ˜‰

So this year I’ve been on a mission to Transcend Labels. I am showing the world what’s possible, to show others how to look beneath the surface, past the labels, past the stereotypes, and to see each other for who we all are.ย ๐Ÿ‘ฅ

I truly believe when we do this we’ll start seeing the humanity within each other, see each other as human beings, and see that we are all more alike than we like to believe. With that not only comes greater understanding for our neighbors but most importantly an unconditional love, because the realization comes: “That person is also Me.”ย โค๏ธ

I see lasting change in the world happening through the individual from the inside-out, not the outside-in. I believe that the better we can be for ourselves, the better we can be for others.ย ๐ŸŒŽ

Gandhi said: “Be the change you wish to see in the world”. Everyone has an opinion, but there are fewer people out there who ever set the example. Will we be the next examples?!ย ๐Ÿ‘Œ

I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH AUTISM; AN EXPLANATION, BUT NOT THE DESTINATION!ย ย ๐Ÿ’ช

I hope this resonates with many of you. I would appreciate it if you could share this post with others, whoever you believe will also benefit from these words. If there are any additional areas I can add value to your life as well as in the blogging community, please let me know!ย ๐Ÿ™‚

My areas of expertise include:

๐Ÿ‘ย Detail-oriented, Thoroughness

๐Ÿ‘ย Quality-over-quantity Focused

๐Ÿ‘ย Analytical, Systemic Thinking

๐Ÿ‘ย Emotional intelligence (plus 10 years in Customer Service)

๐Ÿ‘ย Social media, Building Engagement

 

With lots of gratitude,

Donald “Ace” Arteagaย โค๏ธ

.

FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA

Patreon:ย https://bit.ly/2HTZHpF

LinkedIn:ย https://bit.ly/2RER81M

Facebook:ย https://bit.ly/2DSebCh

Instagram:ย https://bit.ly/2t2Kd8A

Holonis:ย https://bit.ly/2t8Rwvi

Why EVERYONE (and No One) Has “The Solution”!

Ladies and gentlemen: I present to you something NO ONE has ever said before! EVER! Not a single person! Itโ€™s 100% ORIGINAL! What I share will SHOCK you!ย ๐Ÿ˜ฑ
.
ARE YOU TIRED OF NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE?ย ๐Ÿ‘
.
ARE YOU TIRED OF NOT KNOWING WHO TO FOLLOW?ย ๐Ÿ‘
.
ARE YOU TIRED OF PEOPLE PITCHING YOU THEY HAVE THE SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS?ย ๐Ÿ‘
.
Well I have AMAZING news for you! No need to THINK about it any longer! No need to ASK any more questions! No need to WORRY!ย ๐Ÿ˜…
.
Because Iโ€ฆDonald Arteagaโ€ฆAre you ready for this…?!ย ๐Ÿ˜ฑ
.
Iโ€™m not sure youโ€™re ready!ย ๐Ÿ˜ถ
.
Are you REALLY sure?!?!ย ๐Ÿ˜ˆ
.
.
.
.
Iโ€ฆDonald Arteagaโ€ฆhave THE SOLUTION to all your problems!ย ๐Ÿฅณ
.
๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธย โ€œโ€ฆWait! What?!โ€ย ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ
.
Okay, I was being a bit silly there!ย ๐Ÿคฃ
.
But I do have a point! Online, EVERYONE has โ€œtheir wayโ€. Everyone has their โ€œsolutionsโ€. Their โ€œkeysโ€. Their โ€œanswersโ€. Their โ€œsecrets to successโ€. I have nuggets of my own I share, and I genuinely hope it adds value to your life!ย โค๏ธ
.
But I also want to remind you that all of us who share content and stuff like this are also only human, including myself.ย ๐Ÿ‘ค
.
The problem some of them forget to mention: โ€œTheir wayโ€ is just one of MANY ways. I have โ€œmy wayโ€ too, and I donโ€™t ask that you blindly accept it either.ย ๐Ÿ’ฏ
.
Perhaps I’m doing a disservice to the hierarchical structure of Salesperson and Consumer, Teacher and Student, Influencer and Viewer to point this out.ย ๐Ÿ˜ฑ
.
But in my opinion, it never hurts to be given this reminder when you have everyone marketing for your attention (including me)!ย ๐Ÿ˜
.
Because if thereโ€™s one thing Iโ€™ve learned itโ€™s that you donโ€™t grow when someone provides you all the โ€œsolutionsโ€, all the answers to your problems. You can grow from information, but you also grow from experience, from doing the hard work, and from discovering the answers for yourself.ย ๐Ÿ”Ž
.
Weโ€™re all in one form or another doing the best we can with the resources we have, sharing the bits of wisdom we know with our limited understandings of the universe.ย ๐ŸŒŒ
.
Donโ€™t get me wrong, I donโ€™t say this in a negative way! Iโ€™m not saying what people offer isnโ€™t useful or that you should ignore us. I’m not saying expertise doesn’t matter either.
.
I mean you wouldn’t want a toddler over a trained surgeon performing heart surgery right?ย ๐Ÿคฃ

My main point is I donโ€™t want you to lose your autonomy, to decide for yourself what you find is useful and is helpful to your life. I’m not the final destination for all the answers!ย โŒ
.
I donโ€™t want to tell you what to think. I want to encourage you to think and let the ideas I share simmer in your minds, not blindly accept them. And feel free to disagree, and we can have a conversation!ย ๐Ÿค
.
I wonโ€™t claim I have all the answers because I donโ€™t. And even if the other people online wonโ€™t admit it, I will tell you neither do they. Again, itโ€™s not a bad thing but just the truth.ย ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ
.
Iโ€™ve come to the conclusion this world is filled with many paradoxes and contradictions. For every subjective statement treated as an absolute by one, youโ€™ll find there will always be some exception to the rule.ย ๐Ÿ˜ซ
.
Pick up a Philosophy book and youโ€™ll see what I mean!ย ๐Ÿคฏ
.
Everyone has โ€œtheir wayโ€. Everyone has their โ€œsolutionsโ€. Their โ€œkeysโ€. Their โ€œanswersโ€. Their โ€œsecrets to successโ€.ย ๐Ÿ”ข
.
…But you also must decide what is helpful to you too. I want to make sure you also have a say in this final decision. Much love!ย โค๏ธ

How You TRANSFORM Your Life!

โ€œEver more people today have the means to live, but no meaning to live for.โ€ย – Viktor Franklย ๐Ÿ—ฃ

๐ŸŒŸย A life filled with purpose and meaning is what drives a person forward.ย ๐ŸŒŸ

What gets you out of bed every morning? Do you PUSH yourself out of bed? Or are you PULLED to something greater than the present moment? Why does any person wake up each morning: to liveโ€ฆor to maintain?ย ๐Ÿค”

I believe these are very important questions we need to ask in a world where mental health continues to be a grave concern.ย ๐Ÿง 

โš ๏ธย According to the World Health Organization, depression is the leading cause of mental illness with an estimate 300 MILLION people affected.ย โš ๏ธ

A few years ago I wouldโ€™ve also been a part of that list. But I don’t consider myself anymore.ย ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

โ€œHow did you change that?โ€ย ๐Ÿ’ฌ

One thing I’ll tell you for certain was it wasn’t a quick fix. It’s a process, one which will take time, patience, and lots of focus.ย ๐Ÿ‘€

But I can tell you it’s worth it!ย โค๏ธ

๐Ÿ“ย DO MORE THINGS THAT LIGHT UP YOUR HEART & SOUL. Even if others say it’s not “realistic” or “worth it”, if it’s worth it to you that’s what matters. You do it for you, not for other people.

๐Ÿ“ย START CHOOSING TO SEE YOUR PROBLEMS AS “GIFTS”. No matter how bad the problem is, ask yourself how this problem can work in your favor.

๐Ÿ“ย START CHALLENGING YOUR BAD HABITS & BUILD NEW ONES. It’s easier to break an old habit than it is to build a new one. Remind yourself the changes you’re making are for your Future Self.

๐Ÿ“ย DEVELOP MORE SELF-AWARENESS. Whether it’s meditating, journaling, or creating goals, the better you understand yourself (the good and the bad) the faster you can make adjustments in your life.

๐Ÿ“ย DO MORE GOOD FOR OTHERS. The fastest way out of suffering? Do good for the next person you see. It can even be as simple as a smile. It’s when we’re stuck in our heads where we suffer.

Shoutout to my friend Rapahel and the work his non-profit The Hero Foundation Napa is doing for his community! It’s how I got this awesome shirt!ย ๐Ÿ‘•

I hope it inspires you to spread good too! Because THAT is a life worth living!ย โค๏ธ

Why Self-Help NEEDS Patience!

๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธย “I’m ready to become my best self! Where’s the secret sauce?”ย ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ

Well let’s hold on a second here!ย ๐Ÿ›‘ย I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I think this requires some clarification!ย ๐Ÿ˜…

Do you really want to become your best self? I also want to become my best self, so we’re in this together!ย ๐Ÿค

But there’s a common misconception in the self-help community that needs to be addressed. In fact, I think it’s one the first things people need to know when they decide to work on themselves.ย ๐Ÿ‘

You’re not going to be told it in our modern society. We live in a day and age which thrives on instant gratification.ย ๐Ÿ’จ

๐Ÿ“ย Want an item from Amazon? Get it delivered to your door next day!

๐Ÿ“ย Want to watch a movie? Click and stream it online!

๐Ÿ“ย Want an answer to a random question? Ask Siri on your iPhone!

And let me add these are all GREAT things! The advances in science and technology have brought us so much convenience than we had a decade ago! It should definitely be applauded!ย ๐Ÿ‘

But what I want to emphasize is with personal growth, it’s VERY different! You could even say personal growth is like entering a different culture!ย ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

Why? Because when you want to better yourself, to build new habits, to focus on accomplishing goals, and to do all this the rest of your life…well let me assure there’s not going to be any overnight shipping for this!ย ๐Ÿ˜…

๐ŸŒŸย Becoming your best self will not offer the same conveniences our modern society does.ย ๐ŸŒŸ

It’s going to take time. It’s going to require dedication. You’ll be stepping into uncharted territories. And it will be a journey, not a destination.ย ๐Ÿงญ

It’s easy for us to start working on ourselves, not see the results we want, and we quickly give up. Again, our society reinforces instant gratification.ย ๐Ÿ‘

But think of something in your life you want to work on, to become better at, to improve within yourself. And I want you to think about your Future Self, what he/she would say to you if you embarked on this long-term venture.ย ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ

Becoming your best self is not for me. It’s for you. It’s for your Future Self. It’s because you have only one life to live.ย โŒ›

๐ŸŒŸย Netflix is instant. Living a life is not.ย ๐ŸŒŸ

Why Self Esteem TRIUMPHS Narcissism!

๐ŸŒŸย ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ณ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐˜๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐—ป๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฐ๐—ถ๐˜€๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜€๐—บ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ณ-๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—บ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ.ย ๐ŸŒŸ

Take a person who is narcissistic. They need constant validation. They need to always be right. They need to dominate every argument. They need to be seen as strong and powerful by others. But underneath it all is a person with lots of insecurity and fear.ย ๐Ÿ˜จ

They barely understand themselves as a person, because they’re too focused on what other people think of them. They actually have low self-esteem.ย ๐Ÿ‘€

Now take another person, but this person has high self-esteem. They don’t worry what others think of them. What matters to them is what they think of themselves. They understand themselves on a deep level. They are very self-accepting of who they are. They don’t feel a need to flaunt themselves.ย ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ

They carry their own Inner Cheerleader.ย ๐Ÿฅณ

๐ŸŒŸย ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ณ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐˜๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐—ป๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฐ๐—ถ๐˜€๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜€๐—บ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ณ-๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—บ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ด๐—ฒ๐˜๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ถ๐—ฟ ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ณ-๐˜„๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐˜๐—ต ๐—ณ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—บ. ๐—ก๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฐ๐—ถ๐˜€๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜€๐—บ ๐—ด๐—ฒ๐˜๐˜€ ๐—ถ๐˜ ๐—ณ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—บ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜ƒ๐—ถ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜; ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ณ ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—บ ๐—ด๐—ฒ๐˜๐˜€ ๐—ถ๐˜ ๐—ณ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—บ ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป. ๐ŸŒŸ

Can you relate to either of these people in some way? Perhaps you can relate a bit of both of them?ย ๐Ÿค”

I admit I do!ย ๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™‚๏ธ

Yes, I’ve sometimes looked at how many likes I got on my photos. I’ve sometimes looked to see who liked my content. I’ve sometimes gotten worried when my posts didn’t get a lot of reception.ย ๐Ÿ˜จ

But then again, I also don’t typically depend on Likes and Comments to make me happy either. I am genuinely happy with who I am as a person, my sense of self.ย ๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ค

I share this photo above mostly because modeling photos on social media are what people like to see. So here’s your eye-candy; this is my silly impression of “modeling”! ๐Ÿ˜

And I say this all of this to you with so much love.ย โค๏ธ

๐ŸŒŸย ๐—ช๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ณ-๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ๐—ฝ๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ณ-๐˜„๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐˜๐—ต ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜๐—ถ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—น๐˜† ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜ ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜ƒ๐—ถ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜, ๐˜„๐—ฒ’๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ด๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐˜€๐—ฎ๐—ฝ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฑ.ย ๐ŸŒŸ

Why? Because we won’t always have people on the Internet to validate us. We won’t always have people in our lives that are kind to us. So we will always have to keep refilling our Happiness Cup endlessly.ย โ˜•

And when our cup is empty, what are we left with? Nothing. Emptiness.ย ๐Ÿ’จ

But with self-esteem, your cup is always filled! You refill it whenever you want! You are in control!ย ๐Ÿ’ช

๐ŸŒŸย ๐—Ÿ๐—ฒ๐˜’๐˜€ ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐—ถ๐—น๐—ฑ ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ณ-๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—บ, ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜ ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ป๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฐ๐—ถ๐˜€๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜€๐—บ.ย ๐ŸŒŸ