๐ฒย ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐!!!ย ๐ฒ
I use to consider myself a very introverted person, very shy, and very set in my own closed routines. I was more of a thinker than a doer and more of a dreamer than a leader.
๐๐ข๐ฏ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ข๐ต๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต? ๐๐ณ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ญ๐ช๐ง๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ฐ ๐ช๐ด ๐ญ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต?ย ๐ค
Being diagnosed with Autism was probably the starting point for me, the point where I confirmed to myself who I was: something is just ‘wrong’ with my brain.ย ๐ง
“๐ ๐๐๐ซ๐ ๐ผ๐ช๐ฉ๐๐จ๐ข. ๐๐ฉ ๐๐ญ๐ฅ๐ก๐๐๐ฃ๐จ ๐ฌ๐๐ฎ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ก ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฎ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ก. ๐๐ฉ’๐จ ๐๐ช๐จ๐ฉ ๐ ๐ฅ๐๐ง๐ฉ ๐ค๐ ๐ข๐; ๐ ๐๐๐ฃ’๐ฉ ๐๐๐๐ฃ๐๐ ๐๐ฉ.”ย ๐คทโโ๏ธ
But even way back in 7th grade I remember feeling like I didnโt want to be labeled like this. I saw the label before me with all its negativity, a label I needed to object and rebel from.ย ๐
๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฅ๐๐๐๐ฅ ๐๐๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐ซ๐๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ, ๐๐ง๐ ๐จ๐ง๐๐ ๐ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ซ๐ญ๐๐ ๐ฌ๐๐๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ซ๐๐๐ฅ๐๐๐ญ๐๐ ๐ข๐ง ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ซ ๐ฉ๐๐จ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐’๐ฌ ๐๐๐ก๐๐ฏ๐ข๐จ๐ซ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ๐ฐ๐๐ซ๐ ๐ฆ๐ ๐ข๐ญ ๐๐ซ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ๐๐ง๐๐ ๐ฆ๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐จ๐ซ๐!ย ๐จ
I have vivid memories from school where I refused to accept special accommodations because of the new label. I was now being given opportunities to have additional time on tests, opportunities to leave the classroom to ‘cool down’, and every single time I refused. ๐
I know it was done with good intentions. But what bothered me the most was that I was being treated differently. I had enough self-consciousness trying to fit in with my peers; now I had to worry about what adults were thinking about me! ๐ฉ
๐ ๐ก๐๐๐ง’๐ญ ๐๐ก๐๐ง๐ ๐๐, ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐ง๐๐ฐ ๐ฅ๐๐๐๐ฅ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฌ๐๐๐ฆ๐๐ ๐ ๐ก๐๐ ๐๐ก๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐ฒ๐๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ฒ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐๐ฅ๐ฌ๐!ย ๐
๐๐ข๐ด ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ด๐ข๐ช๐ฅ ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ข๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ธ ๐ธ๐ข๐ด๐ฏ’๐ต ๐ต๐ณ๐ถ๐ฆ? ๐๐ช๐ฅ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ง๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ญ ๐ญ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ซ๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ซ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ฑ ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ง๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ด๐ข๐บ: “๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ช๐ด ๐ข๐ฃ๐ด๐ฐ๐ญ๐ถ๐ต๐ฆ๐ญ๐บ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐!”ย ๐คฌ
Well, with my new label I was constantly reminded about my new-given identity: what I couldn’t do, what my limitations were, and what struggles I’d have the rest of my life. Essentially, who I was could now be entirely summarized upon a set of pathological descriptions out of a diagnostic book!ย ๐
๐๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐ฆ! ๐จ
In psychology, the term is referred to as a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy. In sociology, it’s referred to as the Labeling Theory. To put it simply: ๐๐ง ๐ข ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฅ๐ด ๐ข ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ช๐ฆ๐ง ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ช๐ณ ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ข๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ด๐ฆ’๐ด ๐ง๐ถ๐ต๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐น๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ค๐ต๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด, ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ธ๐ช๐ญ๐ญ ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด๐ค๐ช๐ฐ๐ถ๐ด๐ญ๐บ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ช๐ฏ๐ง๐ญ๐ถ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ค๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ช๐ฏ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ง๐ถ๐ญ๐ง๐ช๐ญ๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐น๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ค๐ต๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด.ย ๐ค
For example, if a parent holds a child to very low expectations the odds are very likely the child won’t ever go past the expectations the parent set for them. They will only achieve the most minimal, the expectations set by the parent.ย ๐ฒ
๐ฆ๐ข ๐๐ข๐ฅ ๐ ๐๐ข๐ก๐ ๐ง๐๐ ๐ ๐ ๐จ๐ฆ๐ ๐ง๐ข ๐๐๐ง ๐ข๐ง๐๐๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐ง๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ข๐ช ๐ ๐ช๐๐ฆ ๐๐ข๐๐ก๐ ๐ง๐ข ๐๐๐ฉ๐ ๐ ๐ฌ ๐๐๐๐…๐
But then at one point I finally decided I was going on my own path. These past few years I’ve continually learned that everything starts with Me: ๐ ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ญ๐๐ค๐ ๐๐จ๐ง๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฅ ๐จ๐ฏ๐๐ซ ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐ฅ๐ข๐๐, ๐ก๐จ๐ฐ ๐ ๐๐ก๐จ๐จ๐ฌ๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฌ๐๐ ๐ข๐ญ, ๐๐ง๐ ๐ก๐จ๐ฐ ๐’๐ฆ ๐ ๐จ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฏ๐ ๐ข๐ญ. ๐๐ญ๐ก๐๐ซ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฌ๐, ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐๐จ๐ง๐ ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐๐จ๐ง๐ ๐๐ฅ๐ฌ๐’๐ฌ ๐๐ฑ๐ฉ๐๐๐ญ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ฆ๐.ย ๐
๐ย Dale Carnegie explained it in his principles on How to Win Friends and Influence People.
๐ย Stephen Covey showed it with the Habit of Being Proactive.
๐ย The Stoics taught it through their principles of self-control.
๐ย The Existentialists shared it through the creation of meanings.
๐ย Individuals like Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. excelled at it by example.
It’s the power of helping OURSELVES FIRST before we start trying to help the rest of the world. It’s about taking CONTROL over our emotions rather than letting them and our environment control us. It’s about living our lives for a PURPOSE greater than just ourselves. It’s about a “dream”, a vision of a greater future for all of humanity. ๐ฅ
๐๐จ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ข๐ฆ๐ฉ๐จ๐ซ๐ญ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ฅ๐ฒ, ๐ข๐ญ’๐ฌ ๐๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐. ๐
What I’ve come to realize again and again is that my past does not have to equal the future. I’ve realized I am more capable than what any label or diagnosis will dictate about me.ย ๐
๐๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ต๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ข ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ข๐ญ๐ช๐ต๐บ ๐ต๐ฆ๐ด๐ต ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ช๐ต ๐จ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ข ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด๐ถ๐ญ๐ต ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ๐ต๐ฆ๐ฅ๐ญ๐บ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ช๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ช๐ฏ? “๐๐ฐ๐ฏ๐จ๐ณ๐ข๐ต๐ด, ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ’๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ ๐๐๐๐!” ๐
๐๐ก๐ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฌ๐ ๐ญ๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฒ ๐๐๐ง ๐ญ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ก๐จ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐๐ซ๐ ๐๐๐. ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฒ ๐๐จ๐ง’๐ญ ๐ญ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ก๐จ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ’๐ซ๐ ๐ ๐จ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ง๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ฌ๐๐ซ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐๐ ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐. ๐
We can change! We can mentally evolve! Autism may be a part of who I am now, but that doesn’t mean it will ever be my final destination!ย ๐ฃ๏ธ
๐๐ฎ๐ญ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐๐ง ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐! ๐
I ultimately will define Me, not someone else, not a test, and definitely not a set of diagnostic criteria. I mean, I can choose to keep a fixed identity for the rest of my life…nah!ย ๐
So these past few years I’ve been on a mission to Transcend Labels. My intention is to show the world what’s possible, to show others the importance of looking beneath the surface, past the labels, past the stereotypes, and to see each other for the common humanity we all possess.ย ๐ฅ
I see lasting change in the world happening through the individual from the inside-out, not the outside-in. I believe that the better we can be for ourselves, the better we can be for others.ย ๐
Gandhi said: “Be the change you wish to see in the world”. Everyone has an opinion, but there are fewer people out there setting the example. Will you join me?!ย ๐
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I hope this resonates with you! If it does, I would really appreciate if you could share this someone you believe would also benefit from this message! If there are any additional areas I can add value to your life as well as in the LinkedIn community, please let me know!ย ๐
My areas of expertise include:
๐ย Detail-oriented, Thoroughness
๐ย Quality-over-quantity Focused
๐ย Analytical, Systemic, Bottom-Up Thinking
๐ย Emotional intelligence (plus 10 years in Customer Service)
๐ย Social media, Building Engagement
With gratitude,
Donald “Ace” Arteagaย โค๏ธ
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