How AUTISM Helped Me DEFY the Odds! (PERSONAL)

Featured ~ Donald "Nugget" Arteaga ~ Leave a comment

😲 I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH AUTISM!!! 😲

I use to consider myself a very introverted person, very shy, and very set in my own closed routines. I was more of a thinker than a doer and more a dreamer than a leader. Can you relate to that? If not, can you think of someone in your life who was like that? 🤔

Being diagnosed with Autism in 7th grade was probably the starting point for me, the point where I confirmed these ideas to myself about who I was: something was ‘wrong’ in my brain. 🧠 “I have Autism. It explains why I feel the way I feel. It’s just something that’s a part of me; I can’t change it.” 🤷‍♂️

But even at the time I remember feeling like I didn’t want to be labeled like this. I saw the label before me with all its negativity, a label I needed to object and rebel from. 👊 I saw the stigmas of this label becoming my reality, and once I started seeing it reflected in other people’s behaviors towards me it frightened me to the core! 😨

I have vivid memories from school where I refused to accept new accommodations because of the new label. I was now being offered additional time on tests, opportunities to leave class to ‘cool down’, and every single time I refused. I was being treated differently. I hadn’t changed, but with my new label I had changed in the eyes of everyone else. 😟 Has someone ever said something about you that you knew wasn’t true? Did you ever feel like you just wanted to jump on the defense and say: “That is absolutely NOT TRUE!” 🤬

With my new label I was constantly reminded about my new-given identity: what I couldn’t do, what my limitations were, and what struggles I’d have the rest of my life. 🔮 Very little was I ever reminded about all my current strengths or what I could do. It was mostly the echoes from a set of diagnostic criteria. 📖

In psychology, the term is referred to as a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy. In sociology, it’s referred to as the Labeling Theory. To put it simply: If a person holds a belief in their mind about someone else’s future expectations, the person will unconsciously help in influencing the other person into fulfilling those expectations. 🤔

So for example, if a parent holds a child to very low expectations the odds are very likely the child won’t ever go past the ones the parent already set for them. They will only achieve the most minimal, the expectations set by the parent. 😲

SO FOR A LONG TIME I USE TO LET OTHERS DICTATE HOW I WAS GOING TO LIVE MY LIFE…😔

But then at one point I finally decided I was going on my own path. These past few years I’ve learned that everything starts with Me: I must take control of my life, how I choose to see it, and how I’m going to live it. 👍

📌 Dale Carnegie explained it through his principles to Win Friends and Influence People.

📌 Stephen Covey said it with his Habit of Being Proactive.

📌 The Stoics taught it through their principles of self-control.

📌 The Existentialists shared it through the creation of meanings.

📌 Individuals like Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. excelled it through their example.

It’s the power of helping OURSELVES FIRST before we start trying to help the rest of the world. It’s about taking CONTROL over our emotions rather than letting them and our environment control us. It’s about living our lives for a PURPOSE greater than just ourselves. It’s about a “dream”, a vision of a greater future for all of humanity. Most importantly, it’s about YOU DEFINING YOUR LIFE. 🌎

What I’ve come to realize again and again is that my past does not have to equal the future. I’ve realized I am more capable than what any label or diagnosis will dictate. 🙌

Have you ever taken a personality test and it gave you a result you wholeheartedly believed in? “Congrats, you’re an INFJ!” The problem with these tests is they can tell you who you are NOW. But they don’t tell you who you’ll necessarily be in the FUTURE. We can change as well as mentally evolve. It’s a part of who I may be now, but it’s not the final destination! 🛣️

I’ve realized that I ultimately will define Me, not someone else, not a test, and not a set of diagnostic criteria. Otherwise I keep a fixed identity for the rest of my life…nah! 😉

So this year I’ve been on a mission to Transcend Labels. I am showing the world what’s possible, to show others how to look beneath the surface, past the labels, past the stereotypes, and to see each other for who we all are. 👥

I truly believe when we do this we’ll start seeing the humanity within each other, see each other as human beings, and see that we are all more alike than we like to believe. With that not only comes greater understanding for our neighbors but most importantly an unconditional love, because the realization comes: “That person is also Me.” ❤️

I see lasting change in the world happening through the individual from the inside-out, not the outside-in. I believe that the better we can be for ourselves, the better we can be for others. 🌎

Gandhi said: “Be the change you wish to see in the world”. Everyone has an opinion, but there are fewer people out there who ever set the example. Will we be the next examples?! 👌

I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH AUTISM; AN EXPLANATION, BUT NOT THE DESTINATION!  💪

I hope this resonates with many of you. I would appreciate it if you could share this post with others, whoever you believe will also benefit from these words. If there are any additional areas I can add value to your life as well as in the blogging community, please let me know! 🙂

My areas of expertise include:

👍 Detail-oriented, Thoroughness

👍 Quality-over-quantity Focused

👍 Analytical, Systemic Thinking

👍 Emotional intelligence (plus 10 years in Customer Service)

👍 Social media, Building Engagement

 

With lots of gratitude,

Donald “Ace” Arteaga ❤️

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Why Your Mind is a GARDEN!

~ Donald "Nugget" Arteaga ~ Leave a comment

Have you ever found yourself focusing on a situation that was NOT making you happy? 🤔

One negative thought after another, you started to feel more and more crappy. 😡

But you didn’t think of changing the thoughts in your mind. 😲

There’s a reason Jim Rohn said: “Every day, stand guard at the door of your mind.” 💬

Your mind is like a garden. Whatever seeds you plant they will expand in your daily thoughts. 🎍

What seeds are you planting regularly? Seeds of Problems? Seeds of Solutions? Seeds of Gratitude? Seeds of Anger? 🌱

The problem is when we think we aren’t in control of our minds. We are, just not in the way we might think. 😲

What’s out of our control is the thoughts that cross our minds. No doubt. But what’s in our control is our choice to attach and respond to these thoughts. You start to realize this when you do practices like meditation. You are more in control that you think. 🧘‍♂️

🌟 Control your mind or your mind controls you. 🌟

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How to STOP Beating Yourself Up!

~ Donald "Nugget" Arteaga ~ Leave a comment

🛑 STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP! 🛑

There’s a voice inside of you that no matter how hard you work, no matter how hard you try, it’s ready to tell you what’s missing from your life. 🗣️

There’s a voice inside you that no matter how much you believe you’re doing well, it comes knocking at your mental home to challenge you, to instill some form of doubt:

“Are you SURE you’re doing enough?” 💭

“Do you REALLY believe everything you say you are is true?” 💭

“Do you TRULY deserve what you have been given?” 💭

I’ve felt this in me before, multiple times in fact! You are not alone! 👥

There’s the psychological term “imposter syndrome”. It’s the tendency for us believe our achievements pale in comparison to what we feel we’ve actually done.

To put it another way, we don’t feel the status, success, or fame we’ve received in our lives is equal to our own feelings of self-worth. In our minds it doesn’t feel “deserved”. And we have this irrational fear we’re ultimately going to be exposed for the “fraud” the voice inside us says we are. ☝️

Would it surprise you to hear even the most famous individuals have experienced these feelings before? Individuals like Tina Fey, Maya Angelou, Tom Hanks, Anthony Hopkins, and even Meryl Streep have openly expressed feelings like this. 😱

You wouldn’t expect to hear that coming from a celebrity, right? Despite all their wealth, awards, and recognition they’ve received, there’s a voice inside them too that doubts whether they deserve what they’ve been given. 👍

This feeling is universal. You are not alone! 👥

What’s easy to forget in certain moments of our lives is all the achievements and impact we’ve made on the world. When this little voice starts to appear in your head, it’s a sign it’s time for an expansion in perspective. 🤯

I’m not saying we’re all going to be celebrities or are following the same path as these individuals. What I’m saying is these feelings of self-doubt are all too common, these feelings of inadequacy and not being enough just where we are. But there are solutions. 😁

A character from the film “Before Sunset” may have summed up the human condition quite well: “I feel like I’m designed to be slightly dissatisfied with everything.” Can you relate? 😅

This past 2 years has truly been a journey: ups, downs, lefts, rights, zig-zags, and any way the Wonkavator is going. Even now, being almost 2 years since I made big changes in my life, I still have heard this voice come up from time to time. It creeps up when you least expect it, too. As I write this, I can already hear the echoes of this voice in my head. 🗣️

But I have a solution for this voice as well as the ones in your own head. 💡

📍 Disconnect yourself from these voices. These voices are not You or Me. These are voices rooted in Fear: voices from toxic people in your past, voices from destructive opinions said about you, voices which are no longer serving you today or tomorrow. It’s time to let them go.

📍 Unconditionally accept yourself wherever you are right now. The past, literally, no longer exists! It’s only being carried in your head now. The problem is we often carry the negative parts of our past into our future. So let’s instead take what’s most useful from our pasts into the future.

📍 Reflect on all your achievements, all the moments in your life you can be grateful for. These voices of self-doubt are temporary, especially when you reflect on all the achievements and long-term impact you’ve made on the world. Remind yourself that everything you’ve done in your life has had an effect. It’s the same reason why an act of kindness can have a ripple effect.

📍 Remember WHY you’re doing what you’re doing. You are where you are today for a reason. Something might have pulled you here, something might have pushed you here, but either way you’re here for one reason or another. And when you have strong enough emotional reasons in your mind to be where you are today, your self-doubts will easily start to disintegrate. If you can’t think of strong reasons, create some new ones!

Writing this post was in its very own way cathartic for myself. As much as there have been times I’ve heard this voice of self-doubt, I remember all the amazing things I’ve done in my past that have shaped me into the person penning this very post. 🙌

This is a moment in time I won’t ever get back. None of us will, not even you reading this very post. What we do with this time is what matters. ☺️

Don’t beat yourself up. It’s not worth it to your future self. You’re not alone; I’ve felt it before too. But the key is reminding ourselves that these voices of doubt are not here to stay; they are coming to pass. 😊

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Why Patience is NOT a Virtue!

~ Donald "Nugget" Arteaga ~ Leave a comment

🙌 PATIENCE IS NOT A VIRTUE! 🙌

One thing I’ve learned is a lot of people don’t have patience. 😲

We’d rather have the quick fix. We’d rather choose the fastest solution. We’d rather get things done sooner than later. 💨

And that is absolutely crucial when applying it to our modern day technology. We do need those skills! The problem is when we carry these same standards into our interactions with other people. 👥

I’ve been told by quite a few people I have a lot of patience. I’ll let someone talk for a long period of time. I’ll give someone extra time to work through a problem in their mind. I’ll let someone know through my presence their concerns matter to me. ❤️

But what surprises me the most is that this patience is not commonplace. You’ve heard the term “patience is a virtue” right?! ✍️

So how do I have it so easily? It’s simple: I think if I were in the same position as them, I’d appreciate the same treatment towards me. ↔️

If you’re not patient with others, the odds are likely you are not patient with yourself. How you treat others is also a reflection on how you treat yourself. 👤

There are people working through far bigger problems in their lives than I’ve ever had to deal with. And the biggest gift I can offer a person is my time and patience. It’s not to say I don’t at times get impatient, but that I remind myself why I give it. 🎁

There’s someone I love dearly in my family who currently suffers from dementia. The #1 thing she says to me and with much gratefulness is: “Thank you for being so patient with me.” 🗣️

It tears me up to think how many others in our world feel insignificant because others won’t simply give them the time and patience when they’re doing their very best with the resources they have to work through a problem. 😢

We wouldn’t give a baby a limited amount of time and patience to learn how to walk. We wouldn’t throw in the towel and say: “This baby is hopeless! I got more important things to do!” 🤬

So why do we give this limited time to others? ⌛

One is because of our expectations about other people. For a baby, we expect walking for them will be a learning process. We expect they will poop in their diapers. We expect they will need to be spoon fed. We expect they will need a lot of time and patience. 🐣

But as we get older, we raise our expectations on how others “should” be. ♾

📍 “They should already know how to do this!”

📍 “They should know better!”

📍 “They should have high standards for their life!”

📍 “They should be just like who I am!”

There was a moment this weekend that tested my expectations. 📆

I had the privilege to serve a dozen kids as they experienced their very first Unleash the Power Within event. They all came from different locations, backgrounds, and lifestyles. 🌎

This weekend I learned a very valuable lesson from every of them. I learned I came into the group with far more expectations about where these kids “should” be in their personal development than I knew! 😲

Some of them had already dipped their toe in the water. But others were stepping in for the very first time. These ideas were brand new to them. And I was expecting too much of what they “should” know. 😔

But you cannot expect someone to learn Calculus when they’ve never learned Algebra. It has to be taken in steps. And as passionate as I am about personal development, I was challenged this weekend to remind myself how little I knew when I first attended the event myself. We all learn in different ways and at different paces. 👍

All the kids were beautiful souls who I know will go far in their lives. There’s a part of me that woke up this Monday morning and remembered I’m not going to the venue to reconnect with them. A part of me will miss that. 🙌

But I told them before I left them all yesterday: “Keep these memories here close. They are with you now wherever you go.” ❤️

If we are to get along with each other, patience is not a virtue.

🙌 PATIENCE IS NOT A VIRTUE! IT’S A NECESSITY! 🙌

Building this skill has become one of the most rewarding experiences for my life. 👍

You’ll connect with people on a deeper level. You’ll see parts of yourself in them. You’ll remember we’re all only human and we’re all still learning. 😊

🌟 Remember to meet people where they are at, not where you want them to be. 🌟

Because where there’s patience there’s also time for understanding. ❤️#EudaimonicLife

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Why Change Is POSSIBLE! (PERSONAL)

~ Donald "Nugget" Arteaga ~ Leave a comment

😱 4 YEARS!!! 😱

This afternoon I took a look at my calendar 📆 and my eyes started to water.😭 I couldn’t believe it! 2 weeks from now it will have been 4 years. 🥳

It’s hard for me to still fathom it’s really been that long! 🤯

The song “Seasons of Love” asks: ‘How do you measure a year?’ 🎶 But my mind is still trying to wrap around how to measure the past 4! 😅

🗣️ “What are you talking about Donald?!” 🗣️

I should probably explain! 2 weeks from now it will have been exactly 4 years…🔎

…since I was under 25. 😱 I was so young then, but 4 years later I’m now just a grumpy old man! 😭

🤣 JUST KIDDING!!! 🤣

Seriously though, 4 years ago I was That Guy on the left in the photo.

📌 4 years ago I was That Guy who binged on junk food every day.

📌 4 years ago I was That Guy who drank 3 to 4 cans of soda every day.

📌 4 years ago I was That Guy who refused even substituting his drinks for Diet Soda.

📌 4 years ago I was That Guy who was so picky about eating vegetables he’d literally gag trying to swallow them because of his fear of textures.

And where did this inability to change bring That Guy? 🤔

To weigh over 234 pounds. ⚖️ To have junk food and soda as his addictions and closest companions. To feel tired and sleepy more often than not. 😴 To never like being in photos because of the way he looked. To always feel the need to lift his chin up so his double chin didn’t show. 😔

That Guy really didn’t like how he looked or how unhealthy he ate. But regardless, him holding onto his comfort zone outweighed any inspiration to try and be thinner or be happier. 🤷‍♂️

If any of you can read this and relate, you’re not alone! ❤️

I don’t necessarily mean with weight but with our general unwillingness to change things in our lives a small part of us really wants to change. While there’s that part of us that really wants to change, we nevertheless don’t change. 😕

🚬 You know quitting smoking would benefit your lung health. But you don’t.

🍔 You know eating less junk food and more vegetables would help you lose weight. But you don’t.

🚴 You know exercising would help keep your muscles strong. But you don’t.

But why? Why don’t we change? If it’s really as simple as doing or not doing something, then why don’t we do it?! 😵

Because we as humans…are complicated! 😅

For one thing, we are creatures of habit. It’s easier for us to break an old habit than it is to build a new one. 👍 You’ve probably heard the term: “Old habits die hard.” It’s very true, and I’ve experienced it before too! 😝

Building a new habit requires a lot of focus. 👀 It requires consistent effort. Until it becomes a full on habit in your daily life, it’s going to continue feeling difficult. 😓

But don’t be too hard on yourself either! Think of it like this: say you’ve smoked for a decade and then decide to quit. 🚭 You will then be faced with a smoking habit decades old all while you’re building the new habit to not smoke. Of course this won’t be easy! It’s an uphill battle with your Habitual Brain! 😊

As much as I’d love to tell you new habits are built overnight, they aren’t. 👎It’s why most people don’t succeed doing it. If building a new habit was so easy to build, everybody would do it! 👍

But again, you’re not alone! ❤️ That Guy in the photo wasn’t willing to either! Sure, he wanted to be thinner and healthier, but why would he substitute that for all the short-term pleasures he experienced from junk food and soda? 🤷‍♂️

He even told himself: “I don’t have to worry about my health until the doctor says I have to.” 😱

So what happened 4 years ago that set That Guy down a path into who is now, Me present day? 🤔

🌟 His desire to change had to become stronger than his desire not to change. 🌟

⚠️ The problem was That Guy was always focused on his short-term pleasure; he was not focused on the long-term pain.

⚠️ He was focused on the pleasures of junk food and soda; he was not focused on the long-term medical issues he’d have because of them.

⚠️ He was focused on himself; he was not focused on the people who were trying to help him and whose advice he kept ignoring.

So when That Guy saw the path he was heading down for years to come, it planted a Seed of Horror in his mind that he had to change NOW! 🛑

Like Scrooge in “A Christmas Carol”, it was his vision of a horrific future which pushed That Guy to say: “Enough is enough!” ❌…

So here I am now, after 80 pounds lost, a No Soda policy, and many vegetables consumed! 🥦 That Guy has evolved into Me on the right. I like to call him Ace. Ace has since let That Guy retire, because now Ace likes running the show! 😎

So there’s something you really need to know! ✋

👍 I’m not going to pretend like this physical transformation happened overnight. It didn’t.

👍 I’m not going to put on an act like it was the easiest thing to do in the world. It wasn’t.

👍 I’m not going to try and make you believe I never zig-zagged during my transformation. I did…many times!

But what I will tell you though is that it is indeed possible for you to change when you set your mind to it. ❤️

One of my favorite speakers Les Brown talks about the Power of Possibility: “Sometimes we can’t say ‘I can do that’. But what we can say is that ‘it’s possible’.” 🗣️

🌟 If you can allow yourself to visualize the possibility of a future greater than the one you’re living now, you’ve already provided an opening for yourself to step forward. 🌟

So with this post I want to plant the seed in your mind that it is possible for you too, in whatever it is you’re looking to change! 😄

I’m not saying it will be easy. I’m not saying it will always be fun. But when you have doubts come up, remind yourself why you started in the first place. 🤔

👤 Do something today your future self will thank you for. 👤

Lastly, I have to give credit to the most powerful visual exercise I ever experienced which sealed the deal for me to change all those 4 years ago. 👍

It was attending Tony Robbins’s “Unleash the Power Within” event for the first time that I experienced what is known as the Dickens Process. 😲

I’d love to tell you more, but I’d rather you experienced the event for yourself without spoilers. I can tell you how a candy bar tastes, but it’s a whole other thing to actually taste it. 🍫

I’m not saying attending the event is your only tool, only that it’s a damn fine one in your Arsenal for Change if you do! It was for me! ❤️

COMMENT below if you’ve attended UPW before or are interested in attending! 😁

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