You’re about to meet a group of potentially new friends. You know you really want to make a good first impression on them. ๐ฏ
But in overthinking “how” you’re going to impress them, fear starts setting in.ย ๐จ
“๐ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ’๐ต ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ถ๐ฑ! ๐ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐บ ๐ญ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ฆ!”ย ๐ฃ๏ธ
And then the time comes…and your “how” gets thrown right out the window!
Instead of doing anything you thought you were going to do, you instead spend the majority of time just nodding and agreeing with these new people. But the fact is, you have nothing in common with these people! ๐จ
And what happens when you repeat a cycle like this in your everyday life? What happens when every time you meet someone new there’s a part of you that constantly demands you pretend to be someone you’re not in order to be accepted?ย ๐
On the one hand, when you do this most of the people you meet will probably like you. But on the other hand…you’re constantly going to feel like crap!ย ๐
Why?
๐ ๐๐ก๐๐ฌ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐จ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ ๐ง๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ ๐๐จ๐ง๐ง๐๐๐ญ๐๐ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐ฅ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ; ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฒ ๐๐จ๐ง๐ง๐๐๐ญ๐๐ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ฌ๐ค ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฉ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐จ๐ง ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฆ. ๐
After enough times, all that energy required to keep putting on a mask again and again is exhausting! To put it another way, being a people pleaser is a full-time job!
If you can relate to this feeling, you’re not alone. I used to be a HUGE people pleaser when I was younger. And, I admit, it’s also still a work-in-progress at times too! ๐
But why? Why do we try so hard to please other people?
๐ย We’re afraid of being rejected.
๐ย We’re insecure with our own sense of self.
๐ย We’re craving for a connection with someone, anyone.
We all want to fit in, to be accepted, to feel loved. These are natural human tendencies; who doesn’t want that?!ย ๐
The problem though is people-pleasing is NOT the solution to this. In the short term you may win a lot of people over, but in the long term you’re setting yourself up for a lot of needless pain.
๐ย Needing everyone to like you guarantees your self-worth will always be at the mercy of others.ย ๐
Instead, develop this same self-worth within yourself, one that’s no longer dependent on others. Take time to figure out who you areย genuinely. Takes off all the masks and begin to “know thyself” better.
This will require effort, as with developing any new habit, but I can assure you: it’s much harder to do this when you’re constantly surrounding yourself with others.
Develop a relationship with yourself first, and eventually you will find people who appreciate you for You and not your mask. You’re worth it!ย โค๏ธ
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Great post ๐
I appreciate it! ๐
educative and informative post