How to STOP Beating Yourself Up!

🛑 STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP! 🛑

There’s a voice inside of you that no matter how hard you work, no matter how hard you try, it’s ready to tell you what’s missing from your life. 🗣️

There’s a voice inside you that no matter how much you believe you’re doing well, it comes knocking at your mental home to challenge you, to instill some form of doubt:

Are you SURE you’re doing enough?” 💭

Do you REALLY believe everything you say you are is true?” 💭

Do you TRULY deserve what you have been given?” 💭

I’ve felt this in me before, multiple times in fact! You are not alone! 👥

There’s the psychology term “imposter syndrome“. It’s the tendency to believe our achievements pale in comparison to what we feel we’ve actually done.

To put it another way, we don’t feel the status, success, or fame we’ve received in our lives is equal to our own feelings of self-worth. In our minds it doesn’t feel “deserved“. And we have this fear we’re ultimately going to be exposed for the “fraud” the voice inside us says we are. ☝️

Would it surprise you to hear even the most famous individuals have experienced Imposter Syndrome? Individuals like Tina Fey, Maya Angelou, Tom Hanks, Anthony Hopkins, and even Meryl Streep have openly expressed feeling like this! 😱

You wouldn’t expect to hear that coming from a celebrity, right? Despite all the wealth, awards, and recognition they’ve received, there’s a voice inside them too that doubts whether they deserve what they’ve been given. 👍

My point? This feeling is universal. 👥

What’s easy to forget in certain moments of our lives is all the achievements and impact we’ve made on the world. And when this little voice starts to appear in your head, it’s a sign it’s time to embrace a bigger perspective. 🤯

I’m not saying we’re all going to be celebrities or are following the same path as these individuals. What I’m saying is these feelings of self-doubt are all too common, these feelings of inadequacy, and not being enough just where we are. 🙌

A character from the film “Before Sunset” may have summed up the human condition quite well: “I feel like I’m designed to be slightly dissatisfied with everything.” Can you relate? 😅

But, there are solutions. 😁

These past 2 years have truly been a journey: ups, downs, lefts, rights, zig-zags, and any way the Wonkavator is going! Even now, being almost 2 years since I made big changes in my life, I still have hear this voice pop up from time to time. It creeps up when you least expect it, too. As I write this, I can already hear the echoes of this voice in my head! 🗣️

But, I have a solution for this voice as well as the ones in your own head. 💡

📍 Disconnect yourself from these voices. These voices are not You or Me. These are voices rooted in Fear: voices from toxic people in your past, voices from destructive opinions said about you, voices which are no longer serving you today or tomorrow. It’s time to let them go.

📍 Unconditionally accept wherever you are right now. The past, literally, no longer exists. It’s only being carried in your head now. The problem is we often carry the negative parts of our past into our future. So let’s take what’s most useful from our pasts instead.

📍 Reflect on all your achievements, all the moments in your life you can be grateful for. These voices of self-doubt are temporary, especially when you reflect on all the achievements and impact you’ve made on the world. Remind yourself that everything you’ve done in your life has had an effect.

📍 Remember WHY you’re doing what you’re doing. You are where you are today for a reason. Something might have pulled you here, something might have pushed you here, but either way you’re here for one reason or another. And when you have strong enough emotional reasons in your mind to be where you are today, your self-doubts will easily start to dissolve. And if you can’t think of strong reasons, create new ones!

Writing this post was in its very own way cathartic for me. As much as there has been times I’ve heard this voice of self-doubt, I remember all the things I’ve accomplished that has shaped me into the person writing this post. 🙌

This is a moment in time I won’t ever get back. None of us will, not even you reading this post. What we do with this time is what matters. ☺️

Don’t beat yourself up. It’s not worth it to your Future Self. You’re not alone; I’ve felt it before too. But the key is reminding ourselves that these voices of doubt are not here to stay; they are coming to pass. 😊

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