Social Media: Why It’s OKAY to Not Be Okay! ❤️

❤️ 𝐈𝐓’𝐒 𝐎𝐊𝐀𝐘 𝐓𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐁𝐄 𝐎𝐊𝐀𝐘!!! ❤️

…Well, except on social media where being flawless and sharing only your successes helps you gain social capital with followers! 😉

📢 “SIGNIFICANCE, GET YOUR SIGNIFICANCE HERE 🎯!

ONLY COSTS:

– 1 AESTHETICALLY PLEASING MODELING PHOTO! 🖼️

– 1 ARBITRARY MOTIVATIONAL CAPTION! 🔠

– 1 LIST OF ALL THE ACHIEVEMENTS YOU’RE CURRENTLY MAKING! 📜

– 5,000 FACEBOOK FRIENDS YOU’VE NEVER MET! 🤷‍♂️

– AND LOTS AND LOTS OF EMOJIS!!! 😅❤️💯📚😱🤖🐈🤪!” 📢

Okay, but serious talk now! ✋

I’m guilty of doing many of these too! I mean, who DOESN’T want to feel appreciated and validated in their lives? I do! 🤗

Even if there’s someone who claims they don’t want any form of Significance, I can guarantee you in one form of another they still do. 👍

In fact, they may even be getting their Significance need met by ACTING like they don’t need Significance! 😅

As William James put it: “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” 👤

So yes, we all want some Significance! But the difference is in how each of us prioritizes this need in our lives. ⚖️

If Significance is at the top of our list, we’ll make it a mental priority to find ways to continuously be in the spotlight. 🥇

Regardless of what we say or do, whether we play the Victim or Victor Card, our primary motivations are going to be aimed at being the center of attention! 📸

(ENTER SOCIAL MEDIA TO HELP SOLVE THIS FIRST-WORLD PROBLEM!) 😉

However, if our Significance need is near the bottom of our list, we won’t mind remaining in the background. Our primary motivation is not about “being seen”. It may still feel nice, but it’s not a priority. 🤷‍♂️

(There’s a strong possibility you may NOT even be on social media! 🤣)

❤️ 𝐈𝐓’𝐒 𝐎𝐊𝐀𝐘 𝐓𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐁𝐄 𝐎𝐊𝐀𝐘!!! ❤️

Alas, I have fallen into these same traps online that I’m openly criticizing here 🙋‍♂️.

I DO like to prioritize sharing the positives on my profile. 👍

I DO like to display more of my successes than my failures to a public audience. 👍

I think it’s quite easy for all of us to do this on a platform where we’re 100% in control of what we’re able to share with others. 💯

On a platform which can provide Significance to us on a global scale, why would anyone be inclined to share their flaws, to share the not-too-sexy details of their lives? There’s a safe bet it wouldn’t benefit us socially, right? 👎

So instead, we’ve each created artificial versions of ourselves online, some more honest than others, and some not even real at all! 🤖

Take the social media profiles where you can no longer distinguish whether the person you’re messaging is actually a person or just someone using their profile for their business and you are their future prospect. 🤑

I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that, only that it can be quite confusing! Am I actually talking candidly with another person online? Or am I talking with a business that just so happens to also be a person? 🤔

Or is it both?! 🤯

Unfortunately, we each are limited to the online profiles with which we’re presented with 💻.

🚘 It doesn’t matter if a person is actually rich; they can pose next to a sports car and give the impression that they are.

🙌 It doesn’t matter if a person is actually generous; they can take a photo at a charity event and give lip service to the idea that they are.

👤 It doesn’t matter if a person is actually the person they claim to be; they can present you with any limited segments of their life that only reinforce these claims.

I never thought I’d be quoting the Upanishads but…”We are like the dreamer who dreams and then lives inside the dream.” 💭

And again, I’ve done it too! I’m no saint here! 🤣

❤️ 𝐈𝐓’𝐒 𝐎𝐊𝐀𝐘 𝐓𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐁𝐄 𝐎𝐊𝐀𝐘!!! ❤️

So while in real life we’re limited to how we know others, it’s not at all to the same extent online. Online, we’re required to fill in far more details and holes about other people, compared to talking directly with a person face-to-face. 👫

➡️ 𝐖𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧’𝐭 𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬, 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐲, 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐩 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬, 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞’𝐬 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐞. ⬅️

👏 “DONALD! 👏 SIGNIFICANCE! 👏 SOCIAL MEDIA! 👏 RELATIONSHIPS! 👏 WHAT’S 👏 YOUR 👏 POINT?!” 👏

My point is the quote I’ve repeated 3 times and will now repeat for a 4th time…😅

❤️ 𝐈𝐓’𝐒 𝐎𝐊𝐀𝐘 𝐓𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐁𝐄 𝐎𝐊𝐀𝐘!!! ❤️

Once we’ve logged off our social medias, quit out of our videogames, turned off our TVs, closed our books, and awoke from our fantasy worlds, what is left?

𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬.

📍 We’re faced once again with the reality we’re still fundamentally unhappy.

📍 We’re faced once again with the reality that life still has down moments, and there’s no edit button as there is online.

📍 We’re faced once again with the reality that life can be VERY HARD at times.

Online, it’s very easy to see our friends and compare ourselves to them. It was a big problem for me too! I saw where my friends were traveling, I saw how happy they looked, I saw them sharing all the achievements they made…and it made me wonder: “𝘐𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘦?” 😔

𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐭. 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞’𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐰𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞.

So, before this paradigm negatively affects another person, I write this status to BREAK it! 💥

🚨 𝐒𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐢𝐬 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞!

🚨 𝐍𝐎 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞 𝟏𝟎𝟎% 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 (𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐞)!

🚨 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞! 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦, 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐩𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐭 (𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧, 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨)!

🚨 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐍𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐮𝐩𝐨𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬! 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥!

Last, and most importantly:

❤️ 𝐈𝐓’𝐒 𝐎𝐊𝐀𝐘 𝐓𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐁𝐄 𝐎𝐊𝐀𝐘!!! ❤️

I say this because your emotions will ALWAYS be a part of your life. I give you FULL PERMISSION to accept whatever it is you’re currently feeling! 💯

If meditation has taught me anything, it’s that acceptance of whatever you’re feeling is the 1st step to effectively working with your emotions. But I’ll save those details for another post…🧘‍♂️

I admit, at times I can feel conflicted when I make a post online. While I aim to keep my social media “real”, I also acknowledge I may at the same time be contributing to the very problems I criticize. An eye for an eye! 👀

But, if what I post is worth anything, it’s that at least 1 person reads it and says: “I’m glad I read this today!” ❤️

And for the many that use social media mindlessly I ask you: what if we collectively starting using it as a Force for Good? ✊

I think of Fred Rogers, who wasn’t fond of the mindless entertainment kids were getting on TV, so he decided to use the platform to entertain AND teach life lessons. How many of you also fondly remember “Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood”? 🙋‍♂️

No, I’m not saying we all need to be Mr. Rogers for Social Media! 😅

What I am saying is what if we all started using this platform for something more meaningful, more heartfelt, and a bit less for Significance and Sales? I really wonder how much of a difference we could make! 🌎

Even behind a computer screen, we still have the potential to be an example to inspire others to become better people. Mr. Rogers did, and he was behind a television screen. 😉

And it all starts with your next post…❤️

Lastly, for those that don’t care to read this lengthy post, I don’t blame you! 😅

On a social media platform where visuals and clickbait are primary drivers to grab people’s attention, here’s an aesthetically pleasing modeling photo for you to enjoy instead! 😜

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