The #1 Valentine You CAN’T Forget!

❤️ YOUR MOST IMPORTANT VALENTINE!!! ❤️

What does today’s holiday mean to you?

💓 A time to share love with the people in your life?!

💘 A day to spend time with your significant other?!

💔 A holiday to remind you of the fact you’re “still single” and really need to be in a relationship?!

If your answer is #3, this message is especially for you. But this message is also for everyone! For all my single friends out there, me being a single man myself: I encourage you today not to fret! 😁

What if I told you, at age 28, I’ve NEVER been in a relationship…😱?!

“BLASPHEMY!!!” ❌

But when I was in high school, I was DESPERATELY searching for one! 🔎

And not just in school; I was on ALL the dating sites and apps: Plenty of Fish, OkCupid, Tinder, etc. Trust me, I had them ALL covered! 😎

🗣️ “Why did you want a relationship so bad, Donald?!” 🗣️

At the time I didn’t really know, nor did it even cross my mind to ask myself why. All I knew was I just simply “wanted” to be in a relationship. I wanted to find that special someone who would make me happier. 🤷‍♂️

🌟 But therein laid the problem of my predicament: the expectation I held in my mind that a relationship would somehow “make me happier”. 🌟

❤️ YOUR MOST IMPORTANT VALENTINE!!! ❤️

Often we’re taught, especially in lots of romantic stories, that if we’re in a relationship, that somehow finding that “special someone”, will open up the heavens and you’ll have found the end of the rainbow. 😊

It’s quite romantic…but it’s not reflective of reality! 😅

It’s understandable we keep believing this idea: We tend to only see the POSITIVE moments in a couple’s relationship, on display in our social lives for all to see. 🖼️

We typically won’t hear about the negative or challenging moments that happen in relationships, what can go on behind-the-scenes. Who wants to hear about that, right?! 👍

So me, as a naive teenager, WHY WOULDN’T I want to be in a relationship? Things seem to be nothing but smooth sailing! It looks like fun! 😍

But it was around 3 years ago I actually made a big decision in my perspective regarding relationships. In fact, those dates sites I mentioned earlier, I UNINSTALLED and DELETED ALL my accounts off them! 😲

🗣️ “Why?!” 🗣️

Of all the countless hours I spent on those apps, I had finally become drained of my willingness to keep searching for a significant other. If I could take the ratio of time I spent browsing these apps to the amount of time I actually spent talking with someone, it would be like 500 to 1! 👎

❤️ YOUR MOST IMPORTANT VALENTINE!!! ❤️

Ultimately, my excessive searching was a time-waster! And the funniest part of it all: I made myself feel worse every time I logged off the app when I had no luck, blaming MYSELF for it! 😥

⚠️ I developed this bad habit, and I unintentionally reinforced to myself: “No one wants to talk to me! I feel even lonelier than I did before!” ⚠️

…And then holidays like Valentine’s Day came around each year. They would only FURTHER reinforce my self-pity that I wasn’t in a relationship. It SUCKED! 😫

So you may be asking: what was the “final straw” for you to make such a drastic change?

❤️ YOUR MOST IMPORTANT VALENTINE!!! ❤️

I had come to greater realizations about why I was “wanting” to be in a relationship:

⚠️ I believed being in a relationship was the answer to making me happier. ⚠️

⚠️ I believed that by being in a relationship, I could seek recognition and validation from others. ⚠️

⚠️ I believed that if I was in a relationship, someone would fill the void I felt inside myself. ⚠️

As awful as it sounds, I saw a relationship as a form of property, the other person merely being a poor substitute for a toy I thought would make me feel better. 🧸

But people aren’t objects! 💯 And owning material goods don’t make you fulfilled in the long-term! 💯

🚨 I realized my intentions for wanting to be in a relationship were far more SELFISH than SELFLESS. My intention was less about “WE” and more about “ME”. 🚨

How many of us get into a relationship primarily for selfish reasons? We need to seriously think about this! 💯

So in sharing my story with you all, I hope you see that sometimes what we’re actually looking for is not a relationship at all, but something much closer to home. 🏠

❤️ YOUR MOST IMPORTANT VALENTINE!!! ❤️

🌟 Don’t forget to develop a relationship with Yourself. 🌟

So for all my single friends out there, do not fret! Let me remind you:

❤️ Relationships are not all sunshine and rainbows. We often don’t see what goes on behind-the-scenes, the ongoing commitment that’s required, or the negative moments that can happen in one.

❤️ Inner happiness and fulfillment has to come from YOU first. Fill up your cup so you can easily share the rest with a future lover. If you can’t love yourself first, you can’t expect it to come from others. You’ll be waiting forever…

❤️ Self-love is one of the greatest gifts you can give. The only person you’re with 100% of your life…is Yourself. Learn to be comfortable in your own company.

❤️ Today is an opportunity for you to change your perspective about how you see relationships. They are not a means to an end, and not being in one DOES NOT mean you aren’t loved.

Make today a day for you to give love in whatever way you know best! For me, writing this post to share with you all is one of them! 😁

❤️ YOUR MOST IMPORTANT VALENTINE STARTS WITH YOURSELF!!! ❤️

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SHARE with someone who needs to hear this this Valentine’s Day! ❤️

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