Why We Can’t HEAR Each Other!

๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ โ€œ๐๐‹๐€๐‚๐Š ๐‹๐ˆ๐•๐„๐’ ๐Œ๐€๐“๐“๐„๐‘!โ€ ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ

๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ โ€œ๐€๐‹๐‹ ๐‹๐ˆ๐•๐„๐’ ๐Œ๐€๐“๐“๐„๐‘!โ€ ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ

๐Ÿคฌ โ€œ๐˜๐Ž๐” ๐ƒ๐Ž๐โ€™๐“ ๐”๐๐ƒ๐„๐‘๐’๐“๐€๐๐ƒ!โ€ ๐Ÿคฌ

๐Ÿคฌ โ€œ๐๐Ž, ๐˜๐Ž๐” ๐ƒ๐Ž๐โ€™๐“ ๐”๐๐ƒ๐„๐‘๐’๐“๐€๐๐ƒ!โ€ ๐Ÿคฌ

Are you tired of the back-and-forth arguing? ๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™‚โ€

Are you tired that others cannot seem to understand your point of view? ๐Ÿ™‹

I hope with this post, by illustrating the current trends, it will help us better understand why people think the way they do. โฌ‡๏ธ

Let me add: This post is NOT for sharing my political views. The only bias I wish to promote in this post is Empathy. ๐Ÿ™Œ

(Please note what Iโ€™m about to present are HUGE generalizations in terms of political leanings, so please consider this but a limited framework. Nevertheless, I hope it can provide some clarity. ๐Ÿ˜Š)

๐Ÿ“Œ If one is left-leaning, one tends to see the crime of George Floyd as driven more by systemic racism. If one is right-leaning, one tends to see the crime of George Floyd as driven more by police brutality.

๐Ÿ“Œ If one is left-leaning, one tends to support Black Lives Matter. If one is right-leaning, one tends to support Blue/All Lives Matter.

๐Ÿ“Œ If one is left-leaning, one tends to see racism as systemic and institutionalized. If one is right-leaning, one tends to see racism as occurring but as being overly exaggerated/a moral panic.

๐Ÿ“Œ If one is left-leaning, one tends to recommend African American thinkers like Ta-Nehisi Coates and Ibram X. Kendi. If one is right-leaning, one tends to recommend African American thinkers like Thomas Sowell and Shelby Steele.

๐Ÿ“Œ If one is left-leaning, one tends to focus on the instances of police mistreatment being done towards protesters. If one is right-leaning, one tends to focus on the instances of people rioting and looting local businesses.

๐Ÿ“Œ If one is left-leaning, one tends to sympathize and offer care to the less fortunate and those they see as oppressed. If one is right-leaning, one tends to advocate for personal responsibility, self-reliance, and rejecting victimhood mentality.

๐Ÿ“Œ If one is left-leaning, some favorite scapegoats may include: โ€œthe 1%โ€, โ€œpatriarchyโ€, โ€œprivilegeโ€, โ€œpower structuresโ€, and โ€œwhite supremacyโ€. If one is right-leaning, some favorite scapegoats may include: โ€œthe elite globalistsโ€, โ€œgovernment regulationโ€, โ€œimmigrationโ€, โ€œsocial justice warriorsโ€, and “cultural Marxism”.

Again, this is a VERY general framework. But depending on where you are on the political spectrum is going to be a BIG factor in how you perceive the current circumstances. ๐Ÿ‘€

๐“๐ก๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ข๐ฌ: ๐ฐ๐ž ๐๐จ๐งโ€™๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ž๐ž ๐ฌ๐ข๐ญ๐ฎ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐š๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฒ ๐š๐ซ๐ž. ๐–๐ž ๐ฌ๐ž๐ž ๐ฌ๐ข๐ญ๐ฎ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐š๐ฌ ๐š ๐ซ๐ž๐Ÿ๐ฅ๐ž๐œ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ฐ๐ก๐จ ๐ฐ๐ž ๐š๐ซ๐ž, ๐š ๐ซ๐ž๐Ÿ๐ฅ๐ž๐œ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐œ๐š๐ฅ ๐ฏ๐ข๐ž๐ฐ๐ฌ, ๐›๐ž๐ฅ๐ข๐ž๐Ÿ๐ฌ, ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ฏ๐š๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ž๐ฌ. ๐Ÿ‘ค

Itโ€™s the reason why some people are emphasizing โ€œBlack Lives Matterโ€ while some people are emphasizing โ€œAll Lives Matterโ€. ๐Ÿ’ก

Let’s give an exampleโ€ฆ

2 people go to the theater to watch a movie. They both sit side-by-side and watch the movie in full. ๐ŸŽฌ

When the movie is over, both people walk out of the theater ready to share their opinionsโ€ฆ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ

Person 1: “That movie was AWESOME!” ๐Ÿคฉ

Person 2 is shocked: “What?! That movie was DUMB!” โŒ

Person 1 is annoyed: “What, HOW could you say that?!” ๐Ÿคฌ

Person 2 is flabbergasted: “How could YOU praise such a trashy movie!?” ๐Ÿคฌ

Remember: BOTH people saw the exact same movie! Side-by-side! ๐Ÿ˜•

So how did they come up with 2 polar opposite opinions of the same film? ๐Ÿค”

๐๐ž๐œ๐š๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฒ ๐ž๐š๐œ๐ก ๐›๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฆ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฅ๐ฏ๐ž๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฏ๐ข๐ž.

We all carry past experiences, beliefs, and values, and they in turn influence how we see the things around us, including movies. ๐Ÿ‘€

Think of it like this: each person is wearing a different pair of glasses, and these glasses are magnifying or shrinking certain parts of what a person focuses on. ๐Ÿ‘“

Person 1 said the movie was “AWESOME” because they loved the action sequences they focused on. ๐Ÿคฉ

Person 2 said the movie was โ€œDUMB” because they focused on how the film was all action and little story. โŒ

The exact same movie. Two different interpretations. ๐Ÿ™Œ

THIS is why:

๐Ÿ˜ฑ Some of my friends cannot fathom how another person can emphasize “Black Lives Matter” over “All Lives Matter”.

๐Ÿ˜ฑ Some of my friends cannot fathom how another person can emphasize “All Lives Matter” over “Black Lives Matter”.

Is it just because theyโ€™re a โ€œsocial justice warriorโ€? ๐Ÿคฌ

Is it just because of their โ€œwhite privilegeโ€? ๐Ÿคฌ

Instead of making assumptions, I encourage us all to instead ask: โ€œWhy?โ€ ๐Ÿค”

I encourage us all to start asking more questions and making less assumptions, ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฌ๐ž๐ž๐ค ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฎ๐ง๐๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ซ๐š๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ง ๐ญ๐จ ๐จ๐ง๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐›๐ž ๐ฎ๐ง๐๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ๐จ๐จ๐.

Thatโ€™s how we use the Power of Empathy. ๐Ÿ™Œ

In his book โ€œThe Righteous Mindโ€, social psychologist Jonathan Haidt emphasizes 1 key point heโ€™s learned in all his decades of research into Morality โฌ‡๏ธ:

๐Ÿ’ฌ โ€œ๐Œ๐จ๐ซ๐š๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐›๐ข๐ง๐๐ฌ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐›๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐๐ฌ. ๐ˆ๐ญ ๐›๐ข๐ง๐๐ฌ ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐จ ๐ข๐๐ž๐จ๐ฅ๐จ๐ ๐ข๐œ๐š๐ฅ ๐ญ๐ž๐š๐ฆ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐ž๐š๐œ๐ก ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ ๐š๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐Ÿ๐š๐ญ๐ž ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ฅ๐ ๐๐ž๐ฉ๐ž๐ง๐๐ž๐ ๐จ๐ง ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฌ๐ข๐๐ž ๐ฐ๐ข๐ง๐ง๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ž๐š๐œ๐ก ๐›๐š๐ญ๐ญ๐ฅ๐ž. ๐ˆ๐ญ ๐›๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐๐ฌ ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐Ÿ๐š๐œ๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ž๐š๐œ๐ก ๐ญ๐ž๐š๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ž๐ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ ๐จ๐จ๐ ๐ฉ๐ž๐จ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ž ๐ฐ๐ก๐จ ๐ก๐š๐ฏ๐ž ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ข๐ฆ๐ฉ๐จ๐ซ๐ญ๐š๐ง๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฌ๐š๐ฒ.โ€ ๐Ÿ’ฌ

In helping us better understand each other, Haidt shares his Moral Foundations Theory.

The idea is that we each carry 6 moral taste buds:

1. ๐˜พ๐™–๐™ง๐™š/๐™ƒ๐™–๐™ง๐™ข โ€“ ๐™’๐™š ๐™ซ๐™–๐™ก๐™ช๐™š ๐™˜๐™–๐™ง๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™›๐™ค๐™ง ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ค๐™จ๐™š ๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™ฃ๐™š๐™š๐™™ ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™ง๐™š๐™™๐™ช๐™˜๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™๐™–๐™ง๐™ข ๐™–๐™จ ๐™ข๐™ช๐™˜๐™ ๐™–๐™จ ๐™ฌ๐™š ๐™˜๐™–๐™ฃ.โค๏ธ

2. ๐™๐™–๐™ž๐™ง๐™ฃ๐™š๐™จ๐™จ/๐˜พ๐™๐™š๐™–๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ โ€“ ๐™’๐™š ๐™ซ๐™–๐™ก๐™ช๐™š ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ค๐™จ๐™š ๐™ฌ๐™๐™ค ๐™ฅ๐™ก๐™–๐™ฎ ๐™—๐™ฎ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ง๐™ช๐™ก๐™š๐™จ ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™™๐™ž๐™จ๐™ก๐™ž๐™ ๐™š ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ค๐™จ๐™š ๐™ฌ๐™๐™ค ๐™˜๐™๐™š๐™–๐™ฉ. ๐Ÿ’ฐ

3. ๐™‡๐™ค๐™ฎ๐™–๐™ก๐™ฉ๐™ฎ/๐˜ฝ๐™š๐™ฉ๐™ง๐™–๐™ฎ๐™–๐™ก โ€“ ๐™’๐™š ๐™ซ๐™–๐™ก๐™ช๐™š ๐™›๐™š๐™š๐™ก๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™ก๐™ž๐™ ๐™š ๐™ฌ๐™š ๐™—๐™š๐™ก๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™– ๐™œ๐™ง๐™ค๐™ช๐™ฅ ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™™๐™ž๐™จ๐™ก๐™ž๐™ ๐™š ๐™ค๐™ฉ๐™๐™š๐™ง๐™จ ๐™ฌ๐™๐™ค ๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™š๐™ฅ ๐™ค๐™ช๐™ฉ๐™จ๐™ž๐™™๐™š ๐™ž๐™ฉ. ๐Ÿ‘ฅ

4. ๐˜ผ๐™ช๐™ฉ๐™๐™ค๐™ง๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ฎ/๐™Ž๐™ช๐™—๐™ซ๐™š๐™ง๐™จ๐™ž๐™ค๐™ฃ โ€“ ๐™’๐™š ๐™ซ๐™–๐™ก๐™ช๐™š ๐™จ๐™ค๐™˜๐™ž๐™–๐™ก ๐™ค๐™ง๐™™๐™š๐™ง, ๐™จ๐™ค ๐™ฌ๐™š ๐™–๐™ฅ๐™ฅ๐™ง๐™š๐™˜๐™ž๐™–๐™ฉ๐™š ๐™–๐™ช๐™ฉ๐™๐™ค๐™ง๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ฎ ๐™›๐™ค๐™ง ๐™ ๐™š๐™š๐™ฅ๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™จ๐™ค๐™˜๐™ž๐™š๐™ฉ๐™ฎ ๐™ค๐™ง๐™œ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™ž๐™ฏ๐™š๐™™ ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™–๐™—๐™ก๐™š. ๐Ÿš“

5. ๐™Ž๐™–๐™ฃ๐™˜๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ฎ/๐˜ฟ๐™š๐™œ๐™ง๐™–๐™™๐™–๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ค๐™ฃ โ€“ ๐™’๐™š ๐™ซ๐™–๐™ก๐™ช๐™š ๐™จ๐™–๐™˜๐™ง๐™š๐™™๐™ฃ๐™š๐™จ๐™จ, ๐™ฌ๐™๐™š๐™ฉ๐™๐™š๐™ง ๐™ž๐™ฉโ€™๐™จ ๐™›๐™ค๐™ช๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™– ๐™˜๐™๐™ช๐™ง๐™˜๐™, ๐™– ๐™ง๐™š๐™ก๐™ž๐™œ๐™ž๐™ค๐™ช๐™จ ๐™จ๐™ฎ๐™ข๐™—๐™ค๐™ก, ๐™ค๐™ง ๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™– ๐™ฅ๐™ก๐™–๐™˜๐™š ๐™ฌ๐™š ๐™๐™ค๐™ก๐™™ ๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™๐™ž๐™œ๐™ ๐™ง๐™š๐™œ๐™–๐™ง๐™™. ๐Ÿ™Œ

6. ๐™‡๐™ž๐™—๐™š๐™ง๐™ฉ๐™ฎ/๐™Š๐™ฅ๐™ฅ๐™ง๐™š๐™จ๐™จ๐™ž๐™ค๐™ฃ โ€“ ๐™’๐™š ๐™ซ๐™–๐™ก๐™ช๐™š ๐™– ๐™จ๐™š๐™ฃ๐™จ๐™š ๐™ค๐™› ๐™–๐™ช๐™ฉ๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™ค๐™ข๐™ฎ ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™ฅ๐™š๐™ง๐™จ๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™–๐™ก ๐™›๐™ง๐™š๐™š๐™™๐™ค๐™ข. โœŠ

Haidt says we each carry these 6 moral taste buds, ๐›๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ž ๐๐จ๐งโ€™๐ญ ๐ฏ๐š๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฆ ๐ž๐ช๐ฎ๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ.

Heโ€™s not here to argue which combinations of taste buds are better or worse, only to say that they exist, and that they also heavily influence our political leanings. โ˜ฏ๏ธ

For example, those who tend to be left-leaning often have Care/Harm and Fairness/Cheating as their highest moral taste buds. These 2 moral taste buds tend to be disproportionately higher than all the others. ๐Ÿ”

But when it comes to those who are right-leaning, the moral taste buds tend to be more evenly distributed. โš–๏ธ

So, the next time youโ€™re in a disagreement with someone, I challenge you to keep an ear out for these moral taste buds in the words of others. ๐Ÿ‘‚

Use these moral taste buds not just to better understand how others think but also to better understand your own moral worldview. ๐Ÿค”

Take COVID-19 as another example of the moral taste buds at play. ๐Ÿ’ก

Remember how some people were more focused on the economy while other people were more focused on the loss of individual lives? ๐Ÿ‘

It’s not that economists didn’t care about human life. It’s also not that healthcare professionals didn’t care about the effects on the economy. The difference was in which moral taste buds they placed as being more important. ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

In other words…

๐“๐ก๐ž ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ฌ๐จ๐ง ๐ฐ๐žโ€™๐ซ๐ž ๐ญ๐š๐ฅ๐ค๐ข๐ง๐  ๐จ๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ ๐ž๐š๐œ๐ก ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐›๐ž๐œ๐š๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž ๐ž๐š๐œ๐ก ๐ฌ๐ข๐๐ž ๐ข๐ฌ ๐š๐ซ๐ ๐ฎ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐จ๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ ๐ฐ๐ก๐ข๐œ๐ก ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐š๐ฅ ๐ญ๐š๐ฌ๐ญ๐ž ๐›๐ฎ๐๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐ญ๐š๐ค๐ž ๐ฉ๐ซ๐ž๐œ๐ž๐๐ž๐ง๐œ๐ž ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ข๐ญ๐ฎ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง. ๐–๐ž’๐ซ๐ž ๐š๐ซ๐ ๐ฎ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐จ๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฆ๐š๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐œ๐ฌ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ซ๐จ๐จ๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ž๐ฌ.

Having friends on both sides of the political spectrum, I can tell you: BOTH SIDES agree the crime of George Floyd was awful and condemn it. โŒ

The difference is in how each side interprets the severity of the situation and how we should be responding to it. ๐Ÿ—บ๏ธ

That’s why we need to come together and understand each other’s points of view on this. Otherwise, we’re going to keep making the same mistake of assuming everyone thinks exactly the same way we do. ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

They don’t. ๐Ÿ™Œ

๐ˆ’๐ฆ ๐ญ๐š๐ฅ๐ค๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐Ž๐“๐‡ ๐ฌ๐ข๐๐ž๐ฌ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐œ๐š๐ฅ ๐ฌ๐ฉ๐ž๐œ๐ญ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ก๐ž๐ซ๐ž. ๐Ÿ’ฏ

Focusing on problems doesnโ€™t solve problems; focusing on solutions creates solutions. And I hope with this post I can be a part of that solution. ๐Ÿ™Œ

๐Ÿšจ Imposing our self-righteousness onto others, whether it’s using guilt, shame, or emotional intimidation, is NOT a helpful long-term solution.

๐Ÿšจ Refusing to set aside our ideological echo chambers for the sake of comfort sets a DANGEROUS precedent for how we as a country collectively handle our problems in the future.

In times where polarization is high, cynicism is high, distrust is high, and tribalism is high, itโ€™s crucial that all of us continue emphasizing the importance of civility with each other. ๐Ÿ’ฌ

Because it is SO EASY for us not to do so now is the very reason I emphasize it. I know I’m going against the Outrage Train by even saying this. ๐Ÿ’ฏ

Why? Because ๐ˆ’๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐จ๐จ๐ค๐ข๐ง๐  ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž ๐ญ๐จ๐ ๐ž๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐๐ข๐ž ๐ญ๐จ๐ ๐ž๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ. ๐Ÿ˜Š

Because that’s the beauty of the United States being a pluralistic society:

๐Ÿ“Œ A society where we can have one party who thinks the movie was โ€œAWESOME!โ€ and another party who thinks the movie was โ€œDUMB!โ€

๐Ÿ“Œ A society where two opposing parties can have a civil discussion over the movie, find places where they agree, and seek compromise on the places they disagree.

Perhaps my thinking is overly optimistic and idealistic. But for me, hope has always been a good thing. โค๏ธ

Consider this post a friendly reminder to continue focusing on empathy and solutions, even when it’s not easy. ๐Ÿ‘

Because I know ๐ข๐ญ’๐ฌ ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ก๐š๐ซ๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐จ ๐ฌ๐จ ๐ฐ๐ก๐ž๐ง ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ž๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐š๐ฅ ๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐๐ฌ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ฌ๐ก๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐๐ž๐ ๐ข๐ง ๐ฐ๐ž๐ž๐๐ฌ. ๐Ÿ˜จ

So…letโ€™s get to work! ๐Ÿ’จ

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