๐ ๐’๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐…๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐!! ๐
It doesnโt have to be one OR the other; it can be one AND the other. โ๏ธ
I donโt expect my spiritual friends to understand the complexities of science and the search for objective truth. ๐งฌ
But I also don’t expect my scientific friends to understand the usefulness of stories and metaphorical truths to help someone live a better quality of life. โค๏ธ
The problem I see happening is when each side assumes malicious intent of the other. Each side assumes they’re searching for the same definition of โtruthโ. ๐
๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ฆ ๐๐๐ข๐ง๐ ๐จ๐ง ๐๐จ๐ญ๐ก ๐ฌ๐ข๐๐๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐จ๐ข๐ง, ๐ ๐๐๐ง ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฒ ๐๐ซ๐๐ง’๐ญ. ๐
๐๐ก๐๐ฒ ๐๐จ๐ญ๐ก ๐ก๐๐ฏ๐ ๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ฒ ๐๐ข๐๐๐๐ซ๐๐ง๐ญ ๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ฆ๐จ๐ฅ๐จ๐ ๐ข๐๐ฌ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ญ๐ก๐จ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐จ๐ ๐ข๐๐ฌ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ก๐จ๐ฐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฒ ๐ฌ๐๐๐ค โ๐ญ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ญ๐กโ. ๐
โ๏ธ Science is focused on precision; spirituality is very broad.
โ๏ธ Science uses quantitative measurement; spirituality embraces the abstract.
โ๏ธ Science is focused on objectivity; spirituality is focused on subjectivity.
Unfortunately, each sideโs misunderstandings of one another puts them at odds. Their miscommunication has them ending up talking over each other. ๐
It’s why it’s so easy for each side to see the other side as the “villain”. ๐ฟ
Problems arise:
๐ When the spiritual individual misunderstands science and cites studies for which a scientist could easily deduct to be โjunkโ or โpseudoscienceโ.
๐ When the scientific individual misunderstands spirituality and thinks the ideas that are taught are useless because they canโt be measured quantitatively.
๐ When the spiritual individual labels scientists and the breakthroughs they discover as โsatanicโ and โunnaturalโ.
๐ When the scientific individual labels spirituality and the rituals within these communities as โirrationalโ and โwoo wooโ.
In other words, ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฌ๐ ๐ ๐๐ซ๐๐๐ฌ ๐๐ซ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฆ๐. ๐๐ก๐๐ซ๐๐๐จ๐ซ๐, ๐ฐ๐ ๐ฌ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐๐ง’๐ญ ๐๐ ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฆ ๐๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐๐ก.
๐๐ ๐ฌ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐ฉ๐๐๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฒ ๐๐ซ๐ ๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐๐ญ๐ ๐๐ข๐๐ฅ๐๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐ข๐ง๐ช๐ฎ๐ข๐ซ๐ฒ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐จ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐ฑ๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ง๐๐ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐๐ ๐๐ข๐๐.
To add, Iโm NOT saying I treat these fields as having equal usefulness. Iโm NOT taking the middle ground here and claiming both sides are 50-50. I strongly disagree with that stance. I have my own personal views and stances towards each field, but thatโs not what this post is about. โ
My point with this post is the same point Iโve made in so many of my other posts: ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ถ
Am I saying a scientist or spiritual teacher cannot question authority figures or experts outside their specialized fields? Of course not! Thatโs how we learn and understand from the experts in their fields. It’s important that we ask questions! ๐ฏ
I’m not an “expert” in either field and I’m still writing this post! ๐
But what I am advocating for is an open communication between the fields, to bring the best of both worlds to the table while at the same time understanding and respecting where the fields are going to irreconcilably differ.
โ ๏ธ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐’๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐! โ ๏ธ
This can also be applied to the political sphere, when it comes to Democrats and Republicans, “the Left” and “the Right”.
Van Jones argued in his recent book โBeyond the Messy Truthโ one of the biggest problems facing our modern politics is that political parties are no longer uniting under the ideals of Conservatism or Liberalism, to bring out the best of their parties. Instead, ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฒ ๐๐ซ๐ ๐ฎ๐ง๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฎ๐ง๐๐๐ซ ๐ ๐ฌ๐ก๐๐ซ๐๐ ๐ก๐จ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐จ๐ ๐๐๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ข-๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ญ๐ก๐๐ซ ๐๐๐ซ๐ญ๐ฒ. ๐คฌ
Social psychologist Jonathan Haidt shared a similar argument in his book โThe Coddling of the American Mindโ but in the context of college campuses. He cites instances where college students have forcibly interrupted and shouted down guest political speakers they deemed โoffensiveโ. ๐คฌ
In one instance, a college professor disagreed with students about one of their social causes. Literally, student protesters surrounded his classroom, screamed at him when he asked for a civil discussion, and demanded he resign from the university.
To put it simply:
๐ ๐๐ค๐ก๐๐ง๐๐ฏ๐๐ฉ๐๐ค๐ฃ ๐๐๐จ ๐๐ฃ๐๐ง๐๐๐จ๐๐. ๐๐ง๐๐๐๐ก๐๐จ๐ข ๐๐๐จ ๐๐ฃ๐๐ง๐๐๐จ๐๐. ๐พ๐ฎ๐ฃ๐๐๐๐จ๐ข ๐๐๐จ ๐๐ฃ๐๐ง๐๐๐จ๐๐. ๐๐๐๐ง๐’๐จ ๐ ๐๐ง๐ค๐ฌ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ค๐ก๐ก๐๐๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ ๐๐จ๐จ๐ช๐ข๐ฅ๐ฉ๐๐ค๐ฃ ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฉ ๐ฅ๐๐ค๐ฅ๐ก๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ค ๐๐๐จ๐๐๐ง๐๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฉ๐ ๐ช๐จ, ๐๐ฎ ๐๐๐๐๐ช๐ก๐ฉ, ๐๐๐ซ๐ ๐ข๐๐ก๐๐๐๐ค๐ช๐จ ๐๐ฃ๐ฉ๐๐ฃ๐ฉ.
๐ผ๐ง๐๐ช๐ข๐๐ฃ๐ฉ๐จ ๐๐๐ซ๐ ๐๐๐๐ค๐ข๐ ๐ก๐๐จ๐จ ๐๐๐ค๐ช๐ฉ ๐จ๐๐๐ง๐๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ค๐ง ๐ฉ๐ง๐ช๐ฉ๐ ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ฃ๐จ๐ฉ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ค๐ช๐ฉ ๐๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐จ๐ค๐ข๐๐ฉ๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐ฌ๐๐ฃ. ๐๐๐๐ฎ’๐ซ๐ ๐๐๐๐ค๐ข๐ ๐ก๐๐จ๐จ ๐๐๐ค๐ช๐ฉ ๐ช๐จ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐๐ฉ๐จ ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ง๐๐๐จ๐ค๐ฃ ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ฃ๐จ๐ฉ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ค๐ช๐ฉ ๐๐ค๐ข๐๐ฃ๐๐ฉ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฉ๐ ๐๐ข๐ค๐ฉ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐๐ก ๐๐ฃ๐ฉ๐๐ข๐๐๐๐ฉ๐๐ค๐ฃ. ๐
And I wonโt pretend Iโm immune from falling into these mindsets either! Iโm not here to claim some moral superiority with this post. Just like anyone else, I have to always remind myself not to fall into these traps too! ๐ฏ
Itโs why I canโt blame you if you fall into them either. ๐
๐ ๐๐๐…๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐’๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐! ๐
๐โ๐ข ๐๐ฃ๐ฉ๐ง๐ค๐๐ช๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช ๐ฉ๐ค ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ฅ๐ค๐จ๐จ๐๐๐๐ก๐๐ฉ๐ฎ ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฉ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช ๐๐ค๐ฃ’๐ฉ ๐๐๐ซ๐ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐จ๐๐ ๐จ๐ค๐ข๐๐ค๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ก๐จ๐ ๐๐จ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช๐ง “๐๐ฃ๐๐ข๐ฎ”. ๐
It may be good for one’s online branding and business marketing to create polarization and division in the short-term, but it sure as hell isn’t good for humanity’s sake in the long-term. ๐ฏ
Itโs why we ALL need to be mindful about the environments we surround ourselves in, the people we surround ourselves with, and what we’re choosing to feed our minds on a daily basis. ๐ง
Itโs not just about maintaining a healthy physical body but also a healthy mental mind.
๐ญ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐. ๐ญ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ . ๐
Did you know Van Jones is close friends with Newt Gingrich? ๐๐ก๐๐ฒ ๐๐ซ๐ ๐จ๐ง ๐จ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ข๐ญ๐ ๐ฌ๐ข๐๐๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐๐๐ฅ ๐ฌ๐ฉ๐๐๐ญ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฆ. Van Jones is a Democrat and Newt a Republican.
Van Jones notes in his book they disagree more than they ever agree politically. ๐
But despite that, theyโre good friends! ๐ฒ
Why? Newt once shared with him this piece of wisdom:
โ๐๐๐๐ โ90% ๐๐๐๐๐โ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ โ10% ๐๐๐๐๐๐ โ โ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.โ ๐
Itโs why I think Jonathan Haidt was also right, in the same tradition, when he said the greatest wisdom you can find is in the minds of your opponents. Your “villains”. The people you’re emotionally tempted to label in your mind as โpure evilโ. ๐ฟ
โ ๏ธ ๐๐๐โฆ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐! โ ๏ธ
A few months ago, I listened to a Joe Rogan podcast where he interviewed Daryl Davis. Daryl is an African American musician who is known not just for his amazing talent on the piano but also for converting over 200 people OUT of the white supremacist group the Ku Klux Klan. ๐ฑ
In the podcast he went in-depth about how this all started. But the biggest detail which stuck out to me hearing his story was in how simple his solution was in reaching out to Klan members! ๐ก
๐ ๐ฏ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐. ๐ฏ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐. ๐
He learned what the Klan believed about African Americans, and he (again, respectfully) challenged their ideas. He invited many of them over to his house for dinner! And in turn, they even invited him to their Klan meetings! ๐
It wasnโt long after that one of the top Klan members handed Daryl his Klan robe and said he was leaving the organization. ๐ฑ
๐๐ด๐ฎ๐ถ๐ป, ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ผ ๐ฏ๐ฒ ๐ท๐๐๐ ๐ญ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐๐น๐ฎ๐ป๐๐บ๐ฒ๐ป!
And you know what, the solution Daryl provided in this situation was not so different from the story of Megan Phelps-Roper either! ๐
Megan was a former member of the Westboro Baptist Church, a group widely known for their extremist views towards homosexuals (โGod hates f*gsโ).
From birth, Megan was raised in the Church as her grandfather was the founder. Because of her upbringing, she was raised to see a very limited view of the world around her. ๐
๐๐ก๐ ๐จ๐ง๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ค๐ง๐๐ฐ ๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ก๐๐ซ ๐๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐จ๐ฅ๐ ๐ก๐๐ซ. ๐๐ก๐ ๐ฐ๐๐ฌ ๐ญ๐๐ฎ๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ฏ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฉ๐๐จ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ ๐ก๐๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ก๐๐ซ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ก๐๐ซ ๐๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ฆ๐๐๐ง๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐๐ซ๐ ๐ซ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ข๐ซ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ข๐๐๐ฌ.
It was only when she created a Twitter account to promote her Church was she exposed to alternative viewpoints. Anonymous people she had never met were now messaging her and pointing out logical inconsistencies in her tweets.
One of those people in particular was a lawyer she debated and eventually became good friends with. To Megan, this man seemed different. ๐
What was the difference between him and others who simply tweeted insults at her?
๐ ๐ ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ ๐ก๐๐ ๐ ๐ฟ๐๐ง๐ฎ๐ก ๐ฟ๐๐ซ๐๐จ, ๐๐ ๐ฌ๐๐จ ๐ง๐๐จ๐ฅ๐๐๐ฉ๐๐ช๐ก ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐ซ๐๐ก ๐ฌ๐๐ฉ๐ ๐๐๐ง. ๐
Eventually, she started to doubt what she was raised to believe. She went to her folks for clarity, but with the new perspectives she had been introduced to she could not receive a satisfactory answer. ๐คฏ
Soon after, she left the church along with her sisterโฆand her family shunned her. Today, she shares her personal story with others, to provide an inside view when it comes to religious extremism. ๐ฃ๏ธ
And as for that lawyer she once debatedโฆthey’re now married! ๐
๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐? ๐
๐ ๐ป๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐-๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐
๐ ๐ป๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ต๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐. ๐
๐ ๐ป๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐. ๐
This all may sound like common sense. But how many people do you actually see using common sense on a daily basis?
How about yourself? ๐
Sounds like it may be back to basics, right?!
โค๏ธ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐! โค๏ธ
Seriously, I do!
Your need to โ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ณ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ตโ is the same reason I want to โ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ณ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ตโ. ๐
๐๐จ๐ฅ๐๐ข๐ง๐ ๐จ๐ง๐ญ๐จ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ฌ๐ฉ๐๐๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ฅ๐ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐๐จ๐ซ๐ญ๐๐๐ฅ๐. ๐๐ญ ๐๐๐๐ฅ๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐๐๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฌ๐๐๐ฎ๐ซ๐. ๐
๐๐๐๐๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ ๐จ๐ฉ๐๐ง ๐ญ๐จ ๐ง๐๐ฐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐จ๐ง๐ญ๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ข๐๐๐๐ฌ, ๐จ๐ง๐๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ก๐ข๐๐ก ๐๐ก๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐๐ง๐ ๐ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฌ๐๐ง๐ฌ๐ ๐จ๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ฌ๐จ๐ง๐๐ฅ ๐ข๐๐๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ, ๐๐๐ง ๐ญ๐ซ๐ข๐ ๐ ๐๐ซ ๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐ญ ๐๐ฑ๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐๐ข๐ง. ๐๐ก๐จ ๐ฐ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐๐๐ฅ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ค๐ข๐ง๐ ๐จ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ข๐ง?! ๐
๐๐จ ๐๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ ๐โ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ซ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐ซ๐๐ช๐ฎ๐ข๐ซ๐๐ฌ ๐ฆ๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ข๐๐๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ ๐จ๐ง๐๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ข๐ฅ๐ญ ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐ ๐ฆ๐ฒ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐ ๐ฐ๐๐ฌ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ซ๐๐ฒ ๐๐ฌ ๐ ๐จ๐ง๐๐ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ญ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฐ๐๐ฌ. ๐
๐๐จ, ๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐จ๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ฎ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ก๐จ๐ฅ๐ ๐จ๐ง๐ญ๐จ ๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ฏ๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐๐ง๐ฒ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐ฐ๐ก๐จ ๐๐ข๐ฌ๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐ฏ๐ข๐๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ซ๐ญ๐๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ ๐๐ซ๐๐ฏ๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ง ๐ฎ๐ง๐๐๐ซ๐ญ๐๐ข๐ง ๐ฅ๐ข๐๐. ๐
But thereโs 1 big problem:
๐๐จ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐จ๐งโ๐ญ ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ฑ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ข๐๐ง๐๐ ๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ ๐จ๐ง ๐ ๐๐๐๐ฉ๐๐ซ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐ฆ๐๐๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐๐ฏ๐๐ฅ. ๐๐จ๐ฎ’๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ง๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ฑ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ข๐๐ง๐๐ ๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐๐ฅ๐ฌ๐ ๐๐ข๐๐ ๐ก๐๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐จ๐๐๐๐ซ. ๐
So, I get itโฆitโs not easy! It wasnโt easy for me either! โค๏ธ
๐ ๐๐๐โฆ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐! ๐
These are solutions we need to start using, so long as we are going to live together and not die together.
๐ ๐๐ ๐ฃ๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐ก๐๐๐ง๐ฃ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐ฉ๐ค๐ก๐๐ง๐๐ฉ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ฉ ๐ฉ๐๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ง๐ 7.5 ๐๐๐ก๐ก๐๐ค๐ฃ ๐ค๐ฉ๐๐๐ง ๐ฅ๐๐ค๐ฅ๐ก๐ ๐ค๐ฃ ๐ฉ๐๐๐จ ๐ฅ๐ก๐๐ฃ๐๐ฉ ๐ฌ๐๐ค ๐ข๐๐ฎ ๐ฃ๐ค๐ฉ ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ข๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฎ ๐ฌ๐ ๐๐ค ๐ค๐ง ๐๐๐ก๐๐๐ซ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ข๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฃ๐๐จ ๐ฌ๐ ๐๐ค. ๐
๐ ๐๐ ๐ฃ๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐ก๐๐๐ง๐ฃ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐๐๐ซ๐๐ก๐ค๐ฅ ๐ข๐ค๐๐๐จ๐ฉ๐ฎ ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ช๐ข๐๐ก๐๐ฉ๐ฎ, ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฉ ๐ฉ๐๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ค๐ฉ๐๐๐ง ๐ฅ๐๐ค๐ฅ๐ก๐ ๐ฌ๐ ๐๐๐ฃ ๐ก๐๐๐ง๐ฃ ๐๐ง๐ค๐ข ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ฅ๐๐ง๐๐๐ฅ๐จ ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐ ๐ช๐จ ๐จ๐ค๐ข๐๐ฉ๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ฃ๐๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ ๐๐๐๐ฃโ๐ฉ ๐ ๐ฃ๐ค๐ฌ ๐๐๐๐ค๐ง๐.๐
๐ ๐๐ ๐ฃ๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐ก๐๐๐ง๐ฃ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐๐๐ซ๐ ๐ค๐ฉ๐๐๐ง๐จ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐๐๐ฃ๐๐๐๐ฉ ๐ค๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐๐ค๐ช๐๐ฉ. ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ฅ๐๐ง๐จ๐ค๐ฃ ๐ฌ๐๐ค ๐๐ช๐ฉ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช ๐ค๐๐ ๐๐ฃ ๐ฉ๐ง๐๐๐๐๐. ๐๐ค๐ช ๐๐๐ฃ ๐๐๐ง๐ฉ๐๐๐ฃ๐ก๐ฎ ๐๐๐ค๐ค๐จ๐ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐๐จ๐จ๐ช๐ข๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฎโ๐ง๐ ๐ โ๐๐ค๐ง๐ง๐๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ง๐๐ซ๐๐งโ. ๐ฝ๐ช๐ฉ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช ๐๐๐ฃ ๐๐ก๐จ๐ค ๐๐จ๐จ๐ช๐ข๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฎ ๐ข๐๐ฎ ๐๐ ๐๐ฃ ๐ ๐ง๐ช๐จ๐ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐๐๐ฉ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐ง ๐ก๐ค๐ซ๐๐ ๐ค๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ฉ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐๐ค๐จ๐ฅ๐๐ฉ๐๐ก, ๐ฉ๐ค ๐๐จ๐จ๐ช๐ข๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐จ ๐ฅ๐๐ง๐จ๐ค๐ฃ ๐๐ค๐๐จ๐ฃโ๐ฉ ๐ฃ๐ค๐ง๐ข๐๐ก๐ก๐ฎ ๐๐ง๐๐ซ๐ ๐ก๐๐ ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐จ. ๐๐ค๐ช ๐๐๐ซ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ฅ๐ค๐ฌ๐๐ง ๐ฉ๐ค ๐๐๐ค๐ค๐จ๐! ๐
So, who’s with me in being the change we wish to see? ๐โ๏ธ
It doesn’t mean you won’t make mistakes. I can tell you I’ve made plenty! But what matters is you acknowledge the mistakes and continue to improve upon them. ๐
If I’ve still not convinced you to come along on this journey, perhaps I can share with you advice directly from Megan Phelps-Roper herself on how we can better communicate with others…
“๐ ๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ข๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐๐ง๐ญ.
My friends on Twitter realized that even when my words were aggressive and offensive, I sincerely believed I was doing the right thing.
Assuming ill motives almost instantly cuts us off from truly understanding why someone does and believes as they do. ๐
We forget that they’re a human being with a lifetime of experience that shaped their mind, and we get stuck on that first wave of anger, and the conversation has a very hard time ever moving beyond it. But when we assume good or neutral intent, we give our minds a much stronger framework for dialogue.
๐ ๐๐ก๐ ๐ฌ๐๐๐จ๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ฌ๐ค ๐ช๐ฎ๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ.
When we engage people across ideological divides, asking questions helps us map the disconnect between our differing points of view. That’s important because we can’t present effective arguments if we don’t understand where the other side is actually coming from and because it gives them an opportunity to point out flaws in our positions.
But asking questions serves another purpose; it signals to someone that they’re being heard. ๐
When my friends on Twitter stopped accusing and started asking questions, I almost automatically mirrored them. Their questions gave me room to speak, but they also gave me permission to ask them questions and to truly hear their responses. It fundamentally changed the dynamic of our conversation.
๐ ๐๐ก๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ซ๐ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ฒ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฆ.
This takes practice and patience, but it’s powerful. At Westboro, I learned not to care how my manner of speaking affected others. I thought my rightness justified my rudeness — harsh tones, raised voices, insults, interruptions — but that strategy is ultimately counterproductive. Dialing up the volume and the snark is natural in stressful situations, but it tends to bring the conversation to an unsatisfactory, explosive end.
When my husband was still just an anonymous Twitter acquaintance, our discussions frequently became hard and pointed, but we always refused to escalate. Instead, he would change the subject. He would tell a joke or recommend a book or gently excuse himself from the conversation. We knew the discussion wasn’t over, just paused for a time to bring us back to an even keel.
People often lament that digital communication makes us less civil, but this is one advantage that online conversations have over in-person ones. We have a buffer of time and space between us and the people whose ideas we find so frustrating. We can use that buffer. Instead of lashing out, we can pause, breathe, change the subject or walk away, and then come back to it when we’re ready.
๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ข๐ง๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ…๐ฆ๐๐ค๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐ซ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ญ.
This might seem obvious, but one side effect of having strong beliefs is that we sometimes assume that the value of our position is or should be obvious and self-evident, that we shouldn’t have to defend our positions because they’re so clearly right and good that if someone doesn’t get it, it’s their problem — that it’s not my job to educate them.
But if it were that simple, we would all see things the same way. ๐
As kind as my friends on Twitter were, if they hadn’t actually made their arguments, it would’ve been so much harder for me to see the world in a different way. We are all a product of our upbringing, and our beliefs reflect our experiences. We can’t expect others to spontaneously change their own minds. If we want change, we have to make the case for it.
๐ ๐๐ฒ ๐๐ซ๐ข๐๐ง๐๐ฌ ๐จ๐ง ๐๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐๐ซ ๐๐ข๐๐ง’๐ญ ๐๐๐๐ง๐๐จ๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ข๐ซ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ข๐๐๐ฌ ๐จ๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ข๐ซ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐๐ข๐ฉ๐ฅ๐๐ฌ — ๐จ๐ง๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ข๐ซ ๐ฌ๐๐จ๐ซ๐ง. ๐๐ก๐๐ฒ ๐๐ก๐๐ง๐ง๐๐ฅ๐๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ข๐ซ ๐ข๐ง๐๐ข๐ง๐ข๐ญ๐๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐๐ข๐๐๐ฅ๐ ๐จ๐๐๐๐ง๐ฌ๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐๐ฆ๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฆ๐ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฉ๐จ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐๐ ๐ช๐ฎ๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐ญ๐๐ฆ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐๐ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ค๐ข๐ง๐๐ง๐๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ก๐ฎ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ. ๐๐ก๐๐ฒ ๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐๐๐ก๐๐ ๐ฆ๐ ๐๐ฌ ๐ ๐ก๐ฎ๐ฆ๐๐ง ๐๐๐ข๐ง๐ , ๐๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ฐ๐๐ฌ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐ง๐ฌ๐๐จ๐ซ๐ฆ๐๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ง ๐ญ๐ฐ๐จ ๐๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐ ๐, ๐๐ข๐ฌ๐๐๐ข๐ง ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฏ๐ข๐จ๐ฅ๐๐ง๐๐.” ๐
โค๏ธ ๐๐…๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐?! โค๏ธ
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