Why Fear OVERSTAYS Its Welcome! (PERSONAL)

👊 FEAR HAS OVERSTAYED ITS WELCOME! 👊

I’ve been afraid of rejection. ❌

I’ve been afraid of being misunderstood. 👤

I’ve been afraid of not belonging. 😨

Fear has spoken to me on MANY occasions, always knocking on the door of my mental home, including the very moment before I broke this board at#GYLS2019. 🏠

Fear is the primal instinct that lies within us all, the emotion which once used to be a necessity for our ancestor’s very survival. 💯

But here, now in our modern society, Fear has long overstayed its welcome. 👍

👊 FEAR HAS OVERSTAYED ITS WELCOME! 👊

Why? Because so many of us are now living in a day and age we’re no longer struggling to get our basic needs met. We’re no longer face-to-face with Death the way our ancestors were. 👥

I always remember this when I talk to my grandmother about her past and what she had to go through in her life. 👵

As a child, she didn’t know when she would get her next meal. Her family couldn’t always afford enough food for every child. She told me how hard it was on her mother not being able to afford to feel all her children an adequate meal. 😔

I compare the life she had to the ones many of us are privileged to live today, the amount of food and options we have available to us today, not a thought in our mind on whether we will get dinner or not. 🥗

It’s why every time I go to her house she offers me more food than I will ever eat. And when I tell her I’m full, she always will eventually offer me dessert! 🍪

You could say: “That’s just what grandmas do!” But I also remind myself she had a very different upbringing, one which most of us have never had to experience. She was raised in a time where she had no choice but to learn firsthand the value of not taking what she was given for granted.

It’s no wonder why today she’s such a selfless soul in so many areas of her life: she knows what it’s like to have very little, and she never wanted that for her family ever again. ❤️

I’ve learned a lot from her about being selfless. Hearing about her life’s problems have helped me come to understand the “problems” I complain about today are so minuscule in comparison. Compared to hers, I have it real easy!

One thing I can also assure you: when you open yourself to other perspectives on life, your views will expand in kind.

👊 FEAR HAS OVERSTAYED ITS WELCOME! 👊

And yet, Fear in our society has found a new home in our lives. But it’s no longer here to help us in getting our basic needs met. It’s migrated into new territory, into far more trivial matters:

😨 Fear our friend is ignoring us because they didn’t text us back

😨 Fear eating food will make us sick because it’s not labeled Organic

😨 Fear not having cell phone reception while traveling

😨 Fear our child won’t get into the prestigious college we want them getting into

These types of “problems” are jokingly referred to today as “First World Problems”. To put it another way: where Fear was once useful for our very survival has now migrated its way into the most trivial matters of our lives.

👊 FEAR HAS OVERSTAYED ITS WELCOME! 👊

It’s not to say Fear isn’t an important emotion or that we should get rid of it altogether. It’s to simply say Fear is not required in the same way it use to be. 👍

It doesn’t have to be inside our mental homes so much anymore. 😊

We are blessed to live in a day and age where the “problems” we care about today pale in comparison to the ones our ancestors once had to deal with. 🤲

And that’s why I punched through that board: because I decided trivial “problems” weren’t going to run my life anymore! Moments before breaking it I wrote on it “Fear of Rejection” and put an X right through it!

👊 FEAR HAS OVERSTAYED ITS WELCOME! 👊

I’m not saying goodbye to Fear forever. I will happily welcome Fear back the day a life-or-death situation actually arises. But for now, I let Fear know I’m staying in charge.

I am in charge of Fear! Fear is not in charge of me! 💪

💥 BOOM! 💥

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How I FIND Experiences! (PERSONAL)

I’ve had moments in my life that have truly touched me. ❤️

I’ve cried many a times just from the sheer beauty this life can offer. I’ve lost track of every time I looked up to the sky and felt the glory to which I don’t completely understand. 🌌

Call it Grace. Call it Divine. I’m not a religious person myself, but I call it Profound. 💬

But I’m not too concerned about giving it a label. What I’m trying to say is I truly believe there are experiences in our lives for which words will never fully do them justice. I can describe these moment to you all to the very best of my intellectual ability. But even then, it in some odd way comes up short. ✍️

So many of life’s experiences, I’ll tell you, have simply got to be lived. To be felt. To surrender yourself to. To give yourself 100% permission to experience. 🙌

Why? Because there’s a different form of understanding of life to be found within the emotional, subjective experience. ❤️

Don’t get me wrong, I still love the Intellectual part of me too! I still enjoy science, logic, critical thinking, and analyzing life with all its complexities. It’s just that simultaneously I also enjoy the Emotional part of me for the hidden gems offered within it! 😁

❤️ The feelings of gratitude.

❤️ The feelings of being loved.

❤️ The feelings of loving another.

❤️ The feelings of awe at the vastness of our universe.

When you think about it, so much of our lives are driven by emotion! It’s not to say I let my emotions run wild, but that I acknowledge all my emotions as a human being. Then I consciously choose the ones I willingly wish to express. 🗣️

And I just love expressing the ones which produce these feelings of profundity. Pun intended, it just feels so damn good! 😂

Because once you start having these kinds of experiences I’m referring to, allowing yourself to feel them with every fiber of your being, you never want them to end! 💯

You’ll start to look for more ways to experience them over and over again. For me, I keep finding these experiences happening again and again through Contribution. 🙌

🌟 Give more to others than you will ever receive.

🌟 Focus on what you can Give and not what you may Get.

🌟 Trust your actions of contribution will have a Ripple Effect in ways you may never see, but that you nevertheless made a mark on the world.

What you receive in return is, trust me, more than words can describe! 👍

Why Learning Isn’t EVERYTHING!

🌟 IT’S NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU INGEST, BUT WHAT YOU DIGEST! 🌟

“I’ve read 100 books on the subject!” 🗣️

“I have 5 Certifications!” 🗣️

“I have 3 Masters Degrees!” 🗣️

Having expertise in a subject is without a doubt important. Like we wouldn’t want toddlers performing open heart surgery or dogs flying helicopters, right?! 🤣

But what I’m getting at is just because someone learns a lot doesn’t automatically mean they know more. 😲

📌 You can read hundreds of books on a subject, yet never use what you read.

📌 You can earn a certification, yet not remember the very information which got you certified in the first place.

📌 You can go to college and receive a degree, yet never use the skills you developed.

Let me ask you a question: for all the school tests you ever took, how much information from the tests do you remember? 🤔

80%? 50%? Nothing?! You’re not alone! 😅

🌟 IT’S NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU INGEST, BUT WHAT YOU DIGEST! 🌟

It’s not about how much you know; it’s about how much you use. It’s not about the amount of information you receive; it’s about what you use with the information you receive. 🙌

It’s the reason why I’ll read the same book twice, why I’ll listen to an online course multiple times, why I’ll re-read notes from seminars I’ve attended. 📚

Because I can assure you: unless you have a photographic memory, you don’t retain every piece of information you learn just from hearing it once. 👍

You don’t lift a few weights at the gym and suddenly are fit for life. You need to keep going back to the gym to maintain the muscles you’ve already built. 🏋️

And the same goes for your mental muscles. You need to keep learning and building on what you’ve already learned. Otherwise, like a muscle, it deteriorates. 🧠

Repetition and application are keys! 🔑

🌟 IT’S NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU INGEST, BUT WHAT YOU DIGEST! 🌟

After all, why do you think I keep repeating this same sentence over and over again? 😉

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How We’re CONNECTED! (PERSONAL)

🙌 YOU CANNOT GIVE WHAT YOU DO NOT HAVE. 🙌

This past week I volunteered at the Group Youth Leadership Summit in San Diego, serving over 350 youth, ages 14 to 16, from 31 countries! 😲

From Australia to Malaysia to Kenya, participants came from many different backgrounds, lifestyles, and cultures. 🌎

All from different places, yet we as volunteers came together for a purpose bigger than ourselves: to inspire, liberate, and create breakthroughs for the next generation of leaders! And in the process, many (including myself) experienced breakthroughs of our own! 👣

Sure we may be different: in age, in height, in background. But yet we’re also very much alike. Don’t think so? Society loves to focus on how we’re different, how separate and divided we stand, why we should fear each other and our neighbors. ↔️

But I’ll tell you one thing that unites us all, something that will never be divided: our common humanity. What it means to be human. What it means to love. ❤️

This past week we created an event for future leaders to realize they’re not alone in this world and provide them the space to open up about their deepest hopes and fears. Some don’t have a place at home to be open like this, so it’s even more a blessing we offer it for them here. 🙌

Fear of not being accepted? 😨

“We all relate.” ❤️

Fear of not being good enough? 😨

“We all relate.” ❤️

Fear of not succeeding in life? 😨

“We all relate.” ❤️

We let them all know honestly and sincerely: we all relate. It’s part of being human. 🤲

I wish I knew the stuff the kids were learning when I was their age! I wish I had attended a place like this when I was younger! 😅

A key principle the youth learned last week: You cannot give what you do not have. As a leader, you cannot lead unless you also lead yourself first. If you’re not 100% for yourself, you can’t be 100% for others. You can only give what you already have. 💯

To change the world you first have to change yourself, not the other way around. Gandhi said: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” It starts and ends with us all: the growth of us as individuals. Let’s begin…! ❤️ #GYLS2019