BOOK REVIEW: White Fragility

This book is being recommended like mad at the moment! đŸ€Ż
It has been #1 on the New York Times Bestseller List for 12 weeks straight and #1 on Amazon Charts for 3 weeks straight. I decided to buy a copy on Kindle and was genuinely expecting to learn something new.
First, let me share what I wholeheartedly agree with in the book. ❀
📌 đ„đŠđ©đšđ­đĄđČ, đœđšđŠđ©đšđŹđŹđąđšđ§, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 đźđ§đđžđ«đŹđ­đšđ§đđąđ§đ  đšđ«đž 𝐬𝐹 đąđŠđ©đšđ«đ­đšđ§đ­.
We’ve all had different lives, different life experiences, so everyone has the potential to teach us something. Some of us have had privileges and opportunities others have never had. Some of us have experienced forms of suffering others cannot even begin to fathom.
So is important we continue to develop our emotional intelligence so we can stay aware how our actions and ignorance can unintentionally influence and affect how we treat other people.
📌 đƒđžđŻđžđ„đšđ©đąđ§đ  đŹđžđ„đŸ đšđ°đšđ«đžđ§đžđŹđŹ 𝐱𝐬 đšđ›đŹđšđ„đźđ­đžđ„đČ đœđ«đźđœđąđšđ„.
We all carry unconscious prejudices and biases, even when we think we don’t. When we’re not aware of these things, we will project them out onto the world without even being consciously aware we’re doing so.
A fantastic book that discusses these concepts more in-depth using psychology experiments is “Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me)” by Carol Tavris.
𝐍𝐹𝐰, 𝐰𝐱𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐱𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐚𝐱𝐝…
This book notes from the beginning it is going to be “unapologetically rooted in identity politics”.
(In the same tradition, I should note to you I am reviewing this book as a Liberal, Hispanic, Gay Male with 3 clinically diagnosed mental disorders including Autism.)
𝘛𝘰 𝘹đ˜Șđ˜·đ˜Š đ˜”đ˜©đ˜Š 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬 đ˜Șđ˜”đ˜Ž đ˜€đ˜łđ˜Šđ˜„đ˜Șđ˜”, 𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘾 đ˜Șđ˜” 𝘼𝘩𝘱𝘯𝘮 𝘾𝘩𝘭𝘭 𝘾đ˜Șđ˜”đ˜© đ˜Șđ˜”đ˜Ž đ˜Șđ˜Żđ˜”đ˜Šđ˜Żđ˜”đ˜Ș𝘰𝘯 đ˜ąđ˜Żđ˜„ đ˜Șđ˜”đ˜Ž đ˜±đ˜łđ˜Šđ˜Žđ˜Šđ˜Żđ˜”đ˜ąđ˜”đ˜Ș𝘰𝘯.
It begins with a Red Pill trope in which the author shares a growing realization she’s had about white people over the course of her career when it comes to talking about racial issues. đŸ˜Č
For every white person she’s spoken with, she’s noticed some white people get particularly defensive with her. 😠
She wanted to understand why, and with this book she without a doubt believes she’s found the answer: đ˜žđ˜©đ˜Șđ˜”đ˜Š đ˜±đ˜Šđ˜°đ˜±đ˜­đ˜Š đ˜šđ˜Šđ˜” đ˜„đ˜Šđ˜§đ˜Šđ˜Żđ˜Žđ˜Șđ˜·đ˜Š đ˜Łđ˜Šđ˜€đ˜ąđ˜¶đ˜Žđ˜Š 𝘰𝘧 đ˜žđ˜©đ˜ąđ˜” đ˜Žđ˜©đ˜Š đ˜”đ˜Šđ˜łđ˜źđ˜Ž “đ˜žđ˜©đ˜Șđ˜”đ˜Š 𝘧𝘳𝘱𝘹đ˜Ș𝘭đ˜Șđ˜”đ˜ș”.
DiAngelo presents the following arguments:
📖 White people are defensive about being called “racist” because they cannot accept their “whiteness”, their repressed feelings of “white superiority and entitlement”.
📖 “Racism” is not the Dictionary’s definition. In her definition, it is not limited to discriminatory acts towards people based on the color of their skin.
In her definition, racism is like a disease, ingrained and embedded in everything: our society, our cultures, our institutions, and our souls. (Look up “concept creep” to understand more about expanded word definitions)
📖 We are all racist as the result of living under a white supremacist society. White people need to especially be taught about this because they were born into privilege. They need to realize how blind they are to their whiteness and their racism, even when they don’t think they are.
📖 The ideals of individualism, objectivity, and MLK’s Dream to choose not seeing others based on the color of their skin but on the content of their character are the reasons people have failed to see how deep racism goes.
In the author’s defense, she justifies these broad and sweeping generalizations with little to no evidence based on her being a sociologist. đŸ›Ąïž
That said, I honestly sympathize with any sociologists who do their very best to remain objective and evidence-based in their observations about society. 😱
What surprised me the most reading this book was how the author doesn’t even consider alternate possibilities about the reasoning of white people she sees as possessing “white fragility”. 😕
Did the author even consider the possibility that some white people may have gotten angry with her not because of their “white fragility” but because they strongly disagree with the basic premise of her newly expanded definition on what it means to be “racist”? đŸ€”
Did the author even consider the possibility that her insistence on white people needing to accept their inherent racism and privilege, needing to accept her vast assumptions about mass groups of people based on the color of their skin, not only is hypocritical but fits the very definition of what being “racist” is (at least according to the Dictionary)? đŸ€”
I’m reminded of the psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud and his obsession with seeing every problem his patients had through the lens of some unconscious sexual repression. Everything had to be seen as somehow relating to sex. 😅
In the same way, everything in DiAngelo’s eyes has to be seen as somehow relating to “racism” and “white supremacy”. ✊
I cannot even imagine how a woman would react today if Freud told them they had “penis envy”. Women are not aware of their penis envy, Freud would say, of their enviousness to possess a penis because it is unconscious.
What if we applied this same logic to the author’s main premise?
*𝘐 đ˜€đ˜ąđ˜Żđ˜Żđ˜°đ˜” đ˜Šđ˜·đ˜Šđ˜Ż đ˜Ș𝘼𝘱𝘹đ˜Ș𝘯𝘩 đ˜©đ˜°đ˜ž 𝘱 đ˜žđ˜©đ˜Șđ˜”đ˜Š đ˜±đ˜Šđ˜łđ˜Žđ˜°đ˜Ż đ˜žđ˜°đ˜¶đ˜­đ˜„ đ˜łđ˜Šđ˜ąđ˜€đ˜” đ˜”đ˜°đ˜„đ˜ąđ˜ș đ˜Ș𝘧 𝘋đ˜Ș𝘈𝘯𝘹𝘩𝘭𝘰 đ˜”đ˜°đ˜­đ˜„ đ˜”đ˜©đ˜Šđ˜ź đ˜”đ˜©đ˜Šđ˜ș đ˜©đ˜ąđ˜„ “đ˜žđ˜©đ˜Șđ˜”đ˜Š 𝘧𝘳𝘱𝘹đ˜Ș𝘭đ˜Șđ˜”đ˜ș”. đ˜žđ˜©đ˜Șđ˜”đ˜Š đ˜±đ˜Šđ˜°đ˜±đ˜­đ˜Š 𝘱𝘳𝘩 đ˜Żđ˜°đ˜” 𝘱𝘾𝘱𝘳𝘩 𝘰𝘧 đ˜”đ˜©đ˜Šđ˜Ș𝘳 đ˜žđ˜©đ˜Șđ˜”đ˜Š 𝘧𝘳𝘱𝘹đ˜Ș𝘭đ˜Șđ˜”đ˜ș, 𝘋đ˜Ș𝘈𝘯𝘹𝘩𝘭𝘰 đ˜žđ˜°đ˜¶đ˜­đ˜„ 𝘮𝘱đ˜ș, 𝘰𝘧 đ˜”đ˜©đ˜Šđ˜Ș𝘳 đ˜žđ˜©đ˜Șđ˜”đ˜Š đ˜Žđ˜¶đ˜±đ˜Šđ˜łđ˜Ș𝘰𝘳đ˜Șđ˜”đ˜ș đ˜ąđ˜Żđ˜„ đ˜Šđ˜Żđ˜”đ˜Șđ˜”đ˜­đ˜Šđ˜źđ˜Šđ˜Żđ˜”, đ˜Łđ˜Šđ˜€đ˜ąđ˜¶đ˜Žđ˜Š đ˜Șđ˜” đ˜Ș𝘮 đ˜¶đ˜Żđ˜€đ˜°đ˜Żđ˜Žđ˜€đ˜Șđ˜°đ˜¶đ˜Ž.*
For those already familiar with Woke Culture, I soon realized THIS is one of those books. 😔
Being “woke” has to do with individuals who have experienced emotional feelings of awakening when it comes to social injustice. It’s these same feelings of awakening that make a person think they’re far more “woke” or self-aware than they actually are. 🙌
Compare these same spiritual feelings of realization to the conspiracy theorist who believes they’ve “taken the Red Pill” and is now aware of the corruption of the world. 💊
𝐈𝐧 đšđœđ­đźđšđ„đąđ­đČ, 𝐭𝐡𝐞đČ’𝐯𝐞 đŠđžđ«đžđ„đČ đ­đ«đšđđžđ 𝐹𝐧𝐞 đŸđšđ«đŠ 𝐹𝐟 đąđđžđšđ„đšđ đČ đŸđšđ« 𝐚 đŹđ„đąđ đĄđ­đ„đČ đžđ±đ©đšđ§đđžđ 𝐹𝐧𝐞, 𝐹𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐱𝐜𝐡 𝐧𝐹𝐰 đĄđšđ©đ©đžđ§đŹ 𝐭𝐹 đšđ„đŹđš đąđ§đœđ„đźđđž đ«đšđšđ­đŹ 𝐱𝐧 𝐜đČ𝐧𝐱𝐜𝐱𝐬𝐩 𝐚𝐧𝐝 đđąđŹđ­đ«đźđŹđ­. 😠
I sympathize, as these individuals are not as “conscious” as they think they are. Unfortunately, I’m afraid the same thing has happened with the author here too.
While she promotes skepticism and self-awareness in the book, as well as noting that racial issues are “complex”, at the same time she doesn’t apply these same principles to the conclusions she’s making in the book.
With this book, I am supposed to simply accept the author’s premise about white fragility. In her circular logic, any counterargument against the idea of it (especially when it’s a white person) is only more proof of a white supremacist society. 🔄
This is the same logic as me presenting contrasting evidence to a conspiracy theorist and them saying that’s just proof there’s a conspiracy. (This logical fallacy is also known as “Kafkatrapping”.) 🔄
Simply put, the book takes itself way too seriously in its absolutist claims of racial essentialism. It doesn’t critically consider the possibility that racism is not as rampant as it is made out to be (There’s strong empirical and statistical data which speaks to the contrary).
𝐈𝐭’𝐬 đšđ§đ„đČ 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐼𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 đšđźđ­đĄđšđ« 𝐡𝐚𝐬 đœđ«đžđšđ­đžđ 𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐚𝐧𝐝 đžđ±đ­đ«đžđŠđžđ„đČ đ›đ«đšđšđ, đšđ›đŹđ­đ«đšđœđ­ 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐱𝐧𝐱𝐭𝐱𝐹𝐧 𝐹𝐟 “đ«đšđœđąđŹđŠ” 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐞’𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 đšđ›đ„đž 𝐭𝐹 𝐣𝐼𝐬𝐭𝐱𝐟đČ 𝐼𝐬𝐱𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 đ°đšđ«đ “đ«đšđœđąđŹđŠ” 𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐼𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐹𝐞𝐬. 🙌
Similar to conspiracy theories, I agree with the idea of practicing skepticism. But that’s as far as I agree, especially when the “skepticism” is used to justify an absolute, nonsensical worldview. 👍
Similar to white fragility, I agree with the idea of practicing empathy. But that’s as far as I agree, especially when the “empathy” is used to justify an absolute, nonsensical worldview. 👍
Sigmund Freud got the idea of the unconscious correct. But his circular logic to relate everything back to sex is where his claims falter. 👎
Robin DeAngelo got the idea of empathy correct. But her circular logic to relate everything back to racism and white supremacy is where her claims falter. 👎
𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐭𝐹 𝐝𝐞𝐧đČ 𝐰𝐞 𝐝𝐹𝐧’𝐭 đœđšđ«đ«đČ 𝐼𝐧𝐜𝐹𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐱𝐹𝐼𝐬 đąđŠđ©đźđ„đŹđžđŹ 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐹𝐼𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐱𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 đšđźđ« đ›đžđĄđšđŻđąđšđ«. 𝐖𝐞 𝐝𝐹. 💯
𝐈𝐭’𝐬 đšđ„đŹđš 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐭𝐹 𝐝𝐞𝐧đČ đąđ§đđąđŻđąđđźđšđ„đŹ 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐹𝐭 đœđšđ«đ«đČ đ©đ«đžđŁđźđđąđœđžđŹ 𝐭𝐡𝐞đČ đšđ«đžđ§’𝐭 đœđšđ§đŹđœđąđšđźđŹđ„đČ đšđ°đšđ«đž 𝐹𝐟. 𝐖𝐞 𝐝𝐹. 💯
But the Catch-22 in these areas of study is that any of these virtues can turn into a vice. đŸ’„
For the psychoanalyst, sometimes a cigar…is just a cigar. There’s not always a variable of unconscious sexual explanation. 🙌
For the critical theorist, sometimes a power structure…is just a power structure. There’s not always a variable of oppression. 🙌
Let me add: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 đ©đ«đšđ›đ„đžđŠ 𝐱𝐬 𝐧𝐹𝐭 đžđ§đ­đąđ«đžđ„đČ 𝐰𝐱𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 đ­đĄđžđšđ«đąđžđŹ đ­đĄđžđŠđŹđžđ„đŻđžđŹ. 👍
𝐓𝐡𝐞 đ©đ«đšđ›đ„đžđŠ 𝐱𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 đ­đĄđžđšđ«đąđžđŹ đšđ«đž đ­đšđ€đžđ§ 𝐚𝐬 đ đšđŹđ©đžđ„ïŒŒđźđŹđžđ 𝐛đČ 𝐚 đœđšđ„đ„đžđœđ­đąđŻđž 𝐚𝐬 đšđ„đ„-đžđ§đœđšđŠđ©đšđŹđŹđąđ§đ  đ­đšđšđ„đŹ 𝐹𝐟 đžđ©đąđŹđ­đžđŠđšđ„đšđ đČ, 𝐚 “𝐔𝐧𝐱𝐟𝐱𝐞𝐝 đ“đĄđžđšđ«đČ 𝐹𝐟 đ„đŻđžđ«đČ𝐭𝐡𝐱𝐧𝐠”.
𝐁𝐼𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐼𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞đČ đšđ«đž 𝐧𝐹𝐭, 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐼𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞đČ đšđ«đž đ„đąđŠđąđ­đžđ 𝐱𝐧 đŹđœđšđ©đž, đžđŹđ©đžđœđąđšđ„đ„đČ 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 đšđ©đ©đ„đąđžđ đąđ§đœđšđ«đ«đžđœđ­đ„đČ, 𝐚 đœđšđ„đ„đžđœđ­đąđŻđž 𝐩𝐼𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐞 đŻđžđ«đČ đœđšđ«đžđŸđźđ„ 𝐱𝐧 𝐧𝐹𝐭 𝐭𝐹 𝐼𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐩 𝐚𝐬 𝐓𝐡𝐞 đ”đ„đ­đąđŠđšđ­đž đ’đšđ„đźđ­đąđšđ§ 𝐭𝐹 đžđŻđžđ«đČ𝐭𝐡𝐱𝐧𝐠. 🌎
My biggest concern is how popular this book currently is on Amazon, as well as with other books focused on Antiracism.
𝘐𝘯 đ˜”đ˜Ș𝘼𝘩𝘮 𝘰𝘧 đ˜Žđ˜”đ˜łđ˜Šđ˜Žđ˜Ž đ˜ąđ˜Żđ˜„ 𝘱𝘯đ˜čđ˜Șđ˜Šđ˜”đ˜ș, đ˜±đ˜Šđ˜°đ˜±đ˜­đ˜Š 𝘱𝘳𝘩 𝘧𝘱𝘳 𝘼𝘰𝘳𝘩 đ˜Șđ˜źđ˜±đ˜łđ˜Šđ˜Žđ˜Žđ˜Ș𝘰𝘯𝘱𝘣𝘭𝘩 đ˜”đ˜° đ˜Šđ˜źđ˜Łđ˜łđ˜ąđ˜€đ˜Š đ˜Șđ˜„đ˜Šđ˜ąđ˜Ž đ˜łđ˜Šđ˜šđ˜ąđ˜łđ˜„đ˜­đ˜Šđ˜Žđ˜Ž 𝘰𝘧 đ˜”đ˜©đ˜Šđ˜Ș𝘳 đ˜Șđ˜Żđ˜”đ˜Šđ˜­đ˜­đ˜Šđ˜€đ˜”đ˜¶đ˜ąđ˜­ đ˜·đ˜ąđ˜­đ˜Șđ˜„đ˜Șđ˜”đ˜ș. 𝘐𝘯 đ˜”đ˜Ș𝘼𝘩𝘮 𝘰𝘧 đ˜Žđ˜”đ˜łđ˜Šđ˜Žđ˜Ž, đ˜±đ˜Šđ˜°đ˜±đ˜­đ˜Š 𝘱𝘳𝘩 𝘭𝘩𝘮𝘮 𝘭đ˜Ș𝘬𝘩𝘭đ˜ș đ˜”đ˜° đ˜€đ˜łđ˜Șđ˜”đ˜Șđ˜€đ˜ąđ˜­đ˜­đ˜ș đ˜”đ˜©đ˜Ș𝘯𝘬 đ˜ąđ˜Żđ˜„ 𝘧𝘱𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘳 đ˜”đ˜©đ˜Š đ˜źđ˜°đ˜Žđ˜” đ˜Žđ˜°đ˜€đ˜Ș𝘱𝘭𝘭đ˜ș đ˜ąđ˜€đ˜€đ˜Šđ˜±đ˜”đ˜ąđ˜Łđ˜­đ˜Š đ˜°đ˜±đ˜”đ˜Ș𝘰𝘯𝘮 đ˜Łđ˜Šđ˜€đ˜ąđ˜¶đ˜Žđ˜Š đ˜Șđ˜” đ˜±đ˜łđ˜°đ˜·đ˜Șđ˜„đ˜Šđ˜Ž đ˜Šđ˜Šđ˜łđ˜”đ˜ąđ˜Șđ˜Żđ˜”đ˜ș đ˜”đ˜° đ˜€đ˜©đ˜ąđ˜°đ˜”đ˜Șđ˜€ 𝘮đ˜Șđ˜”đ˜¶đ˜ąđ˜”đ˜Ș𝘰𝘯𝘮. 😹
𝐈𝐭’𝐬 đšđ„đŹđš 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐩𝐞 𝐰𝐚đČ đœđšđ§đŹđ©đąđ«đšđœđČ đ­đĄđžđšđ«đąđžđŹ 𝐚𝐧𝐝 đ›đ„đšđœđ€-𝐚𝐧𝐝-𝐰𝐡𝐱𝐭𝐞 đ­đĄđąđ§đ€đąđ§đ  𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐹𝐩𝐞 𝐝𝐹𝐩𝐱𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐱𝐧 𝐚 đœđšđ„đ„đžđœđ­đąđŻđž.
My concern is books like these are not going to be critically analyzed or questioned because of our current times, despite their many flaws and overly simplistic lens in which to see ourselves and others. 😹
If you embrace critical theory and/or the basic premise we live in a society which is systemically and institutionally racist, this book will be right up your alley.
But if you’re looking for a book that’s intellectually honest, thoughtful in its arguments, contains nuance, and complexity, I suggest steering very clear of this one.
𝐓𝐡𝐱𝐬 đ›đšđšđ€ 𝐱𝐬 đŠđšđ«đž đšđ€đąđ§ 𝐭𝐹 đ«đžđ„đąđ đąđšđźđŹ đ›đžđ„đąđžđŸ, 𝐧𝐹𝐭 𝐹𝐟 đžđ©đąđŹđ­đžđŠđąđœ đ­đ«đźđ­đĄ. 𝐈𝐭 𝐬𝐚đČ𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐱𝐭𝐞 đ©đžđšđ©đ„đž 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐹 đœđšđ§đ­đąđ§đźđšđ„đ„đČ 𝐚𝐭𝐹𝐧𝐞 đŸđšđ« 𝐭𝐡𝐞 đšđ«đąđ đąđ§đšđ„ 𝐬𝐱𝐧 𝐹𝐟 𝐛𝐞𝐱𝐧𝐠 đ›đšđ«đ§ 𝐰𝐡𝐱𝐭𝐞 𝐱𝐧 𝐚 𝐰𝐡𝐱𝐭𝐞 đŹđźđ©đ«đžđŠđšđœđąđŹđ­ 𝐬𝐹𝐜𝐱𝐞𝐭đČ. 𝐈𝐟 đČ𝐹𝐼 𝐝𝐹𝐧’𝐭 đšđ đ«đžđž 𝐰𝐱𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐱𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐱𝐜 đ©đ«đžđŠđąđŹđž, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 đ›đšđšđ€ 𝐱𝐬 đ©đ«đžđ­đ­đČ 𝐩𝐼𝐜𝐡 đźđŹđžđ„đžđŹđŹ.
Racism is a problem I will continue to address and combat through empathy, compassion, and understanding of us as a common humanity. ❀
If that makes me “racist”, according to DiAngelo’s definition, than apparently I am! 😝
Unfortunately this book, which as of late is being praised to the highest of heavens as some masterpiece, I predict is going to add far more to the problem than it will to the solution. 𝐀𝐭 𝐱𝐭𝐬 đ°đšđ«đŹđ­, 𝐱𝐭 𝐱𝐬 đœđšđźđ§đ­đžđ«đ©đ«đšđđźđœđ­đąđŻđž 𝐱𝐧 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐱𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐹 𝐭𝐡𝐞 đŻđžđ«đČ đ«đšđœđąđŹđŠ 𝐱𝐭 đŹđžđžđ€đŹ 𝐭𝐹 đšđ›đšđ„đąđŹđĄ.
Or maybe, that’s just my “white fragility” talking…đŸ€·â€â™‚ïž

BOOK SUMMARY 📖: The Coddling of the American Mind

In September of 2015, an article written by Jonathan Haidt and Greg Lukianoff was published in The Atlantic titled “The Coddling of the American Mind.” 📰

At first glance, the title of this article could easily be mistaken for a right-wing polemic on “the snowflake generation” and “social justice warriors”. đŸ€Ź

But it’s far from it! In fact, the authors themselves are openly left-leaning in their political views! 💯

It was the insistence of their publisher asking for a more provocative title than the one they proposed that “Coddling” was born. ( 😅

Initially, the article was written to discuss various instances happening on college campuses where students were protesting words, ideas, and subjects they deemed offensive. ✊

📌 Guest speakers who were coming to campus were being disrupted and shouted down.

📌 Ideas like “microaggressions”, “trigger warnings”, and “safe spaces” were being introduced and implemented by college administrators.

📌 Words were starting to be equated by some college students as “violence”.

📌 Colleges were catering to student’s demands with little critical discussion.

The point of Haidt and Lukianoff’s article was to illuminate the problems and to try and understand why they were occurring. 🙌

Haidt and Lukianoff could understand the measures being taken by colleges, measures such as Microaggression Training, were being done with good intentions. 👍

But coming from his work as a social psychologist, Haidt saw these measures as being đœđšđźđ§đ­đžđ«đ©đ«đšđđźđœđ­đąđŻđž 𝐭𝐹 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐱𝐜 𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐹𝐟 đŠđšđđžđ«đ§ 𝐏𝐬đČđœđĄđšđ„đšđ đČ.

⚠ The idea of “microaggressions” go against the very idea of not making the worst possible assumptions of other peoples’ intentions (a cognitive distortion known as “mind reading”).

⚠ The idea of “trigger warnings” and “safe spaces” go against the very methods used in Exposure Therapy to combat phobias and feelings of anxiety.

⚠ The idea of continuously giving into angry student’s demands reinforces the likelihood they will use the same angry methods for demands in the future.

With the publication of the article, the reception was…controversial! 😅

Many readers, including college faculty and students, sent in responses confirming Haidt and Lukianoff’s concerns. 👍

Both faculty members and college students expressed fears of being unable to share their different viewpoints outside the status quo of their peers, less they not be reported to college administrators. đŸ”±

Haidt and Lukianoff learned that some colleges had implemented a “Bias Reporting System”, where students could anonymously report anyone (including faculty) for sharing views they perceived to be discriminatory. 🚹

𝐓𝐡𝐱𝐬 𝐱𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐹𝐟 đąđ­đŹđžđ„đŸ 𝐝𝐱𝐬𝐱𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐱𝐯𝐱𝐳𝐞𝐬 đ©đžđšđ©đ„đž 𝐭𝐹 đŹđ­đšđ© đŹđĄđšđ«đąđ§đ  đđąđŸđŸđžđ«đąđ§đ  đšđ©đąđ§đąđšđ§đŹ 𝐹𝐼𝐭 𝐹𝐟 đŸđžđšđ« 𝐬𝐹𝐩𝐞𝐹𝐧𝐞 𝐱𝐬 𝐠𝐹𝐱𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐹 đŠđąđŹđąđ§đ­đžđ«đ©đ«đžđ­ đ­đĄđžđąđ« đ°đšđ«đđŹ đšđ« đ«đžđ©đšđ«đ­ 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐩. 🚹

That said, there were also criticisms to Haidt and Lukianoff’s article as well. 👈

The primary criticism was that the authors were using only a few isolated incidents to justify their national concerns. In other words, they were inciting a moral panic over a minor problem. 😅


Only a month after the article’s publication did another college incident happen. And then another. And then another. And then another. 🚹

One of the most infamous incidents happened 2 months later at Yale University. đŸ˜±

Erika Christakis, a lecturer at Yale Child Study Care Center had written an email expressing concern over whether Yale administrators should be giving guidance to students about appropriate and inappropriate Halloween costumes. 📧

She believed administrators should let the students make their own decisions and let them talk among each other if they had disagreements. đŸ—Łïž

After all, they are adults over 18 years old. 👍

“𝘛𝘱𝘭𝘬 đ˜”đ˜° đ˜Šđ˜ąđ˜€đ˜© đ˜°đ˜”đ˜©đ˜Šđ˜łâ€, she noted in her email. “𝘍𝘳𝘩𝘩 đ˜Žđ˜±đ˜Šđ˜Šđ˜€đ˜© đ˜ąđ˜Żđ˜„ đ˜”đ˜©đ˜Š 𝘱𝘣đ˜Ș𝘭đ˜Șđ˜”đ˜ș đ˜”đ˜° đ˜”đ˜°đ˜­đ˜Šđ˜łđ˜ąđ˜”đ˜Š 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘩𝘯𝘮𝘩 𝘱𝘳𝘩 đ˜”đ˜©đ˜Š đ˜©đ˜ąđ˜­đ˜­đ˜źđ˜ąđ˜łđ˜Źđ˜Ž 𝘰𝘧 𝘱 𝘧𝘳𝘩𝘩 đ˜ąđ˜Żđ˜„ đ˜°đ˜±đ˜Šđ˜Ż đ˜Žđ˜°đ˜€đ˜Șđ˜Šđ˜”đ˜ș.” 😊

This email sparked outrage from some Yale students who interpreted Erika’s words as meaning she supported racist Halloween costumes. ❗

Soon after, around 150 student protesters surrounded the courtyard of Christakis’s home on campus, writing statements in chalk which included: “𝙒𝙚 đ™ đ™Łđ™€đ™Ź 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 đ™źđ™€đ™Ș đ™Ąđ™žđ™«đ™šâ€. 😠

Erika’s husband Nicholas went out to the courtyard to try and reason with them. Students demanded he apologize and renounce his wife’s email. đŸ€Ź

In a tense confrontation which lasted over 2 hours, Nicholas was accused of being “racist”, “offensive”, and “creating a space for violence”. đŸ€Ź

At a later point, one student even screamed in Nicholas’s face:

“𝙄𝙏 𝙄𝙎 𝙉𝙊𝙏 đ˜Œđ˜œđ™Šđ™đ™ đ˜Ÿđ™đ™€đ˜Œđ™đ™„đ™‰đ™‚ đ˜Œđ™‰ đ™„đ™‰đ™đ™€đ™‡đ™‡đ™€đ˜Ÿđ™đ™đ˜Œđ™‡ đ™Žđ™‹đ˜Œđ˜Ÿđ™€! 𝙄𝙏 𝙄𝙎 đ˜Œđ˜œđ™Šđ™đ™ đ˜Ÿđ™đ™€đ˜Œđ™đ™„đ™‰đ™‚ đ˜Œ 𝙃𝙊𝙈𝙀 𝙃𝙀𝙍𝙀! 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝙎𝙃𝙊𝙐𝙇𝘿 𝙉𝙊𝙏 𝙎𝙇𝙀𝙀𝙋 đ˜Œđ™ 𝙉𝙄𝙂𝙃𝙏! 𝙔𝙊𝙐’𝙍𝙀 𝘿𝙄𝙎𝙂𝙐𝙎𝙏𝙄𝙉𝙂!” đŸ€Ź

(Excerpt footage of the Yale incident:

Similar incidents echoed in the coming years. 📅

Another infamous incident happened at Evergreen State College. Every year the school took part in an Day of Absence tradition where minority students and faculty would voluntarily stay off campus to highlight their campus contributions. 🙌

But in 2017 the tradition was flipped. Administrators decided they would now ask white students and white faculty to voluntarily stay off campus to be educated on race issues. đŸ˜Č

Biology professor Bret Weinstein (who openly identifies as a progressive and left-leaning libertarian) emailed the campus expressing concern over the change. đŸ™‹â€â™‚ïž

Included in his email 📧:

â€œđ˜›đ˜©đ˜Šđ˜łđ˜Š đ˜Ș𝘮 𝘱 đ˜©đ˜¶đ˜šđ˜Š đ˜„đ˜Șđ˜§đ˜§đ˜Šđ˜łđ˜Šđ˜Żđ˜€đ˜Š đ˜Łđ˜Šđ˜”đ˜žđ˜Šđ˜Šđ˜Ż 𝘱 đ˜šđ˜łđ˜°đ˜¶đ˜± 𝘰𝘳 đ˜€đ˜°đ˜ąđ˜­đ˜Șđ˜”đ˜Ș𝘰𝘯 đ˜„đ˜Šđ˜€đ˜Șđ˜„đ˜Ș𝘯𝘹 đ˜”đ˜° đ˜·đ˜°đ˜­đ˜¶đ˜Żđ˜”đ˜ąđ˜łđ˜Ș𝘭đ˜ș đ˜ąđ˜Łđ˜Žđ˜Šđ˜Żđ˜” đ˜”đ˜©đ˜Šđ˜źđ˜Žđ˜Šđ˜­đ˜·đ˜Šđ˜Ž 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘼 𝘱 đ˜Žđ˜©đ˜ąđ˜łđ˜Šđ˜„ đ˜Žđ˜±đ˜ąđ˜€đ˜Š đ˜Ș𝘯 đ˜°đ˜łđ˜„đ˜Šđ˜ł đ˜”đ˜° đ˜©đ˜Șđ˜šđ˜©đ˜­đ˜Șđ˜šđ˜©đ˜” đ˜”đ˜©đ˜Šđ˜Ș𝘳 đ˜·đ˜Șđ˜”đ˜ąđ˜­ đ˜ąđ˜Żđ˜„ đ˜¶đ˜Żđ˜„đ˜Šđ˜łđ˜ąđ˜±đ˜±đ˜łđ˜Šđ˜€đ˜Șđ˜ąđ˜”đ˜Šđ˜„ đ˜łđ˜°đ˜­đ˜Šđ˜Žâ€Šđ˜ąđ˜Żđ˜„ 𝘱 đ˜šđ˜łđ˜°đ˜¶đ˜± đ˜Šđ˜Żđ˜€đ˜°đ˜¶đ˜łđ˜ąđ˜šđ˜Ș𝘯𝘹 đ˜ąđ˜Żđ˜°đ˜”đ˜©đ˜Šđ˜ł đ˜šđ˜łđ˜°đ˜¶đ˜± đ˜”đ˜° 𝘹𝘰 𝘱𝘾𝘱đ˜ș. ⚖

đ˜›đ˜©đ˜Š 𝘧đ˜Șđ˜łđ˜Žđ˜” đ˜Ș𝘮 𝘱 đ˜§đ˜°đ˜łđ˜€đ˜Šđ˜§đ˜¶đ˜­ đ˜€đ˜ąđ˜­đ˜­ đ˜”đ˜° đ˜€đ˜°đ˜Żđ˜Žđ˜€đ˜Șđ˜°đ˜¶đ˜Žđ˜Żđ˜Šđ˜Žđ˜Ž, đ˜žđ˜©đ˜Șđ˜€đ˜© đ˜Ș𝘮, 𝘰𝘧 đ˜€đ˜°đ˜¶đ˜łđ˜Žđ˜Š, đ˜€đ˜łđ˜Șđ˜±đ˜±đ˜­đ˜Ș𝘯𝘹 đ˜”đ˜° đ˜”đ˜©đ˜Š 𝘭𝘰𝘹đ˜Șđ˜€ 𝘰𝘧 đ˜°đ˜±đ˜±đ˜łđ˜Šđ˜Žđ˜Žđ˜Ș𝘰𝘯. đ˜›đ˜©đ˜Š đ˜Žđ˜Šđ˜€đ˜°đ˜Żđ˜„ đ˜Ș𝘮 𝘱 đ˜Žđ˜©đ˜°đ˜ž 𝘰𝘧 đ˜§đ˜°đ˜łđ˜€đ˜Š, đ˜ąđ˜Żđ˜„ 𝘱𝘯 đ˜ąđ˜€đ˜” 𝘰𝘧 đ˜°đ˜±đ˜±đ˜łđ˜Šđ˜Žđ˜Žđ˜Ș𝘰𝘯 đ˜Ș𝘯 đ˜ąđ˜Żđ˜„ 𝘰𝘧 đ˜Șđ˜”đ˜Žđ˜Šđ˜­đ˜§. 🙌

𝘖𝘯𝘩’𝘮 𝘳đ˜Șđ˜šđ˜©đ˜” đ˜”đ˜° đ˜Žđ˜±đ˜Šđ˜ąđ˜Ź – 𝘰𝘳 đ˜”đ˜° 𝘣𝘩 – đ˜źđ˜¶đ˜Žđ˜” đ˜Żđ˜Šđ˜·đ˜Šđ˜ł 𝘣𝘩 đ˜Łđ˜ąđ˜Žđ˜Šđ˜„ 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘬đ˜Ș𝘯 đ˜€đ˜°đ˜­đ˜°đ˜ł.” 💯

As with Yale, this email sparked outrage. About a month after his email, students surrounded Weinstein’s classroom entrance and berated him. As with Christakis, students demanded Weinstein denounce his views and lose his job. đŸ€Ź

Campus police were called, but students barred them from reaching Weinstein so they had to call for backup. 🚓

The same student protesters eventually marched to the administration building, surrounded the College President’s office, and provided him the same beratement. đŸ€Ź

There was even a point where student protesters barricaded the main entrances to the administration building and refused to let President Bridges leave his office unless they escorted him. ❗

𝐓𝐡𝐱𝐬 đąđ§đœđ„đźđđžđ 𝐡𝐱𝐩 𝐛𝐞𝐱𝐧𝐠 đžđŹđœđšđ«đ­đžđ 𝐭𝐹 𝐭𝐡𝐞 đ›đšđ­đĄđ«đšđšđŠ. ❗

(Excerpt footage of the Evergreen incident:

For even more protest instances, I’ve provided Sources at the bottom of this post. âŹ‡ïž

So perhaps, you may have the same question I was also asking
 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐱𝐬 𝐠𝐹𝐱𝐧𝐠 𝐹𝐧?! 😅

What initially started out as a small article in The Atlantic was now having its initial concerns realized. 🙌

By September 2018, Haidt and Lukianoff had far more incidents and insights to report on, which ultimately was to become their full-length book: “The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas are Setting up a Generation for Failure”. 📖

But before I get to the book, it’s important we back up for just a moment

First off, what is the purpose of a university? What is the aim (or đ˜”đ˜Šđ˜­đ˜°đ˜Ž) of a university? đŸ€”

Most people I know would say it is to learn. To pursue truth. And yes, perhaps to also enjoy the frat parties! 😜

But this idea is even shown on the crests of universities like Harvard (â€œđ˜·đ˜Šđ˜łđ˜Șđ˜”đ˜ąđ˜Žâ€/truth) and Yale (â€œđ˜­đ˜¶đ˜č đ˜Šđ˜” đ˜·đ˜Šđ˜łđ˜Șđ˜”đ˜ąđ˜Žâ€/light and truth)! 😅

The point is: we go to a university to be enlightened, to be exposed to new ideas and viewpoints, to be among other students who may have different life experiences we can learn from. 🙌

𝐓𝐡𝐞 đœđšđ§đœđžđ«đ§ 𝐱𝐬 đźđ§đąđŻđžđ«đŹđąđ­đąđžđŹ đšđ«đž đŸđšđ„đ„đąđ§đ  𝐚𝐰𝐚đČ đŸđ«đšđŠ 𝐚 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒐𝒔 𝐹𝐟 đ­đ«đźđ­đĄ 𝐱𝐧 đŸđšđŻđšđ« 𝐹𝐟 đœđšđ­đžđ«đąđ§đ  𝐭𝐹 𝐚 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒐𝒔 𝐹𝐟 đŹđšđœđąđšđ„ 𝐣𝐼𝐬𝐭𝐱𝐜𝐞 𝐛đČ 𝐬𝐭𝐼𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬. 🙌

Let me emphasize: đ­đĄđžđ«đžâ€™đŹ 𝐧𝐹𝐭𝐡𝐱𝐧𝐠 đąđ§đ­đ«đąđ§đŹđąđœđšđ„đ„đČ đ°đ«đšđ§đ  𝐰𝐱𝐭𝐡 đŹđšđœđąđšđ„ 𝐣𝐼𝐬𝐭𝐱𝐜𝐞. But when it becomes a substitute for truth and knowledge, it sets a dangerous precedent on the very purpose of what attending a university is all about. đŸ«

In the book, Haidt and Lukianoff go into greater depth on what they see being taught on some college campuses.

The key word here I want to emphasize is “𝐬𝐹𝐩𝐞”. The initial criticism directed at their article about overgeneralizing every college in fact turned out to be correct. 😅

So, for those who are concerned these incidents are reflective of every US college campus, you can be assured they are not! 😅

👉 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐱𝐧𝐜𝐱𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬, đ°đĄđąđ„đž đąđ§đœđ«đžđšđŹđąđ§đ  𝐱𝐧 đ§đźđŠđ›đžđ«, 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 đŠđšđŹđ­đ„đČ 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 đąđŹđšđ„đšđ­đžđ 𝐭𝐹 đžđ„đąđ­đž đ„đąđ›đžđ«đšđ„ đšđ«đ­đŹ đœđšđ„đ„đžđ đžđŹ. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 đąđ«đšđ§đČ 𝐱𝐬 𝐩𝐹𝐬𝐭 𝐹𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐱𝐧𝐜𝐱𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 đšđ„đŹđš đĄđšđ©đ©đžđ§đžđ 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐹𝐬𝐭 đ©đ«đšđ đ«đžđŹđŹđąđŻđž đŹđœđĄđšđšđ„đŹ 𝐱𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 đœđšđźđ§đ­đ«đČ. 👈

In the book, Haidt and Lukianoff talk about what’s being taught at them in what they call the Three Great Untruths.

🙌 đ†đ«đžđšđ­ đ”đ§đ­đ«đźđ­đĄ 𝐹𝐟 đ…đ«đšđ đąđ„đąđ­đČ: 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐹𝐞𝐬𝐧’𝐭 đ€đąđ„đ„ đČ𝐹𝐼 đŠđšđ€đžđŹ đČ𝐹𝐼 đ°đžđšđ€đžđ«.

𝘗𝘮đ˜șđ˜€đ˜©đ˜°đ˜­đ˜°đ˜šđ˜ș 𝘗𝘳đ˜Șđ˜Żđ˜€đ˜Șđ˜±đ˜­đ˜Š 𝘝đ˜Șđ˜°đ˜­đ˜ąđ˜”đ˜Šđ˜„: đ˜—đ˜Šđ˜°đ˜±đ˜­đ˜Š 𝘱𝘳𝘩 â€˜đ˜ąđ˜Żđ˜”đ˜Ș𝘧𝘳𝘱𝘹đ˜Ș𝘭𝘩’; 𝘾𝘩 𝘹𝘳𝘰𝘾 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘼 𝘼𝘱𝘬đ˜Ș𝘯𝘹 𝘼đ˜Șđ˜Žđ˜”đ˜ąđ˜Źđ˜Šđ˜Ž đ˜ąđ˜Żđ˜„ 𝘧𝘱đ˜Șđ˜­đ˜¶đ˜łđ˜Šđ˜Ž.

🙌 đ†đ«đžđšđ­ đ”đ§đ­đ«đźđ­đĄ 𝐹𝐟 đ„đŠđšđ­đąđšđ§đšđ„ 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐹𝐧𝐱𝐧𝐠: đ€đ„đ°đšđČ𝐬 đ­đ«đźđŹđ­ đČđšđźđ« đŸđžđžđ„đąđ§đ đŹ.

𝘗𝘮đ˜șđ˜€đ˜©đ˜°đ˜­đ˜°đ˜šđ˜ș 𝘗𝘳đ˜Șđ˜Żđ˜€đ˜Șđ˜±đ˜­đ˜Š 𝘝đ˜Șđ˜°đ˜­đ˜ąđ˜”đ˜Šđ˜„: 𝘞𝘩 𝘱𝘳𝘩 𝘱𝘭𝘭 đ˜±đ˜łđ˜°đ˜Żđ˜Š đ˜”đ˜° đ˜Šđ˜źđ˜°đ˜”đ˜Ș𝘰𝘯𝘱𝘭 𝘳𝘩𝘱𝘮𝘰𝘯đ˜Ș𝘯𝘹 đ˜ąđ˜Żđ˜„ đ˜”đ˜©đ˜Š đ˜€đ˜°đ˜Żđ˜§đ˜Șđ˜łđ˜źđ˜ąđ˜”đ˜Ș𝘰𝘯 𝘣đ˜Ș𝘱𝘮.

🙌 đ†đ«đžđšđ­ đ”đ§đ­đ«đźđ­đĄ 𝐹𝐟 𝐔𝐬 đ•đžđ«đŹđźđŹ 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐩: 𝐋𝐱𝐟𝐞 𝐱𝐬 𝐚 đ›đšđ­đ­đ„đž 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐠𝐹𝐹𝐝 đ©đžđšđ©đ„đž 𝐚𝐧𝐝 đžđŻđąđ„ đ©đžđšđ©đ„đž.

𝘗𝘮đ˜șđ˜€đ˜©đ˜°đ˜­đ˜°đ˜šđ˜ș 𝘗𝘳đ˜Șđ˜Żđ˜€đ˜Șđ˜±đ˜­đ˜Š 𝘝đ˜Șđ˜°đ˜­đ˜ąđ˜”đ˜Šđ˜„: 𝘞𝘩 𝘱𝘳𝘩 𝘱𝘭𝘭 đ˜±đ˜łđ˜°đ˜Żđ˜Š đ˜”đ˜° đ˜”đ˜łđ˜Ș𝘣𝘱𝘭đ˜Ș𝘮𝘼 đ˜ąđ˜Żđ˜„ đ˜„đ˜Șđ˜€đ˜©đ˜°đ˜”đ˜°đ˜źđ˜°đ˜¶đ˜Ž (đ˜Łđ˜­đ˜ąđ˜€đ˜Ź-đ˜ąđ˜Żđ˜„-đ˜žđ˜©đ˜Șđ˜”đ˜Š) đ˜”đ˜©đ˜Ș𝘯𝘬đ˜Ș𝘯𝘹.

Now of course, the authors are NOT saying these Great Untruths are LITERALLY being taught, but that they are taught IMPLICITLY. 🙌

Another big problem they mention is what’s known as “concept creep”, where the definition of words have grossly expanded in meaning over time in academia. 📚

📍 The idea of what constitutes “racism” has expanded from individual acts to now include an all-encompassing society (e.g. systemic racism, racial essentialism).

📍 The idea of what constitutes “trauma” has expanded from severe reactions to events like war to now normal aspects of life (e.g. divorce, bereavement, mean text messages).

📍 The idea of what constitutes “safety” has expanded from physical safety to now include “emotional safety” (e.g protection from criticisms you disagree with).

In other words: if you see 2 people fighting over what is or isn’t “violence”, there’s a great possibility they may be using 2 separate definitions of the word! 😅

The dictionary definition of “violence” is NOT the same definition being used in some academic circles, where speech has also come to be equated with “violence”. đŸ˜Č

As one UC Berkeley alum wrote in an Op-Ed ✍:

“Asking people to maintain peaceful dialogue with those who legitimately do not think their lives matter is a đŻđąđšđ„đžđ§đ­ 𝐚𝐜𝐭.” đŸ€Ź


Great point! That’s what I’m going to talk about right now! 😊

According to Haidt and Lukianoff, they propose the following reasons why they believe these things are happening. âŹ‡ïž

📌 𝐀𝐧 đąđ§đœđ«đžđšđŹđž 𝐱𝐧 đ©đšđ„đąđ­đąđœđšđ„ đ©đšđ„đšđ«đąđłđšđ­đąđšđ§.

– Because of the political climate, liberal colleges have shifted even further to the Left, thus tribalism is quick to ostracize differing viewpoints out of fear and group loyalty.

– This in turn has created distrust and hostility among those further to the Right, who now see colleges as lacking political diversity (in some places the ratio of Liberal to Conservative professors is 17 to 1), which in turn encourages their racial provocations towards the Left (e.g. “social justice warriors”, “snowflake generation”).

📌 đˆđ§đœđ«đžđšđŹđžđ đ«đšđ­đžđŹ 𝐹𝐟 đƒđžđ©đ«đžđŹđŹđąđšđ§ 𝐚𝐧𝐝 đ€đ§đ±đąđžđ­đČ 𝐚𝐩𝐹𝐧𝐠 𝐆𝐞𝐧 𝐙 (đ›đšđ«đ§ đšđŸđ­đžđ« 𝟏𝟗𝟗𝟔).

📌 đđšđ«đšđ§đšđąđ/đĄđžđ„đąđœđšđ©đ­đžđ« đ©đšđ«đžđ§đ­đąđ§đ .

– The paradox is children are safer today in the US more than any other time in history, yet at the same time they are also the most overprotected.

– Overprotection causes children to mature at much older ages. The emotional maturity of an 18 year old today is more equivalent to a 16 year old of the previous generation.

📌 đƒđžđœđ„đąđ§đž 𝐹𝐟 đŸđ«đžđž đ©đ„đšđČ.

– Parents driven by unrealistic fears of strangers and kidnappings (which are extremely rare in comparison to the 70’s and 80’s when it was a problem).

– Overuse of smartphones and social media.

– A rising competitiveness for parents to get their kids into top universities.

📌 đ‚đšđ«đ©đšđ«đšđ­đąđłđšđ­đąđšđ§ 𝐹𝐟 đœđšđ„đ„đžđ đžđŹ.

– Students are treated like customers, so there’s a financial incentive for colleges to continue giving into student’s demands.

– Market pressures to compete with other universities for future students.

– Bureaucratic means of resolving student’s problems may encourage students to become overly dependent on schools to solve their problems.

📌 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐐𝐼𝐞𝐬𝐭 đŸđšđ« 𝐉𝐼𝐬𝐭𝐱𝐜𝐞.

– There’s an ongoing desire for social justice activism.

– Social justice movements can be used to remove barriers to equality of opportunity. But when social justice efforts aim to include fighting for equality of outcome, it’s aiming for an goal which cannot be reached without also violating equal opportunity.

– Correlation does not equal causation. When there is a correlation of an identity group membership with an outcome gap, it does not automatically mean it is evidence of discrimination. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t.

If individuals cannot raise alternative possible causes without also being shouted down, collectively we will not arrive at the most accurate understanding of a problem.




📌 đđ«đžđ©đšđ«đž 𝐭𝐡𝐞 đ‚đĄđąđ„đ đŸđšđ« 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐹𝐚𝐝, 𝐍𝐹𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐹𝐚𝐝 đŸđšđ« 𝐭𝐡𝐞 đ‚đĄđąđ„đ.

– Assume your kids are more capable this month than they were last month.

– Let your kids take more small risks.

– Encourage your child to walk or ride bicycles to and from school at the earliest ages possible.

– Send your children to an overnight summer camp in the woods for a few weeks – without devices.

– Encourage your children to engage in A LOT of “productive disagreement”.

📌 đ˜đšđźđ« đ–đšđ«đŹđ­ 𝐄𝐧𝐞𝐩đČ 𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐹𝐭 đ‡đšđ«đŠ 𝐘𝐹𝐼 𝐚𝐬 𝐌𝐼𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐬 đ˜đšđźđ« 𝐎𝐰𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐹𝐼𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, đ”đ§đ đźđšđ«đđžđ.

– Teach children the basics of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy).

– Teach children mindfulness.

📌 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐱𝐧𝐞 𝐃𝐱𝐯𝐱𝐝𝐱𝐧𝐠 𝐆𝐹𝐹𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 đ„đŻđąđ„ 𝐂𝐼𝐭𝐬 đ“đĄđ«đšđźđ đĄ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 đ‡đžđšđ«đ­ 𝐹𝐟 đ„đŻđžđ«đČ 𝐇𝐼𝐩𝐚𝐧 𝐁𝐞𝐱𝐧𝐠.

– Give people the benefit of the doubt.

– Practice the virtue of “intellectual humility”. Intellectual humility is the recognition that our reasoning is so flawed, so prone to bias, that we can rarely be certain that we are right.

– Look very carefully at how your school handles identity politics.

📌 đ‡đžđ„đ© đ’đœđĄđšđšđ„đŹ 𝐭𝐹 đŽđ©đ©đšđŹđž 𝐭𝐡𝐞 đ†đ«đžđšđ­ đ”đ§đ­đ«đźđ­đĄđŹ.

– Give more recess with less supervision.

– Discourage the use of the word “safe” or “safety” for anything other than physical safety.

– Have a “no devices” policy.

– Cultivate the intellectual virtues (e.g. curiosity, open-mindedness, intellectual humility)

– Teach debate and offer debate club.

– Assign reading and coursework that promote reasoned discussion.

📌 𝐋𝐱𝐩𝐱𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐑𝐞𝐟𝐱𝐧𝐞 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐱𝐜𝐞 𝐓𝐱𝐩𝐞.

– Place clear limits on device time.

– Protect your child’s sleep.

📌 đ’đźđ©đ©đšđ«đ­ 𝐚 𝐍𝐞𝐰 đđšđ­đąđšđ§đšđ„ đđšđ«đŠ: đ’đžđ«đŻđąđœđž đšđ« đ–đšđ«đ€ đđžđŸđšđ«đž đ‚đšđ„đ„đžđ đž.

– Take a “gap year”.

– Encourage volunteer work.



📌 𝐄𝐧𝐭𝐰𝐱𝐧𝐞 đ˜đšđźđ« 𝐈𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐱𝐭đČ 𝐰𝐱𝐭𝐡 đ…đ«đžđžđđšđŠ 𝐹𝐟 𝐈𝐧đȘđźđąđ«đČ.

– Endorse the Chicago Statement (

– Establish a practice of not responding to public outrage.

– Do not allow the “heckler’s veto”.

📌 đđąđœđ€ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐬𝐭 đŒđąđ± 𝐹𝐟 đđžđšđ©đ„đž đŸđšđ« 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐱𝐬𝐬𝐱𝐹𝐧.

– Admit more students who are older and can show evidence of their ability to live independently.

– Admit more students who have attended schools that teach the “intellectual virtues”.

– Include viewpoint diversity in diversity polices.

📌 đŽđ«đąđžđ§đ­ 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐄𝐝𝐼𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞 đŸđšđ« đđ«đšđđźđœđ­đąđŻđž đƒđąđŹđšđ đ«đžđžđŠđžđ§đ­.

– Explicitly reject the Untruth of Fragility: What doesn’t kill you makes you weaker.

– Explicitly reject the Untruth of Emotional Reason: Always trust your feelings.

– Explicitly reject the Untruth of Us Versus Them: Life is a battle between good people and evil people.

📌 đƒđ«đšđ° 𝐚 đ‹đšđ«đ đžđ« đ‚đąđ«đœđ„đž đ€đ«đšđźđ§đ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐹𝐩𝐩𝐼𝐧𝐱𝐭đČ – “𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐩đČ đ›đ«đšđ­đĄđžđ«đŹ đ­đ«đČ 𝐭𝐹 đđ«đšđ° 𝐚 đœđąđ«đœđ„đž 𝐭𝐹 đžđ±đœđ„đźđđž 𝐩𝐞, 𝐈 đŹđĄđšđ„đ„ đđ«đšđ° 𝐚 đ„đšđ«đ đžđ« đœđąđ«đœđ„đž 𝐭𝐹 đąđ§đœđ„đźđđž 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐩.”

– Foster school spirit.

– Protect physical safety.

– Host civil, cross-partisan events for students.


While reading all this can be overwhelming and sound like an uphill battle, Haidt and Lukianoff do conclude the book with hope. There are countertrends currently happening! 😃

👍 Recent studies are showing the ineffectiveness of trigger warnings. They also show that trigger warnings may even worsen a person’s feelings of anxiety (

👍 There are increasing discussions over the negative effects technology is having on kids, especially social media. Organizations like the Center for Humane Technology are aiming to reform the tech industry so products are healthier and less addictive.

👍 More states are passing laws to allow “free-range parenting” so a parent cannot be arrested for allowing their child to play without supervision.

👍 More writers like Timur Kuran, Amy Chua, and Jonathan Rauch are calling for a rethinking on identity politics and how both the far-Left and far-Right are feeding off them.

Even the Dalai Lama tweeted his own statement:

“𝐈’𝐩 𝐓𝐱𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐧, 𝐈’𝐩 𝐁𝐼𝐝𝐝𝐡𝐱𝐬𝐭, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈’𝐩 𝐭𝐡𝐞 đƒđšđ„đšđą 𝐋𝐚𝐩𝐚, 𝐛𝐼𝐭 𝐱𝐟 𝐈 đžđŠđ©đĄđšđŹđąđłđž 𝐩đČ đđąđŸđŸđžđ«đžđ§đœđžđŹ 𝐱𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐩𝐞 đšđ©đšđ«đ­ 𝐚𝐧𝐝 đ«đšđąđŹđžđŹ đ›đšđ«đ«đąđžđ«đŹ 𝐰𝐱𝐭𝐡 đšđ­đĄđžđ« đ©đžđšđ©đ„đž. 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐹 𝐝𝐹 𝐱𝐬 đ©đšđČ đŠđšđ«đž 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐱𝐹𝐧 𝐭𝐹 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚đČ𝐬 𝐱𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐱𝐜𝐡 𝐰𝐞 đšđ«đž 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐩𝐞 𝐚𝐬 đšđ­đĄđžđ« đ©đžđšđ©đ„đž.”

👍 More universities are starting to emphasize truth as their đ˜”đ˜Šđ˜­đ˜°đ˜Ž and adopting the Chicago Statement on Principles of Free Expression (

👍 Author Jonathan Haidt himself has created Heterodox Academy, which includes thousands of professors, administrators, and students who are dedicated to promoting open inquiry, viewpoint diversity, and constructive disagreement in higher education.

Since the book’s publication, Haidt has continued to speak at various universities about these issues, and “Coddling” has won numerous awards for its ideas. Lukianoff is the President at the Foundation for Individual Rights in Education (FIRE), addressing student rights violations on college campuses (freedom of speech, due process, religious liberty, etc). 🏆

Of course, my summary doesn’t do the book justice. If any of this peaks your interest, I’d recommend picking up a copy of the book. It’s only 5 dollars on Amazon Kindle! đŸ˜Č





📄 The Coddling of the American Mind (Article):

📄 Readers Respond to Coddling (Article):

📖 The Coddling of the American Mind (Book):

📖 The Rise of Victimhood Culture (Book):

📄 What is Concept Creep? (Article):

📄 The Free Speech Crisis on Campus is Worse Than People Think (Article):

📄 Free Speech For Me, But Not For Thee (Article):

đŸ–„ïž Disinvitation Attempts of College Speakers (Database):

📄 Chicago Statement on Principles of Free Expression (PDF):



đŸ“Œ Jonathan Haidt Speech About “Coddling” at UCCS (Video, 2019):



đŸ“Œ Yale University – Halloween Email Protest (Video, 2015):

đŸ“Œ McMaster University – Jordan Peterson Protest (Video, 2017):

đŸ“Œ Villanova University – Charles Murray Protest (Video, 2017):

đŸ“Œ Evergreen State College – Day of Absence Protests (Video, 2017):

đŸ“Œ UC Berkeley – Milo Yiannopoulos Riot (Video, 2017):

đŸ“Œ UC Berkeley – Ben Shapiro Protest (Video, 2017):

đŸ“Œ Oberlin College – Gibson’s Bakery Protest (Video, 2019):


𝗹𝗣𝗗𝗔𝗧𝗘 đ—Šđ—ąđ—šđ—„đ—–đ—˜đ—Š:

📄 Coddling Book Update 1 – Introduction (Article, 2020):

📄 Coddling Book Update 2 – Trigger Warnings, Social Media Use (Article, 2020):

📄 Association for Psychological Science – Trigger Warnings Fail to Help and May Even Harm (Article 2020):

Why We Can’t HEAR Each Other!





Are you tired of the back-and-forth arguing? 🙋‍♂‍

Are you tired that others cannot seem to understand your point of view? 🙋

I hope with this post, by illustrating the current trends, it will help us better understand why people think the way they do. âŹ‡ïž

Let me add: This post is NOT for sharing my political views. The only bias I wish to promote in this post is Empathy. 🙌

(Please note what I’m about to present are HUGE generalizations in terms of political leanings, so please consider this but a limited framework. Nevertheless, I hope it can provide some clarity. 😊)

📌 If one is left-leaning, one tends to see the crime of George Floyd as driven more by systemic racism. If one is right-leaning, one tends to see the crime of George Floyd as driven more by police brutality.

📌 If one is left-leaning, one tends to support Black Lives Matter. If one is right-leaning, one tends to support Blue/All Lives Matter.

📌 If one is left-leaning, one tends to see racism as systemic and institutionalized. If one is right-leaning, one tends to see racism as occurring but as being overly exaggerated/a moral panic.

📌 If one is left-leaning, one tends to recommend African American thinkers like Ta-Nehisi Coates and Ibram X. Kendi. If one is right-leaning, one tends to recommend African American thinkers like Thomas Sowell and Shelby Steele.

📌 If one is left-leaning, one tends to focus on the instances of police mistreatment being done towards protesters. If one is right-leaning, one tends to focus on the instances of people rioting and looting local businesses.

📌 If one is left-leaning, one tends to sympathize and offer care to the less fortunate and those they see as oppressed. If one is right-leaning, one tends to advocate for personal responsibility, self-reliance, and rejecting victimhood mentality.

📌 If one is left-leaning, some favorite scapegoats may include: “the 1%”, “patriarchy”, “privilege”, “power structures”, and “white supremacy”. If one is right-leaning, some favorite scapegoats may include: “the elite globalists”, “government regulation”, “immigration”, “social justice warriors”, and “cultural Marxism”.

Again, this is a VERY general framework. But depending on where you are on the political spectrum is going to be a BIG factor in how you perceive the current circumstances. 👀

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐱𝐧𝐠 𝐱𝐬: 𝐰𝐞 𝐝𝐹𝐧’𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐬𝐱𝐭𝐼𝐚𝐭𝐱𝐹𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞đČ đšđ«đž. 𝐖𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐬𝐱𝐭𝐼𝐚𝐭𝐱𝐹𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 đ«đžđŸđ„đžđœđ­đąđšđ§ 𝐹𝐟 𝐰𝐡𝐹 𝐰𝐞 đšđ«đž, 𝐚 đ«đžđŸđ„đžđœđ­đąđšđ§ 𝐹𝐟 đšđźđ« đ©đšđ„đąđ­đąđœđšđ„ 𝐯𝐱𝐞𝐰𝐬, đ›đžđ„đąđžđŸđŹ, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 đŻđšđ„đźđžđŹ. đŸ‘€

It’s the reason why some people are emphasizing “Black Lives Matter” while some people are emphasizing “All Lives Matter”. 💡

Let’s give an example

2 people go to the theater to watch a movie. They both sit side-by-side and watch the movie in full. 🎬

When the movie is over, both people walk out of the theater ready to share their opinionsâ€ŠđŸ—Łïž

Person 1: “That movie was AWESOME!” đŸ€©

Person 2 is shocked: “What?! That movie was DUMB!” ❌

Person 1 is annoyed: “What, HOW could you say that?!” đŸ€Ź

Person 2 is flabbergasted: “How could YOU praise such a trashy movie!?” đŸ€Ź

Remember: BOTH people saw the exact same movie! Side-by-side! 😕

So how did they come up with 2 polar opposite opinions of the same film? đŸ€”

𝐁𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐼𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞đČ 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 đ›đ«đšđźđ đĄđ­ đ­đĄđžđŠđŹđžđ„đŻđžđŹ 𝐭𝐹 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐹𝐯𝐱𝐞.

We all carry past experiences, beliefs, and values, and they in turn influence how we see the things around us, including movies. 👀

Think of it like this: each person is wearing a different pair of glasses, and these glasses are magnifying or shrinking certain parts of what a person focuses on. 👓

Person 1 said the movie was “AWESOME” because they loved the action sequences they focused on. đŸ€©

Person 2 said the movie was “DUMB” because they focused on how the film was all action and little story. ❌

The exact same movie. Two different interpretations. 🙌

THIS is why:

đŸ˜± Some of my friends cannot fathom how another person can emphasize “Black Lives Matter” over “All Lives Matter”.

đŸ˜± Some of my friends cannot fathom how another person can emphasize “All Lives Matter” over “Black Lives Matter”.

Is it just because they’re a “social justice warrior”? đŸ€Ź

Is it just because of their “white privilege”? đŸ€Ź

Instead of making assumptions, I encourage us all to instead ask: “Why?” đŸ€”

I encourage us all to start asking more questions and making less assumptions, 𝐭𝐹 đŹđžđžđ€ 𝐭𝐹 đźđ§đđžđ«đŹđ­đšđ§đ đ«đšđ­đĄđžđ« 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐹 đšđ§đ„đČ 𝐛𝐞 đźđ§đđžđ«đŹđ­đšđšđ.

That’s how we use the Power of Empathy. 🙌

In his book “The Righteous Mind”, social psychologist Jonathan Haidt emphasizes 1 key point he’s learned in all his decades of research into Morality âŹ‡ïž:

💬 â€œđŒđšđ«đšđ„đąđ­đČ 𝐛𝐱𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 đ›đ„đąđ§đđŹ. 𝐈𝐭 𝐛𝐱𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐼𝐬 𝐱𝐧𝐭𝐹 đąđđžđšđ„đšđ đąđœđšđ„ 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐩𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐟𝐱𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 đšđ­đĄđžđ« 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐹𝐼𝐠𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐹𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 đ°đšđ«đ„đ đđžđ©đžđ§đđžđ 𝐹𝐧 đšđźđ« 𝐬𝐱𝐝𝐞 𝐰𝐱𝐧𝐧𝐱𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 đ›đšđ­đ­đ„đž. 𝐈𝐭 đ›đ„đąđ§đđŹ 𝐼𝐬 𝐭𝐹 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐩 𝐱𝐬 đœđšđŠđ©đšđŹđžđ 𝐹𝐟 𝐠𝐹𝐹𝐝 đ©đžđšđ©đ„đž 𝐰𝐡𝐹 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐹𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐱𝐧𝐠 đąđŠđ©đšđ«đ­đšđ§đ­ 𝐭𝐹 𝐬𝐚đČ.” 💬

In helping us better understand each other, Haidt shares his Moral Foundations Theory.

The idea is that we each carry 6 moral taste buds:

1. đ˜Ÿđ™–đ™§đ™š/𝙃𝙖𝙧𝙱 – 𝙒𝙚 đ™«đ™–đ™Ąđ™Ș𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 đ™›đ™€đ™§ đ™©đ™đ™€đ™šđ™š 𝙞𝙣 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙙đ™Ș𝙘𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙱 𝙖𝙹 𝙱đ™Ș𝙘𝙝 𝙖𝙹 𝙬𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙣.❀

2. 𝙁𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙹𝙹/đ˜Ÿđ™đ™šđ™–đ™©đ™žđ™Łđ™œ – 𝙒𝙚 đ™«đ™–đ™Ąđ™Ș𝙚 đ™©đ™đ™€đ™šđ™š đ™Źđ™đ™€ đ™„đ™Ąđ™–đ™ź 𝙗𝙼 đ™©đ™đ™š 𝙧đ™Ș𝙡𝙚𝙹 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙙𝙞𝙹𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 đ™©đ™đ™€đ™šđ™š đ™Źđ™đ™€ đ™˜đ™đ™šđ™–đ™©. 💰

3. đ™‡đ™€đ™źđ™–đ™Ąđ™©đ™ź/đ˜œđ™šđ™©đ™§đ™–đ™źđ™–đ™Ą – 𝙒𝙚 đ™«đ™–đ™Ąđ™Ș𝙚 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙬𝙚 đ™—đ™šđ™Ąđ™€đ™Łđ™œ đ™©đ™€ 𝙖 đ™œđ™§đ™€đ™Șđ™„ 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙙𝙞𝙹𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 đ™€đ™©đ™đ™šđ™§đ™š đ™Źđ™đ™€ đ™šđ™©đ™šđ™„ đ™€đ™Șđ™©đ™šđ™žđ™™đ™š đ™žđ™©. đŸ‘„

4. đ˜Œđ™Șđ™©đ™đ™€đ™§đ™žđ™©đ™ź/𝙎đ™Șđ™—đ™«đ™šđ™§đ™šđ™žđ™€đ™Ł – 𝙒𝙚 đ™«đ™–đ™Ąđ™Ș𝙚 đ™šđ™€đ™˜đ™žđ™–đ™Ą đ™€đ™§đ™™đ™šđ™§, đ™šđ™€ 𝙬𝙚 đ™–đ™„đ™„đ™§đ™šđ™˜đ™žđ™–đ™©đ™š 𝙖đ™Șđ™©đ™đ™€đ™§đ™žđ™©đ™ź đ™›đ™€đ™§ đ™ đ™šđ™šđ™„đ™žđ™Łđ™œ đ™šđ™€đ™˜đ™žđ™šđ™©đ™ź đ™€đ™§đ™œđ™–đ™Łđ™žđ™Żđ™šđ™™ 𝙖𝙣𝙙 đ™šđ™©đ™–đ™—đ™Ąđ™š. 🚓

5. đ™Žđ™–đ™Łđ™˜đ™©đ™žđ™©đ™ź/đ˜żđ™šđ™œđ™§đ™–đ™™đ™–đ™©đ™žđ™€đ™Ł – 𝙒𝙚 đ™«đ™–đ™Ąđ™Ș𝙚 𝙹𝙖𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙙𝙣𝙚𝙹𝙹, đ™Źđ™đ™šđ™©đ™đ™šđ™§ đ™žđ™©â€™đ™š đ™›đ™€đ™Ș𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙖 𝙘𝙝đ™Ș𝙧𝙘𝙝, 𝙖 đ™§đ™šđ™Ąđ™žđ™œđ™žđ™€đ™Ș𝙹 đ™šđ™źđ™ąđ™—đ™€đ™Ą, đ™€đ™§ 𝙞𝙣 𝙖 đ™„đ™Ąđ™–đ™˜đ™š 𝙬𝙚 đ™đ™€đ™Ąđ™™ 𝙞𝙣 𝙝𝙞𝙜𝙝 𝙧𝙚𝙜𝙖𝙧𝙙. 🙌

6. đ™‡đ™žđ™—đ™šđ™§đ™©đ™ź/đ™Šđ™„đ™„đ™§đ™šđ™šđ™šđ™žđ™€đ™Ł – 𝙒𝙚 đ™«đ™–đ™Ąđ™Ș𝙚 𝙖 𝙹𝙚𝙣𝙹𝙚 đ™€đ™› 𝙖đ™Șđ™©đ™€đ™Łđ™€đ™ąđ™ź 𝙖𝙣𝙙 đ™„đ™šđ™§đ™šđ™€đ™Łđ™–đ™Ą đ™›đ™§đ™šđ™šđ™™đ™€đ™ą. ✊

Haidt says we each carry these 6 moral taste buds, 𝐛𝐼𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐝𝐹𝐧’𝐭 đŻđšđ„đźđž 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐩 𝐞đȘđźđšđ„đ„đČ.

He’s not here to argue which combinations of taste buds are better or worse, only to say that they exist, and that they also heavily influence our political leanings. â˜Żïž

For example, those who tend to be left-leaning often have Care/Harm and Fairness/Cheating as their highest moral taste buds. These 2 moral taste buds tend to be disproportionately higher than all the others. 🔝

But when it comes to those who are right-leaning, the moral taste buds tend to be more evenly distributed. ⚖

So, the next time you’re in a disagreement with someone, I challenge you to keep an ear out for these moral taste buds in the words of others. 👂

Use these moral taste buds not just to better understand how others think but also to better understand your own moral worldview. đŸ€”

Take COVID-19 as another example of the moral taste buds at play. 💡

Remember how some people were more focused on the economy while other people were more focused on the loss of individual lives? 👍

It’s not that economists didn’t care about human life. It’s also not that healthcare professionals didn’t care about the effects on the economy. The difference was in which moral taste buds they placed as being more important. đŸ˜Č

In other words…

𝐓𝐡𝐞 đ«đžđšđŹđšđ§ đ°đžâ€™đ«đž đ­đšđ„đ€đąđ§đ  đšđŻđžđ« 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 đšđ­đĄđžđ« 𝐱𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐼𝐬𝐞 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐬𝐱𝐝𝐞 𝐱𝐬 đšđ«đ đźđąđ§đ  đšđŻđžđ« 𝐰𝐡𝐱𝐜𝐡 đŠđšđ«đšđ„ 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐛𝐼𝐝𝐬 đŹđĄđšđźđ„đ đ­đšđ€đž đ©đ«đžđœđžđđžđ§đœđž 𝐱𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐱𝐬 𝐬𝐱𝐭𝐼𝐚𝐭𝐱𝐹𝐧. 𝐖𝐞’đ«đž đšđ«đ đźđąđ§đ  đšđŻđžđ« 𝐬𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐱𝐜𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐹𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 đ«đšđšđ­ 𝐱𝐬𝐬𝐼𝐞𝐬.

Having friends on both sides of the political spectrum, I can tell you: BOTH SIDES agree the crime of George Floyd was awful and condemn it. ❌

The difference is in how each side interprets the severity of the situation and how we should be responding to it. đŸ—ș

That’s why we need to come together and understand each other’s points of view on this. Otherwise, we’re going to keep making the same mistake of assuming everyone thinks exactly the same way we do. đŸ˜©

They don’t. 🙌

𝐈’𝐩 đ­đšđ„đ€đąđ§đ  𝐭𝐹 𝐁𝐎𝐓𝐇 𝐬𝐱𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐹𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 đ©đšđ„đąđ­đąđœđšđ„ đŹđ©đžđœđ­đ«đźđŠ đĄđžđ«đž. 💯

Focusing on problems doesn’t solve problems; focusing on solutions creates solutions. And I hope with this post I can be a part of that solution. 🙌

🚹 Imposing our self-righteousness onto others, whether it’s using guilt, shame, or emotional intimidation, is NOT a helpful long-term solution.

🚹 Refusing to set aside our ideological echo chambers for the sake of comfort sets a DANGEROUS precedent for how we as a country collectively handle our problems in the future.

In times where polarization is high, cynicism is high, distrust is high, and tribalism is high, it’s crucial that all of us continue emphasizing the importance of civility with each other. 💬

Because it is SO EASY for us not to do so now is the very reason I emphasize it. I know I’m going against the Outrage Train by even saying this. 💯

Why? Because 𝐈’𝐩 đ„đšđšđ€đąđ§đ  đŸđšđ« 𝐼𝐬 𝐭𝐹 đ„đąđŻđž đ­đšđ đžđ­đĄđžđ« 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐹𝐭 𝐝𝐱𝐞 đ­đšđ đžđ­đĄđžđ«. 😊

Because that’s the beauty of the United States being a pluralistic society:

📌 A society where we can have one party who thinks the movie was “AWESOME!” and another party who thinks the movie was “DUMB!”

📌 A society where two opposing parties can have a civil discussion over the movie, find places where they agree, and seek compromise on the places they disagree.

Perhaps my thinking is overly optimistic and idealistic. But for me, hope has always been a good thing. ❀

Consider this post a friendly reminder to continue focusing on empathy and solutions, even when it’s not easy. 👍

Because I know 𝐱𝐭’𝐬 đ«đžđšđ„đ„đČ đĄđšđ«đ 𝐭𝐹 𝐝𝐹 𝐬𝐹 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 đšđźđ« đžđŠđšđ­đąđšđ§đšđ„ 𝐩𝐱𝐧𝐝𝐬 đšđ«đž đŹđĄđ«đšđźđđžđ 𝐱𝐧 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬. 😹

So…let’s get to work! 💹

How We BECOME Civil!


Van Jones argued in his recent book “Beyond the Messy Truth” one of the biggest problems facing our modern politics is that political parties are no longer uniting under the ideals of Conservatism or Liberalism, to bring out the best of their parties. 👎

Instead, they are uniting under a shared hostility of being anti-The Other Party. đŸ€Ź

Social psychologist Jonathan Haidt provided a similar argument in his book “The Coddling of the American Mind” in the context of college campuses. 📖

He cites instances where college students at Ivy League schools have forcibly interrupted and shouted down guest speakers they deemed “offensive”. đŸ€Ź

Once instance includes Evergreen State College, where a college professor expressed disagreement with students over their social cause.

Student protesters disrupted his class, surrounded him in a ring, screamed at him when he tried to speak, and demanded he resign from the university. đŸ€Ź

To put it simply: đđšđ„đšđ«đąđłđšđ­đąđšđ§ 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 đ©đžđšđ©đ„đž 𝐡𝐚𝐬 đąđ§đœđ«đžđšđŹđžđ. đ“đ«đąđ›đšđ„đąđŹđŠ 𝐡𝐚𝐬 đąđ§đœđ«đžđšđŹđžđ. 𝐂đČ𝐧𝐱𝐜𝐱𝐬𝐩 𝐡𝐚𝐬 đąđ§đœđ«đžđšđŹđžđ. đ“đĄđžđ«đžâ€™đŹ 𝐚 đ đ«đšđ°đąđ§đ  đœđšđ„đ„đžđœđ­đąđŻđž đšđŹđŹđźđŠđ©đ­đąđšđ§ 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 đ©đžđšđ©đ„đž 𝐰𝐡𝐹 đđąđŹđšđ đ«đžđž 𝐰𝐱𝐭𝐡 𝐼𝐬, 𝐛đČ đđžđŸđšđźđ„đ­, 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 đŠđšđ„đąđœđąđšđźđŹ 𝐱𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭.

đ€đ«đ đźđŠđžđ§đ­đŹ 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐹𝐩𝐞 đ„đžđŹđŹ 𝐚𝐛𝐹𝐼𝐭 đŹđžđšđ«đœđĄđąđ§đ  đŸđšđ« đ­đ«đźđ­đĄ 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐱𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐛𝐹𝐼𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐱𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐹𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐱𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐹 𝐰𝐱𝐧. 𝐓𝐡𝐞đČ’𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐹𝐩𝐞 đ„đžđŹđŹ 𝐚𝐛𝐹𝐼𝐭 𝐼𝐬𝐱𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 đ«đžđšđŹđšđ§ 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐱𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐛𝐹𝐼𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐹𝐼𝐭𝐱𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐹𝐰𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 đšđ­đĄđžđ« đ©đžđ«đŹđšđ§ 𝐰𝐱𝐭𝐡 đžđŠđšđ­đąđšđ§đšđ„ 𝐱𝐧𝐭𝐱𝐩𝐱𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐱𝐹𝐧.


And I won’t pretend I’m immune from falling into these mindsets either. I also need to remind myself not to fall into these traps A LOT! So I don’t at all blame you if you fall into them either. 😅

But the message I wish to communicate to you today is you DON’T have to see someone else as your “villain”.

There is another option! 💯

Did you know Van Jones is close friends with Newt Gingrich? They are on opposite sides of the political spectrum. Van Jones is a Progressive Democrat and Newt a Republican. đŸ˜Č

Van Jones notes in his book they disagree more than they ever agree politically. But despite that, they’re very good friends! đŸ‘„

Newt once shared with him this piece of wisdom:

“𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 ‘90% 𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒎𝒚’ 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 ‘10% 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅’ – 𝒐𝒏 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒑𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒕 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒆.”

I think Jonathan Haidt was also right, in the same tradition, when he said the greatest wisdom you can find is in the minds of your “opponents”.

Your “villains”.

The people you label in your mind as “pure evil”. 👿


A few days ago, I listened to a Joe Rogan podcast where he interviewed Daryl Davis. đŸŽ™ïž

Daryl is an African American musician who is not only known for his amazing talent on the piano but also for converting over 200 people OUT of the white supremacist group the Ku Klux Klan. đŸ˜Č

On the podcast he went in-depth about how this all happened, but the biggest detail which stuck out to me hearing his story was in how simple the solution was!

𝑯𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒄𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒍, 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒍𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎. 𝑯𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒆𝒙𝒂𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒂𝒇𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒅 𝒐𝒇.

He learned what the KKK believed about African Americans, and he (again, respectfully) challenged their ideas. He even invited many of them over to his house for dinner! đŸ˜Č

They even in turn invited him to attend their Klan meetings! đŸ˜±

It wasn’t long after that one of the top Klan members Daryl had met handed his white Klan robe to him and said he was leaving.

Again, this was just 1 of over 200 Klansmen


But the solution Daryl provided is not so different from the story of Megan Phelps-Roper either!

Megan was a member of the Westboro Baptist Church, a group widely known for their extremist views towards homosexuals (“God hates f**s”) and Jews. 😔

From birth, Megan was raised in the Church as her grandfather was the founder. Because of her upbringing, she was raised to see a very limited view of the world around her.

She only knew what her family told her. She was taught that the people hating her and her family at their protests only meant they were righteous in their beliefs. 📖

It was only when she created a Twitter account to promote her Church did her worldview start to unravel.

She became exposed to other viewpoints. Anonymous people she had never met were now pointing out logical inconsistencies in her posts. One of those people in particular was a lawyer she debated and eventually became good friends with. đŸ€

But the difference between him and other people who tweeted insults at her? 𝑯𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒇𝒖𝒍.

Eventually she started doubting what she used to believe so wholeheartedly. She went to her folks for clarity and could not get a satisfactory answer.

Eventually she left the church along with her sister, and her family shunned her, just like they did with anyone who left. ✋

Today, she now shares her personal story with others, to provide an inside (as well as humanistic) view when it comes to extremism.

Oh, and she’s also now married to her lawyer friend! 😅


📌 đ‘»đ’‰đ’‚đ’• 𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇-𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒆𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒌𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒐𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒖𝒏𝒊𝒕𝒚 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒔.

📌 đ‘»đ’‰đ’‚đ’• 𝒊𝒇 𝒘𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒑 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒚 𝒃𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒇𝒖𝒍. đ‘”đ’ 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒖𝒍𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒕.

📌 đ‘»đ’‰đ’‚đ’• 𝒘𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒐𝒏 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒘𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒆𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒆𝒇𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒐 𝒔𝒐.

These all may sound like common sense. But how many people do you see using this common sense on a daily basis? How about yourself?

Sounds like it may be back to basics, right?! 😅


To end this post I’ll leave you with wisdom from Megan Phelps-Roper herself on how we can all better communicate with others:

“📌 The first is don’t assume bad intent.

My friends on Twitter realized that even when my words were aggressive and offensive, I sincerely believed I was doing the right thing.

Assuming ill motives almost instantly cuts us off from truly understanding why someone does and believes as they do. ❌

We forget that they’re a human being with a lifetime of experience that shaped their mind, and we get stuck on that first wave of anger, and the conversation has a very hard time ever moving beyond it.

But when we assume good or neutral intent, we give our minds a much stronger framework for dialogue. 🙌

📌 The second is ask questions.

When we engage people across ideological divides, asking questions helps us map the disconnect between our differing points of view.

That’s important because we can’t present effective arguments if we don’t understand where the other side is actually coming from and because it gives them an opportunity to point out flaws in our positions. 👉

But asking questions serves another purpose; it signals to someone that they’re being heard.

When my friends on Twitter stopped accusing and started asking questions, I almost automatically mirrored them. Their questions gave me room to speak, but they also gave me permission to ask them questions and to truly hear their responses. It fundamentally changed the dynamic of our conversation. ❓

📌 The third is stay calm.

This takes practice and patience, but it’s powerful. At Westboro, I learned not to care how my manner of speaking affected others. I thought my rightness justified my rudeness — harsh tones, raised voices, insults, interruptions — but that strategy is ultimately counterproductive.

Dialing up the volume and the snark is natural in stressful situations, but it tends to bring the conversation to an unsatisfactory, explosive end. đŸ€Ź

When my husband was still just an anonymous Twitter acquaintance, our discussions frequently became hard and pointed, but we always refused to escalate. Instead, he would change the subject.

He would tell a joke or recommend a book or gently excuse himself from the conversation. We knew the discussion wasn’t over, just paused for a time to bring us back to an even keel. 🧘

People often lament that digital communication makes us less civil, but this is one advantage that online conversations have over in-person ones. We have a buffer of time and space between us and the people whose ideas we find so frustrating.

We can use that buffer. Instead of lashing out, we can pause, breathe, change the subject or walk away, and then come back to it when we’re ready.

📌 And finally…make the argument.

This might seem obvious, but one side effect of having strong beliefs is that we sometimes assume that the value of our position is or should be obvious and self-evident, that we shouldn’t have to defend our positions because they’re so clearly right and good that if someone doesn’t get it, it’s their problem — that it’s not my job to educate them.

But if it were that simple, we would all see things the same way. As kind as my friends on Twitter were, if they hadn’t actually made their arguments, it would’ve been so much harder for me to see the world in a different way.

We are all a product of our upbringing, and our beliefs reflect our experiences. We can’t expect others to spontaneously change their own minds. If we want change, we have to make the case for it. đŸ’Œ

𝐌đČ đŸđ«đąđžđ§đđŹ 𝐹𝐧 đ“đ°đąđ­đ­đžđ« 𝐝𝐱𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐹𝐧 đ­đĄđžđąđ« đ›đžđ„đąđžđŸđŹ đšđ« đ­đĄđžđąđ« đ©đ«đąđ§đœđąđ©đ„đžđŹ — đšđ§đ„đČ đ­đĄđžđąđ« đŹđœđšđ«đ§. 𝐓𝐡𝐞đČ đœđĄđšđ§đ§đžđ„đžđ đ­đĄđžđąđ« đąđ§đŸđąđ§đąđ­đžđ„đČ đŁđźđŹđ­đąđŸđąđšđ›đ„đž 𝐹𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐞 𝐭𝐹 𝐩𝐞 𝐰𝐱𝐭𝐡 đ©đšđąđ§đ­đžđ đȘ𝐼𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐱𝐹𝐧𝐬 đ­đžđŠđ©đžđ«đžđ 𝐰𝐱𝐭𝐡 đ€đąđ§đđ§đžđŹđŹ 𝐚𝐧𝐝 đĄđźđŠđšđ«.

𝐓𝐡𝐞đČ đšđ©đ©đ«đšđšđœđĄđžđ 𝐩𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐡𝐼𝐩𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐱𝐧𝐠, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 đŠđšđ«đž đ­đ«đšđ§đŹđŸđšđ«đŠđšđ­đąđŻđž 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐰𝐹 đŸđźđ„đ„ 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐹𝐟 đšđźđ­đ«đšđ đž, 𝐝𝐱𝐬𝐝𝐚𝐱𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 đŻđąđšđ„đžđ§đœđž.” ❀




📘 “Beyond the Messy Truth” by Van Jones –

📕 “The Coddling of the American Mind” by Jonathan Haidt –

📙 “Unfollow: A Journey from Hatred to Hope” by Megan Phelps -Roper –

📜 Evergreen State College, Day of Absence Protest (Timeline) –

👂Joe Rogan Podcast – Daryl Davis –

đŸ—Łïž TED Talk – Megan Phelps-Roper:

🎬 Accidental Courtesy: Daryl Davis, Race, and America –