Why Hurt People HURT People!

๐Ÿ™Œ HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE! ๐Ÿ™Œ

In times of stress, our thinking NARROWS.

We forget the ideals we set for ourselves. ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

We forget the goals we were aiming to reach. ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

We instead fall into thinking patterns limited to our self-preservation. ๐Ÿ˜จ

But youโ€™re NO LESS of a person for falling back into old thinking patterns. It happens to us all. โค๏ธ

What matters is not that we became lost in thought (for the thousandth time), but that we continue to acknowledge the moments when we do, to accept the moment as it is, and continue redirecting our focus towards what truly matters to us. โคด๏ธ

If youโ€™re a meditater, you know how RANDOM your thoughts can be! ๐Ÿง˜โ€โ™‚๏ธ

Thoughts you have absolutely no control over will appear in your conscious mind, like a fish in a pond which pops its head at the surface of the water. ๐ŸŸ

With a practice like meditation, you realize you donโ€™t have to engage with this fish. You realize itโ€™s just one of many fish that will appear ALL THE TIME, and you have the choice to allow this fish to just go on its way. ๐Ÿ™Œ

But without us developing these skills of self-awareness and self-control, we will ALWAYS be at the whim of us grabbing the next fish. ๐Ÿคฏ

We will continue grabbing every fish that appears and assume every fish carries equal value.

But the problem is some fish are unhealthy, harmful, and even dangerous. ๐Ÿฆˆ

For example, itโ€™s SO EASY these days for the Fish of Outrage to appear more and more in the mind. ๐Ÿ˜…

But the more often you grab the Fish of Outrage, the more often the fish comes back.

Because whatever you keep focusing on in the mind grows. ๐Ÿ‘€

Itโ€™s why Nietszche famously said: โ€œ๐‡๐ž ๐ฐ๐ก๐จ ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฆ๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐จ๐ค ๐ญ๐จ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ก๐ž ๐ก๐ข๐ฆ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฅ๐Ÿ ๐๐จ๐ž๐ฌ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐›๐ž๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž ๐š ๐ฆ๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ. ๐€๐ง๐ ๐ข๐Ÿ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ ๐š๐ณ๐ž ๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐  ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐จ ๐š๐ง ๐š๐›๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ฌ, ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐š๐›๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐š๐ฅ๐ฌ๐จ ๐ ๐š๐ณ๐ž๐ฌ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐จ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ.โ€

In other words, some of the most dangerous people are the ones who can only see wrongdoing in everyone else but themselves. They see themselves through a divine lens while simultaneously projecting the Fish they reject in their own minds onto other people. ๐Ÿ‘‰

Thatโ€™s why thereโ€™s the saying: โ€œ๐—ช๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜ ๐Ÿญ ๐—ณ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—ฟ, ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐Ÿฏ ๐—ณ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€ ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฏ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ธ ๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚.โ€

๐ŸŒŸ If you are suffering, you are lost in thought. ๐ŸŒŸ

Suffering begets suffering.

Thatโ€™s why itโ€™s important we remember:

๐Ÿ™Œ HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE! ๐Ÿ™Œ

That person you see screaming in the face of another person? ๐Ÿคฌ

That person expressing irrational and out-of-control behavior? ๐Ÿคฌ

That person who is vowing to get revenge? ๐Ÿคฌ

They are ALL suffering. ๐Ÿ˜”

For my social media friends thirsty for condemnation and revenge, I know this may be a difficult concept to understand. ๐Ÿค”

It may be even more difficult because this post is holding a MIRROR up to yourself. โค๏ธ

A person who feels the need to hurt other people, to crave revenge, to watch the whole world burn, is NEVER a happy person. ๐Ÿ‘

In fact, the ones who hurt the most are often the ones who need love the most. โค๏ธ

Because:

๐Ÿ™Œ HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE! ๐Ÿ™Œ

Consider the words of Sam Harris:

โ€œ๐„๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฒ ๐ฉ๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ๐จ๐ง ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ก๐š๐ฏ๐ž ๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ ๐ฆ๐ž๐ญ, ๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฒ ๐ฉ๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ๐จ๐ง ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐š๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐ž๐ž๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ๐๐š๐ฒ, ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ ๐จ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ข๐ž. โšฐ๏ธย .

๐‹๐ข๐ฏ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐  ๐ž๐ง๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก, ๐ž๐š๐œ๐ก ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ๐ž๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐Ÿ๐ซ๐ข๐ž๐ง๐๐ฌ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐Ÿ๐š๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฒ. ๐€๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ ๐จ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฌ๐ž ๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฒ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐ž ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ฅ๐. ๐Ÿ˜ข

๐–๐ก๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐จ๐ง๐ž ๐ฐ๐š๐ง๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐›๐ž ๐š๐ง๐ฒ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐  ๐›๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ค๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฆ ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฆ๐ž๐š๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ฆ๐ž?โ€ โค๏ธ

During times of stress, these ideas Iโ€™m sharing may likely WONโ€™T be at the forefront of our minds. ๐Ÿ‘

Thatโ€™s why itโ€™s our job to work on ourselves, to develop ourselves, and to increase our self-awareness. ๐Ÿ‘€

Because the work we do on ourselves now is NOT just about us. Itโ€™s about everyone around us whoโ€™s also going to benefit from it. ๐ŸŒŽ

When you take care of yourself, you can better take care of others. โค๏ธ

When youโ€™re loving to yourself, youโ€™re more loving to others. โค๏ธ

When youโ€™re forgiving to yourself, youโ€™re more forgiving to others. โค๏ธ

It works both ways. โ†”๏ธ

So, the next time you THINK about grabbing that Fish of Outrage in the mind, remember:

๐Ÿ™Œ HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE! ๐Ÿ™Œ

Will you be a part of breaking the cycle of suffering? ๐Ÿ™Œ

As Martin Luther King Jr. beautifully said: โ€œ๐ƒ๐š๐ซ๐ค๐ง๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐œ๐š๐ง๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐๐ซ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž ๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐๐š๐ซ๐ค๐ง๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ; ๐จ๐ง๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐œ๐š๐ง ๐๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ. ๐‡๐š๐ญ๐ž ๐œ๐š๐ง๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐๐ซ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž ๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ก๐š๐ญ๐ž; ๐จ๐ง๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐ž ๐œ๐š๐ง ๐๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ.โ€ โค๏ธ

How To Embrace What’s In Your Control!

What you focus on expands. ๐Ÿ‘€

What you think about, you become. โค๏ธ

Where has your focus been lately? ๐Ÿค”

On problems? ๐Ÿ˜ฃ

On things outside your control? ๐Ÿ˜ซ

I know these both happened to me the past week. ๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™‚๏ธ

The realization at how much is out of our control can feel disheartening, right? ๐Ÿ’”

Especially when Life didn’t wait to give us this fact one bit at a time. ๐Ÿ‘ฃ

Instead it’s providing it via hailstorm lately. ๐ŸŒฉ๏ธ

So what do you do now? ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ

๐Ÿ™Œ Allow yourself to process this fact. ๐Ÿ™Œ

It’s a tough truth to think about. It was tough for me to sit with too. You’re not alone. โค๏ธ

There is A LOT which is outside of our control. ๐Ÿ˜“

But I do have some good news…๐Ÿ‘‚

There ARE things which are in your control! ๐Ÿ˜Š

We cannot control the circumstances where we are born. ๐Ÿ‘Ž

But we can control what how we use our circumstances. โค๏ธ

We cannot control the actions of others. ๐Ÿ‘Ž

But we can control our reaction to their actions. โค๏ธ

We cannot control what Fate ultimately brings us. ๐Ÿ‘Ž

But we can control how we decide to face our Fate. โค๏ธ

As you go through your day, ask yourself:

– Right now, what is within my control? ๐Ÿค”

– Right now, what is outside my control? ๐Ÿค”

– Right now, what can I do with what’s in my control? ๐Ÿค”

Keep the answers you find in mind for the choices you make today. ๐Ÿ™Œ

If you’re theistically inclined, you can also remember the words of the Serenity Prayer ๐Ÿ™:

“God, grant me the serenity to Accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.” ๐Ÿ™Œ

There’s a lot outside our control. ๐Ÿ’ฏ

But where hope is found is through this self-awareness: ๐Ÿ™Œ

๐Ÿ“Œ With the decisions we make in the present moment.

๐Ÿ“Œ With how we choose to treat each other.

๐Ÿ“Œ With how we embrace being the change we wish to see.

Let us not forget: you cannot have light without darkness, just as you cannot have darkness without light. โ˜ฏ๏ธ

One cannot exist without the other. โ†”๏ธ

Consider this post a part of the light that’s coming your way. โ˜€๏ธ

Why News Stories are NOT Facts!

๐Ÿ”Ž SEPARATE THE FACTS FROM THE STORIES!!! ๐Ÿ”Ž

It was a little over 3 years ago I was sitting in a room filled with a hundred other people of various ages and backgrounds. ๐Ÿ‘ฅ

We all were sitting quietly, listening to the teacher at the front of the room as he calmly spoke with a distraught student who had come up to one of the nearby microphones set up next to him. ๐ŸŽค

It was the end of September 2017, and I was attending a weekend seminar known as the Landmark Forum. It was one of the most mentally challenging experiences I ever had, not in a bad way but in how it really challenged my way of thinking. ๐Ÿคฏ

And it wasnโ€™t just me. It challenged ALL OF US as students who participated that weekend! We were introduced to ideas and teachings which challenged how we saw our very lives and the world around us. ๐Ÿ‘๏ธ

Without giving event details away (I recommend you attend), I do want to share with you all a teaching I learned while I there which I’ve been using ever since…

๐Ÿ”Ž SEPARATE THE FACTS FROM THE STORIES!!! ๐Ÿ”Ž

In a similar vein as my previous post ( https://bit.ly/2ZToyBm ), I want to share with you all a realization that just BLEW MY MIND when I started seeing this teaching reflected in everyday situations. ๐Ÿคฏ

I share this with you because I believe THIS can be applied to so many areas of our lives! ๐Ÿ‘

With this teaching, you can save yourself a TON of unnecessary stress, a TON of unnecessary worry, and take your personal self-control to an entirely new level! ๐Ÿ˜

Now without sounding too over-the-top, let me explain…โœ๏ธ

I want you to imagine for a moment you hear about a nearby shooting on the news. ๐Ÿ’ฅ You hear about the shooter’s personal background, how he ran from the police, and how he led the police on a car chase through 3 towns before crashing and being arrested. ๐Ÿ‘ฎ

You hear from the cop’s interviews about how remorseless the shooter was, the testimonials from witness about how terrified they were, and you keep remembering how close the shooting was in proximity to your home. ๐Ÿ 

The incident passes. The shooter is now in jail. End of story. ๐Ÿ“˜

Life goes onโ€ฆbut not quite! โ˜๏ธ

Instead of not locking your front door like you used to, you now start locking your door. In fact, you double-lock it! ๐Ÿ”’

Instead of allowing your child to go outside independently the way he used to, you start feeling more hesitant to let him. You start thinking he needs your supervision, despite him having gone out hundreds of time on his own. ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ

And when youโ€™re driving in your car, every time you’re about to drive past the area where the shooting happened, you find yourself taking a detour. ๐Ÿš—

But wait! The incident has passed. The shooter is in jail. The danger is gone. ๐Ÿ’ฏ

So why has your behavior changed? Why is your mind acting as if the shooter is still out on the streets? ๐Ÿค”

๐Ÿ”Ž SEPARATE THE FACTS FROM THE STORIES!!! ๐Ÿ”Ž

One of the most important teachings I learned attending the Landmark Forum was THIS: separate What Happened vs. The Story About What Happened.

๐ŸŒŸ What Happened: The Facts and nothing but the Facts.

๐Ÿ“– The Story About What Happened: The mental narrative created around the facts.

What if I told you the news doesnโ€™t tell you Facts? ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

It presents to you a Story about the Facts, about What Happened. It adds EMOTION to the Facts. ๐Ÿ“–

Think about it: Would you really read a news story that just wrote Facts like…?

๐Ÿ“ฐ โ€œA shooting happened on [STREET] at [TIME]. The shooter was identified as [NAME]. The shooter drove a [CAR TYPE]. The police followed the shooter’s car through 3 towns: [TOWN #1], [TOWN #2], and [TOWN #3]. The car crashed. The police arrested the shooter. He is awaiting trial at [PRISON NAME].โ€ ๐Ÿ“ฐ

If the news only told you What Happened, no emotion, no witness testimonies, no police statements, no opinions, no drama whatsoever, you would be BORED OUT OF YOUR MIND watching! ๐Ÿ˜ด

I would be too! ๐Ÿ˜…

The same even goes for my posts! If I just gave you just a list of facts without any emotion and passion (not to mention no emojis), youโ€™d not have as of a desire to keep on reading, would you?

Itโ€™s why I share Stories with you; we as humans LIKE Stories. It’s the same reason we go to the movies or read fictional books. ๐Ÿ‘€

There’s nothing wrong with this either; Stories allow us to experience a whole range of emotions we wouldn’t get to experience without them. ๐Ÿ˜Š

So, my point is: it’s not Facts that influence us, rather itโ€™s the Stories, the emotions around the Facts which influence us. ๐Ÿ™Œ

But the problem is when all the Stories we hear about on a daily basis are negative. ๐Ÿ‘ฟ

Itโ€™s when they starts influencing us to do things we wouldn’t normally do without them. It’s when they influence us to start locking our doors, when they influence us to be worried about the dangers outside our home, when they influence our worst fears to take over our critical thinking, that it becomes a grave problem. ๐Ÿ˜จ

The fact is, the incident has passed. The shooter is in jail. The danger is gone. Nevertheless, your mind has created an internal Story about the world based around what it heard on the news. ๐Ÿ“–

Of course it’s illogical to assume thereโ€™s danger still outside your home based on 1 single incident and where the shooter was caught. ๐Ÿ‘

But your emotions are dictating to you otherwise, making you BELIEVE as if the danger is still near. ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ

๐Ÿ”Ž SEPARATE THE FACTS FROM THE STORIES!!! ๐Ÿ”Ž

That is why is it SO IMPORTANT we distinguish these 2 things!

๐Ÿ“Œ So we help ourselves have a clearer look at situations and not through the lens of our emotions.

๐Ÿ“Œ So we can remind ourselves, through a logical perspective, of what to actually be concerned and not be concerned about.

๐Ÿ“Œ So we can crumble the internal Stories that fear will create in our minds about situations.

And this doesnโ€™t just happen with news stories either! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

Think about situations you have with other people! ๐Ÿ‘ฅ

๐ŸŒŸ What Happened: Someone says to you, โ€œI appreciate you!โ€

๐Ÿ“– The Story You Tell About What Happened:

๐Ÿง  โ€œThey just said that to be nice.โ€

OR

๐Ÿง  โ€œTheyโ€™re right, I am amazing!โ€

OR

๐Ÿง  โ€œThey are weird for saying that! Iโ€™m not worth appreciating.โ€

๐ŸŒŸ What Happened: Your friend says he will be at your house in 10 minutes. He is late. He smiles when he sees you and says, โ€œIโ€™m sorry Iโ€™m late.โ€

๐Ÿ“– The Story You Tell About What Happened:

๐Ÿง  โ€œ5 minutes late, no big deal!โ€

OR

๐Ÿง  โ€œClearly he doesnโ€™t care enough to be on time!โ€

OR

๐Ÿง  โ€œHe just is not a person I can trust to be on time anymore!โ€

โญ You donโ€™t remember the Facts; you remember the Stories you created around the Facts. โญ

While I may be hitting the nail on the head a bit excessively here, I do this because I want you to see how much these internal Stories control our lives. ๐Ÿ‘

If we don’t control the Stories we tell ourselves, our Stories will control us! ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

So the next time you see hear a story on the news, read a tabloid article online, or have a conversation with someone which fills you up with negative emotions, take a step back. ๐Ÿ‘ฃ

Take a few deep breaths…๐ŸŒฌ๏ธ

๐Ÿ”Ž SEPARATE THE FACTS FROM THE STORIES!!! ๐Ÿ”Ž

Ask yourself:

๐Ÿค” What are the Facts this situation provides? Remember: feelings and opinions are NOT the same as Facts.

๐Ÿค” What are the Stories coming out of the situation in my mind? What is the meaning I’m giving to the situation?

Because when we continue to develop ourselves, when we continue to become more aware of the Stories we tell ourselves, when we see they are simply Stories we will then realize we have the power to change them. ๐Ÿ’ช

Because who doesn’t want to have more empowering Stories run their life? ๐Ÿฅฐ

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Please SHARE this post if you found it insightful! I hope it can also help others!

How Activism is a Blessing (and a CURSE)!

๐Ÿšจ PRO vs. ANTI ๐Ÿšจ
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๐Ÿ‘ You CAN be a Democrat and not be Anti-Republican.
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๐Ÿ‘ You CAN be a Capitalist and not be Anti-Communist.
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๐Ÿ‘ You CAN be a Vegetarian and not be Anti-Carnivore.
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๐Ÿ‘ You CAN be a Businessperson and not be Anti-Government.
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๐Ÿ‘ You CAN be an Atheist and not be Anti-Religion.
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๐Ÿ‘ You CAN be a Feminist and not be Anti-Men.
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๐Ÿ‘ You CAN support Black Lives Matter and not be Anti-Police.
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๐Ÿ‘ You CAN support Economic Growth and not be Anti-Environment.
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๐Ÿ‘ You CAN support MeToo and not be Anti-Skeptical.
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๐Ÿ‘ You CAN support Justice and not be Anti-Civil.
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๐Ÿ‘ You CAN support Local Businesses and not be Anti-Corporations.
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๐Ÿ‘ You CAN support Spirituality and not be Anti-Science.
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๐Ÿ‘ You CAN support Ending Racism and not be Anti-White.
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๐Ÿ‘ You CAN support Eating Healthy and not be Anti-Junk Food.
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It doesn’t have to be one OR the other. ๐Ÿ™‚
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I support activism. AND I also caution activism that’s without any critical thinking and self-criticism. ๐Ÿ’ฏ
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We CAN build a bridge without having to tear down someone else’s. ๐ŸŒ‰
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Support the causes you believe in. Be a part of the change you wish to see. Set the example for others to follow. ๐Ÿ™Œ
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Just be sure to keep an eye out when your focus has shifted from being more Pro to more Anti. ๐Ÿ‘€
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Because being Pro โค๏ธ versus being Anti ๐Ÿคฌ produce very different results.
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๐Ÿค” Which are YOU standing for? ๐Ÿค”