How To Embrace What’s In Your Control!

What you focus on expands. ๐Ÿ‘€

What you think about, you become. โค๏ธ

Where has your focus been lately? ๐Ÿค”

On problems? ๐Ÿ˜ฃ

On things outside your control? ๐Ÿ˜ซ

I know these both happened to me the past week. ๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™‚๏ธ

The realization at how much is out of our control can feel disheartening, right? ๐Ÿ’”

Especially when Life didn’t wait to give us this fact one bit at a time. ๐Ÿ‘ฃ

Instead it’s providing it via hailstorm lately. ๐ŸŒฉ๏ธ

So what do you do now? ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ

๐Ÿ™Œ Allow yourself to process this fact. ๐Ÿ™Œ

It’s a tough truth to think about. It was tough for me to sit with too. You’re not alone. โค๏ธ

There is A LOT which is outside of our control. ๐Ÿ˜“

But I do have some good news…๐Ÿ‘‚

There ARE things which are in your control! ๐Ÿ˜Š

We cannot control the circumstances where we are born. ๐Ÿ‘Ž

But we can control what how we use our circumstances. โค๏ธ

We cannot control the actions of others. ๐Ÿ‘Ž

But we can control our reaction to their actions. โค๏ธ

We cannot control what Fate ultimately brings us. ๐Ÿ‘Ž

But we can control how we decide to face our Fate. โค๏ธ

As you go through your day, ask yourself:

– Right now, what is within my control? ๐Ÿค”

– Right now, what is outside my control? ๐Ÿค”

– Right now, what can I do with what’s in my control? ๐Ÿค”

Keep the answers you find in mind for the choices you make today. ๐Ÿ™Œ

If you’re theistically inclined, you can also remember the words of the Serenity Prayer ๐Ÿ™:

“God, grant me the serenity to Accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.” ๐Ÿ™Œ

There’s a lot outside our control. ๐Ÿ’ฏ

But where hope is found is through this self-awareness: ๐Ÿ™Œ

๐Ÿ“Œ With the decisions we make in the present moment.

๐Ÿ“Œ With how we choose to treat each other.

๐Ÿ“Œ With how we embrace being the change we wish to see.

Let us not forget: you cannot have light without darkness, just as you cannot have darkness without light. โ˜ฏ๏ธ

One cannot exist without the other. โ†”๏ธ

Consider this post a part of the light that’s coming your way. โ˜€๏ธ

Why Acceptance is CRUCIAL!

๐ŸŒŸย “When you ARGUE with reality, you always lose.”ย ๐ŸŒŸ

If I can count the many times I’ve been stressed in my life, I can say looking back with certainty, they weren’t necessary if I just remembered this principle.ย ๐Ÿค”

Or to put it another way…

๐ŸŒŸย “What upsets people is not things themselves but their JUDGEMENTS about the things.”ย ๐ŸŒŸ

I want to let you know: we can save ourselves a TON of needless suffering if we remember this!ย ๐Ÿ‘

๐ŸŒŸย “ACCEPT things as they are, not worse then they are.”ย ๐ŸŒŸ

Often we do this unconsciously in our default mode setting, when we’re not actively paying attention to our thoughts and emotions. It’s why it’s so important we develop our self-awareness.ย ๐Ÿ’ฏ

And one way we start doing this is by practicing acceptance.ย ๐Ÿ™Œ

๐Ÿคฌย “But Donald! This thing that just happened SHOULD NEVER have happened! How can you ACCEPT such injustices?!”ย ๐Ÿคฌ

To clarify, acceptance doesn’t mean we support something. It means we consciously give neutrality to a situation, to our thoughts, and to our emotions. For a temporary moment, we don’t label it “good” or “bad”. It just is.ย ๐Ÿ‘

We accept whatever is in the present moment so we can clear our clouded minds and discern the situation with a much clearer understanding.ย ๐Ÿง˜โ€โ™‚๏ธ

So the next time you become aware of your emotions controlling you, take back the reins, identify the emotions that are arising, and accept them UNCONDITIONALLY. Yes, even acceptance of the “negative” emotions too!ย ๐Ÿ’ฏ

Add in some deep breaths, and you’ll be surprised how much faster they’ll pass with acceptance.ย ๐Ÿ˜„

“Now…where was I?”ย ๐Ÿ’ก

Why Separation is EMPOWERING!

Take the example of a bow, an arrow, and a target.ย ๐Ÿน

You’ve practiced for months. You’ve spent countless hours shooting arrows. And today is The Day, the day you decide you’ve practiced long enough to hit the bullseye multiple consecutive times!ย ๐ŸŽฏ

But somehow, you’re not at all nervous. You’re not even worried! You’ve practiced a lot, that’s for sure. But there’s one valuable lesson you’ve also learned in your life which rids you of needless worry…

๐ŸŒŸย Separate the things which are in your control from the things not in your control.ย ๐ŸŒŸ

To be kind to another person is within your control. To know if the person will be kind in return is not in your control.ย โค๏ธ

To tell the truth is in your control. To know if telling the truth will benefit you in your current situation is out of your control.ย ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ

To keep a promise is in your control. To know if someone else will keep their promise is out of your control.ย ๐Ÿค

To practice, to prepare, to aim, and shoot an arrow at a target is in your control. But to know if the arrow will hit the bullseye once it’s left your bow is not in your control.ย ๐Ÿน

The problem is we so often put focus on what’s not in our control. So much of the news we read, hear, and absorb today are about other people, other events, and things which are not at all in our control.ย ๐Ÿ“บ

So then we focus on the arrow even though it’s already left our bows. We focus on all the arrows of others even though they have nothing to do with our everyday lives. In doing so, we’re causing ourselves needless worry and anxiety!ย ๐Ÿ˜ซ

So what then? We must flip our focuses back to what we can control, not just for our own mental health but for the impact we make by doing so. We focus on being a good person. We focus on setting the example. We focus on taking action on things within our control.ย ๐Ÿ’ช

Because once you make a habit to start separating these two, placing all your energy into what’s in your control, you will save yourself a ton of time and stress!ย โค๏ธ

Why Your Emotions MATTER!

๐Ÿ›‘ย ๐—ฌ๐—ข๐—จ๐—ฅ ๐—˜๐— ๐—ข๐—ง๐—œ๐—ข๐—ก๐—ฆ ๐—”๐—ฅ๐—˜ ๐—ก๐—ข๐—ง ๐—ฆ๐—ฃ๐—”๐— !!!ย ๐Ÿ›‘

Do you ever feel lonely?ย โ˜น๏ธ

We all have at points in our lives. It’s important to add there’s a difference between “feeling lonely” and “being alone”. A person can be with a group of people and feel lonely. A person can be completely alone and feel fine.ย ๐Ÿ‘

So why do topics like mental health continue to be an issue in our society? I’ll give you 1 BIG reason:

โš ๏ธย ๐— ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜† ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ท๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ถ๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€ ๐—ฑ๐˜‚๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ณ๐—น๐˜‚๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€.ย โš ๏ธ

We’ve been taught to believe that emotions are a sign of weakness, that they aren’t useful in our modern world.ย ๐Ÿ˜”

๐Ÿ—ฃย “๐™…๐™ช๐™จ๐™ฉ ๐™—๐™š ๐™๐™–๐™ฅ๐™ฅ๐™ฎ!”ย ๐Ÿ—ฃ

๐Ÿ—ฃย “๐™”๐™ค๐™ช ๐™๐™–๐™ซ๐™š ๐™ฃ๐™ค ๐™ง๐™š๐™–๐™จ๐™ค๐™ฃ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™›๐™š๐™š๐™ก ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ž๐™จ ๐™ฌ๐™–๐™ฎ!”ย ๐Ÿ—ฃ

๐Ÿ—ฃย “๐™”๐™ค๐™ช’๐™ง๐™š ๐™—๐™š๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™ž๐™ง๐™ง๐™–๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™–๐™ก!”ย ๐Ÿ—ฃ

In people’s good intentions, they unfortunately made the problem worse. In their good intentions, they failed to meet the other person inside their emotional home.ย ๐Ÿ 

Why? Because many of them aren’t able or are willing to go in there themselves.ย ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

๐ŸŒŸย ๐—œ๐—ณ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ฝ ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฒ, ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐˜ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ง๐—›๐—˜๐—ฌ ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐˜, ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฌ๐—ข๐—จ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—บ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ.ย ๐ŸŒŸ

Because we’ve been taught so long not to accept our emotions is the reason why it’s a larger problem today. Psychologist Carl Jung said: “Whatever you resist persists and grows larger in size.”ย ๐Ÿ’ฌ

I see our current mental health crisis as the long-term response to embracing the idea of denying our emotions (which is in and of itself irrational as emotional beings). This bubble of “resistance” has grown so large that it’s finally burst. The pendulum is now swinging in the opposite direction.ย ๐Ÿคฌ

But with noting the problem, what is the solution?

๐ŸŒŸย ๐—ช๐—ฒ ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜€๐˜๐—ผ๐—ฝ ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ต๐—ผ๐—น๐—ผ๐—ด๐—ถ๐˜‡๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€, ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ถ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐˜† ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ด๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐˜€.ย ๐ŸŒŸ

What if we could see our emotions not as spam to delete but as mail giving us an important message about our lives?ย ๐Ÿ“ญ

What if we could see our emotions not as biological defects but as essential character traits for our evolutionary survival?ย ๐Ÿ’ช

How different would our society be if we stopped treating our emotions as nuisances and more as essential tools for our personal growth?ย ๐Ÿง 

I understand why some will disagree with me here:

๐Ÿ˜กย “๐‘ฐ๐’‡ ๐’š๐’๐’– ๐’๐’†๐’• ๐’‘๐’†๐’๐’‘๐’๐’† ๐’‡๐’๐’„๐’–๐’” ๐’๐’ ๐’•๐’‰๐’†๐’Š๐’“ ๐’๐’†๐’ˆ๐’‚๐’•๐’Š๐’—๐’† ๐’†๐’Ž๐’๐’•๐’Š๐’๐’๐’”, ๐’š๐’๐’– ๐’†๐’๐’‚๐’ƒ๐’๐’† ๐’•๐’‰๐’†๐’Ž ๐’•๐’ ๐’‡๐’†๐’†๐’ ๐’Ž๐’๐’“๐’† ๐’…๐’†๐’‘๐’“๐’†๐’”๐’”๐’†๐’…!”

๐Ÿ˜กย “๐‘ฌ๐’Ž๐’๐’•๐’Š๐’๐’๐’” ๐’Ž๐’‚๐’Œ๐’† ๐’š๐’๐’– ๐’Š๐’“๐’“๐’‚๐’•๐’Š๐’๐’๐’‚๐’! ๐‘พ๐’† ๐’๐’†๐’†๐’… ๐’๐’†๐’”๐’” ๐’†๐’Ž๐’๐’•๐’Š๐’๐’๐’” ๐’‚๐’๐’… ๐’Ž๐’๐’“๐’† ๐’๐’๐’ˆ๐’Š๐’„ ๐’‚๐’” ๐’•๐’‰๐’† ๐’”๐’๐’๐’–๐’•๐’Š๐’๐’!”

It’s funny because I very much agree with these statements, but to an extent. I definitely don’t want to enable anyone to feel more depressed. That’s the last thing I’d want to have happen! I also am a huge advocate for logic, reason, and critical thinking. I believe they’re crucial skills for the epistemic crises we will face.ย ๐Ÿ‘Œ

So I won’t throw either of those criticisms away but to say we can EXTEND on them!ย ๐Ÿ‘

โค๏ธย ๐—œ’๐—บ ๐˜๐—ฎ๐—น๐—ธ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฎ๐—ฏ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€ ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฒ๐—น๐—น๐—ถ๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐˜†, ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป, ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต ๐—ฝ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐˜€๐—ฒ, ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜ ๐—ฎ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐˜‚๐—น๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ.ย โค๏ธ

๐ŸŒŸย ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ’๐˜€ ๐—ฎ ๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ณ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐˜๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐—ผ๐˜„๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—น ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ถ๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€๐˜๐—ฟ๐˜‚๐—ฐ๐˜๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—น๐˜‚๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€ ๐˜ƒ๐˜€. ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐—ผ๐˜„๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—น ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ถ๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€ ๐˜€๐—ถ๐—บ๐—ฝ๐—น๐˜† ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฑ๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—น๐—น ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—บ.ย ๐ŸŒŸ

Mental health is so easily swept under the rug because it can be an unpleasant topic to discuss. The very reason we “resist” talking about it is the reason why it will “persist” and be discussed!ย ๐Ÿ‘

๐ŸŒŸย ๐—ช๐—ต๐—ถ๐—น๐—ฒ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐˜† ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜ ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐˜† ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—น ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ด๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€ ๐—ฑ๐—ฎ๐—ถ๐—น๐˜†, ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜๐˜† ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ฑ๐—ผ.ย ๐ŸŒŸ

The fact that a lot of us (including myself at times) aren’t willing to discuss it says a lot about how we treat our emotions in our society.ย ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ

Again, it’s NOT about dwelling on our emotions! That’s the last thing I want people to presume with what I say here!ย ๐Ÿ‘

โค๏ธย ๐—œ’๐—บ ๐˜๐—ฎ๐—น๐—ธ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฎ๐—ฏ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€ ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฒ๐—น๐—น๐—ถ๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐˜†, ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป, ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต ๐—ฝ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐˜€๐—ฒ, ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜ ๐—ฎ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐˜‚๐—น๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ.ย โค๏ธ

I share this with you all today:

โ˜ฏ๏ธย ๐—ฆ๐—ผ ๐˜„๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ฐ๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐˜๐˜† ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐—ผ๐˜„ ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—น๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ธ๐—ฎ๐˜† ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ถ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€.

โ˜ฏ๏ธย ๐—ฆ๐—ผ ๐˜„๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—น๐—ฒ๐˜ ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—น๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ต ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—ธ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜„ ๐—ถ๐˜’๐˜€ ๐—ผ๐—ธ๐—ฎ๐˜† ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ธ๐—ฎ๐˜†, ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฎ๐—ฏ๐—น๐—ฒ ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ๐—ฝ๐˜ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜ ๐—บ๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜.

โ˜ฏ๏ธย ๐—ฆ๐—ผ ๐˜„๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜‚๐—ฒ ๐—ฏ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฎ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐˜€๐˜€๐˜‚๐—ฒ.

โ˜ฏ๏ธย ๐—ฆ๐—ผ ๐˜„๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜‚๐—ฒ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜ ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฐ๐˜‚๐˜€ ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—น๐˜‚๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€.

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