Why Acceptance is CRUCIAL!

February 20, 2020 ~ Donald "Nugget" Arteaga ~ Leave a comment

🌟 “When you ARGUE with reality, you always lose.” 🌟

If I can count the many times I’ve been stressed in my life, I can say looking back with certainty, they weren’t necessary if I just remembered this principle. 🤔

Or to put it another way…

🌟 “What upsets people is not things themselves but their JUDGEMENTS about the things.” 🌟

I want to let you know: we can save ourselves a TON of needless suffering if we remember this! 👍

🌟 “ACCEPT things as they are, not worse then they are.” 🌟

Often we do this unconsciously in our default mode setting, when we’re not actively paying attention to our thoughts and emotions. It’s why it’s so important we develop our self-awareness. 💯

And one way we start doing this is by practicing acceptance. 🙌

🤬 “But Donald! This thing that just happened SHOULD NEVER have happened! How can you ACCEPT such injustices?!” 🤬

To clarify, acceptance doesn’t mean we support something. It means we consciously give neutrality to a situation, to our thoughts, and to our emotions. For a temporary moment, we don’t label it “good” or “bad”. It just is. 👐

We accept whatever is in the present moment so we can clear our clouded minds and discern the situation with a much clearer understanding. 🧘‍♂️

So the next time you become aware of your emotions controlling you, take back the reins, identify the emotions that are arising, and accept them UNCONDITIONALLY. Yes, even acceptance of the “negative” emotions too! 💯

Add in some deep breaths, and you’ll be surprised how much faster they’ll pass with acceptance. 😄

“Now…where was I?” 💡

Why Your Shadow’s GOOD!

February 1, 2020February 1, 2020 ~ Donald "Nugget" Arteaga ~ 3 Comments

💬 “Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. At all counts, it forms an unconscious snag, thwarting our most well-meant intentions.” ~ Carl Jung 💬

The Shadow consists of the parts we reject within ourselves, the primal emotions we suppress for societal approval or a desire to deny their existence. ❌

You could also refer to the Shadow like “the devil on your shoulder”, the thoughts that come up in your mind you’d never tell anyone else you thought. 👿

Think of the individual you know who is so kind, so loving, and so quiet. But one day you hear about an incident where they lost their temper and you think: “No, that is NOT the person I know! That is NOT who they are!” 🗣️

Or think of the priest who vocally condemns homosexuality in his church but is eventually found to have participated in homosexual acts. 😲

➡️ These are examples of the Shadow at play. ⬅️

When we fail to acknowledge and integrate our Shadow in our life, it comes out in destructive and harmful ways towards ourselves and others. 🔨

We will project our Shadows onto other people and proclaim “They are the immoral ones!” so we can deny the immorality laying within ourselves. 🎭

It’s why there’s so many people with emotional issues, immature adults who never had the opportunity to be in touch with themselves, instead having to settle for cultural expectations of possessing certain personality traits while suppressing others. ↕️

Jung also said: “What you resist not only persists but grows larger in size.” It’s why we should not resist our Shadow. We instead need to be aware of it so we can work with it. 💯

In some circles like self-help and spirituality, I’ve seen the idea of the Shadow being frowned upon. “Let go of the things which don’t serve you.” “If you focus on it, the more energy you give to it.” 👎

I understand those perspectives, however I take Jung’s perspective: “I’d rather be whole than good.” I’d rather accept every part of me, the good and the bad, the gentle and the aggressive, than suppress them. 👤

🤔 So how does one integrate their Shadow? 🤔

The first step is our acknowledgment of its existence, these “dark” part of ourselves we keep rejecting. It doesn’t mean we need to express our Shadows or identify with them, but rather we’re brutally honest about seeing every part of ourselves. 💯

📍 The gentle man acknowledges his capacity for aggression.

📍 The innocent woman acknowledges her capacity for manipulation.

📍 The homophobic priest acknowledges his capacity for homosexual desires.

📍 The Dr. Jekyll acknowledges his capacity for Mr. Hyde.

We acknowledge our capacity for evil while simultaneously choosing to be good. 🎭

With this acknowledgement and acceptance of ourselves, we can now take action! Rather than letting our Shadows control us, we now can take control over them! 💪

🤔 “I consider myself a kind, gentle, and compassionate person. But I acknowledge there’s an aggressively angry part of me that surfaces and comes out when people take advantage of my kindness. How can I integrate this Shadow part of me in a way that won’t hurt others?” 🤔

What are some ways you can use your Shadow energy of anger and aggression in you for more constructive means?

You could take up a competitive sport. You could use this energy in your workouts. You could use it to get your work done faster. You could use it for situations that legitimately call these energies to be used. 😁

👊 The difference now is YOU ARE IN CONTROL. You are using your Shadow rather than letting your Shadow use you! 👊

It’s what I mean when I tell people “don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater”. 👶

Integrating our Shadow can be useful, but we always have to be sure we’re in control and using it in healthy ways. Will you possess your Shadow, or will you allow it to possess you? 😈

Why Separation is EMPOWERING!

September 20, 2019 ~ Donald "Nugget" Arteaga ~ Leave a comment

Take the example of a bow, an arrow, and a target. 🏹

You’ve practiced for months. You’ve spent countless hours shooting arrows. And today is The Day, the day you decide you’ve practiced long enough to hit the bullseye multiple consecutive times! 🎯

But somehow, you’re not at all nervous. You’re not even worried! You’ve practiced a lot, that’s for sure. But there’s one valuable lesson you’ve also learned in your life which rids you of needless worry…

🌟 Separate the things which are in your control from the things not in your control. 🌟

To be kind to another person is within your control. To know if the person will be kind in return is not in your control. ❤️

To tell the truth is in your control. To know if telling the truth will benefit you in your current situation is out of your control. 🗣️

To keep a promise is in your control. To know if someone else will keep their promise is out of your control. 🤝

To practice, to prepare, to aim, and shoot an arrow at a target is in your control. But to know if the arrow will hit the bullseye once it’s left your bow is not in your control. 🏹

The problem is we so often put focus on what’s not in our control. So much of the news we read, hear, and absorb today are about other people, other events, and things which are not at all in our control. 📺

So then we focus on the arrow even though it’s already left our bows. We focus on all the arrows of others even though they have nothing to do with our everyday lives. In doing so, we’re causing ourselves needless worry and anxiety! 😫

So what then? We must flip our focuses back to what we can control, not just for our own mental health but for the impact we make by doing so. We focus on being a good person. We focus on setting the example. We focus on taking action on things within our control. 💪

Because once you make a habit to start separating these two, placing all your energy into what’s in your control, you will save yourself a ton of time and stress! ❤️

Why Your Emotions MATTER!

September 4, 2019 ~ Donald "Nugget" Arteaga ~ Leave a comment

🛑 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗘𝗠𝗢𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦 𝗔𝗥𝗘 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗦𝗣𝗔𝗠!!! 🛑

Do you ever feel lonely? ☹️

We all have at points in our lives. It’s important to add there’s a difference between “feeling lonely” and “being alone”. A person can be with a group of people and feel lonely. A person can be completely alone and feel fine. 👍

So why do topics like mental health continue to be an issue in our society? I’ll give you 1 BIG reason:

⚠️ 𝗠𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗷𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗱𝘂𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀. ⚠️

We’ve been taught to believe that emotions are a sign of weakness, that they aren’t useful in our modern world. 😔

🗣 “𝙅𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙮!” 🗣

🗣 “𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙣𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙖𝙮!” 🗣

🗣 “𝙔𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙧𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡!” 🗣

In people’s good intentions, they unfortunately made the problem worse. In their good intentions, they failed to meet the other person inside their emotional home. 🏠

Why? Because many of them aren’t able or are willing to go in there themselves. 😲

🌟 𝗜𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗲𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗬 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝘁, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲. 🌟

Because we’ve been taught so long not to accept our emotions is the reason why it’s a larger problem today. Psychologist Carl Jung said: “Whatever you resist persists and grows larger in size.” 💬

I see our current mental health crisis as the long-term response to embracing the idea of denying our emotions (which is in and of itself irrational as emotional beings). This bubble of “resistance” has grown so large that it’s finally burst. The pendulum is now swinging in the opposite direction. 🤬

But with noting the problem, what is the solution?

🌟 𝗪𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗽 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗶𝘇𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀, 𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀. 🌟

What if we could see our emotions not as spam to delete but as mail giving us an important message about our lives? 📭

What if we could see our emotions not as biological defects but as essential character traits for our evolutionary survival? 💪

How different would our society be if we stopped treating our emotions as nuisances and more as essential tools for our personal growth? 🧠

I understand why some will disagree with me here:

😡 “𝑰𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒄𝒖𝒔 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒏𝒆𝒈𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒆𝒏𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒅𝒆𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅!”

😡 “𝑬𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒊𝒓𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍! 𝑾𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒊𝒄 𝒂𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒍𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏!”

It’s funny because I very much agree with these statements, but to an extent. I definitely don’t want to enable anyone to feel more depressed. That’s the last thing I’d want to have happen! I also am a huge advocate for logic, reason, and critical thinking. I believe they’re crucial skills for the epistemic crises we will face. 👌

So I won’t throw either of those criticisms away but to say we can EXTEND on them! 👍

❤️ 𝗜’𝗺 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘆, 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻, 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗽𝘂𝗿𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗲, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮𝘀 𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝗱𝘂𝗹𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲. ❤️

🌟 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝗮 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘃𝘀. 𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘀𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺. 🌟

Mental health is so easily swept under the rug because it can be an unpleasant topic to discuss. The very reason we “resist” talking about it is the reason why it will “persist” and be discussed! 👏

🌟 𝗪𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗺𝗮𝘆 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗻𝗲𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗱𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘆, 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼. 🌟

The fact that a lot of us (including myself at times) aren’t willing to discuss it says a lot about how we treat our emotions in our society. 😟

Again, it’s NOT about dwelling on our emotions! That’s the last thing I want people to presume with what I say here! 👍

I share this with you all today:

☯️ 𝗦𝗼 𝘄𝗲 𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝘀𝗼𝗰𝗶𝗲𝘁𝘆 𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝘅𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀.

☯️ 𝗦𝗼 𝘄𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗹𝗲𝘁 𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗶𝘁’𝘀 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝗻𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁.

☯️ 𝗦𝗼 𝘄𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝘂𝗲 𝗯𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗲.

☯️ 𝗦𝗼 𝘄𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝘂𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀.

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