Why It Is HARD To Change!

😡 “WHY CAN’T I CHANGE?!” 😡

Have you ever wanted to make a big change in your life? Say for example you wanted to lose a significant amount of weight. 👊

But simultaneously there was a part of you that didn’t want to change, didn’t want to take the actions required to make the change. Can you relate? 🙋‍♂️

“BUT WHY?!”

I can give you one big reason! 🙌

But before I do, the first thing we need to remember is we are creatures of habit. From the words we say to the mannerisms we use to the kinds of foods we eat, habits shape our lives for better or for worse. ↕️

We are also creatures of emotion. We are driven to do things because of how they make us feel, make us feel pain or feel pleasure. ↔️

But it’s important we remember that we associate different meanings to different things. 🤨

One person going to the gym sees it as a “chore”. Another sees it as a “necessity”. One person eating fast food sees it as a “indulgence”. Another sees it as “unhealthy”. It’s all about perspective! 👀

So why is it so hard to change our habits? I’ll give you one big reason! ⚠️

🌟 We associate more pleasure to keeping our old habits than to building a new one. 🌟

It’s why I didn’t lose weight for such a long time! I desired to be thin, and I desired to be fit. But in my mind, the pleasure of eating fast food and soda every day outweighed any desire to go to the gym! 😔

Most importantly: building a new habit takes TIME! I cannot emphasize that enough, because it’s one of the biggest reasons people “fall back” to old habits. ↩️

I’ve had to catch myself at times too! 😅

So I don’t blame you if you say it’s not easy to change. It isn’t! Think of it like this…🤔

If you’re going to build a new habit, it will be among old habits you’ve possessed for years, perhaps even decades, that you will be competing against! 😅

Don’t be too hard on yourself! You got this! ❤️

Why Change Is POSSIBLE! (PERSONAL)

😱 4 YEARS!!! 😱

This afternoon I took a look at my calendar 📆 and my eyes started to water.😭 I couldn’t believe it! 2 weeks from now it will have been 4 years. 🥳

It’s hard for me to still fathom it’s really been that long! 🤯

The song “Seasons of Love” asks: ‘How do you measure a year?’ 🎶 But my mind is still trying to wrap around how to measure the past 4! 😅

🗣️ “What are you talking about Donald?!” 🗣️

I should probably explain! 2 weeks from now it will have been exactly 4 years…🔎

…since I was under 25. 😱 I was so young then, but 4 years later I’m now just a grumpy old man! 😭

🤣 JUST KIDDING!!! 🤣

Seriously though, 4 years ago I was That Guy on the left in the photo.

📌 4 years ago I was That Guy who binged on junk food every day.

📌 4 years ago I was That Guy who drank 3 to 4 cans of soda every day.

📌 4 years ago I was That Guy who refused even substituting his drinks for Diet Soda.

📌 4 years ago I was That Guy who was so picky about eating vegetables he’d literally gag trying to swallow them because of his fear of textures.

And where did this inability to change bring That Guy? 🤔

To weigh over 234 pounds. ⚖️ To have junk food and soda as his addictions and closest companions. To feel tired and sleepy more often than not. 😴 To never like being in photos because of the way he looked. To always feel the need to lift his chin up so his double chin didn’t show. 😔

That Guy really didn’t like how he looked or how unhealthy he ate. But regardless, him holding onto his comfort zone outweighed any inspiration to try and be thinner or be happier. 🤷‍♂️

If any of you can read this and relate, you’re not alone! ❤️

I don’t necessarily mean with weight but with our general unwillingness to change things in our lives a small part of us really wants to change. While there’s that part of us that really wants to change, we nevertheless don’t change. 😕

🚬 You know quitting smoking would benefit your lung health. But you don’t.

🍔 You know eating less junk food and more vegetables would help you lose weight. But you don’t.

🚴 You know exercising would help keep your muscles strong. But you don’t.

But why? Why don’t we change? If it’s really as simple as doing or not doing something, then why don’t we do it?! 😵

Because we as humans…are complicated! 😅

For one thing, we are creatures of habit. It’s easier for us to break an old habit than it is to build a new one. 👍 You’ve probably heard the term: “Old habits die hard.” It’s very true, and I’ve experienced it before too! 😝

Building a new habit requires a lot of focus. 👀 It requires consistent effort. Until it becomes a full on habit in your daily life, it’s going to continue feeling difficult. 😓

But don’t be too hard on yourself either! Think of it like this: say you’ve smoked for a decade and then decide to quit. 🚭 You will then be faced with a smoking habit decades old all while you’re building the new habit to not smoke. Of course this won’t be easy! It’s an uphill battle with your Habitual Brain! 😊

As much as I’d love to tell you new habits are built overnight, they aren’t. 👎It’s why most people don’t succeed doing it. If building a new habit was so easy to build, everybody would do it! 👍

But again, you’re not alone! ❤️ That Guy in the photo wasn’t willing to either! Sure, he wanted to be thinner and healthier, but why would he substitute that for all the short-term pleasures he experienced from junk food and soda? 🤷‍♂️

He even told himself: “I don’t have to worry about my health until the doctor says I have to.” 😱

So what happened 4 years ago that set That Guy down a path into who is now, Me present day? 🤔

🌟 His desire to change had to become stronger than his desire not to change. 🌟

⚠️ The problem was That Guy was always focused on his short-term pleasure; he was not focused on the long-term pain.

⚠️ He was focused on the pleasures of junk food and soda; he was not focused on the long-term medical issues he’d have because of them.

⚠️ He was focused on himself; he was not focused on the people who were trying to help him and whose advice he kept ignoring.

So when That Guy saw the path he was heading down for years to come, it planted a Seed of Horror in his mind that he had to change NOW! 🛑

Like Scrooge in “A Christmas Carol”, it was his vision of a horrific future which pushed That Guy to say: “Enough is enough!” ❌…

So here I am now, after 80 pounds lost, a No Soda policy, and many vegetables consumed! 🥦 That Guy has evolved into Me on the right. I like to call him Ace. Ace has since let That Guy retire, because now Ace likes running the show! 😎

So there’s something you really need to know! ✋

👍 I’m not going to pretend like this physical transformation happened overnight. It didn’t.

👍 I’m not going to put on an act like it was the easiest thing to do in the world. It wasn’t.

👍 I’m not going to try and make you believe I never zig-zagged during my transformation. I did…many times!

But what I will tell you though is that it is indeed possible for you to change when you set your mind to it. ❤️

One of my favorite speakers Les Brown talks about the Power of Possibility: “Sometimes we can’t say ‘I can do that’. But what we can say is that ‘it’s possible’.” 🗣️

🌟 If you can allow yourself to visualize the possibility of a future greater than the one you’re living now, you’ve already provided an opening for yourself to step forward. 🌟

So with this post I want to plant the seed in your mind that it is possible for you too, in whatever it is you’re looking to change! 😄

I’m not saying it will be easy. I’m not saying it will always be fun. But when you have doubts come up, remind yourself why you started in the first place. 🤔

👤 Do something today your future self will thank you for. 👤

Lastly, I have to give credit to the most powerful visual exercise I ever experienced which sealed the deal for me to change all those 4 years ago. 👍

It was attending Tony Robbins’s “Unleash the Power Within” event for the first time that I experienced what is known as the Dickens Process. 😲

I’d love to tell you more, but I’d rather you experienced the event for yourself without spoilers. I can tell you how a candy bar tastes, but it’s a whole other thing to actually taste it. 🍫

I’m not saying attending the event is your only tool, only that it’s a damn fine one in your Arsenal for Change if you do! It was for me! ❤️

COMMENT below if you’ve attended UPW before or are interested in attending! 😁

.

DONATE TO MY PATREONhttps://bit.ly/2HTZHpF

How We’re Always CHANGING!

🙌 We are always changing. 🙌
.
There’s this thought that has been on my mind the past weekend. And let me add: whenever I have a thought I’m really interested in exploring, what starts as a single thought grows into a multi-faceted set of ideas in my head. I take many routes. 🧠
.
It’s what psychologists commonly refer to as a “flow state”. It’s a state where some of my favorite posts have been written. It’s a state where time stops and I’m mentally swimming in an ocean of ideas. 🌊
.
Yesterday as I helped load out the last of Tony Robbins’s UPW event materials at the LA Convention Center, I became reminded of the day before where the thought I’m talking about first came to mind…
.
🌟 Change is a part of life. The question is if we’re consciously choosing to change or if we’re letting our environment choose the change for us. 🌟
.
…The day before I had briefly met up with an old high school friend I hadn’t seen since 2010. We had a really insightful and meaningful conversation. He told me about what he had been doing since high school, and like myself he had chosen a road less traveled. It was a life which filled him up and not one which the status quo may expect one to choose. 🙌
.
In a way, I felt like I was talking with him for the first time. I found I had a lot more in common with him now than I did in high school. As we parted ways and I got an Uber, this thought of Change had become planted in my focus. 👁
.
To say he had changed would be only giving partial credit. We both had changed. Grown. Evolved. 👥
.
I started to think about my other friends from high school, wondering what they may be doing now, what lives they had chosen for themselves, or whether they were letting life choose for them. I thought about the decisions we all make as individuals which set the trajectory for where we will end up long-term. I thought about how the littlest of change in our actions can make the biggest of impact in our lives. ❤️
.
🌟 Whatever we do, wherever we go, whatever we see, whatever we feel, it all has shaped us into the person we are this very moment. 🌟
.
So why am I sharing this all with you? 🤔
.
It’s because I’m also thinking about the 15,000 participants who attended this past weekend at Unleash the Power Within. I’m thinking about the participants who have been given a handful of knowledge and understanding and what they are going to do with it. 🤔
.
Will they use it to change their lives for the better? Will they fall back to their old ways of thinking? Will they come back to what they learned later since the seed has already been planted in their minds? They each have an opportunity to Change. As they say at the event: The biggest growth starts the day after the event, when the choice is now up to you.
.
With me traveling to LA…with me Crewing another event…with me making new friends here…with me seeing my high school friend…with me typing this very post…I am changing. 🙌
.
And I did it with purpose. Eudaimonia. ❤️ #TranscendLabels

.

FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA

Patreon: https://bit.ly/2HTZHpF

LinkedIn: https://bit.ly/2RER81M

Facebook: https://bit.ly/2DSebCh

Instagram: https://bit.ly/2t2Kd8A

Holonis: https://bit.ly/2t8Rwvi

Negativity & Being Gandhi’s Change

Mahatma Gandhi said: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

I remember last August when I read about the political protests that happened in Charlottesville. I was to say the least devastated. My mind yelled: ‘More violence?! More hate?! What is this world coming to?!‘ In the moment, I started to feel discouraged, like my mission for doing good had only become tougher. I felt scared, like this world was only continuing to become more dangerous every minute. Continue reading “Negativity & Being Gandhi’s Change”