Why It’s 100% OKAY!

I wish I had heard these words back when I suffered with depression.ย ๐Ÿ˜ž

Yes, for nearly a decade I suffered with depression. It’s why I’m so passionate about mental health today!ย ๐Ÿ‘Š

It’s because I’ve been there that I want to show others there’s ways out of it.

And the 1st thing I’d say to someone who is depressed is these words…

โค๏ธย IT’S OKAY…TO NOT BE OKAY.ย โค๏ธ

“But Donald, don’t enable people to keep being depressed! We want to get them OUT of depression, not stay in it! Don’t be stupid!”ย ๐Ÿคช

Ah, but I agree with you here! I don’t want people to be in negative emotional states any longer than they need to be! We’re on the same page here!ย ๐Ÿ˜Š

Where we differ is in the solution!ย โ†”๏ธ

I won’t allow them to shame their emotions. If there’s anything I’ve learned in overcoming depression, it wasn’t by trying to push and force my emotions out of my mind. In fact, I see this method causing much more harm than good.ย ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

Hear me out! As a regular meditator, one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned with this practice is that our emotions, like our thoughts, are like the weather; they are temporary.ย ๐Ÿ’จ

But the more we resist them when they do appear (our thoughts, our emotions) and we demonize them, the longer they tend to remain.ย ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

If I told you right now NOT think of a pink elephant, what just came into your mind? And if I kept telling you to stop thinking about the pink elephant, what thought remains?ย ๐Ÿ˜

๐ŸŒŸย Your constant focus on what you don’t want is why it’s still here. It has the OPPOSITE effect from what you intend.ย ๐ŸŒŸ

๐Ÿ“Œย Accept WHATEVER you’re feeling. Place no positive or negative label on your present emotions.

๐Ÿ“Œย See if there’s any message your emotions are trying to give you. For depression: the message may be you’re focusing too much on negative thoughts. For anxiety: the message may be you’re doing too many things at once.

๐Ÿ“Œย Once your emotions have no further use, start taking actions in behavior to shift your feelings. It’s different from demonizing and suppressing your feelings. Your behavior will influence the change. Remember: FEELINGS FOLLOW BEHAVIOR!

Hope this helps!ย โค๏ธ

Why Your Emotions MATTER!

๐Ÿ›‘ย ๐—ฌ๐—ข๐—จ๐—ฅ ๐—˜๐— ๐—ข๐—ง๐—œ๐—ข๐—ก๐—ฆ ๐—”๐—ฅ๐—˜ ๐—ก๐—ข๐—ง ๐—ฆ๐—ฃ๐—”๐— !!!ย ๐Ÿ›‘

Do you ever feel lonely?ย โ˜น๏ธ

We all have at points in our lives. It’s important to add there’s a difference between “feeling lonely” and “being alone”. A person can be with a group of people and feel lonely. A person can be completely alone and feel fine.ย ๐Ÿ‘

So why do topics like mental health continue to be an issue in our society? I’ll give you 1 BIG reason:

โš ๏ธย ๐— ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜† ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ท๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ถ๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€ ๐—ฑ๐˜‚๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ณ๐—น๐˜‚๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€.ย โš ๏ธ

We’ve been taught to believe that emotions are a sign of weakness, that they aren’t useful in our modern world.ย ๐Ÿ˜”

๐Ÿ—ฃย “๐™…๐™ช๐™จ๐™ฉ ๐™—๐™š ๐™๐™–๐™ฅ๐™ฅ๐™ฎ!”ย ๐Ÿ—ฃ

๐Ÿ—ฃย “๐™”๐™ค๐™ช ๐™๐™–๐™ซ๐™š ๐™ฃ๐™ค ๐™ง๐™š๐™–๐™จ๐™ค๐™ฃ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™›๐™š๐™š๐™ก ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ž๐™จ ๐™ฌ๐™–๐™ฎ!”ย ๐Ÿ—ฃ

๐Ÿ—ฃย “๐™”๐™ค๐™ช’๐™ง๐™š ๐™—๐™š๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™ž๐™ง๐™ง๐™–๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™–๐™ก!”ย ๐Ÿ—ฃ

In people’s good intentions, they unfortunately made the problem worse. In their good intentions, they failed to meet the other person inside their emotional home.ย ๐Ÿ 

Why? Because many of them aren’t able or are willing to go in there themselves.ย ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

๐ŸŒŸย ๐—œ๐—ณ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ฝ ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฒ, ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐˜ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ง๐—›๐—˜๐—ฌ ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐˜, ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฌ๐—ข๐—จ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—บ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ.ย ๐ŸŒŸ

Because we’ve been taught so long not to accept our emotions is the reason why it’s a larger problem today. Psychologist Carl Jung said: “Whatever you resist persists and grows larger in size.”ย ๐Ÿ’ฌ

I see our current mental health crisis as the long-term response to embracing the idea of denying our emotions (which is in and of itself irrational as emotional beings). This bubble of “resistance” has grown so large that it’s finally burst. The pendulum is now swinging in the opposite direction.ย ๐Ÿคฌ

But with noting the problem, what is the solution?

๐ŸŒŸย ๐—ช๐—ฒ ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜€๐˜๐—ผ๐—ฝ ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ต๐—ผ๐—น๐—ผ๐—ด๐—ถ๐˜‡๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€, ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ถ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐˜† ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ด๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐˜€.ย ๐ŸŒŸ

What if we could see our emotions not as spam to delete but as mail giving us an important message about our lives?ย ๐Ÿ“ญ

What if we could see our emotions not as biological defects but as essential character traits for our evolutionary survival?ย ๐Ÿ’ช

How different would our society be if we stopped treating our emotions as nuisances and more as essential tools for our personal growth?ย ๐Ÿง 

I understand why some will disagree with me here:

๐Ÿ˜กย “๐‘ฐ๐’‡ ๐’š๐’๐’– ๐’๐’†๐’• ๐’‘๐’†๐’๐’‘๐’๐’† ๐’‡๐’๐’„๐’–๐’” ๐’๐’ ๐’•๐’‰๐’†๐’Š๐’“ ๐’๐’†๐’ˆ๐’‚๐’•๐’Š๐’—๐’† ๐’†๐’Ž๐’๐’•๐’Š๐’๐’๐’”, ๐’š๐’๐’– ๐’†๐’๐’‚๐’ƒ๐’๐’† ๐’•๐’‰๐’†๐’Ž ๐’•๐’ ๐’‡๐’†๐’†๐’ ๐’Ž๐’๐’“๐’† ๐’…๐’†๐’‘๐’“๐’†๐’”๐’”๐’†๐’…!”

๐Ÿ˜กย “๐‘ฌ๐’Ž๐’๐’•๐’Š๐’๐’๐’” ๐’Ž๐’‚๐’Œ๐’† ๐’š๐’๐’– ๐’Š๐’“๐’“๐’‚๐’•๐’Š๐’๐’๐’‚๐’! ๐‘พ๐’† ๐’๐’†๐’†๐’… ๐’๐’†๐’”๐’” ๐’†๐’Ž๐’๐’•๐’Š๐’๐’๐’” ๐’‚๐’๐’… ๐’Ž๐’๐’“๐’† ๐’๐’๐’ˆ๐’Š๐’„ ๐’‚๐’” ๐’•๐’‰๐’† ๐’”๐’๐’๐’–๐’•๐’Š๐’๐’!”

It’s funny because I very much agree with these statements, but to an extent. I definitely don’t want to enable anyone to feel more depressed. That’s the last thing I’d want to have happen! I also am a huge advocate for logic, reason, and critical thinking. I believe they’re crucial skills for the epistemic crises we will face.ย ๐Ÿ‘Œ

So I won’t throw either of those criticisms away but to say we can EXTEND on them!ย ๐Ÿ‘

โค๏ธย ๐—œ’๐—บ ๐˜๐—ฎ๐—น๐—ธ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฎ๐—ฏ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€ ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฒ๐—น๐—น๐—ถ๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐˜†, ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป, ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต ๐—ฝ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐˜€๐—ฒ, ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜ ๐—ฎ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐˜‚๐—น๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ.ย โค๏ธ

๐ŸŒŸย ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ’๐˜€ ๐—ฎ ๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ณ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐˜๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐—ผ๐˜„๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—น ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ถ๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€๐˜๐—ฟ๐˜‚๐—ฐ๐˜๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—น๐˜‚๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€ ๐˜ƒ๐˜€. ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐—ผ๐˜„๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—น ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ถ๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€ ๐˜€๐—ถ๐—บ๐—ฝ๐—น๐˜† ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฑ๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—น๐—น ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—บ.ย ๐ŸŒŸ

Mental health is so easily swept under the rug because it can be an unpleasant topic to discuss. The very reason we “resist” talking about it is the reason why it will “persist” and be discussed!ย ๐Ÿ‘

๐ŸŒŸย ๐—ช๐—ต๐—ถ๐—น๐—ฒ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐˜† ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜ ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐˜† ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—น ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ด๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€ ๐—ฑ๐—ฎ๐—ถ๐—น๐˜†, ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜๐˜† ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ฑ๐—ผ.ย ๐ŸŒŸ

The fact that a lot of us (including myself at times) aren’t willing to discuss it says a lot about how we treat our emotions in our society.ย ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ

Again, it’s NOT about dwelling on our emotions! That’s the last thing I want people to presume with what I say here!ย ๐Ÿ‘

โค๏ธย ๐—œ’๐—บ ๐˜๐—ฎ๐—น๐—ธ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฎ๐—ฏ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€ ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฒ๐—น๐—น๐—ถ๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐˜†, ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป, ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต ๐—ฝ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐˜€๐—ฒ, ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜ ๐—ฎ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐˜‚๐—น๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ.ย โค๏ธ

I share this with you all today:

โ˜ฏ๏ธย ๐—ฆ๐—ผ ๐˜„๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ฐ๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐˜๐˜† ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐—ผ๐˜„ ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—น๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ธ๐—ฎ๐˜† ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ถ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€.

โ˜ฏ๏ธย ๐—ฆ๐—ผ ๐˜„๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—น๐—ฒ๐˜ ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—น๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ต ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—ธ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜„ ๐—ถ๐˜’๐˜€ ๐—ผ๐—ธ๐—ฎ๐˜† ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ธ๐—ฎ๐˜†, ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฎ๐—ฏ๐—น๐—ฒ ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ๐—ฝ๐˜ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜ ๐—บ๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜.

โ˜ฏ๏ธย ๐—ฆ๐—ผ ๐˜„๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜‚๐—ฒ ๐—ฏ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฎ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐˜€๐˜€๐˜‚๐—ฒ.

โ˜ฏ๏ธย ๐—ฆ๐—ผ ๐˜„๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜‚๐—ฒ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜ ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฐ๐˜‚๐˜€ ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—น๐˜‚๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€.

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How We STOP Throwing Out Babies!

โš ๏ธ DON’T THROW OUT THE BABY!!! โš ๏ธ

๏ธโ€œWhat the devil are you talking about, Donald?!โ€ย ๏ธ

Let me explain!ย ย For those who knew me a few years ago, I’m not the same person I was back then. Iโ€™ve grown A TON, had many personal transformations, and had many new experiences!

Just as we all get older, weโ€™re never the exact same person we were the moment before. Weโ€™re 1 more second older. 1 more second alive. 1 more second existing. โŒ›

And what we do with the time we have on this planet is our choice!ย 

For me, I like to spend time creating content for you all, like this post! My desire is to provide thoughtful posts, ones you can use long after youโ€™ve read them.ย ๏ธ

If I can have at least 1 person be touched or be inspired by my posts to take action in their lives for the better, thatโ€™s all I ask!ย ๏ธ

๏ธโ€œBut Donald! What were you talking about before, about babies?!โ€ย ๏ธ

Oh yes, the baby! Right!

Anyways, with this quick growth of mine has also came valuable lessons I’ve learned. One of these lessons I want to share with you all today.ย ๏ธ

I’m talking about: not throwing out the baby with the bathwater.

And since this is the internet where things can be misinterpreted or taken out of context, I want to clarify with you all here: ‘Throw out the baby with the bathwater’ is just a figure of speech. It is not meant to be taken literally, and there is no physical baby or bathwater!

๏ธโ€œSo Donald, what does this phrase mean?โ€ย ๏ธ

So when you say to someone โ€œDonโ€™t throw out the baby with the bathwaterโ€, you are telling the other person not to get rid of the good with the bad. You are telling them within the bad there’s still some good that can be taken out of it.

Take the example of a broken car: just because a car is broken does not mean every part of the car is also broken too. There may still be some working parts in the car you can use in a working car instead.

โš ๏ธ DON’T THROW OUT THE BABY!!! โš ๏ธ

So why should we all โ€œnot throw out the baby with the bathwaterโ€? Because in our society, we do it A LOT!

It’s the reason why thereโ€™s so much division among people.ย Because weโ€™re unwilling to understand that someoneโ€™s political party, religion, or peer group does not 100% define them as a person, we throw out any possibility of getting to know them any further.

We close ourselves off to different perspectives, different ways of seeing the world, different ways of solving problems, and most importantly reminding ourselves weโ€™re all human beings.

Just like the broken car, we wouldn’t automatically assume everything about another person was broken just because we didn’t like them, right?

โ€ฆOr would we?

โš ๏ธย DON’T THROW OUT THE BABY!!!ย โš ๏ธ

I donโ€™t say this to sound condescending. I’ve fallen into this trap before too! Youโ€™re not alone!

It’s easy for us to stay attached to our personal beliefs and not be open to others.ย Our beliefs give us a sense of control and order to our lives.ย Beliefs give us security. Beliefs provide the answers to life’s unanswered questions. Beliefs give us absolute truth where we don’t have absolutes.

Our beliefs are what gives us our identity. It’s completely understandable why people would feel hostility towards people who are not like themselves.

But at the root of that feeling, this refusal to understand, is simply fear.

In order for this to change:

  • We need to be open to accepting the fact there are other people in world who have different perspectives than yourself.
  • We need to be open to being ‘wrong’.
  • We need to develop empathy towards others.
  • We need to remember our beliefs are not our own. Think about it: Beliefs are opinions and viewpoints on life you have picked up over time in your life. You didn’t have them the moment you were born.
  • We need to remind ourselves we’re all human beings on this planet.

Because when we dismiss someone and their beliefs, we donโ€™t just “throw out the baby with the bathwater”.ย We throw out the human being with their beliefs.ย 

โš ๏ธย DON’T THROW OUT THE BABY!!!ย โš ๏ธ

So the next time you’re talking with another person:

  • Remember we all come from different walks of life, and we all have reasons for believing what we believe.
  • Empathize. Place yourself in the other person’s shoes. You may learn something new you didnโ€™t know before.
  • Seek to understand why the other person believes what they believe. Let me emphasize: this does NOT mean you have to agree with what they believe. It just means you understand why they believe what they do.

As I like to remind everyone, I’m only human too. I sometimes need these reminders myself. This is a lesson I continue to learn too!

But with these solutions in our minds, we all can make further progress towards working alongside our fellow neighbors.ย ๏ธ

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Why Fear OVERSTAYS Its Welcome! (PERSONAL)

๐Ÿ‘Šย FEAR HAS OVERSTAYED ITS WELCOME!ย ๐Ÿ‘Š

I’ve been afraid of rejection.ย โŒ

I’ve been afraid of being misunderstood.ย ๐Ÿ‘ค

I’ve been afraid of not belonging.ย ๐Ÿ˜จ

Fear has spoken to me on MANY occasions, always knocking on the door of my mental home, including the very moment before I broke this board at#GYLS2019.ย ๐Ÿ 

Fear is the primal instinct that lies within us all, the emotion which once used to be a necessity for our ancestor’s very survival.ย ๐Ÿ’ฏ

But here, now in our modern society, Fear has long overstayed its welcome.ย ๐Ÿ‘

๐Ÿ‘Šย FEAR HAS OVERSTAYED ITS WELCOME!ย ๐Ÿ‘Š

Why? Because so many of us are now living in a day and age weโ€™re no longer struggling to get our basic needs met. Weโ€™re no longer face-to-face with Death the way our ancestors were.ย ๐Ÿ‘ฅ

I always remember this when I talk to my grandmother about her past and what she had to go through in her life.ย ๐Ÿ‘ต

As a child, she didnโ€™t know when she would get her next meal. Her family couldn’t always afford enough food for every child. She told me how hard it was on her mother not being able to afford to feel all her children an adequate meal.ย ๐Ÿ˜”

I compare the life she had to the ones many of us are privileged to live today, the amount of food and options we have available to us today, not a thought in our mind on whether we will get dinner or not.ย ๐Ÿฅ—

It’s why every time I go to her house she offers me more food than I will ever eat. And when I tell her Iโ€™m full, she always will eventually offer me dessert!ย ๐Ÿช

You could say: “That’s just what grandmas do!” But I also remind myself she had a very different upbringing, one which most of us have never had to experience. She was raised in a time where she had no choice but to learn firsthand the value of not taking what she was given for granted.

Itโ€™s no wonder why today sheโ€™s such a selfless soul in so many areas of her life: she knows what itโ€™s like to have very little, and she never wanted that for her family ever again.ย โค๏ธ

Iโ€™ve learned a lot from her about being selfless. Hearing about her life’s problems have helped me come to understand the โ€œproblemsโ€ I complain about today are so minuscule in comparison. Compared to hers, I have it real easy!

One thing I can also assure you: when you open yourself to other perspectives on life, your views will expand in kind.

๐Ÿ‘Šย FEAR HAS OVERSTAYED ITS WELCOME!ย ๐Ÿ‘Š

And yet, Fear in our society has found a new home in our lives. But it’s no longer here to help us in getting our basic needs met. It’s migrated into new territory, into far more trivial matters:

๐Ÿ˜จย Fear our friend is ignoring us because they didnโ€™t text us back

๐Ÿ˜จย Fear eating food will make us sick because itโ€™s not labeled Organic

๐Ÿ˜จย Fear not having cell phone reception while traveling

๐Ÿ˜จย Fear our child wonโ€™t get into the prestigious college we want them getting into

These types of “problems” are jokingly referred to today as โ€œFirst World Problemsโ€. To put it another way: where Fear was once useful for our very survival has now migrated its way into the most trivial matters of our lives.

๐Ÿ‘Šย FEAR HAS OVERSTAYED ITS WELCOME!ย ๐Ÿ‘Š

Itโ€™s not to say Fear isnโ€™t an important emotion or that we should get rid of it altogether. Itโ€™s to simply say Fear is not required in the same way it use to be.ย ๐Ÿ‘

It doesn’t have to be inside our mental homes so much anymore.ย ๐Ÿ˜Š

We are blessed to live in a day and age where the “problems” we care about today pale in comparison to the ones our ancestors once had to deal with.ย ๐Ÿคฒ

And thatโ€™s why I punched through that board: because I decided trivial “problems” weren’t going to run my life anymore! Moments before breaking it I wrote on it โ€œFear of Rejectionโ€ and put an X right through it!

๐Ÿ‘Šย FEAR HAS OVERSTAYED ITS WELCOME!ย ๐Ÿ‘Š

Iโ€™m not saying goodbye to Fear forever. I will happily welcome Fear back the day a life-or-death situation actually arises. But for now, I let Fear know I’m staying in charge.

I am in charge of Fear! Fear is not in charge of me!ย ๐Ÿ’ช

๐Ÿ’ฅย BOOM!ย ๐Ÿ’ฅ

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