Why Fear OVERSTAYS Its Welcome! (PERSONAL)

👊 FEAR HAS OVERSTAYED ITS WELCOME! 👊

I’ve been afraid of rejection. ❌

I’ve been afraid of being misunderstood. 👤

I’ve been afraid of not belonging. 😨

Fear has spoken to me on MANY occasions, always knocking on the door of my mental home, including the very moment before I broke this board at#GYLS2019. 🏠

Fear is the primal instinct that lies within us all, the emotion which once used to be a necessity for our ancestor’s very survival. 💯

But here, now in our modern society, Fear has long overstayed its welcome. 👍

👊 FEAR HAS OVERSTAYED ITS WELCOME! 👊

Why? Because so many of us are now living in a day and age we’re no longer struggling to get our basic needs met. We’re no longer face-to-face with Death the way our ancestors were. 👥

I always remember this when I talk to my grandmother about her past and what she had to go through in her life. 👵

As a child, she didn’t know when she would get her next meal. Her family couldn’t always afford enough food for every child. She told me how hard it was on her mother not being able to afford to feel all her children an adequate meal. 😔

I compare the life she had to the ones many of us are privileged to live today, the amount of food and options we have available to us today, not a thought in our mind on whether we will get dinner or not. 🥗

It’s why every time I go to her house she offers me more food than I will ever eat. And when I tell her I’m full, she always will eventually offer me dessert! 🍪

You could say: “That’s just what grandmas do!” But I also remind myself she had a very different upbringing, one which most of us have never had to experience. She was raised in a time where she had no choice but to learn firsthand the value of not taking what she was given for granted.

It’s no wonder why today she’s such a selfless soul in so many areas of her life: she knows what it’s like to have very little, and she never wanted that for her family ever again. ❤️

I’ve learned a lot from her about being selfless. Hearing about her life’s problems have helped me come to understand the “problems” I complain about today are so minuscule in comparison. Compared to hers, I have it real easy!

One thing I can also assure you: when you open yourself to other perspectives on life, your views will expand in kind.

👊 FEAR HAS OVERSTAYED ITS WELCOME! 👊

And yet, Fear in our society has found a new home in our lives. But it’s no longer here to help us in getting our basic needs met. It’s migrated into new territory, into far more trivial matters:

😨 Fear our friend is ignoring us because they didn’t text us back

😨 Fear eating food will make us sick because it’s not labeled Organic

😨 Fear not having cell phone reception while traveling

😨 Fear our child won’t get into the prestigious college we want them getting into

These types of “problems” are jokingly referred to today as “First World Problems”. To put it another way: where Fear was once useful for our very survival has now migrated its way into the most trivial matters of our lives.

👊 FEAR HAS OVERSTAYED ITS WELCOME! 👊

It’s not to say Fear isn’t an important emotion or that we should get rid of it altogether. It’s to simply say Fear is not required in the same way it use to be. 👍

It doesn’t have to be inside our mental homes so much anymore. 😊

We are blessed to live in a day and age where the “problems” we care about today pale in comparison to the ones our ancestors once had to deal with. 🤲

And that’s why I punched through that board: because I decided trivial “problems” weren’t going to run my life anymore! Moments before breaking it I wrote on it “Fear of Rejection” and put an X right through it!

👊 FEAR HAS OVERSTAYED ITS WELCOME! 👊

I’m not saying goodbye to Fear forever. I will happily welcome Fear back the day a life-or-death situation actually arises. But for now, I let Fear know I’m staying in charge.

I am in charge of Fear! Fear is not in charge of me! 💪

💥 BOOM! 💥

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I Took the Leap!

Around this time last month I was crying more than I had in a very long time.

It was hard processing everything that was happening inside of me. My emotions, the big and the small, were taking on various forms of heaviness. I was feeling drained. I was feeling confident. At another I wanted to drown in my sadness. My mind had become a battlefield of emotions. At the time it felt like these feelings were here to stay…

But when I think about it now, I still get emotional. But I’m still grateful it happened. Why?

What happened last month? I DECIDED last month that this year was going to be THE year my 2019 self thanked me for. I decided I was going to take the LEAP, take the jump into the unknown, and start building my own business. I decided that I’m leaving my corporate job very soon to pursue my business and my passions FULL-TIME. I decided I was going to start following my DREAMS to continue serving others, to show others what’s POSSIBLE in their lives, and not catering to what others want me to be. I decided this FOR ME.

Needless to say, I received polarizing reactions from people I told. And for the ones whose acceptance I may have appreciated the most, not everyone reciprocated. I felt hurt, and it did take me on an emotional roller-coaster. For friends that know me personally that are reading this, perhaps you may also be having similar feelings or reactions to what I’m saying. You can call me CRAZY. You can call me DUMB. You can call me BOLD. Nonetheless I’ve made my decision, and I haven’t felt more in control of my life than I have in doing so. I haven’t given myself a voice for a while, and now it’s time to let it shine. Whether someone supports me or not, I am determined to NOT GIVE UP. I will be too STUBBORN to do so, and because life is too short to not keep going. I’m going to help more, give more, and offer more. You can count on that!

All these things happened in the past month, and I’m grateful that it did. I went through these rough patches to be reminded that this path isn’t going to be easy, that this journey will be a rocky one, and that long-term this pain is temporary. It’s about the long-term, not the short-term. I think about the legacy I’m looking to leave. I think about the people I have yet to know and inspire. I think about the people who I can continue showing what’s possible. I think about the life I have yet to live. These dark moments today are merely building the foundation for who I’m meant to be.

As I write this, I am listening to the song that inspired this very post. It’s from “The Sound of Music”. One morning after a previous evening of tears, I played this on my laptop. I remember hearing the song, but this morning I decided to close my eyes. I wasn’t just hearing the words through my ears anymore; I was feeling the emotions behind them. I was crying again, but this time the tears were different. They were of gratitude, of love, and especially hope. I was seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. I was seeing that ultimately it will all be worth it…all the way until I find my dream.