Why We Can’t HEAR Each Other!

๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ โ€œ๐๐‹๐€๐‚๐Š ๐‹๐ˆ๐•๐„๐’ ๐Œ๐€๐“๐“๐„๐‘!โ€ ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ

๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ โ€œ๐€๐‹๐‹ ๐‹๐ˆ๐•๐„๐’ ๐Œ๐€๐“๐“๐„๐‘!โ€ ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ

๐Ÿคฌ โ€œ๐˜๐Ž๐” ๐ƒ๐Ž๐โ€™๐“ ๐”๐๐ƒ๐„๐‘๐’๐“๐€๐๐ƒ!โ€ ๐Ÿคฌ

๐Ÿคฌ โ€œ๐๐Ž, ๐˜๐Ž๐” ๐ƒ๐Ž๐โ€™๐“ ๐”๐๐ƒ๐„๐‘๐’๐“๐€๐๐ƒ!โ€ ๐Ÿคฌ

Are you tired of the back-and-forth arguing? ๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™‚โ€

Are you tired that others cannot seem to understand your point of view? ๐Ÿ™‹

I hope with this post, by illustrating the current trends, it will help us better understand why people think the way they do. โฌ‡๏ธ

Let me add: This post is NOT for sharing my political views. The only bias I wish to promote in this post is Empathy. ๐Ÿ™Œ

(Please note what Iโ€™m about to present are HUGE generalizations in terms of political leanings, so please consider this but a limited framework. Nevertheless, I hope it can provide some clarity. ๐Ÿ˜Š)

๐Ÿ“Œ If one is left-leaning, one tends to see the crime of George Floyd as driven more by systemic racism. If one is right-leaning, one tends to see the crime of George Floyd as driven more by police brutality.

๐Ÿ“Œ If one is left-leaning, one tends to support Black Lives Matter. If one is right-leaning, one tends to support Blue/All Lives Matter.

๐Ÿ“Œ If one is left-leaning, one tends to see racism as systemic and institutionalized. If one is right-leaning, one tends to see racism as occurring but as being overly exaggerated/a moral panic.

๐Ÿ“Œ If one is left-leaning, one tends to recommend African American thinkers like Ta-Nehisi Coates and Ibram X. Kendi. If one is right-leaning, one tends to recommend African American thinkers like Thomas Sowell and Shelby Steele.

๐Ÿ“Œ If one is left-leaning, one tends to focus on the instances of police mistreatment being done towards protesters. If one is right-leaning, one tends to focus on the instances of people rioting and looting local businesses.

๐Ÿ“Œ If one is left-leaning, one tends to sympathize and offer care to the less fortunate and those they see as oppressed. If one is right-leaning, one tends to advocate for personal responsibility, self-reliance, and rejecting victimhood mentality.

๐Ÿ“Œ If one is left-leaning, some favorite scapegoats may include: โ€œthe 1%โ€, โ€œpatriarchyโ€, โ€œprivilegeโ€, โ€œpower structuresโ€, and โ€œwhite supremacyโ€. If one is right-leaning, some favorite scapegoats may include: โ€œthe elite globalistsโ€, โ€œgovernment regulationโ€, โ€œimmigrationโ€, โ€œsocial justice warriorsโ€, and “cultural Marxism”.

Again, this is a VERY general framework. But depending on where you are on the political spectrum is going to be a BIG factor in how you perceive the current circumstances. ๐Ÿ‘€

๐“๐ก๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ข๐ฌ: ๐ฐ๐ž ๐๐จ๐งโ€™๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ž๐ž ๐ฌ๐ข๐ญ๐ฎ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐š๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฒ ๐š๐ซ๐ž. ๐–๐ž ๐ฌ๐ž๐ž ๐ฌ๐ข๐ญ๐ฎ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐š๐ฌ ๐š ๐ซ๐ž๐Ÿ๐ฅ๐ž๐œ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ฐ๐ก๐จ ๐ฐ๐ž ๐š๐ซ๐ž, ๐š ๐ซ๐ž๐Ÿ๐ฅ๐ž๐œ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐œ๐š๐ฅ ๐ฏ๐ข๐ž๐ฐ๐ฌ, ๐›๐ž๐ฅ๐ข๐ž๐Ÿ๐ฌ, ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ฏ๐š๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ž๐ฌ. ๐Ÿ‘ค

Itโ€™s the reason why some people are emphasizing โ€œBlack Lives Matterโ€ while some people are emphasizing โ€œAll Lives Matterโ€. ๐Ÿ’ก

Let’s give an exampleโ€ฆ

2 people go to the theater to watch a movie. They both sit side-by-side and watch the movie in full. ๐ŸŽฌ

When the movie is over, both people walk out of the theater ready to share their opinionsโ€ฆ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ

Person 1: “That movie was AWESOME!” ๐Ÿคฉ

Person 2 is shocked: “What?! That movie was DUMB!” โŒ

Person 1 is annoyed: “What, HOW could you say that?!” ๐Ÿคฌ

Person 2 is flabbergasted: “How could YOU praise such a trashy movie!?” ๐Ÿคฌ

Remember: BOTH people saw the exact same movie! Side-by-side! ๐Ÿ˜•

So how did they come up with 2 polar opposite opinions of the same film? ๐Ÿค”

๐๐ž๐œ๐š๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฒ ๐ž๐š๐œ๐ก ๐›๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฆ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฅ๐ฏ๐ž๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฏ๐ข๐ž.

We all carry past experiences, beliefs, and values, and they in turn influence how we see the things around us, including movies. ๐Ÿ‘€

Think of it like this: each person is wearing a different pair of glasses, and these glasses are magnifying or shrinking certain parts of what a person focuses on. ๐Ÿ‘“

Person 1 said the movie was “AWESOME” because they loved the action sequences they focused on. ๐Ÿคฉ

Person 2 said the movie was โ€œDUMB” because they focused on how the film was all action and little story. โŒ

The exact same movie. Two different interpretations. ๐Ÿ™Œ

THIS is why:

๐Ÿ˜ฑ Some of my friends cannot fathom how another person can emphasize “Black Lives Matter” over “All Lives Matter”.

๐Ÿ˜ฑ Some of my friends cannot fathom how another person can emphasize “All Lives Matter” over “Black Lives Matter”.

Is it just because theyโ€™re a โ€œsocial justice warriorโ€? ๐Ÿคฌ

Is it just because of their โ€œwhite privilegeโ€? ๐Ÿคฌ

Instead of making assumptions, I encourage us all to instead ask: โ€œWhy?โ€ ๐Ÿค”

I encourage us all to start asking more questions and making less assumptions, ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฌ๐ž๐ž๐ค ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฎ๐ง๐๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ซ๐š๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ง ๐ญ๐จ ๐จ๐ง๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐›๐ž ๐ฎ๐ง๐๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ๐จ๐จ๐.

Thatโ€™s how we use the Power of Empathy. ๐Ÿ™Œ

In his book โ€œThe Righteous Mindโ€, social psychologist Jonathan Haidt emphasizes 1 key point heโ€™s learned in all his decades of research into Morality โฌ‡๏ธ:

๐Ÿ’ฌ โ€œ๐Œ๐จ๐ซ๐š๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐›๐ข๐ง๐๐ฌ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐›๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐๐ฌ. ๐ˆ๐ญ ๐›๐ข๐ง๐๐ฌ ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐จ ๐ข๐๐ž๐จ๐ฅ๐จ๐ ๐ข๐œ๐š๐ฅ ๐ญ๐ž๐š๐ฆ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐ž๐š๐œ๐ก ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ ๐š๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐Ÿ๐š๐ญ๐ž ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ฅ๐ ๐๐ž๐ฉ๐ž๐ง๐๐ž๐ ๐จ๐ง ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฌ๐ข๐๐ž ๐ฐ๐ข๐ง๐ง๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ž๐š๐œ๐ก ๐›๐š๐ญ๐ญ๐ฅ๐ž. ๐ˆ๐ญ ๐›๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐๐ฌ ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐Ÿ๐š๐œ๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ž๐š๐œ๐ก ๐ญ๐ž๐š๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ž๐ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ ๐จ๐จ๐ ๐ฉ๐ž๐จ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ž ๐ฐ๐ก๐จ ๐ก๐š๐ฏ๐ž ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ข๐ฆ๐ฉ๐จ๐ซ๐ญ๐š๐ง๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฌ๐š๐ฒ.โ€ ๐Ÿ’ฌ

In helping us better understand each other, Haidt shares his Moral Foundations Theory.

The idea is that we each carry 6 moral taste buds:

1. ๐˜พ๐™–๐™ง๐™š/๐™ƒ๐™–๐™ง๐™ข โ€“ ๐™’๐™š ๐™ซ๐™–๐™ก๐™ช๐™š ๐™˜๐™–๐™ง๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™›๐™ค๐™ง ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ค๐™จ๐™š ๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™ฃ๐™š๐™š๐™™ ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™ง๐™š๐™™๐™ช๐™˜๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™๐™–๐™ง๐™ข ๐™–๐™จ ๐™ข๐™ช๐™˜๐™ ๐™–๐™จ ๐™ฌ๐™š ๐™˜๐™–๐™ฃ.โค๏ธ

2. ๐™๐™–๐™ž๐™ง๐™ฃ๐™š๐™จ๐™จ/๐˜พ๐™๐™š๐™–๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ โ€“ ๐™’๐™š ๐™ซ๐™–๐™ก๐™ช๐™š ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ค๐™จ๐™š ๐™ฌ๐™๐™ค ๐™ฅ๐™ก๐™–๐™ฎ ๐™—๐™ฎ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ง๐™ช๐™ก๐™š๐™จ ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™™๐™ž๐™จ๐™ก๐™ž๐™ ๐™š ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ค๐™จ๐™š ๐™ฌ๐™๐™ค ๐™˜๐™๐™š๐™–๐™ฉ. ๐Ÿ’ฐ

3. ๐™‡๐™ค๐™ฎ๐™–๐™ก๐™ฉ๐™ฎ/๐˜ฝ๐™š๐™ฉ๐™ง๐™–๐™ฎ๐™–๐™ก โ€“ ๐™’๐™š ๐™ซ๐™–๐™ก๐™ช๐™š ๐™›๐™š๐™š๐™ก๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™ก๐™ž๐™ ๐™š ๐™ฌ๐™š ๐™—๐™š๐™ก๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™– ๐™œ๐™ง๐™ค๐™ช๐™ฅ ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™™๐™ž๐™จ๐™ก๐™ž๐™ ๐™š ๐™ค๐™ฉ๐™๐™š๐™ง๐™จ ๐™ฌ๐™๐™ค ๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™š๐™ฅ ๐™ค๐™ช๐™ฉ๐™จ๐™ž๐™™๐™š ๐™ž๐™ฉ. ๐Ÿ‘ฅ

4. ๐˜ผ๐™ช๐™ฉ๐™๐™ค๐™ง๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ฎ/๐™Ž๐™ช๐™—๐™ซ๐™š๐™ง๐™จ๐™ž๐™ค๐™ฃ โ€“ ๐™’๐™š ๐™ซ๐™–๐™ก๐™ช๐™š ๐™จ๐™ค๐™˜๐™ž๐™–๐™ก ๐™ค๐™ง๐™™๐™š๐™ง, ๐™จ๐™ค ๐™ฌ๐™š ๐™–๐™ฅ๐™ฅ๐™ง๐™š๐™˜๐™ž๐™–๐™ฉ๐™š ๐™–๐™ช๐™ฉ๐™๐™ค๐™ง๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ฎ ๐™›๐™ค๐™ง ๐™ ๐™š๐™š๐™ฅ๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™จ๐™ค๐™˜๐™ž๐™š๐™ฉ๐™ฎ ๐™ค๐™ง๐™œ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™ž๐™ฏ๐™š๐™™ ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™–๐™—๐™ก๐™š. ๐Ÿš“

5. ๐™Ž๐™–๐™ฃ๐™˜๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ฎ/๐˜ฟ๐™š๐™œ๐™ง๐™–๐™™๐™–๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ค๐™ฃ โ€“ ๐™’๐™š ๐™ซ๐™–๐™ก๐™ช๐™š ๐™จ๐™–๐™˜๐™ง๐™š๐™™๐™ฃ๐™š๐™จ๐™จ, ๐™ฌ๐™๐™š๐™ฉ๐™๐™š๐™ง ๐™ž๐™ฉโ€™๐™จ ๐™›๐™ค๐™ช๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™– ๐™˜๐™๐™ช๐™ง๐™˜๐™, ๐™– ๐™ง๐™š๐™ก๐™ž๐™œ๐™ž๐™ค๐™ช๐™จ ๐™จ๐™ฎ๐™ข๐™—๐™ค๐™ก, ๐™ค๐™ง ๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™– ๐™ฅ๐™ก๐™–๐™˜๐™š ๐™ฌ๐™š ๐™๐™ค๐™ก๐™™ ๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™๐™ž๐™œ๐™ ๐™ง๐™š๐™œ๐™–๐™ง๐™™. ๐Ÿ™Œ

6. ๐™‡๐™ž๐™—๐™š๐™ง๐™ฉ๐™ฎ/๐™Š๐™ฅ๐™ฅ๐™ง๐™š๐™จ๐™จ๐™ž๐™ค๐™ฃ โ€“ ๐™’๐™š ๐™ซ๐™–๐™ก๐™ช๐™š ๐™– ๐™จ๐™š๐™ฃ๐™จ๐™š ๐™ค๐™› ๐™–๐™ช๐™ฉ๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™ค๐™ข๐™ฎ ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™ฅ๐™š๐™ง๐™จ๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™–๐™ก ๐™›๐™ง๐™š๐™š๐™™๐™ค๐™ข. โœŠ

Haidt says we each carry these 6 moral taste buds, ๐›๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ž ๐๐จ๐งโ€™๐ญ ๐ฏ๐š๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฆ ๐ž๐ช๐ฎ๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ.

Heโ€™s not here to argue which combinations of taste buds are better or worse, only to say that they exist, and that they also heavily influence our political leanings. โ˜ฏ๏ธ

For example, those who tend to be left-leaning often have Care/Harm and Fairness/Cheating as their highest moral taste buds. These 2 moral taste buds tend to be disproportionately higher than all the others. ๐Ÿ”

But when it comes to those who are right-leaning, the moral taste buds tend to be more evenly distributed. โš–๏ธ

So, the next time youโ€™re in a disagreement with someone, I challenge you to keep an ear out for these moral taste buds in the words of others. ๐Ÿ‘‚

Use these moral taste buds not just to better understand how others think but also to better understand your own moral worldview. ๐Ÿค”

Take COVID-19 as another example of the moral taste buds at play. ๐Ÿ’ก

Remember how some people were more focused on the economy while other people were more focused on the loss of individual lives? ๐Ÿ‘

It’s not that economists didn’t care about human life. It’s also not that healthcare professionals didn’t care about the effects on the economy. The difference was in which moral taste buds they placed as being more important. ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

In other words…

๐“๐ก๐ž ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ฌ๐จ๐ง ๐ฐ๐žโ€™๐ซ๐ž ๐ญ๐š๐ฅ๐ค๐ข๐ง๐  ๐จ๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ ๐ž๐š๐œ๐ก ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐›๐ž๐œ๐š๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž ๐ž๐š๐œ๐ก ๐ฌ๐ข๐๐ž ๐ข๐ฌ ๐š๐ซ๐ ๐ฎ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐จ๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ ๐ฐ๐ก๐ข๐œ๐ก ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐š๐ฅ ๐ญ๐š๐ฌ๐ญ๐ž ๐›๐ฎ๐๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐ญ๐š๐ค๐ž ๐ฉ๐ซ๐ž๐œ๐ž๐๐ž๐ง๐œ๐ž ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ข๐ญ๐ฎ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง. ๐–๐ž’๐ซ๐ž ๐š๐ซ๐ ๐ฎ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐จ๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฆ๐š๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐œ๐ฌ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ซ๐จ๐จ๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ž๐ฌ.

Having friends on both sides of the political spectrum, I can tell you: BOTH SIDES agree the crime of George Floyd was awful and condemn it. โŒ

The difference is in how each side interprets the severity of the situation and how we should be responding to it. ๐Ÿ—บ๏ธ

That’s why we need to come together and understand each other’s points of view on this. Otherwise, we’re going to keep making the same mistake of assuming everyone thinks exactly the same way we do. ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

They don’t. ๐Ÿ™Œ

๐ˆ’๐ฆ ๐ญ๐š๐ฅ๐ค๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐Ž๐“๐‡ ๐ฌ๐ข๐๐ž๐ฌ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐œ๐š๐ฅ ๐ฌ๐ฉ๐ž๐œ๐ญ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ก๐ž๐ซ๐ž. ๐Ÿ’ฏ

Focusing on problems doesnโ€™t solve problems; focusing on solutions creates solutions. And I hope with this post I can be a part of that solution. ๐Ÿ™Œ

๐Ÿšจ Imposing our self-righteousness onto others, whether it’s using guilt, shame, or emotional intimidation, is NOT a helpful long-term solution.

๐Ÿšจ Refusing to set aside our ideological echo chambers for the sake of comfort sets a DANGEROUS precedent for how we as a country collectively handle our problems in the future.

In times where polarization is high, cynicism is high, distrust is high, and tribalism is high, itโ€™s crucial that all of us continue emphasizing the importance of civility with each other. ๐Ÿ’ฌ

Because it is SO EASY for us not to do so now is the very reason I emphasize it. I know I’m going against the Outrage Train by even saying this. ๐Ÿ’ฏ

Why? Because ๐ˆ’๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐จ๐จ๐ค๐ข๐ง๐  ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž ๐ญ๐จ๐ ๐ž๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐๐ข๐ž ๐ญ๐จ๐ ๐ž๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ. ๐Ÿ˜Š

Because that’s the beauty of the United States being a pluralistic society:

๐Ÿ“Œ A society where we can have one party who thinks the movie was โ€œAWESOME!โ€ and another party who thinks the movie was โ€œDUMB!โ€

๐Ÿ“Œ A society where two opposing parties can have a civil discussion over the movie, find places where they agree, and seek compromise on the places they disagree.

Perhaps my thinking is overly optimistic and idealistic. But for me, hope has always been a good thing. โค๏ธ

Consider this post a friendly reminder to continue focusing on empathy and solutions, even when it’s not easy. ๐Ÿ‘

Because I know ๐ข๐ญ’๐ฌ ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ก๐š๐ซ๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐จ ๐ฌ๐จ ๐ฐ๐ก๐ž๐ง ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ž๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐š๐ฅ ๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐๐ฌ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ฌ๐ก๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐๐ž๐ ๐ข๐ง ๐ฐ๐ž๐ž๐๐ฌ. ๐Ÿ˜จ

So…letโ€™s get to work! ๐Ÿ’จ



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How Words Have POWER!

โš ๏ธย YOUR WORDS HAVE POWER!!!ย โš ๏ธ
I recently watched a Danish movie called “The Hunt” starring Mads Mikkelsen (“Casino Royale”).ย ๐ŸŽฌย And it was ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATING!ย ๐Ÿ˜”
No, the film wasn’t bad at all! It was actually a great film! It just was not an easy film to watch.ย ๐Ÿ˜ซย It’s a film that asks some really tough questions about the power of mob mentality and mass hysteria.ย ๐Ÿ‘ฅ
It shows how groups of people will jump to rash assumptions and conclusions about someone rather than gathering all the facts.ย ๐Ÿค”
With our society’s current Outrage Culture where feelings and justice can matter more than facts and accuracy, this film points out a problem still needing to be addressed.ย ๐Ÿ‘
The movie tells the story about a quiet man living in a small rural community in Denmark.ย ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐย He’s recently become a preschool teacher, has a small set of drinking buddies, and has found a new girlfriend. After recently separating from his wife, his life is starting to look uphill.ย ๐Ÿ˜Š
But then a lewd lie is made up about him. At first, it seems absurd to the man that people actually believe the lie rather than him, a person who the community has known for a very long time. But the lie takes on a life of its own.ย ๐Ÿ˜ฒ
Soon the whole community has jumped to the worst conclusions about him. He is fired from his job. His new girlfriend leaves him. His best friend shuns him. He is physically assaulted trying to shop in the local store.ย ๐Ÿ‘Šย Suddenly, even more lies are spread. He is eventually charged by the police, but all the charges are soon dropped because of no evidence. Nevertheless, the acts by the community escalate into greater threats and physical violence against him.ย ๐Ÿ’ฅ
Remember: we are aware as an audience member this man is 100% innocent and all the rumors and continuing allegations made against him are 100% false.ย ๐Ÿ‘ย Yet, everything that happens to him in the film started with a single lie. Even the person who told the original lie eventually admits she was lying. But even then, she is not believed!ย ๐Ÿ˜ฒ
The community would rather hold onto the lies of this false narrative than face the fact they were condemning and harming an innocent man.ย ๐Ÿ‘ค
It’s a devastating film, not just seeing this man’s life crumble, but also in thinking how eerily similar issues like these echo in our own society. How often have we heard someone make an accusation online or in the news and we automatically assumed it was 100% true?ย ๐Ÿค”ย How often have we not taken the time to remember there’s 2 sides to every story and didn’t gather all the facts before coming to a conclusion? I have, so I’m not pointing fingers here. I’ve done it too!ย ๐Ÿ‘
And don’t get me wrong, some accusations do in fact turn out to be true. We find out the details, we gather all the evidence, and we confirm its validity or not.ย ๐Ÿ‘ย But there’s also others, like with this man, where accusations turn out to be grossly false. Despite them being false, the damage has already been done: an innocent person’s reputation is left for dead, and no repercussions are to be had for the original accuser.ย ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ
In the Court of Law it is “innocent until proven guilty”. But in the Court of Public Opinion it has become “guilty until proven innocent”. The problem is we don’t want to follow the same path the characters in the play “The Crucible” did and start accusing our neighbors we dislike of being witches.ย ๐Ÿ‘‰
It is these false cries where a person’s life can be ruined based on accusations and narratives which aren’t true. It is these false accusations which do a great disservice to the accusations which are in fact true.ย ๐ŸŽฏ
It’s why I continue to emphasize it’s SO IMPORTANT whenever we hear or read anything that we separate the Facts from the Story Created Around the Facts. Take a news story: you don’t read 100% facts. You read a story which is set around a set of facts the journalist provides you. You can read more in my post here:ย https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10156091492785964&id=509935963
But I’m not here to dwell on the problem. I want to provide solutions as well. There is hope!ย ๐Ÿ˜
๐Ÿ“Œย Drop your cynicism for skepticism. Cynicism jumps to predetermined conclusions about people regarding self interest and malicious intent. Skepticism starts from nothing. Cynicism wants the truth to be black and white, clear as day. Skepticism wants the truth to be whatever the truth is, no matter its complexity.
๐Ÿ“Œย Question your emotions. Our emotions filter our decision-making. When we’re angry, we’re more likely to lash out and throw out accusations by the handful. One question to ask yourself: Does this emotion serve me in the present moment? Be sure you are using your emotions and not letting your emotions use you. Develop your emotional intelligence.
๐Ÿ“Œย Consider our common humanity. People make mistakes. People say things they regret. People lie. People mature and aren’t the same people they were decades ago. And if you can’t relate to any of those things, I’d ask if you were a human being. I don’t say this to justify what someone does. It’s to acknowledge our shared humanity with other people. It helps gives you a clearer focus on the situation, supplemented with the Superpower of Empathy.
๐Ÿ“Œย Be wary of group mentality. There’s a psychological phenomenon that occurs when people are in groups, where they collectively become a microcosm of shared beliefs and actions. Individuality gets lost and people conform to whatever the group does. It’s the reason a group of harmless people can start a riot, even if others never went in with the intention to.
While it’s easier to summarize a person’s entire existence based on narratives and a few labels, you simultaneously box that person into a Filter of Perception of which everyone else is now going to be seeing that person.
The big question though: Is it really true?ย ๐Ÿ‘ค
There’s a reason Don Miguel Ruiz had one of his Four Agreements be: Be Impeccable With Your Word. Words have the power to create as well as destroy. The problem is they’re more often today used to destroy than for any form of creation.ย ๐Ÿ‘
That man in the film, no matter how many times he could say he was innocent, could no longer be seen the same way again by his community because of the labels laid upon him, despite there being no evidence at all for the labels.ย ๐Ÿ˜”
But here’s the catch: No one is played in the film for a caricature. Everyone has reasons for why they do what they do. Like the characters who spread the lie, they genuinely believe others need to be aware because their fears says the lie is true. Their collective need to believe something did in fact happen overrode their ability to critically think.ย ๐Ÿ‘ฅ
That’s why developing our self-awareness is so important, so we don’t give into our irrational emotions and simply go along with the crowds. Because at times the crowd will be dead wrong. As the philosopher Kierkegaard said: “The crowd is untruth.”ย ๐Ÿ‘
Of course, there are people in the world who have in fact done bad things. There are people who are guilty beyond a shadow of a doubt and should be rightfully held accountable for their actions. I’m not denying that. Justice should be rightfully served.ย ๐Ÿ’ฏ
But this post today was about addressing the elephant in the room.ย ๐Ÿ˜
๐Ÿ“ย This post is not about the thirst for social justice but about the injustice that happens to the innocent because of this thirst.
๐Ÿ“ย This post is not about accusations but about the negative consequences for a society where falsehoods can easily be thrown around without repercussion or personal responsibility taken on any side.
It produces a culture of victimhood, one which a civil society crumbles under because of the very thing it continues reinforcing: blame.ย ๐Ÿคฌ
But again, I also have hope. I believe with any form of destruction there must also come creation. I wholeheartedly reject nihilism. I continue looking for the best in humanity because more often than not I will tend to find it. Because I believe what will save us from ourselves…is our best selves.ย โค๏ธ



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Why It’s IMPORTANT To Empathize!

Do you believe you’re always right? Do you make room to hear other’s perspectives? Are you open to people who disagree with you? ๐Ÿค”

๐ŸŒŸ No one sees the world 100% exactly the same. ๐ŸŒŸ

Think about 2 people who attend a music concert. They both experience the exact same concert, hear the exact same music, but yet they both came away with separate opinions. โ†”๏ธ

PERSON 1: “That concert was AMAZING!” ๐Ÿ˜„

PERSON 2: “That concert was CRAP!” ๐Ÿคฌ

How does that happen? Who was right?! ๐Ÿค”

A lot of opinions we hold are just that…opinions. We feel certain ways towards certain things. It’s not to say either person is right or wrong, but it’s a friendly reminder we each have different reasons for why we carry our opinions. ๐Ÿ™Œ

PERSON 1: “They’re my favorite band, and they performed just as AMAZING as I hoped!” ๐Ÿ˜„

PERSON 2: “I had a feeling this band was CRAP! My friend even told me not to come!” ๐Ÿคฌ

Do you see now some of the reasons why they had different opinions? ๐Ÿ‘

That’s why it’s important we develop the skills of empathy:

๐Ÿ“Œ So we can step into other people’s shoes.

๐Ÿ“Œ So we can be open to the possibility of a new perspective to embrace.

๐Ÿ“Œ So it can challenge how we perceive a certain situation.

๐Ÿ“Œ So we remind ourselves we all have reasons for why people do what they do.



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