Why It Is HARD To Change!

😡 “WHY CAN’T I CHANGE?!” 😡

Have you ever wanted to make a big change in your life? Say for example you wanted to lose a significant amount of weight. 👊

But simultaneously there was a part of you that didn’t want to change, didn’t want to take the actions required to make the change. Can you relate? 🙋‍♂️

“BUT WHY?!”

I can give you one big reason! 🙌

But before I do, the first thing we need to remember is we are creatures of habit. From the words we say to the mannerisms we use to the kinds of foods we eat, habits shape our lives for better or for worse. ↕️

We are also creatures of emotion. We are driven to do things because of how they make us feel, make us feel pain or feel pleasure. ↔️

But it’s important we remember that we associate different meanings to different things. 🤨

One person going to the gym sees it as a “chore”. Another sees it as a “necessity”. One person eating fast food sees it as a “indulgence”. Another sees it as “unhealthy”. It’s all about perspective! 👀

So why is it so hard to change our habits? I’ll give you one big reason! ⚠️

🌟 We associate more pleasure to keeping our old habits than to building a new one. 🌟

It’s why I didn’t lose weight for such a long time! I desired to be thin, and I desired to be fit. But in my mind, the pleasure of eating fast food and soda every day outweighed any desire to go to the gym! 😔

Most importantly: building a new habit takes TIME! I cannot emphasize that enough, because it’s one of the biggest reasons people “fall back” to old habits. ↩️

I’ve had to catch myself at times too! 😅

So I don’t blame you if you say it’s not easy to change. It isn’t! Think of it like this…🤔

If you’re going to build a new habit, it will be among old habits you’ve possessed for years, perhaps even decades, that you will be competing against! 😅

Don’t be too hard on yourself! You got this! ❤️

Why Learning Isn’t EVERYTHING!

🌟 IT’S NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU INGEST, BUT WHAT YOU DIGEST! 🌟

“I’ve read 100 books on the subject!” 🗣️

“I have 5 Certifications!” 🗣️

“I have 3 Masters Degrees!” 🗣️

Having expertise in a subject is without a doubt important. Like we wouldn’t want toddlers performing open heart surgery or dogs flying helicopters, right?! 🤣

But what I’m getting at is just because someone learns a lot doesn’t automatically mean they know more. 😲

📌 You can read hundreds of books on a subject, yet never use what you read.

📌 You can earn a certification, yet not remember the very information which got you certified in the first place.

📌 You can go to college and receive a degree, yet never use the skills you developed.

Let me ask you a question: for all the school tests you ever took, how much information from the tests do you remember? 🤔

80%? 50%? Nothing?! You’re not alone! 😅

🌟 IT’S NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU INGEST, BUT WHAT YOU DIGEST! 🌟

It’s not about how much you know; it’s about how much you use. It’s not about the amount of information you receive; it’s about what you use with the information you receive. 🙌

It’s the reason why I’ll read the same book twice, why I’ll listen to an online course multiple times, why I’ll re-read notes from seminars I’ve attended. 📚

Because I can assure you: unless you have a photographic memory, you don’t retain every piece of information you learn just from hearing it once. 👍

You don’t lift a few weights at the gym and suddenly are fit for life. You need to keep going back to the gym to maintain the muscles you’ve already built. 🏋️

And the same goes for your mental muscles. You need to keep learning and building on what you’ve already learned. Otherwise, like a muscle, it deteriorates. 🧠

Repetition and application are keys! 🔑

🌟 IT’S NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU INGEST, BUT WHAT YOU DIGEST! 🌟

After all, why do you think I keep repeating this same sentence over and over again? 😉

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Why Our Darkness MATTERS!

Many of us have been there, where we’ve experienced such dark moments we would never wish them upon anyone. 🖤

You felt depressed. Worthless. Helpless. The feelings felt like leeches feeding on you physically and mentally. 👤

I’ve been down in the darkness myself. Contrary to popular belief, I’ve not always been this hopeful and positive of a person. 😲

But it’s because I’ve been down in the darkness that I’m up here now. ⬆️

I urge you: don’t let the dark moments negatively define your life. I want to provide you this post, to provide you hope. ☀️

I won’t tell you to forget about your past. Far from it! Running from your past suppresses what already has shaped a part of you. ↩️

What I will say is to use your past in a more empowering form. You’ve suffered and lived those dark moments…but you’re also still here. You survived. You’ve learned. You’ve grown. And you’ve become massively stronger as a person because you’ve been there. 💪

I know some people will tell you to forget about your past and just focus on all the positives in your life. 👀

But what those people miss is the understanding that out of darkness can also come much light. After all, you cannot have darkness without light. 💞

You would not be the person you are today without your past. It’s not to say the past wasn’t painful, but to say the pain wasn’t for nothing, that out of the pain came a newfound understanding, a knowledge many won’t ever fully comprehend. 🙌

And with that, there are many others in the world who are still struggling in this darkness who need to hear our stories. 👥

I love making posts to lift people up. But I also won’t be afraid to enter the darkness to find more light. Because again, you cannot have darkness without light.💡

You are not alone. You matter. And you are loved. ❤️

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How to STOP Beating Yourself Up!

🛑 STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP! 🛑

There’s a voice inside of you that no matter how hard you work, no matter how hard you try, it’s ready to tell you what’s missing from your life. 🗣️

There’s a voice inside you that no matter how much you believe you’re doing well, it comes knocking at your mental home to challenge you, to instill some form of doubt:

“Are you SURE you’re doing enough?” 💭

“Do you REALLY believe everything you say you are is true?” 💭

“Do you TRULY deserve what you have been given?” 💭

I’ve felt this in me before, multiple times in fact! You are not alone! 👥

There’s the psychological term “imposter syndrome”. It’s the tendency for us believe our achievements pale in comparison to what we feel we’ve actually done.

To put it another way, we don’t feel the status, success, or fame we’ve received in our lives is equal to our own feelings of self-worth. In our minds it doesn’t feel “deserved”. And we have this irrational fear we’re ultimately going to be exposed for the “fraud” the voice inside us says we are. ☝️

Would it surprise you to hear even the most famous individuals have experienced these feelings before? Individuals like Tina Fey, Maya Angelou, Tom Hanks, Anthony Hopkins, and even Meryl Streep have openly expressed feelings like this. 😱

You wouldn’t expect to hear that coming from a celebrity, right? Despite all their wealth, awards, and recognition they’ve received, there’s a voice inside them too that doubts whether they deserve what they’ve been given. 👍

This feeling is universal. You are not alone! 👥

What’s easy to forget in certain moments of our lives is all the achievements and impact we’ve made on the world. When this little voice starts to appear in your head, it’s a sign it’s time for an expansion in perspective. 🤯

I’m not saying we’re all going to be celebrities or are following the same path as these individuals. What I’m saying is these feelings of self-doubt are all too common, these feelings of inadequacy and not being enough just where we are. But there are solutions. 😁

A character from the film “Before Sunset” may have summed up the human condition quite well: “I feel like I’m designed to be slightly dissatisfied with everything.” Can you relate? 😅

This past 2 years has truly been a journey: ups, downs, lefts, rights, zig-zags, and any way the Wonkavator is going. Even now, being almost 2 years since I made big changes in my life, I still have heard this voice come up from time to time. It creeps up when you least expect it, too. As I write this, I can already hear the echoes of this voice in my head. 🗣️

But I have a solution for this voice as well as the ones in your own head. 💡

📍 Disconnect yourself from these voices. These voices are not You or Me. These are voices rooted in Fear: voices from toxic people in your past, voices from destructive opinions said about you, voices which are no longer serving you today or tomorrow. It’s time to let them go.

📍 Unconditionally accept yourself wherever you are right now. The past, literally, no longer exists! It’s only being carried in your head now. The problem is we often carry the negative parts of our past into our future. So let’s instead take what’s most useful from our pasts into the future.

📍 Reflect on all your achievements, all the moments in your life you can be grateful for. These voices of self-doubt are temporary, especially when you reflect on all the achievements and long-term impact you’ve made on the world. Remind yourself that everything you’ve done in your life has had an effect. It’s the same reason why an act of kindness can have a ripple effect.

📍 Remember WHY you’re doing what you’re doing. You are where you are today for a reason. Something might have pulled you here, something might have pushed you here, but either way you’re here for one reason or another. And when you have strong enough emotional reasons in your mind to be where you are today, your self-doubts will easily start to disintegrate. If you can’t think of strong reasons, create some new ones!

Writing this post was in its very own way cathartic for myself. As much as there have been times I’ve heard this voice of self-doubt, I remember all the amazing things I’ve done in my past that have shaped me into the person penning this very post. 🙌

This is a moment in time I won’t ever get back. None of us will, not even you reading this very post. What we do with this time is what matters. ☺️

Don’t beat yourself up. It’s not worth it to your future self. You’re not alone; I’ve felt it before too. But the key is reminding ourselves that these voices of doubt are not here to stay; they are coming to pass. 😊

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