Why You NEED Confidence!

Think of the person who is so confident they know how to do something…but then fails miserably when they actually do it! ๐Ÿ˜…
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But think of the person who is so skilled on how to actually do something…yet consistently doubts their ability to even do it. ๐Ÿ˜จ
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So what happens? The Confident person takes the Competent person’s place in the Hierarchy of Authority! ๐Ÿ˜ฒ
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๐ŸŒŸ ๐—•๐˜‚๐˜ ๐—ถ๐˜’๐˜€ ๐—ถ๐—บ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜ ๐˜„๐—ฒ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—–๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ณ๐—ถ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—–๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ก๐—ข๐—ง ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐—ฎ๐—บ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด.๐ŸŒŸ
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Confidence is the belief in yourself to do something. Competence is your actual ability to do something. โ†”๏ธ
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You can believe you know how to drive a car, yet simultaneously be a horrible driver! ๐Ÿš—
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You can believe you know how to be a leader, yet simultaneously isolate the people around you! ๐Ÿ˜ฒ
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You can believe you know more than experts in their fields, yet simultaneously spread misinformation because of your ignorance. ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™‚๏ธ
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It’s important we remember this distinction, because it’s easy for all of us to be attracted to Confident leaders. ๐Ÿงฒ
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But that doesn’t automatically make them Competent as well. ๐Ÿ’ฏ
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How often does this happen? How often do we follow leaders based on their Confidence and how they make us feel, rather than based upon their Competence or their personal character? ๐Ÿค”
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Philosopher Bertrand Russell once wrote in an essay in 1933 in response to the Rise of Nazi Germany: โ€œ๐™๐™๐™š ๐™ฉ๐™ง๐™ค๐™ช๐™—๐™ก๐™š ๐™ฌ๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ข๐™ค๐™™๐™š๐™ง๐™ฃ ๐™ฌ๐™ค๐™ง๐™ก๐™™ ๐™ž๐™จ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™–๐™ฉ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™ช๐™ฅ๐™ž๐™™ ๐™–๐™ง๐™š ๐™˜๐™ค๐™˜๐™ ๐™จ๐™ช๐™ง๐™š ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™ฉ๐™š๐™ก๐™ก๐™ž๐™œ๐™š๐™ฃ๐™ฉ ๐™–๐™ง๐™š ๐™›๐™ช๐™ก๐™ก ๐™ค๐™› ๐™™๐™ค๐™ช๐™—๐™ฉ.โ€ โœ๏ธ
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This quote has always reminded me to stay humble, to remember I’m not flawless, and that I can always keep learning more. ๐Ÿ’ฏ
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I can in fact be wrong about many things, and with a continual understanding of the world around me I should remain open to new perspectives. ๐Ÿ™Œ
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Because I might learn something new. ๐Ÿ’ก
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This quote is not only a reminder but also a cautionary one, if we are going to remember what happened in the following decade with Hitler and World War 2. ๐Ÿฉธ
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So, this is my message to the Competent individuals out there…โฌ‡๏ธ
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There are people far less qualified getting the jobs you want because of their Confidence! ๐Ÿ‘
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There are people far less skillful in leadership positions you’d be amazing at because of their Confidence! ๐Ÿ‘
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There are people far less intelligent influencing people more than you because of their Confidence! ๐Ÿ‘
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It’s not because they’re more talented. It’s not because they’re more hard-working. It’s also not because they’re more intelligent; this realization was a HUGE one for me! ๐Ÿคฏ
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It’s because they’re Confident. And people follow Confident people, even when it does head towards destruction. ๐Ÿ’ฅ
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I’m NOT saying every Confident person is unintelligent or isn’t hard working. I know plenty who are, and I wholeheartedly applaud them! ๐Ÿ’ฏ
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But what I am saying is these other individuals exist, and I want to let my more Competent friends know that there’s plenty of more room available on the Hierarchy. ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ
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Take the time to develop your Confidence skills because your gifts are needed. ๐Ÿ‹๏ธ
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Because if you decide to step up, we will not only have a society of Confident leaders but ones who are BOTH Confident AND Competent! ๐Ÿ˜„
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That’s a real powerful combination! ๐Ÿ‘
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You got this! โค๏ธ

Why We Should UNDERSTAND! โค๏ธ

โ†”๏ธ I’M A SPIRITUAL PERSON…AND A SCIENTIFIC PERSON! โ†”๏ธ

It doesnโ€™t have to be one OR the other; it can be one AND the other.

I donโ€™t expect my spiritual friends to understand the complexities of science and the search for objective truth. But nor do I expect my scientific friends to understand the usefulness of stories and metaphorical truths to help someone live a better quality of life. ๐Ÿ™Œ

The problems I see happening is when each side assumes malicious intent of the โ€œotherโ€ side. Each side assumes they are searching for the same definition of truth.

But from being on both sides of the coin, I can tell you they aren’t. They each have very different definitions and methodologies for their idea of โ€œtruthโ€. ๐Ÿ’ฏ

Science is focused on precision; spirituality is very general. Science is quantitative; spirituality is like an art. Science is about objectivity; spirituality is about subjectivity.

Unfortunately, each sideโ€™s misunderstanding of each other puts them both at odds and in competition. They can so easily see each other as the “villains”. ๐Ÿ‘ฟ

Problems arise:

๐Ÿ“Œ When the spiritual individual misunderstands science and cite studies which a scientist could easily conclude are junk or pseudoscience.

๐Ÿ“Œ When the scientific individual misunderstands spirituality and thinks the ideas that are taught are useless because they canโ€™t be measured quantitatively.

๐Ÿ“Œ When the spiritual individual labels scientists and the breakthroughs they discover as โ€œdemonicโ€ and โ€œunnaturalโ€.

๐Ÿ“Œ When the scientific individual labels spirituality and the people within the communities as โ€œdelusionalโ€ and โ€œwoo wooโ€.

In other words, these 2 areas are not the same. Therefore, we should not treat them as such. We should respect they are 2 separate fields of inquiry into our existence called Life.

Let me add: Iโ€™m NOT saying I treat these fields as having equal usefulness. Iโ€™m not saying you should take the middle ground and believe both fields are just 50-50. I strongly disagree with that. ๐Ÿ‘Ž

I have my views and I have my stances towards each of them, but thatโ€™s not what this post is about.

My point with writing this post is the same point Iโ€™ve made in so many of my other posts: ๐’…๐’ ๐’๐’๐’• ๐’•๐’‰๐’“๐’๐’˜ ๐’๐’–๐’• ๐’•๐’‰๐’† ๐’ƒ๐’‚๐’ƒ๐’š ๐’˜๐’Š๐’•๐’‰ ๐’•๐’‰๐’† ๐’ƒ๐’‚๐’•๐’‰๐’˜๐’‚๐’•๐’†๐’“.

Am I saying a scientist or spiritual teacher shouldnโ€™t question authority figures or experts outside their dedicated fields? Of course not. Thatโ€™s how we’re able learn and understand from the people in their fields.

Hell, I’m not an expert in either field and I’m still writing this post! ๐Ÿ˜…

But what Iโ€™m advocating for is an open communication between the fields, to bring the best of each other to the table while simultaneously respecting where the fields are going to irreconcilably differ.

โš ๏ธ THIS ISN’T EVEN LIMITED TO SCIENCE AND SPIRITUALITY! โš ๏ธ

You can also apply this to the political sphere, especially when it comes to Democrats and Republicans, “the Left” and “the Right”.

Van Jones argued in his recent book โ€œBeyond the Messy Truthโ€ one of the biggest problems facing our modern politics is that political parties are no longer uniting under the ideals of Conservatism or Liberalism, to bring out the best of their parties. Instead, they are uniting under a shared hostility of being anti-The Other Party. ๐Ÿคฌ

Social psychologist Jonathan Haidt provided a similar argument in his book โ€œThe Coddling of the American Mindโ€ but in the context of college campuses. He cites instances where college students have forcibly interrupted and shouted down guest speakers they personally deemed โ€œoffensiveโ€. In one instance, a college professor disagreed with students about one of their social causes. Student protesters surrounded him, screamed at him when he tried to speak, and demanded he resign from the university. ๐Ÿคฌ

True story!

To put it simply: ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐š๐ซ๐ข๐ณ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐›๐ž๐ญ๐ฐ๐ž๐ž๐ง ๐ฉ๐ž๐จ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ž ๐ก๐š๐ฌ ๐ข๐ง๐œ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ฌ๐ž๐. ๐“๐ซ๐ข๐›๐š๐ฅ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ก๐š๐ฌ ๐ข๐ง๐œ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ฌ๐ž๐. ๐‚๐ฒ๐ง๐ข๐œ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ก๐š๐ฌ ๐ข๐ง๐œ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ฌ๐ž๐. ๐“๐ก๐ž๐ซ๐žโ€™๐ฌ ๐š ๐ ๐ซ๐จ๐ฐ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐œ๐จ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ž๐œ๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž ๐š๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฉ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ฉ๐ž๐จ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ž ๐ฐ๐ก๐จ ๐๐ข๐ฌ๐š๐ ๐ซ๐ž๐ž ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฎ๐ฌ, ๐›๐ฒ ๐๐ž๐Ÿ๐š๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ญ, ๐ก๐š๐ฏ๐ž ๐ฆ๐š๐ฅ๐ข๐œ๐ข๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐ž๐ง๐ญ.

๐€๐ซ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ก๐š๐ฏ๐ž ๐›๐ž๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž ๐ฅ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐š๐›๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ž๐š๐ซ๐œ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐  ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐ญ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ญ๐ก ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ง๐ฌ๐ญ๐ž๐š๐ ๐š๐›๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐›๐ž๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ง. ๐“๐ก๐ž๐ฒ’๐ฏ๐ž ๐›๐ž๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž ๐ฅ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐š๐›๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐Ÿ๐š๐œ๐ญ๐ฌ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ฌ๐จ๐ง ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ง๐ฌ๐ญ๐ž๐š๐ ๐š๐›๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐๐จ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ ๐ฉ๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ๐จ๐ง ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ž๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐š๐ฅ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ฆ๐ข๐๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง.

And I wonโ€™t pretend Iโ€™m immune from falling into these mindsets either. Iโ€™m not here to claim moral superiority with this post; I need to remind myself not to fall into these traps A LOT! Itโ€™s why I canโ€™t blame you if you fall into them either. ๐Ÿ’ฏ

BUT IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY!

You don’t have to see someone else as your “villain”. It may be good for one’s online branding and business marketing to polarize, but it isn’t good for humanity’s sake.

Itโ€™s why we all need to be very careful about the environments we surround ourselves in, the people we choose to surround ourselves with, and what we choose to feed our minds on a daily basis. Itโ€™s not just about maintaining a healthy physical body but also maintaining a healthy mental mind. ๐Ÿค”

๐‘ญ๐’†๐’†๐’… ๐’š๐’๐’–๐’“๐’”๐’†๐’๐’‡ ๐’‹๐’–๐’๐’Œ ๐’‡๐’๐’๐’… ๐’๐’ ๐’‚ ๐’…๐’‚๐’Š๐’๐’š ๐’ƒ๐’‚๐’”๐’Š๐’”, ๐’š๐’๐’– ๐’‰๐’‚๐’“๐’Ž ๐’š๐’๐’–๐’“ ๐’ƒ๐’๐’…๐’š. ๐‘ญ๐’†๐’†๐’… ๐’š๐’๐’–๐’“๐’”๐’†๐’๐’‡ ๐’‹๐’–๐’๐’Œ ๐’Š๐’๐’‡๐’๐’“๐’Ž๐’‚๐’•๐’Š๐’๐’ ๐’๐’ ๐’‚ ๐’…๐’‚๐’Š๐’๐’š ๐’ƒ๐’‚๐’”๐’Š๐’”, ๐’š๐’๐’– ๐’‰๐’‚๐’“๐’Ž ๐’š๐’๐’–๐’“ ๐’Ž๐’Š๐’๐’….

Did you know Van Jones is close friends with Newt Gingrich? They are on opposite sides of the political spectrum. Van Jones is a Progressive Democrat and Newt a Republican. Van Jones notes in his book they disagree more than they ever agree politically. But despite that, theyโ€™re very good friends! ๐Ÿ‘ฅ

Newt once shared with him this piece of wisdom:

โ€œ๐’€๐’๐’–๐’“ โ€˜90% ๐’†๐’๐’†๐’Ž๐’šโ€™ ๐’„๐’‚๐’ ๐’”๐’•๐’Š๐’๐’ ๐’ƒ๐’† ๐’š๐’๐’–๐’“ โ€˜10% ๐’‡๐’“๐’Š๐’†๐’๐’…โ€™ โ€“ ๐’๐’ ๐’†๐’—๐’†๐’“๐’š ๐’‘๐’๐’Š๐’๐’• ๐’˜๐’‰๐’†๐’“๐’† ๐’š๐’๐’– ๐’‚๐’ˆ๐’“๐’†๐’†.โ€

I think Jonathan Haidt was also right, in the same tradition, when he said the greatest wisdom you can find is in the minds of your โ€œopponentsโ€. Your “villains”. The people you label in your mind as โ€œpure evilโ€. ๐Ÿ‘ฟ

BUT YOU AND I BOTH HAVE TO BE OPEN TO HEARING THEM OUT!

A few days ago, I listened to a Joe Rogan podcast where he interviewed Daryl Davis. Daryl is an African American musician who is not only known for his amazing talent on the piano but also for converting over 200 people OUT of the white supremacist group the Ku Klux Klan.

On the podcast he went in-depth about how this all happened, but the biggest detail which stuck out to me hearing his story was in how simple his solution was!

๐‘ฏ๐’† ๐’‰๐’‚๐’… ๐’„๐’Š๐’—๐’Š๐’, ๐’‡๐’“๐’Š๐’†๐’๐’…๐’๐’š ๐’„๐’๐’๐’—๐’†๐’“๐’”๐’‚๐’•๐’Š๐’๐’๐’” ๐’˜๐’Š๐’•๐’‰ ๐’•๐’‰๐’†๐’Ž. ๐‘ฏ๐’† ๐’”๐’‰๐’๐’˜๐’†๐’… ๐’•๐’‰๐’“๐’๐’–๐’ˆ๐’‰ ๐’‰๐’Š๐’” ๐’“๐’†๐’”๐’‘๐’†๐’„๐’•๐’‡๐’–๐’ ๐’†๐’™๐’‚๐’Ž๐’‘๐’๐’† ๐’‚๐’๐’… ๐’‘๐’“๐’†๐’”๐’†๐’๐’„๐’† ๐’‰๐’† ๐’˜๐’‚๐’” ๐’๐’๐’• ๐’”๐’๐’Ž๐’†๐’๐’๐’† ๐’•๐’‰๐’†๐’š ๐’๐’†๐’†๐’…๐’†๐’… ๐’•๐’ ๐’ƒ๐’† ๐’‚๐’‡๐’“๐’‚๐’Š๐’… ๐’๐’‡.

He learned about what they believed about African Americans, and he (again, respectfully) challenged their ideas. He invited many of them over to his house for dinner! They even invited him to their Klan meetings! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

It wasnโ€™t long after that one of the top Klan members handed Daryl his white Klan robe and said he was leaving. Again, this was just 1 of over 200 Klansmenโ€ฆ!

But the solution Daryl provided is not so different from the story of Megan Phelps-Roper either! Megan was a former member of the Westboro Baptist Church, a group widely known for their extremist views towards homosexuals (โ€œGod hates f**sโ€) and Jews. ๐Ÿ˜”

From birth, Megan was raised in the Church as her grandfather was the founder. Because of her upbringing, she was raised to see a very limited view of the world around her. She only knew what her family told her. She was taught the people hating her and her family meant that they were righteous in their beliefs. ๐Ÿ“–

It was only when she created a Twitter account to promote her Church was she exposed to other viewpoints. Anonymous people she had never met were now pointing out logical inconsistencies in her posts. One of those people in particular was a lawyer she debated and eventually became good friends with.

But the difference between him and other people who simply threw insults at her? ๐‘ฏ๐’† ๐’˜๐’‚๐’” ๐’“๐’†๐’”๐’‘๐’†๐’„๐’•๐’‡๐’–๐’.

Eventually she started to doubt what she believed. She went to her folks for clarity, and she didn’t get a satisfactory answer. Eventually she left the church along with her sister, and her family shunned her. Today she now shares her personal story with others, to provide an inside view when it comes to religious extremism.

And sheโ€™s also now married to her lawyer friend! ๐Ÿ˜…

๐Ÿค” WHAT DO ALL THESE STORIES HAVE IN COMMON? ๐Ÿค”

๐Ÿ“Œ ๐‘ป๐’‰๐’‚๐’• ๐’๐’–๐’“ ๐’”๐’†๐’๐’‡-๐’“๐’Š๐’ˆ๐’‰๐’•๐’†๐’๐’–๐’”๐’๐’†๐’”๐’” ๐’˜๐’Š๐’๐’ ๐’Œ๐’Š๐’๐’ ๐’๐’–๐’“ ๐’๐’‘๐’‘๐’๐’“๐’•๐’–๐’๐’Š๐’•๐’š ๐’•๐’ ๐’„๐’๐’๐’๐’†๐’„๐’• ๐’˜๐’Š๐’•๐’‰ ๐’๐’•๐’‰๐’†๐’“๐’”.

๐Ÿ“Œ ๐‘ป๐’‰๐’‚๐’• ๐’Š๐’‡ ๐’˜๐’† ๐’˜๐’‚๐’๐’• ๐’•๐’ ๐’…๐’Š๐’”๐’‚๐’ˆ๐’“๐’†๐’† ๐’˜๐’Š๐’•๐’‰ ๐’”๐’๐’Ž๐’†๐’๐’๐’†, ๐’•๐’‰๐’† ๐’‡๐’Š๐’“๐’”๐’• ๐’”๐’•๐’†๐’‘ ๐’Š๐’” ๐’•๐’ ๐’”๐’Š๐’Ž๐’‘๐’๐’š ๐’ƒ๐’† ๐’“๐’†๐’”๐’‘๐’†๐’„๐’•๐’‡๐’–๐’. ๐‘ต๐’ ๐’๐’๐’† ๐’†๐’—๐’†๐’“ ๐’„๐’‰๐’‚๐’๐’ˆ๐’†๐’… ๐’•๐’‰๐’†๐’Š๐’“ ๐’Ž๐’Š๐’๐’… ๐’‡๐’“๐’๐’Ž ๐’ƒ๐’†๐’Š๐’๐’ˆ ๐’Š๐’๐’”๐’–๐’๐’•๐’†๐’… ๐’‚๐’๐’… ๐’”๐’„๐’“๐’†๐’‚๐’Ž๐’†๐’… ๐’‚๐’•.

๐Ÿ“Œ ๐‘ป๐’‰๐’‚๐’• ๐’˜๐’† ๐’„๐’‚๐’ ๐’‡๐’Š๐’๐’… ๐’„๐’๐’Ž๐’Ž๐’๐’ ๐’ˆ๐’“๐’๐’–๐’๐’… ๐’˜๐’Š๐’•๐’‰ ๐’‘๐’†๐’๐’‘๐’๐’† ๐’˜๐’† ๐’‰๐’‚๐’—๐’† ๐’š๐’†๐’• ๐’•๐’ ๐’–๐’๐’…๐’†๐’“๐’”๐’•๐’‚๐’๐’…, ๐’ƒ๐’–๐’• ๐’Š๐’• ๐’˜๐’Š๐’๐’ ๐’•๐’‚๐’Œ๐’† ๐’†๐’‡๐’‡๐’๐’“๐’• ๐’•๐’ ๐’…๐’ ๐’”๐’.

These all may sound like common sense. But how many people do you see using this common sense on a daily basis? How about yourself?

Sounds like it’s back to basics, right?! ๐Ÿ˜…

BUT I GET IT!

Seriously, I do!

Your need to โ€œbe rightโ€ is the same reason for my desire to โ€œbe rightโ€. โค๏ธ

Holding onto our limited understandings of the world is emotionally comfortable. It feels safe, secure, and it lets us choose only to let people into our lives who we can guarantee wonโ€™t make a mess of our emotional homes.

Because to be open to new and contrasting ideas, ones which challenge our sense of self and personal identity, can trigger great existential pain in us. Who would want to feel that kind of pain?! ๐Ÿ˜ซ

To admit Iโ€™m wrong requires me to also acknowledge the identity Iโ€™ve built around myself is not as sturdy as I once believed it was.

Just continuing to hold onto what I believe and tuning out everyone else who disagrees would provide me the Certainty I crave to an uncertain life.

But thereโ€™s 1 problem:

๐ˆ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐จ๐งโ€™๐ญ ๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ž๐ฑ๐ฉ๐ž๐ซ๐ข๐ž๐ง๐œ๐ž ๐ฅ๐ข๐Ÿ๐ž ๐จ๐ง ๐š ๐๐ž๐ž๐ฉ๐ž๐ซ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ž ๐ฆ๐ž๐š๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ ๐Ÿ๐ฎ๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ฅ, ๐›๐ž๐œ๐š๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎโ€™๐ฏ๐ž ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ž๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ž๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐š๐ฅ ๐ก๐จ๐ฆ๐ž ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐œ๐ก ๐š ๐ฌ๐ฆ๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฅ๐ž๐œ๐ญ ๐Ÿ๐ž๐ฐ.

So, I get itโ€ฆitโ€™s not easy! Not even for me! ๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™‚โ€

BUT THERE ARE SOLUTIONS!

These are solutions we need to start addressing sooner than later, so much as we are going to live together and not die together.

๐Ÿ™Œ We need to learn to tolerate the fact there are 7 billion other people on this planet who may not think the way we do or believe the things we do.

๐Ÿ™Œ We need to learn to develop modesty and humility, that there are other people we can learn from and perhaps teach us something we didnโ€™t know before.

๐Ÿ™Œ We need to develop the habit of giving others the benefit of the doubt. Take the person who cut you off in traffic. You can choose to assume they are a โ€œhorrible driverโ€. But you can also assume they may be in a rush to get to their loved ones at the hospital, to assume this person doesnโ€™t normally drive like this.

Again, Iโ€™m by no mean flawless here! I will need these reminders from time to time too! Consider these solutions above not just a reminder for you but also for me!

But whoโ€™s with me on this? This is my call-to-action, minus a product you can purchase from me! ๐Ÿ˜œ

WHO’S WITH ME TO BE THE CHANGE WE WISH TO SEE?! โค๏ธ

Why Blaming HURTS You!

By default, blaming disempowers you.ย ๐Ÿ’”

Every time you blame, you implicitly tell yourself: “I am not in control.”ย ๐Ÿ‘

And the more you do it, the less you’ll feel in control.ย ๐Ÿ‘Ž

It’s why blaming is so easy. It’s so much easier for us to take what we feel and any responsibilities off ourselves and place it onto people and things. We live in a CULTure of blame.ย ๐Ÿ‘‡

Read the latest political drama for example and you’ll see what I mean!ย ๐Ÿ˜…

โœ‹”But wait Donald! Some things are DEFINITELY not my fault!ย โŒย If someone’s cruel to me and I’ve done nothing wrong, why can’t I blame them?! I’m definitely not responsible for THAT!”ย ๐Ÿ’ฏ

I’m going to use the words of Scott Harris as he said it beautifully:

“Taking responsibility doesn’t mean it’s my fault.ย ๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™‚๏ธ

Taking responsibility doesn’t mean I caused it.ย ๐Ÿ˜ฃ

Taking responsibility is about responding to the situation with everything I’ve got.”ย ๐Ÿ’ช

To stop ourselves from blaming is about taking our power back in a situation. It’s about being RESPONSE-ABLE, that no matter what your environment does that you are still in control.ย ๐Ÿ‘Š

So yes, we can blame others.๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธย …But if we’re going to take control over our lives, if we’re not going to let our environments dictate how we feel, if we’re going to take the reins over our emotions, blame is NEVER going to get us there.ย โค๏ธ

Why Want and Need Are DIFFERENT!

We NEED food to live; we WANT specific foods we like to eat.ย ๐Ÿ•

We NEED shelter to survive; we WANT a house that’s big and spacious.ย ๐Ÿ 

We NEED connection with others; we WANT to connect with people we like.ย ๐Ÿ‘ฅ

When we take the time to separate the difference between these 2 in the mind, we allow a new perspective to enter our lives. We allow ourselves to see how much we do in fact have in our lives.ย ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

๐ŸŒŸย We understand the difference between what’s essential and what’s desirable, what’s a necessity and what’s unnecessary.ย ๐ŸŒŸ

It’s something you may need to remind yourself of from time to time. I know I definitely have!ย ๐Ÿ˜…

When we mistake our Needs and Wants for being the same thing, we suffer when our Wants aren’t met, because emotionally we are treating our Wants as if they are Needs.ย ๐Ÿ˜ญ

But when you discern the difference and your Want is not met, it’s so much easier for the mind to simply say: “Eh! I didn’t Need it anyhow!”ย ๐Ÿ˜‰