How Emotions Are HABITS!

“I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE OFFENDED!” 🤬

There’s no question: we all get upset at times in our lives. Sad. Frustrated. Angry. Fearful. Perhaps even hateful.

In fact, these negative emotions are some of the easiest for human beings to experience. It’s hard-wired in us. 😲

It’s known as Negativity Bias, just 1 of many cognitive biases which affect our ability as human beings to see the world in an objective manner. 😱

Instead of seeing the world as it is, as a matter of fact, we usually see it through many lens filters of cognitive biases. 🌎

So it makes practical sense to me when I see people get passionate about experiencing negative emotions. Our brains which evolved to help us survive needed those emotions in times of defense and protection. 👍

But there are times when negative emotions become excessive, one where instead of being useful it becomes an emotional home for people. 😱

“Wait! You can’t be saying that people LIKE to feel upset! That’s ridiculous!” 🗣️

I’d love for you to try my jacket on for a moment. 🧥

Think of your emotions as similar to habits. We all have habits, some good and some bad. But wait, why do we keep bad habits? Why do we hold onto bad habits which don’t benefit us yet can cause us long-term harm? 🤔

🌟 Because it’s far more comfortable keeping bad habits than it is creating new ones to replace them. 🌟

Or when we attempt to build new habits, we stop trying and we fall back into old habits. Like the saying: “Old habits die hard!” 😅

So like habits, what if our emotions work in a similar way? What if we keep experiencing emotional states of mind not because they necessarily help us but because they’re the places we’re most comfortable, an emotional home we’re most familiar with, a place where we have certainty over our lives? 🏠

It sounds self-defeating, and like our bad habits it is too! 🙁

One has the “right” to be offended. One has the “right” to feel angry. One has the “right” to judge, criticize, condemn, and generalize people and things all they want. You will get a temporary feeling of power. 💪

But it never lasts. The question: does it serve a person to feel negative emotions? Or are they perhaps bad habits needing to be broken? 🤔

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#TranscendLabels???

What do I mean to #TranscendLabels🤔

We create and use labels very often. We use them with political parties (Republican, Democrat, Independent), with personality traits (Introvert, Extrovert), with racism (African American, White, Asian), with sexual orientation (Gay, Straight, Bisexual), with food habits (Paleo, Atkins, Vegan), with medical diagnoses, etc.

Creating labels gives us a feeling of security, the impression we greater understand how the world works. They reinforce what we wish to understand more about versus what we don’t. They provide a sense of community among others who share the same beliefs and values.

And none of these things are right or wrong. But I’ve also found the more labels we continue to create, the more limitations we unintentionally set in understanding ourselves, others, and the world around us. I see it having a negative effect. Instead of the individual, we have a category. Instead of having multiple political views, we have a side to choose. Instead of understanding someone’s emotions, we have a diagnosis. Instead of understanding a culture, we have a stereotype.

By no means am I saying I’m perfect either. But I wouldn’t be where I am today if I kept saying: “It’s because I have Autism…It’s because I have a disorder…It’s because I’m an Introvert… It’s because Veganism is weird…” Transcending our labels and the ones we’re told about who we are, you will soon see how much you in this life are capable of. Much love. #TranscendLabels 

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Want to know how to Transcend Labels too? My FREE eBook “Transcend Labels: The 5 Keys” is NOW AVAILABLE! Click HERE to get your personal copy!

Seeking Happiness from Others

Valentine’s Day was a couple days ago, and I thought about this silly picture I took last year. I’ve been single for quite a bit of my life, but it’s never really “bothered” me. If anything, I like to poke fun at myself and my singleness as such.

I notice around Valentine’s Day some people start to feel down because they are single. And I can empathize with that. Continue reading “Seeking Happiness from Others”