Imposter Syndrome

🌟 Don’t beat yourself up…

There’s a part of you that no matter how hard you work, it’s ready to tell you what’s missing from your life. There’s a part of you that no matter how much you believe you’re doing well, it comes knocking at your mental home to challenge you:

“Are you SURE you’re doing enough?” 💭
“Do you REALLY believe everything you say you are is true?” 💭
“Do you TRULY deserve what you’ve been given?” 💭

I’ve felt this in me before, multiple times in fact…

There’s the psychology term “imposter syndrome”. It’s the tendency to believe our achievements pale in comparison to what we believe we’ve actually done. To put it another way, we don’t feel the status, success, or fame we’ve received is equal to our own feelings of self-worth. In our minds it doesn’t feel like it’s “deserved”. We have this irrational fear we’re ultimately going to be exposed as a “fraud”. 👈

Would it surprise you to hear even the most famous of individuals have experienced these feelings? Individuals like Tina Fey, Maya Angelou, Tom Hanks, Anthony Hopkins, and even Meryl Streep have openly expressed feeling like this. Despite all the wealth, awards, and recognition they’ve received from other people, there’s a part of them that still at times self-doubt what they had accomplished in their lives.

What’s easy to forget on this journey called life is remembering all the achievements we’ve made. Now I’m not saying I’m a celebrity or am following the same path these individuals are. I’m saying these feelings of self-doubt are universal, these feelings of inadequacy and not being enough just where we are. A character from the film “Before Sunset” summed it up pretty well: “I feel like I’m designed to be slightly dissatisfied with everything.” 😝

This past year has truly been a journey: ups, downs, lefts, rights, zig-zags, and any way the Wonkavator is going. Even now, being almost a year since I stepped into this new path for myself, I have felt these emotions come up. It creeps up when you least expect it, too. As I write this, I can already hear the echoes of this voice in my mind.

But I have an answer for this voice as well as your own…

📍 Disconnect yourself from these voices. These voices are not You or Me. These are voices of Fear. These are voices from your Past, voices that are no longer serving you now and in your future.

📍 Unconditionally accept yourself where you are now in the present. The past (literally) no longer exists but in your mind. So why not take what’s most useful from your past into the future?

📍 Reflect on your achievements. These moments of self-doubt are temporary; all the achievements and impact you’ve made on the world and others is forever. Remember that everything you do has an effect, even if you don’t have the chance to see it for yourself.

📍 Remember your WHY. You are where you are today for a reason. Something might have pulled you here, something might have pushed you here, but you’re here for one reason for another. When you have strong enough reasons for why you’re here, your self-doubts will easily start to disintegrate.

Writing this post this evening was in it’s very own way cathartic. As much as there have been times I’ve experienced this self-doubt, I remember all the amazing things I’ve achieved in my life that have shaped me into the person penning this very post. This is a moment in time I won’t ever get exactly the same again. No moment is, and it honestly feels quite surreal thinking about it in that way. ☺️

But I digress. Don’t beat yourself up. It’s not worth your future. I can guarantee you’re not alone, and that everyone else has done it before too. But the key is to remember those moments are not meant to stay; they are meant to pass. Much love. ❤️#TranscendLabels

A Lot of Meaning with a Touch of Purpose

“Ever more people today have the means to live, but no meaning to live for.” ~ Viktor Frankl

A life filled with purpose and meaning is what drives a person forward. Without either of these, what is the point of life? Why does a person wake up every morning: to live…or to maintain? 

I believe these are very important questions to ask in a world where mental health is a grave concern. According to the World Health Organization, depression is now the leading cause of illness with an estimate of 300 MILLION people affected. A few years ago I would’ve also been a part of that list. 

“So what changed, Donald?!” 💬
– I started focusing on doing things I was deeply passionate about.
– I started choosing to see problems as gifts I could learn from.
– I started challenging my own destructive habits. I quit drinking soda, coming from originally 3 to 4 cans a day. I started eating more plant-based foods. And in turn I lost over 80 pounds.
– I studied philosophy and saw there’s MANY more ways to look at life. I embraced a form of secular spirituality.
– I started meditating and becoming aware how my thoughts were controlling my life.
– I made it habit to be grateful for something every day.

It wasn’t a magic pill that cured me of depression; it was a lifestyle change that was meaningful and purposeful. It wasn’t seeing depression and anxiety as biological defects that helped me alleviate them; it was seeing them as messengers telling me something in my life had to change because they kept occurring. 

The status quo isn’t working, otherwise we wouldn’t have so many people feeling this way about their lives. I’m glad I stepped outside of it and went in a different direction. I feel so much happier. And I will help others do the same! My life has never been more purposeful or meaningful than it is today!  #TranscendLabels

Comment below what is important to YOU in your life! 

#TranscendLabels???

What do I mean to #TranscendLabels🤔

We create and use labels very often. We use them with political parties (Republican, Democrat, Independent), with personality traits (Introvert, Extrovert), with racism (African American, White, Asian), with sexual orientation (Gay, Straight, Bisexual), with food habits (Paleo, Atkins, Vegan), with medical diagnoses, etc.

Creating labels gives us a feeling of security, the impression we greater understand how the world works. They reinforce what we wish to understand more about versus what we don’t. They provide a sense of community among others who share the same beliefs and values.

And none of these things are right or wrong. But I’ve also found the more labels we continue to create, the more limitations we unintentionally set in understanding ourselves, others, and the world around us. I see it having a negative effect. Instead of the individual, we have a category. Instead of having multiple political views, we have a side to choose. Instead of understanding someone’s emotions, we have a diagnosis. Instead of understanding a culture, we have a stereotype.

By no means am I saying I’m perfect either. But I wouldn’t be where I am today if I kept saying: “It’s because I have Autism…It’s because I have a disorder…It’s because I’m an Introvert… It’s because Veganism is weird…” Transcending our labels and the ones we’re told about who we are, you will soon see how much you in this life are capable of. Much love. #TranscendLabels 

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Want to know how to Transcend Labels too? My FREE eBook “Transcend Labels: The 5 Keys” is NOW AVAILABLE! Click HERE to get your personal copy!

I Took the Leap!

Around this time last month I was crying more than I had in a very long time.

It was hard processing everything that was happening inside of me. My emotions, the big and the small, were taking on various forms of heaviness. I was feeling drained. I was feeling confident. At another I wanted to drown in my sadness. My mind had become a battlefield of emotions. At the time it felt like these feelings were here to stay…

But when I think about it now, I still get emotional. But I’m still grateful it happened. Why?

What happened last month? I DECIDED last month that this year was going to be THE year my 2019 self thanked me for. I decided I was going to take the LEAP, take the jump into the unknown, and start building my own business. I decided that I’m leaving my corporate job very soon to pursue my business and my passions FULL-TIME. I decided I was going to start following my DREAMS to continue serving others, to show others what’s POSSIBLE in their lives, and not catering to what others want me to be. I decided this FOR ME.

Needless to say, I received polarizing reactions from people I told. And for the ones whose acceptance I may have appreciated the most, not everyone reciprocated. I felt hurt, and it did take me on an emotional roller-coaster. For friends that know me personally that are reading this, perhaps you may also be having similar feelings or reactions to what I’m saying. You can call me CRAZY. You can call me DUMB. You can call me BOLD. Nonetheless I’ve made my decision, and I haven’t felt more in control of my life than I have in doing so. I haven’t given myself a voice for a while, and now it’s time to let it shine. Whether someone supports me or not, I am determined to NOT GIVE UP. I will be too STUBBORN to do so, and because life is too short to not keep going. I’m going to help more, give more, and offer more. You can count on that!

All these things happened in the past month, and I’m grateful that it did. I went through these rough patches to be reminded that this path isn’t going to be easy, that this journey will be a rocky one, and that long-term this pain is temporary. It’s about the long-term, not the short-term. I think about the legacy I’m looking to leave. I think about the people I have yet to know and inspire. I think about the people who I can continue showing what’s possible. I think about the life I have yet to live. These dark moments today are merely building the foundation for who I’m meant to be.

As I write this, I am listening to the song that inspired this very post. It’s from “The Sound of Music”. One morning after a previous evening of tears, I played this on my laptop. I remember hearing the song, but this morning I decided to close my eyes. I wasn’t just hearing the words through my ears anymore; I was feeling the emotions behind them. I was crying again, but this time the tears were different. They were of gratitude, of love, and especially hope. I was seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. I was seeing that ultimately it will all be worth it…all the way until I find my dream.