Why Hurt People HURT People!

๐Ÿ™Œ HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE! ๐Ÿ™Œ

In times of stress, our thinking NARROWS.

We forget the ideals we set for ourselves. ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

We forget the goals we were aiming to reach. ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

We instead fall into thinking patterns limited to our self-preservation. ๐Ÿ˜จ

But youโ€™re NO LESS of a person for falling back into old thinking patterns. It happens to us all. โค๏ธ

What matters is not that we became lost in thought (for the thousandth time), but that we continue to acknowledge the moments when we do, to accept the moment as it is, and continue redirecting our focus towards what truly matters to us. โคด๏ธ

If youโ€™re a meditater, you know how RANDOM your thoughts can be! ๐Ÿง˜โ€โ™‚๏ธ

Thoughts you have absolutely no control over will appear in your conscious mind, like a fish in a pond which pops its head at the surface of the water. ๐ŸŸ

With a practice like meditation, you realize you donโ€™t have to engage with this fish. You realize itโ€™s just one of many fish that will appear ALL THE TIME, and you have the choice to allow this fish to just go on its way. ๐Ÿ™Œ

But without us developing these skills of self-awareness and self-control, we will ALWAYS be at the whim of us grabbing the next fish. ๐Ÿคฏ

We will continue grabbing every fish that appears and assume every fish carries equal value.

But the problem is some fish are unhealthy, harmful, and even dangerous. ๐Ÿฆˆ

For example, itโ€™s SO EASY these days for the Fish of Outrage to appear more and more in the mind. ๐Ÿ˜…

But the more often you grab the Fish of Outrage, the more often the fish comes back.

Because whatever you keep focusing on in the mind grows. ๐Ÿ‘€

Itโ€™s why Nietszche famously said: โ€œ๐‡๐ž ๐ฐ๐ก๐จ ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฆ๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐จ๐ค ๐ญ๐จ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ก๐ž ๐ก๐ข๐ฆ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฅ๐Ÿ ๐๐จ๐ž๐ฌ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐›๐ž๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž ๐š ๐ฆ๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ. ๐€๐ง๐ ๐ข๐Ÿ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ ๐š๐ณ๐ž ๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐  ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐จ ๐š๐ง ๐š๐›๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ฌ, ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐š๐›๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐š๐ฅ๐ฌ๐จ ๐ ๐š๐ณ๐ž๐ฌ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐จ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ.โ€

In other words, some of the most dangerous people are the ones who can only see wrongdoing in everyone else but themselves. They see themselves through a divine lens while simultaneously projecting the Fish they reject in their own minds onto other people. ๐Ÿ‘‰

Thatโ€™s why thereโ€™s the saying: โ€œ๐—ช๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜ ๐Ÿญ ๐—ณ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—ฟ, ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐Ÿฏ ๐—ณ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€ ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฏ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ธ ๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚.โ€

๐ŸŒŸ If you are suffering, you are lost in thought. ๐ŸŒŸ

Suffering begets suffering.

Thatโ€™s why itโ€™s important we remember:

๐Ÿ™Œ HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE! ๐Ÿ™Œ

That person you see screaming in the face of another person? ๐Ÿคฌ

That person expressing irrational and out-of-control behavior? ๐Ÿคฌ

That person who is vowing to get revenge? ๐Ÿคฌ

They are ALL suffering. ๐Ÿ˜”

For my social media friends thirsty for condemnation and revenge, I know this may be a difficult concept to understand. ๐Ÿค”

It may be even more difficult because this post is holding a MIRROR up to yourself. โค๏ธ

A person who feels the need to hurt other people, to crave revenge, to watch the whole world burn, is NEVER a happy person. ๐Ÿ‘

In fact, the ones who hurt the most are often the ones who need love the most. โค๏ธ

Because:

๐Ÿ™Œ HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE! ๐Ÿ™Œ

Consider the words of Sam Harris:

โ€œ๐„๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฒ ๐ฉ๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ๐จ๐ง ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ก๐š๐ฏ๐ž ๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ ๐ฆ๐ž๐ญ, ๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฒ ๐ฉ๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ๐จ๐ง ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐š๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐ž๐ž๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ๐๐š๐ฒ, ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ ๐จ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ข๐ž. โšฐ๏ธย .

๐‹๐ข๐ฏ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐  ๐ž๐ง๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก, ๐ž๐š๐œ๐ก ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ๐ž๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐Ÿ๐ซ๐ข๐ž๐ง๐๐ฌ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐Ÿ๐š๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฒ. ๐€๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ ๐จ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฌ๐ž ๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฒ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐ž ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ฅ๐. ๐Ÿ˜ข

๐–๐ก๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐จ๐ง๐ž ๐ฐ๐š๐ง๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐›๐ž ๐š๐ง๐ฒ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐  ๐›๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ค๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฆ ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฆ๐ž๐š๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ฆ๐ž?โ€ โค๏ธ

During times of stress, these ideas Iโ€™m sharing may likely WONโ€™T be at the forefront of our minds. ๐Ÿ‘

Thatโ€™s why itโ€™s our job to work on ourselves, to develop ourselves, and to increase our self-awareness. ๐Ÿ‘€

Because the work we do on ourselves now is NOT just about us. Itโ€™s about everyone around us whoโ€™s also going to benefit from it. ๐ŸŒŽ

When you take care of yourself, you can better take care of others. โค๏ธ

When youโ€™re loving to yourself, youโ€™re more loving to others. โค๏ธ

When youโ€™re forgiving to yourself, youโ€™re more forgiving to others. โค๏ธ

It works both ways. โ†”๏ธ

So, the next time you THINK about grabbing that Fish of Outrage in the mind, remember:

๐Ÿ™Œ HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE! ๐Ÿ™Œ

Will you be a part of breaking the cycle of suffering? ๐Ÿ™Œ

As Martin Luther King Jr. beautifully said: โ€œ๐ƒ๐š๐ซ๐ค๐ง๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐œ๐š๐ง๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐๐ซ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž ๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐๐š๐ซ๐ค๐ง๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ; ๐จ๐ง๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐œ๐š๐ง ๐๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ. ๐‡๐š๐ญ๐ž ๐œ๐š๐ง๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐๐ซ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž ๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ก๐š๐ญ๐ž; ๐จ๐ง๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐ž ๐œ๐š๐ง ๐๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ.โ€ โค๏ธ

How To Embrace What’s In Your Control!

What you focus on expands. ๐Ÿ‘€

What you think about, you become. โค๏ธ

Where has your focus been lately? ๐Ÿค”

On problems? ๐Ÿ˜ฃ

On things outside your control? ๐Ÿ˜ซ

I know these both happened to me the past week. ๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™‚๏ธ

The realization at how much is out of our control can feel disheartening, right? ๐Ÿ’”

Especially when Life didn’t wait to give us this fact one bit at a time. ๐Ÿ‘ฃ

Instead it’s providing it via hailstorm lately. ๐ŸŒฉ๏ธ

So what do you do now? ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ

๐Ÿ™Œ Allow yourself to process this fact. ๐Ÿ™Œ

It’s a tough truth to think about. It was tough for me to sit with too. You’re not alone. โค๏ธ

There is A LOT which is outside of our control. ๐Ÿ˜“

But I do have some good news…๐Ÿ‘‚

There ARE things which are in your control! ๐Ÿ˜Š

We cannot control the circumstances where we are born. ๐Ÿ‘Ž

But we can control what how we use our circumstances. โค๏ธ

We cannot control the actions of others. ๐Ÿ‘Ž

But we can control our reaction to their actions. โค๏ธ

We cannot control what Fate ultimately brings us. ๐Ÿ‘Ž

But we can control how we decide to face our Fate. โค๏ธ

As you go through your day, ask yourself:

– Right now, what is within my control? ๐Ÿค”

– Right now, what is outside my control? ๐Ÿค”

– Right now, what can I do with what’s in my control? ๐Ÿค”

Keep the answers you find in mind for the choices you make today. ๐Ÿ™Œ

If you’re theistically inclined, you can also remember the words of the Serenity Prayer ๐Ÿ™:

“God, grant me the serenity to Accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.” ๐Ÿ™Œ

There’s a lot outside our control. ๐Ÿ’ฏ

But where hope is found is through this self-awareness: ๐Ÿ™Œ

๐Ÿ“Œ With the decisions we make in the present moment.

๐Ÿ“Œ With how we choose to treat each other.

๐Ÿ“Œ With how we embrace being the change we wish to see.

Let us not forget: you cannot have light without darkness, just as you cannot have darkness without light. โ˜ฏ๏ธ

One cannot exist without the other. โ†”๏ธ

Consider this post a part of the light that’s coming your way. โ˜€๏ธ

How We CREATE Our Suffering!

“What upsets people are not THINGS themselves but their JUDGMENTS about the things.”
~ Epictetus ๐Ÿ’ฌ
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We are not upset because an event happens. We are upset because we believe an event “shouldn’t” have happened. ๐Ÿ˜ฃ
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We’re arguing with the “shoulds” in our minds. ๐Ÿคฏ
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We’re arguing with the feelings of anger and frustration we’re experiencing. ๐Ÿคฌ
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We’re arguing with a past which no longer exists. โŒ›
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But here’s the problem:
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“When you argue with reality, you always lose.” ๐Ÿ˜“
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So, I want to introduce you to another solution: ACCEPTANCE. โค๏ธ
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๐Ÿ™Œ Accept whatever it is you’re experiencing. ๐Ÿ™Œ
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Accept the events which happened. Accept the emotions you’re feeling. Accept the judgments you’re making. Accept whatever is.
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Accept. And allow yourself to let them go. ๐Ÿ™Œ
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Release. ๐Ÿ™Œ
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Surrender. ๐Ÿ™Œ
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Because it’s only when we continue holding onto this baggage do we cause ourselves needless suffering. ๐Ÿ˜จ
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“HOW DARE YOU, DONALD! I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE ANGRY AND FRUSTRATED!” ๐Ÿคฌ
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I understand what you mean. โค๏ธ
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There’s this feeling of nobility, this sense of self-righteousness to hold onto these negative emotions. I get it. ๐Ÿ’ฏ
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These emotions provide us feelings of power over things we feel powerless to. They provide us feelings of control over things which we feel are out of our control. โœŠ
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As I heard 1 person describe their feelings of anger: “It’s like jet fuel!” ๐Ÿคฌ
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For me to tell you to accept your emotions, for me to tell you to diffuse the mechanisms which provide your feelings of power and control, is the last thing you’d want to do right?! ๐Ÿ˜…
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I understand. โค๏ธ
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But I can assure you: there are better, constructive ways to handle our problems. ๐Ÿ’ฏ
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Let me clarify:
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๐Ÿ“ Acceptance does not mean we say whether something is “right” or “wrong”.
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๐Ÿ“ Acceptance does not mean we enable the things and situations we’re upset about.
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๐Ÿ“ Accepting is about freeing ourselves from needless suffering.
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๐Ÿ“ Acceptance is about clearing the weeds from our own minds.
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๐Ÿ“ Acceptance is about helping us see things as they are, not how we think they “should” be.
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And acceptance not only affects you! ๐Ÿ˜ฒ
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It affects how you will interact with others, how civil you will be in your communication. ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ
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It affects what solutions you will come up with to address your problems. ๐Ÿค”
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It affects the long-term impact you’ll have on the situation rather than just the short-term. ๐Ÿ—“๏ธ
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“Accept – then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.”
~ Eckhart Tolle ๐Ÿ’ฌ
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Please SHARE this post with anyone who needs to know this!

Why You NEED Confidence!

Think of the person who is so confident they know how to do something…but then fails miserably when they actually do it! ๐Ÿ˜…
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But think of the person who is so skilled on how to actually do something…yet consistently doubts their ability to even do it. ๐Ÿ˜จ
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So what happens? The Confident person takes the Competent person’s place in the Hierarchy of Authority! ๐Ÿ˜ฒ
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๐ŸŒŸ ๐—•๐˜‚๐˜ ๐—ถ๐˜’๐˜€ ๐—ถ๐—บ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜ ๐˜„๐—ฒ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—–๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ณ๐—ถ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—–๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ก๐—ข๐—ง ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐—ฎ๐—บ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด.๐ŸŒŸ
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Confidence is the belief in yourself to do something. Competence is your actual ability to do something. โ†”๏ธ
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You can believe you know how to drive a car, yet simultaneously be a horrible driver! ๐Ÿš—
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You can believe you know how to be a leader, yet simultaneously isolate the people around you! ๐Ÿ˜ฒ
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You can believe you know more than experts in their fields, yet simultaneously spread misinformation because of your ignorance. ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™‚๏ธ
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It’s important we remember this distinction, because it’s easy for all of us to be attracted to Confident leaders. ๐Ÿงฒ
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But that doesn’t automatically make them Competent as well. ๐Ÿ’ฏ
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How often does this happen? How often do we follow leaders based on their Confidence and how they make us feel, rather than based upon their Competence or their personal character? ๐Ÿค”
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Philosopher Bertrand Russell once wrote in an essay in 1933 in response to the Rise of Nazi Germany: โ€œ๐™๐™๐™š ๐™ฉ๐™ง๐™ค๐™ช๐™—๐™ก๐™š ๐™ฌ๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ข๐™ค๐™™๐™š๐™ง๐™ฃ ๐™ฌ๐™ค๐™ง๐™ก๐™™ ๐™ž๐™จ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™–๐™ฉ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™ช๐™ฅ๐™ž๐™™ ๐™–๐™ง๐™š ๐™˜๐™ค๐™˜๐™ ๐™จ๐™ช๐™ง๐™š ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™ฉ๐™š๐™ก๐™ก๐™ž๐™œ๐™š๐™ฃ๐™ฉ ๐™–๐™ง๐™š ๐™›๐™ช๐™ก๐™ก ๐™ค๐™› ๐™™๐™ค๐™ช๐™—๐™ฉ.โ€ โœ๏ธ
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This quote has always reminded me to stay humble, to remember I’m not flawless, and that I can always keep learning more. ๐Ÿ’ฏ
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I can in fact be wrong about many things, and with a continual understanding of the world around me I should remain open to new perspectives. ๐Ÿ™Œ
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Because I might learn something new. ๐Ÿ’ก
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This quote is not only a reminder but also a cautionary one, if we are going to remember what happened in the following decade with Hitler and World War 2. ๐Ÿฉธ
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So, this is my message to the Competent individuals out there…โฌ‡๏ธ
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There are people far less qualified getting the jobs you want because of their Confidence! ๐Ÿ‘
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There are people far less skillful in leadership positions you’d be amazing at because of their Confidence! ๐Ÿ‘
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There are people far less intelligent influencing people more than you because of their Confidence! ๐Ÿ‘
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It’s not because they’re more talented. It’s not because they’re more hard-working. It’s also not because they’re more intelligent; this realization was a HUGE one for me! ๐Ÿคฏ
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It’s because they’re Confident. And people follow Confident people, even when it does head towards destruction. ๐Ÿ’ฅ
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I’m NOT saying every Confident person is unintelligent or isn’t hard working. I know plenty who are, and I wholeheartedly applaud them! ๐Ÿ’ฏ
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But what I am saying is these other individuals exist, and I want to let my more Competent friends know that there’s plenty of more room available on the Hierarchy. ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ
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Take the time to develop your Confidence skills because your gifts are needed. ๐Ÿ‹๏ธ
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Because if you decide to step up, we will not only have a society of Confident leaders but ones who are BOTH Confident AND Competent! ๐Ÿ˜„
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That’s a real powerful combination! ๐Ÿ‘
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You got this! โค๏ธ