Your MOST Important Valentine!

โค๏ธ ๐˜๐Ž๐”๐‘ ๐Œ๐Ž๐’๐“ ๐ˆ๐Œ๐๐Ž๐‘๐“๐€๐๐“ ๐•๐€๐‹๐„๐๐“๐ˆ๐๐„!!! โค๏ธ

What does today’s holiday mean to you?

๐Ÿ’“ A day to share love with the people in your life?

๐Ÿ’˜ A day to spend time with that “special someone”?

๐Ÿ’” A day to remind you of the fact you’re still single?

๐ˆ๐Ÿ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐š๐ง๐ฌ๐ฐ๐ž๐ซ ๐ข๐ฌ #๐Ÿ‘, ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฉ๐ž๐œ๐ข๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ!

For all my single friends out there, me being single myself: no need to fret! ๐Ÿ˜

What if I told you, me at age 29, I’ve NEVER been in a relationship?! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

“๐๐‹๐€๐’๐๐‡๐„๐Œ๐˜!!!”โŒ

Don’t get me wrong, I used to DESPERATELY want one myself! Back in high school, I was on ALL the dating sites and apps: Plenty of Fish, OkCupid, Tinder, etc. I had them ALL covered! ๐Ÿ˜…

๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ “๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜บ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ฅ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ข ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ด๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฑ ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ข๐˜ฅ, ๐˜‹๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ฅ?!” ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ

At the time I didn’t really know, nor did it ever cross my mind to really ask myself why. All I knew was I simply wanted to be in one! ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ

I wanted to find that “special someone” that would make me happier. ๐Ÿ™

๐ŸŒŸ BUT THEREIN WAS THE PROBLEM! ๐ŸŒŸ

๐ˆ ๐ก๐ž๐ฅ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ž๐ฑ๐ฉ๐ž๐œ๐ญ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐ข๐ง ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐š ๐จ๐ง๐œ๐ž ๐ˆ ๐ ๐จ๐ญ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐จ ๐š ๐ซ๐ž๐ฅ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ ๐ˆ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐ฆ๐š๐ ๐ข๐œ๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐›๐ž๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž ๐ก๐š๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ข๐ž๐ซ.

โค๏ธ ๐˜๐Ž๐”๐‘ ๐Œ๐Ž๐’๐“ ๐ˆ๐Œ๐๐Ž๐‘๐“๐€๐๐“ ๐•๐€๐‹๐„๐๐“๐ˆ๐๐„!!! โค๏ธ

Often we’re taught, especially through romantic stories, that if we’re in a relationship with that “special someone” the heavens will somehow magically open and all will live happily ever after. ๐Ÿ˜Š

It’s quite a romantic way of looking at relationships…but as a teenager I didn’t understand that that was NOT reflective of reality! ๐Ÿ˜…

And I get why we keep believing this idea: We tend to only see the POSITIVE moments of a couple’s relationship, on display in our social lives and for all to see on social media. ๐Ÿ–ผ๏ธ

We typically don’t hear about the negative or challenging moments that happen in relationships. Who wants to hear that negativity, right?! ๐Ÿ‘

๐–๐ž’๐ซ๐ž ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ž ๐ž๐š๐ฌ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ž๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐Ÿ๐š๐ง๐ญ๐š๐ฌ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ. ๐–๐ž’๐ซ๐ž ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ž ๐ž๐š๐ฌ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ž๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฏ๐ข๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฉ๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ๐จ๐ง. ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฆ๐š๐ญ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ฅ๐ข๐ณ๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐š ๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ฆ๐ž๐ง๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฅ๐š๐ญ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ฆ๐š๐ค๐ž๐ฌ ๐š ๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐ -๐ญ๐ž๐ซ๐ฆ ๐ซ๐ž๐ฅ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ข๐›๐ฅ๐ž. โค๏ธ

But I didn’t know all this as a teenager! So, as a naive teenager, WHY WOULDN’T I want to be in a relationship? They seemed to be nothing but smooth sailing! They looked like mindless fun! ๐Ÿ˜

But it was around 4 years ago that I finally had this big change in perspective around relationships. I made the unanimous decision to UNINSTALL and DELETE ALL the dating apps I was on! ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ “๐–๐š๐ข๐ญ, ๐ฐ๐ก๐ฒ?!” ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ

Of all the countless hours I had spent on those apps, I had finally become drained of my willingness to keep searching for that “special someone”. ๐Ÿ˜“

If I could take the ratio of time I spent browsing those apps to the amount of time I actually spent talking with someone, it would be like 500 to 1! ๐Ÿ‘Ž

โค๏ธ ๐˜๐Ž๐”๐‘ ๐Œ๐Ž๐’๐“ ๐ˆ๐Œ๐๐Ž๐‘๐“๐€๐๐“ ๐•๐€๐‹๐„๐๐“๐ˆ๐๐„!!! โค๏ธ

Ultimately, my excessive searching was a time-waster! And the worst part of all: I kept making myself feel worse each time I logged off the apps when I had no luck. Each time I blamed MYSELF for it! ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

โš ๏ธ ๐ˆ ๐๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ฅ๐จ๐ฉ๐ž๐ ๐š ๐›๐š๐ ๐ก๐š๐›๐ข๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ก๐ž๐ซ๐ž ๐ˆ ๐ฐ๐š๐ฌ ๐ฎ๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ซ๐ž๐ข๐ง๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ๐œ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฆ๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฅ๐Ÿ: “๐๐จ ๐จ๐ง๐ž ๐ฐ๐š๐ง๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐š๐ฅ๐ค ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฆ๐ž! ๐ˆ ๐Ÿ๐ž๐ž๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐ž๐ฅ๐ข๐ž๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ง ๐ˆ ๐๐ข๐ ๐›๐ž๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ๐ž!” โš ๏ธ

…And then holidays like Valentine’s Day came around every year. They would only FURTHER reinforce a cycle of self-pity that I wasn’t in a relationship. And it SUCKED! ๐Ÿ˜ซ

So, you may be asking: what was the “final straw” for me to make such a drastic change?

โค๏ธ ๐˜๐Ž๐”๐‘ ๐Œ๐Ž๐’๐“ ๐ˆ๐Œ๐๐Ž๐‘๐“๐€๐๐“ ๐•๐€๐‹๐„๐๐“๐ˆ๐๐„!!! โค๏ธ

Since my teenage years, I’ve come to greater realizations about why I wanted to be in a relationship in the first place:

โš ๏ธ I thought being in a relationship was the answer to making me happy. But it wasn’t.

โš ๏ธ I thought by being in a relationship, I could seek recognition and validation from others. But I wouldn’t.

โš ๏ธ I thought that if I was in a relationship, it would fill the void of loneliness I felt inside myself. But it wouldn’t.

As awful as it sounds, ๐ˆ ๐ฌ๐š๐ฐ ๐š ๐ซ๐ž๐ฅ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ ๐š๐ฌ ๐š ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ๐ฆ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐ฉ๐ž๐ซ๐ญ๐ฒ, ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ ๐ฉ๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ๐จ๐ง ๐›๐ž๐ข๐ง๐  ๐š ๐ฉ๐จ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐›๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐ญ๐ฎ๐ญ๐ž ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐š ๐ญ๐จ๐ฒ ๐ˆ ๐ญ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐ฆ๐š๐ค๐ž ๐ฆ๐ž ๐Ÿ๐ž๐ž๐ฅ ๐›๐ž๐ญ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ.๐Ÿงธ

But people aren’t objects! And owning more objects won’t make you fulfilled in the long-term! ๐Ÿ’ฏ

๐Ÿšจ ๐ˆ ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ฅ๐ข๐ณ๐ž๐ ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฐ๐š๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐จ ๐›๐ž ๐ข๐ง ๐š ๐ซ๐ž๐ฅ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ ๐ฐ๐ž๐ซ๐ž ๐Ÿ๐š๐ซ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ž ๐’๐„๐‹๐…๐ˆ๐’๐‡ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ง ๐’๐„๐‹๐…๐‹๐„๐’๐’. ๐Œ๐ฒ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐ฐ๐š๐ฌ ๐ฅ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐š๐›๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ “๐–๐„” ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ž ๐š๐›๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ “๐Œ๐„”. ๐Ÿšจ

How many of us get into a relationship primarily for selfish reasons? I challenge you to seriously think about it! ๐Ÿ’ฏ

So, in sharing my story with you all, I hope you see a part of yourself in this. Sometimes what we’re actually looking for is not that “special someone” but actually something much closer to home. ๐Ÿ 

โค๏ธ ๐˜๐Ž๐”๐‘ ๐Œ๐Ž๐’๐“ ๐ˆ๐Œ๐๐Ž๐‘๐“๐€๐๐“ ๐•๐€๐‹๐„๐๐“๐ˆ๐๐„…๐ˆ๐’ ๐˜๐Ž๐”!!! โค๏ธ

๐ŸŒŸ ๐ƒ๐จ๐ง’๐ญ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐ž๐ญ ๐š ๐ซ๐ž๐ฅ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐˜๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฅ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ. ๐๐ž๐œ๐š๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐œ๐š๐ง๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž ๐ฐ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐๐จ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ก๐š๐ฏ๐ž. ๐ŸŒŸ

Again, for all my single friends out there: no need to fret!

โค๏ธ Relationships are not all sunshine and rainbows. We often don’t see what goes on behind-the-scenes, the ongoing commitment required from both people, or the negative moments which happen in them.

โค๏ธ Inner happiness and fulfillment has to come from YOU first. Fill your cup up first so then you can easily share it with a future lover. If you can’t love yourself first, you can’t expect it to come from someone else, because you’re going to be waiting forever.

โค๏ธ Self-love is one of the greatest gifts you can give. The only person you’re with 100% of your life…is Yourself! So learn to be comfortable in your own company.

โค๏ธ Today is an opportunity for you to change your perspective on how you see relationships. They are not a place you go to GET but a place you go to GIVE, and not being in one DOESN’T determine your self-worth.

Make today a day for you to give love in whatever way you know best! For me, writing this post to share with all of you is one of them! ๐Ÿ˜

Please SHARE this post with anyone who needs to hear this today. Truly, you’re not alone! โค๏ธ

How We Can LOVE More!

“If I ever forget to mention how much I appreciate you being in my life, how you’ve helped me become a better person, this post is for you.ย ๐Ÿ˜Š

I may not always show it. I may not always say it. I may only show it in the smallest of gestures. I may only say it in the briefest of words.ย ๐Ÿ” 

So it’s why I write this post to share with you now. If I haven’t told you today, yesterday, or any day that I appreciate you in my life, let it be known now.”ย ๐Ÿ’ฌ

Let’s pay it forward right now!ย ๐Ÿ‘

๐Ÿ“Œย Tell someone how much they mean to you.

๐Ÿ“Œย Share with them why they’re important in your life.

๐Ÿ“Œย Let them know the qualities you admire in them.

๐Ÿ“Œย Acknowledge what they’ve done to help you become a better person.

๐Ÿ“Œย Explain about how different your life would be had you never met them. .

Lastly, tell them to spread the same message to one of their loved ones, friends or family.ย ๐Ÿ‘ฅ

Let this become a chain reaction of appreciation and gratitude!ย ๐Ÿ™

While we all get caught up in our everyday lives, staying busy and working hard, it’s easy to forget the Little Things, the connections that make us all human.ย โค๏ธ

Some people in this world have not heard appreciation from someone in a very long time. Perhaps you’ll be the first one to make it happen!ย ๐Ÿ˜Š

Why Not EVERY Voice in Your Head Matters!

“How could I be so stupid?!”ย ๐Ÿ˜ซ

“Why do I keep making the same mistake?!”ย ๐Ÿ˜ซ

“Why can’t I do anything right?!”ย ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

These are things I use to say to myself!ย ๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™‚๏ธ

Did you know we are our harshest self critics? There’s no one out there that can criticize and cause us as much mental stress as the critic within our minds!ย ๐Ÿง 

Why does this voice exist?!

๐Ÿ“ย It is the echoes of other people’s opinions about you. You believe these opinions, no matter how empty they are, have some element of truth to them.

๐Ÿ“ย It is when the expectations you hold for yourself are not met. Your survival brain doesn’t like change/uncertainty.

But here’s the #1 thing I want you to remember: IT’S JUST A VOICE!ย ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ

๐ŸŒŸย You don’t have to identify with every voice that pops into your head.ย ๐ŸŒŸ

Throughout the day you’re going to have many voices come into your mind. But the best part is you don’t have to embrace every voice as fact.ย ๐Ÿ˜

If there’s anything meditation taught me, the mind is like the weather: it’s always changing from one condition to the next.ย ๐Ÿง˜โ€โ™‚๏ธ

๐Ÿง ย Allow the Voice of the Critic to speak in your mind. Accept the criticism unconditionally (be indifferent). And pretty soon you will hear less and less of the Voice.ย ๐Ÿง 

In other words, there’s plenty more voices in your mind worth holding on to. Just not this one!ย โค๏ธ

Why the Sky is a REMINDER!

A couple days ago I was out on my morning run. As usual I woke up early, got my clothes on, put my earbuds in, and was off!ย ๐Ÿ’จ

But on this particular day I caught a glimpse of the morning sky, and I fell into a trance. Of course I had caught glimpses of the sky many times before, but today stood out.ย ๐Ÿ‘€

A thought crossed my mind: “When was the last time I actually looked up at the sky, I mean REALLY looked at the sky?”ย ๐Ÿค”

Have you ever taken a moment to just pause…and simply appreciate what is all around us?ย ๐Ÿ˜Š

๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธย “It’s just a sky, Donald! It’s everywhere! It’s nothing special!”ย ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ

It’s not just about the sky.

๐ŸŒŽย It’s a reminder of the planet we all live on, the only planet human beings inhabit.

โ˜๏ธย It’s a reminder of the clouds, how they are ever-changing each and every day.

โ˜€๏ธย It’s a reminder of the sun, that without its light our whole civilization would perish.

๐ŸŒŒย It’s a reminder of our universe, that we live on but a mere speck of what is estimated to have billions of other galaxies besides our own.

There are so many things we take for granted each day which grant us the very gift of life.ย ๐ŸŽ

And THAT is what the sky reminded me of that day!ย ๐Ÿ˜Š

So whenever you feel you have a big problem in your life, or you simply want to be reminded of a greater perspective, I encourage you: look up. Because it’s always available to us!ย โค๏ธ