โค๏ธ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐!!! โค๏ธ
What does today’s holiday mean to you?
๐ A day to share love with the people in your life?
๐ A day to spend time with that “special someone”?
๐ A day to remind you of the fact you’re still single?
๐๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐ง๐ฌ๐ฐ๐๐ซ ๐ข๐ฌ #๐, ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐๐ฌ๐ฉ๐๐๐ข๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ!
For all my single friends out there, me being single myself: no need to fret! ๐
What if I told you, me at age 29, I’ve NEVER been in a relationship?! ๐ฑ
“๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐!!!”โ
Don’t get me wrong, I used to DESPERATELY want one myself! Back in high school, I was on ALL the dating sites and apps: Plenty of Fish, OkCupid, Tinder, etc. I had them ALL covered! ๐
๐ฃ๏ธ “๐๐ฉ๐บ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฅ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ข ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด๐ฉ๐ช๐ฑ ๐ด๐ฐ ๐ฃ๐ข๐ฅ, ๐๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ข๐ญ๐ฅ?!” ๐ฃ๏ธ
At the time I didn’t really know, nor did it ever cross my mind to really ask myself why. All I knew was I simply wanted to be in one! ๐คทโโ๏ธ
I wanted to find that “special someone” that would make me happier. ๐
๐ BUT THEREIN WAS THE PROBLEM! ๐
๐ ๐ก๐๐ฅ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐๐ฑ๐ฉ๐๐๐ญ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐ข๐ง ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ ๐จ๐ง๐๐ ๐ ๐ ๐จ๐ญ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐จ ๐ ๐ซ๐๐ฅ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ ๐ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ ๐ข๐๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐๐๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ ๐ก๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ข๐๐ซ.
โค๏ธ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐!!! โค๏ธ
Often we’re taught, especially through romantic stories, that if we’re in a relationship with that “special someone” the heavens will somehow magically open and all will live happily ever after. ๐
It’s quite a romantic way of looking at relationships…but as a teenager I didn’t understand that that was NOT reflective of reality! ๐
And I get why we keep believing this idea: We tend to only see the POSITIVE moments of a couple’s relationship, on display in our social lives and for all to see on social media. ๐ผ๏ธ
We typically don’t hear about the negative or challenging moments that happen in relationships. Who wants to hear that negativity, right?! ๐
๐๐’๐ซ๐ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ง๐ญ๐๐ฌ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ. ๐๐’๐ซ๐ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฏ๐ข๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ฌ๐จ๐ง. ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฆ๐๐ญ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ซ๐๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ณ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฅ๐๐ญ๐ญ๐๐ซ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ฆ๐๐ค๐๐ฌ ๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐ -๐ญ๐๐ซ๐ฆ ๐ซ๐๐ฅ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ข๐๐ฅ๐. โค๏ธ
But I didn’t know all this as a teenager! So, as a naive teenager, WHY WOULDN’T I want to be in a relationship? They seemed to be nothing but smooth sailing! They looked like mindless fun! ๐
But it was around 4 years ago that I finally had this big change in perspective around relationships. I made the unanimous decision to UNINSTALL and DELETE ALL the dating apps I was on! ๐ฒ
๐ฃ๏ธ “๐๐๐ข๐ญ, ๐ฐ๐ก๐ฒ?!” ๐ฃ๏ธ
Of all the countless hours I had spent on those apps, I had finally become drained of my willingness to keep searching for that “special someone”. ๐
If I could take the ratio of time I spent browsing those apps to the amount of time I actually spent talking with someone, it would be like 500 to 1! ๐
โค๏ธ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐!!! โค๏ธ
Ultimately, my excessive searching was a time-waster! And the worst part of all: I kept making myself feel worse each time I logged off the apps when I had no luck. Each time I blamed MYSELF for it! ๐ฅ
โ ๏ธ ๐ ๐๐๐ฏ๐๐ฅ๐จ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ก๐๐๐ข๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ซ๐ ๐ ๐ฐ๐๐ฌ ๐ฎ๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ซ๐๐ข๐ง๐๐จ๐ซ๐๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฆ๐ฒ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐: “๐๐จ ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐ฐ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐๐ฅ๐ค ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฆ๐! ๐ ๐๐๐๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ง ๐ ๐๐ข๐ ๐๐๐๐จ๐ซ๐!” โ ๏ธ
…And then holidays like Valentine’s Day came around every year. They would only FURTHER reinforce a cycle of self-pity that I wasn’t in a relationship. And it SUCKED! ๐ซ
So, you may be asking: what was the “final straw” for me to make such a drastic change?
โค๏ธ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐!!! โค๏ธ
Since my teenage years, I’ve come to greater realizations about why I wanted to be in a relationship in the first place:
โ ๏ธ I thought being in a relationship was the answer to making me happy. But it wasn’t.
โ ๏ธ I thought by being in a relationship, I could seek recognition and validation from others. But I wouldn’t.
โ ๏ธ I thought that if I was in a relationship, it would fill the void of loneliness I felt inside myself. But it wouldn’t.
As awful as it sounds, ๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฐ ๐ ๐ซ๐๐ฅ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ ๐๐ฌ ๐ ๐๐จ๐ซ๐ฆ ๐จ๐ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ญ๐ฒ, ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ซ ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ฌ๐จ๐ง ๐๐๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ ๐ฉ๐จ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐ญ๐ฎ๐ญ๐ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ ๐ญ๐จ๐ฒ ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ค๐ ๐ฆ๐ ๐๐๐๐ฅ ๐๐๐ญ๐ญ๐๐ซ.๐งธ
But people aren’t objects! And owning more objects won’t make you fulfilled in the long-term! ๐ฏ
๐จ ๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ณ๐๐ ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ฐ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ ๐ข๐ง ๐ ๐ซ๐๐ฅ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ ๐ฐ๐๐ซ๐ ๐๐๐ซ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ง ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐. ๐๐ฒ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐ฐ๐๐ฌ ๐ฅ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ “๐๐” ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ “๐๐”. ๐จ
How many of us get into a relationship primarily for selfish reasons? I challenge you to seriously think about it! ๐ฏ
So, in sharing my story with you all, I hope you see a part of yourself in this. Sometimes what we’re actually looking for is not that “special someone” but actually something much closer to home. ๐
โค๏ธ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐…๐๐ ๐๐๐!!! โค๏ธ
๐ ๐๐จ๐ง’๐ญ ๐๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐๐ญ ๐ ๐ซ๐๐ฅ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐ ๐๐ข๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ. ๐๐๐๐๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐๐๐ง๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ ๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐๐จ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ก๐๐ฏ๐. ๐
Again, for all my single friends out there: no need to fret!
โค๏ธ Relationships are not all sunshine and rainbows. We often don’t see what goes on behind-the-scenes, the ongoing commitment required from both people, or the negative moments which happen in them.
โค๏ธ Inner happiness and fulfillment has to come from YOU first. Fill your cup up first so then you can easily share it with a future lover. If you can’t love yourself first, you can’t expect it to come from someone else, because you’re going to be waiting forever.
โค๏ธ Self-love is one of the greatest gifts you can give. The only person you’re with 100% of your life…is Yourself! So learn to be comfortable in your own company.
โค๏ธ Today is an opportunity for you to change your perspective on how you see relationships. They are not a place you go to GET but a place you go to GIVE, and not being in one DOESN’T determine your self-worth.
Make today a day for you to give love in whatever way you know best! For me, writing this post to share with all of you is one of them! ๐
Please SHARE this post with anyone who needs to hear this today. Truly, you’re not alone! โค๏ธ