Why You Should BE OFFENDED!

🤬 BE OFFENDED! 🤬

If you’re offended, you know what: that’s FANTASTIC! 😲

I’m not kidding, being offended is AWESOME! 💯

🗣 “HAVE YOU GONE MAD, DONALD?!” 🗣

No, seriously! I want you to find ways to be offended! BUT hear me out! 👂

Why the hell am I even saying that? That sounds ridiculous, right?! 🤨

🌟 Because when you feel offended, you have the opportunity to ask yourself: “Why?” 🌟

📖 “What upsets people is not things themselves but their judgments about the things.” ~ Epictetus 📖

Often times we are NOT aware why we are offended. Often times we are not even aware what judgments we are making about people, things, and situations in our lives. We simply just…be offended. 🤷‍♂️

Let’s put an end to that! 🛑

🌟 The fact we don’t understand our emotions is the very reason we need to feel them, so we can understand what’s going on beneath the surface. 🌟

Ask yourself: “WHY???” 🗣

📍 Did someone say something that went against your beliefs?

📍 Did a situation remind you of a past event where you felt hurt?

📍 Did you feel powerless and your body went into defense mode?

I can’t answer those questions for you. But the better you understand yourself and what offends you, the better you can handle those stressful responses in the future. 😄

Rather than be empowered through being offended, you can now be empowered through self-awareness! 💪

🌟 The answers to your “Why” are the reasons to your suffering. 🌟

I’m NOT saying be offended for the sake of being offended. We’ve just been missing this second step for far too long! 👏

I’m saying be offended…AND let it be your gateway towards introspection, towards a better understanding of yourself of your beliefs, your values, and your sense of identity. 👤

So please: Be offended…AND ask yourself “Why?” Just don’t forget the second step, okay?! ❤️

The HOLE (Short Story)

🕳️ THE HOLE 🕳️

There once was a man who fell into a dirt hole in the ground. 🕳️

He didn’t know how it happened or why it happened. All he knew was he was now in a hole. Freaking out, the man attempted to scramble back up to the hole’s surface. 😨

He grasped at the sides of the dirt hole around him, frantically trying to grab anything he could to pull him upwards. ✊

His heart pounding, his hands continued to slide in the dirt. His pulling at the walls not only wasn’t working, it only served to enlarge the hole he was already in! 🕳️

Eventually the cold hard truth started to set in with the man. He may not ever be able to get out of this hole. 😨

Starting to feel helpless, the man eventually released his hands from the dirt walls and let out a sigh of resignation. He surrendered. 😞

💭 “There’s no way out…I’m stuck here…and that’s the truth.” 💭

As hard as it was for him to accept it, he soon embraced the idea this hole was definitively going to his new home… 🏠

A period of time passed. The man started to find ways to occupy his mind. He played Tic-Tac-Toe in the dirt. He made drawings with his finger on the walls of the hole. He even started to take a liking to eating the dirt as a means of food! 😲

💭 “You know what? This place is not as bad as I thought? It’s quiet, it’s calm. As weird as it sounds…I’m really starting to like it here!” 💭

Despite not knowing how or why he found himself in the hole in the first place, it didn’t matter anymore. He now felt comfortable there. 🛌

💭 “It is what it is. I can’t do anything about it.” 💭

But it was only as soon as he had started to find peace living in the hole did one day he hear footsteps at the surface. 👣

At the surface, a passerby peered into the hole and saw the man. Looking confused, the passerby shouted down to the man.

🗣️ “YOU’RE IN A HOLE! GET OUT OF THE HOLE!” 🗣️

The man, who was sitting down in a fetal position, slowly looked up at the passerby. All he could think to do was to scoff at the man who was only stating the obvious.

“YOU THINK I HAVEN’T TRIED?!” He shouted back to the passerby, slightly irritated. 😠

The passerby again looked confused. He shouted down again.

🗣️ “LISTEN TO ME: YOU CAN GET OUT OF THE HOLE!” 🗣️

But the man was not having any of it! He was started to feel really angry at this passerby. With a swish of his hand at the passerby, he scoffed. 😠

🗣️ “NO SERIOUSLY!” the passerby shouted once more. “I CAN TELL YOU HOW TO GET OUT!” 🗣️

At this point the man had had enough! Really angry, he shouted up to the passerby: “LEAVE ME ALONE!” 😡

The passerby’s face had turned from confusion to match the man’s angry face.

🤬 “FINE! ROT IN THERE ALL YOU WANT! BUT YOU’RE CHOOSING TO BE IN THAT HOLE!” 🤬

And the passerby stormed off. 👣

The man was shocked at the passerby’s words. “CHOOSING?!” He sprang to his feet and screamed towards the heavens.

🤬 “YOU DON’T KNOW ME!

YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT’S IT’S LIKE BEING ME!

YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE BEING DOWN HERE ALL THE TIME!

HOW DARE YOU SAY I ‘CHOOSE’ TO BE HERE!

I CAN’T GET OUT OF THIS GODDAMN HOLE, AND THAT’S A GODDAMN FACT!

DON’T YOU DARE SAY I ‘CAN’!” 🤬

And there was a moment of silence. Not a sound came from the surface. The man’s body, stiff as a nail, started to tremble. He had been holding his breath the whole time. He finally let out another sigh of resignation, and he collapsed to the ground in tears. 😭

The feelings of helplessness had returned. He instantly started to feel remorse for the things he had just said. 😟

💭 “Because of me, the passerby is gone now! It’s all my fault!” 💭

While a part of him was just getting comfortable accepting his predicament, a small part of him still had a desire to get out of the hole. And the passerby had sparked the emotions in him. 💥

But unfortunately, his anger had camouflaged his cry for help. 😢

As he continued to cry, he started to hear footsteps again. Quickly wiping away his tears out of shame, he saw the passerby had returned. 👤

The passerby squatted down to his knees and the tone in his voice had drastically shifted. In a much softer tone:

💬 “Who told you you couldn’t get out of this hole?” 💬

The man didn’t know how to respond. He was honestly confused, because as a matter of fact no one had told him this. 🤔

He had told this to himself. 👤

The passerby grabbed the edge of the hole and tossed his body feet-first into it. 💨

The man was shocked! It was a tight fit, but both he and the passerby managed to share enough space at the bottom of the hole to fit.

💬 “So, now we’re in this hole together,” the passerby continued in his soft tone “and if you want to get out I’ll SHOW you how.” 💬

The man looked down. He felt ashamed. Again, his mind was conflicted between the place he had just started to make home and his desire to escape. ↔️

The man replied faintly: “You said I was ‘choosing’ to be down here.” 😞

The passerby leaned back against the dirt wall and let out a deep sigh. “I was frustrated. For some reason, I just assumed you knew there were ways of getting out of here. But I see now you actually don’t, and I’m sorry.” 👐

The man let out a deep sigh of his own as the passerby leaned in towards him.

💬 “Listen, I’ve fallen in MANY holes before, some even deeper than this one! And if there’s one thing I continue to remember with every single hole, it’s that there’s always ways out of them.

I’m not going to TELL you how like I said before. Because since we’re both down in this hole now, I get to SHOW you how!” 💬 And the passerby started to smile.

The man tilted his head up at the passerby and managed to crack a smile. He couldn’t understand why, but suddenly he felt more open to the passerby’s assistance than he did moments before. Perhaps it was also due to the fact the passerby was now in the same hole as him. 😅

💭 He understands I’m not crazy. 💭

And thus the passerby started to teach the man the tools to getting out of the hole. 👨‍🏫

At first, the tools the passerby taught to the man sounded like nothing more than common sense! At many points, the man couldn’t help but start to laugh at his dumbfoundedness!

💭 That’s so simple! Why didn’t I think of that before?! 💭

He soon realized that contrary to popular belief, common sense isn’t common! And his solution for getting out of the hole in the first place was not very practical. 💯

But with these tools no longer labeled as “common sense” but as “essentials” in his mind, the man did find his way out of the hole and back onto the surface! 😄

As he took his first steps on the surface, he was suddenly reminded of the amazing life he lived before falling into the hole. He had been in the hole for so long, with nothing to remind him of his past life, he had forgotten how great it felt to embrace life. ☀️

The man turned to the passerby. “I cannot thank you enough,” he said on the verge of tears. ❤️

The passerby smiled. “I appreciate it, but remember: I gave you the tools. You were the one who decided to use them.” 😃

The man smiled. And the passerby leaned in for one final word.

“And there’s still many more people in holes that need to be helped!” 🙌

#MentalHealthAwareness

Social Media: Why It’s OKAY to Not Be Okay! ❤️

❤️ IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY!!! ❤️

…Except on social media where you must be flawless and show only your successes to gain social capital with your online peers! 😉

📢 “SIGNIFICANCE, GET YOUR SIGNIFICANCE HERE 🎯!

ONLY COSTS:

– 1 AESTHETICALLY PLEASING MODELING PHOTO 🖼️

– 1 ARBITRARY MOTIVATIONAL CAPTION 🔠

– 5,000 FACEBOOK FRIENDS YOU’VE NEVER MET 🤷‍♂️

– AND LOTS AND LOTS OF EMOJIS 😅❤️💯📚😱🤖🐈🤪!” 📢

Okay, but serious talk now! ✋

I’m guilty of doing this too! Who DOESN’T want to feel appreciated and validated in their lives? 🤗

Even for the individual who claims they don’t want Significance, to some extent no matter how small they still do. 👍 They may even be getting their Significance need by ACTING like they don’t need Significance! 😅

I’m reminded of the words of William James: “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” 👤

So yes, we all need Significance! The only difference is in how we prioritize this need in our lives. ⚖️

If Significance is at the top of our list, we’ll make it a mental priority to find ways to be in the spotlight. 🥇 Regardless of what we say or do, whether we play the Victim or Victor Card, our primary motivations are to be at the center of attention! 📸

(ENTER SOCIAL MEDIA TO HELP US WITH THIS!) 😉

However, if our Significance need is near the bottom of our list, we won’t mind remaining in the background. Our primary motivation is not about “being seen”. It may still feel nice, but it’s not very important. 🤷‍♂️

(You may also be very likely NOT on social media! 🤣)

❤️ IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY!!! ❤️

Alas, I have fallen into the same traps online I openly critique 🙋‍♂️. I DO like to focus on sharing the positives on my profile. I DO like to display more of my successes than my failures. 👍

I think it’s quite easy for us all to do this on a platform where we’re 100% in control of what we want to share with others. 💯

On a platform which can provide Significance to us on a global scale, why would anyone be inclined to share their common humanity, not the least of which includes the not-too-sexy details of our lives? There’s a safe bet it wouldn’t benefit us, right? 👎

So in this respect, we’ve all created artificial versions of ourselves online, some more honest than others, and some not even real at all! 🤖

Think of the social media profile where you can’t distinguish whether the person you’re messaging with is genuine or a person who’s only developing rapport with you because you are their next potential business customer. 🤑

Unfortunately, we are limited to the online realities with which each person presents us with 💻.

🚘 It doesn’t matter if a person is actually rich; they can pose next to a sports car and give us the impression they are.

🙌 It doesn’t matter if a person is actually generous; they can take a photo at a charity event and give us lip service that they are.

👤 It doesn’t matter if a person is actually the person they claim to be; they can present you with limited segments of their life that reinforce their claims.

From the Upanishads: “We are like the dreamer who dreams and then lives inside the dream.” 💭

❤️ IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY!!! ❤️

So while in real life we’re limited to how we know others, it’s not at all to the same extent online. Online we’re required to fill in far more holes about other people, compared to talking directly with them face-to-face. 👫

➡️ So no matter how hard we try, we can’t escape the fact that social media doesn’t place an equivalence to the mundanities of real life connections, ones which can be quite messy, ones which take a long time to develop into meaningful relationships, ones which someone’s personality cannot so easily be hidden as behind their social media profile. ⬅️

👏 “DONALD! 👏 SIGNIFICANCE! 👏 SOCIAL MEDIA! 👏 RELATIONSHIPS! 👏 WHAT’S 👏 YOUR 👏 POINT?!” 👏

My point is the quote I’ve repeated 3 times and will now repeat for a 4th time…😅

❤️ IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY!!! ❤️

Once we’ve logged off our social medias, quit out of our videogames, turned off our TVs, closed our books, and awoke from our fantasy worlds, what is left? Our real lives.

📍 We’re faced once again with the reality we’re still fundamentally unhappy.

📍 We’re faced once again with the reality that life still has down moments, no matter how much we wish they didn’t exist.

📍 We’re faced once again with the reality that life can be REALLY HARD at times.

Online it’s easy to see our friends and compare ourselves to them. It was a big problem for me for a while too! I saw where my friends were traveling, I saw how happy they looked, I saw them sharing all the achievements they made…and it made me wonder: “Is there something wrong with me?” 😔

It made me hold myself to a standard of perfection which could never be met!

So before this paradigm negatively affects another person, I write this status to BREAK the paradigm. 💥

🚨 Social Media is NOT real life and it never will be!

🚨 NO ONE will ever be 100% real online (not even me)!

🚨 You rarely will see people share their failures online! But EVERY PERSON still has their share whether they admit it or not (again, me too)!

🚨 Your self-worth NO LONGER has to be dependent comparing yourself to others! We’re all on individual paths; I want you to create your own path and dare to be original!

Last, and most importantly:

❤️ IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY!!! ❤️

I say this because your emotions will ALWAYS be a part of your life. I give you FULL PERMISSION to accept the emotions you’re currently feeling! 💯

If meditation has taught me anything, it’s that acceptance of whatever you feel is the 1st step to effectively working with your emotions. But I’ll save those details for a future post…🧘‍♂️

I at times am conflicted each time I post online. While I aim to keep my social media real, I also acknowledge I may simultaneously be contributing to the very problems I criticize. An eye for an eye! 👀

But if what I post is worth anything, it’s that at least 1 person reads them and says: “I’m glad I read this today!” ❤️

For many of us that use social media mindlessly, what if we collectively starting using it as a Force for Good? ✊

Think of Mr. Fred Rogers, who wasn’t fond of the mindless entertainment kids were getting on TV, so he decided to use the platform to entertain AND teach life lessons. How many of you fondly remember “Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood”? 🙋‍♂️

No, I’m not saying we all need to be Mr. Rogers for Social Media! 😅 What I’m saying is what if we all started using this platform for something more meaningful, more heartfelt, and a bit less for Significance and Sales? I wonder how much of a difference we could make! 🌎

Even behind a computer screen, we still have the potential to be an example to inspire others to be better people. Mr. Rogers still did behind a television screen. 😉

It all starts with your next post…❤️

And for those less inclined to read this lengthy post, on a platform where visuals and clickbait are primary drivers to grab your attention, here’s just an aesthetically pleasing modeling photo for your eyes to enjoy! 😜

Why I WON’T! (PERSONAL)

👊 I WON’T! 👊
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I can be another person sharing modeling photos with little reason other than to be a pretty face. But I won’t! 
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I can give you the impression my life is perfect and flawless. But I won’t! 
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I can lie and present you a false portrayal about who I stand for as a person, all while having ulterior motives. But I won’t! 
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Sometimes I wonder if I’m one of the few online who shares these feelings of responsibility, this weight I carry every time I create and share a post to help others. 🤔
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What’s missing online today is DEPTH! What’s missing is HONESTY, TRANSPARENCY, and AUTHENTICITY! We have plenty of STYLE, but far less SUBSTANCE! We have plenty of pretty pictures, but less meaning to enjoy them with. We have many online friends, but fewer we could say we’re deeply connected with. And I say this all with so much love! 
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🌟 What we need online is less posing and more people of example.🌟
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I can’t imagine the emotions a teenager feels when they see a modeling photo like my own, sees hundreds of other people doing the same, and feeling a sense of inferiority that stacks upon them day-after-day. “Why can’t I just have a life like theirs?!” 😞
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I never want someone to feel that way. My life is definitely not perfect, and I’ll never claim it to be. 👎
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THE TRUTH:
📍 I use filters on most of my photos.
📍 I pose for most of my photos.
📍 If someone pretends to act perfect online, they’re lying.
📍 If someone pretends that hard work is not required to do what they’re doing online, they’re also lying.
📍 Behind this post lies a human being who’s been working hard on his social media for over a year.
📍 You don’t ever have to feel you need to be Me. I’m just a person with ideas you can take and leave as you please.
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If I’ve ever come across as such in the past, I genuinely apologize. While I don’t always share everything there is to know about me, while I tend to share more about what’s good rather than what’s bad in my life, what I will continue to do for you all is keep being a Force for the Substance I continue to see missing. 👍
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I aim to fill this void which is echoing directly into people’s hearts. And yes, perhaps that also means more “longer” posts in the future haha! 😂
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🌟 We need more people who will help us think about our own lives and less about theirs. 🌟
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It’s something which social media may not want but social media needs. Everyone may not like it, but I’m not here for everyone to like me. Much love to you all! ❤️ #TranscendLabels

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