Why You Should BE OFFENDED!

🤬 BE OFFENDED! 🤬

If you’re offended, you know what: that’s FANTASTIC! 😲

I’m not kidding, being offended is AWESOME! 💯

🗣 “HAVE YOU GONE MAD, DONALD?!” 🗣

No, seriously! I want you to find ways to be offended! BUT hear me out! 👂

Why the hell am I even saying that? That sounds ridiculous, right?! 🤨

🌟 Because when you feel offended, you have the opportunity to ask yourself: “Why?” 🌟

📖 “What upsets people is not things themselves but their judgments about the things.” ~ Epictetus 📖

Often times we are NOT aware why we are offended. Often times we are not even aware what judgments we are making about people, things, and situations in our lives. We simply just…be offended. 🤷‍♂️

Let’s put an end to that! 🛑

🌟 The fact we don’t understand our emotions is the very reason we need to feel them, so we can understand what’s going on beneath the surface. 🌟

Ask yourself: “WHY???” 🗣

📍 Did someone say something that went against your beliefs?

📍 Did a situation remind you of a past event where you felt hurt?

📍 Did you feel powerless and your body went into defense mode?

I can’t answer those questions for you. But the better you understand yourself and what offends you, the better you can handle those stressful responses in the future. 😄

Rather than be empowered through being offended, you can now be empowered through self-awareness! 💪

🌟 The answers to your “Why” are the reasons to your suffering. 🌟

I’m NOT saying be offended for the sake of being offended. We’ve just been missing this second step for far too long! 👏

I’m saying be offended…AND let it be your gateway towards introspection, towards a better understanding of yourself of your beliefs, your values, and your sense of identity. 👤

So please: Be offended…AND ask yourself “Why?” Just don’t forget the second step, okay?! ❤️

Why We NEED Competence!

Think of the person who is so confident they know how to do something…but then fails miserably when they actually do it! 😅

But think of the person who is so skilled on how to actually do something, yet they doubt their abilities to do it… 😨

So the confident person takes the competent person’s place! 😲

🌟 It’s important we remember Confidence and Competence are NOT the same thing. 🌟

Confidence is the belief in yourself to do something. Competence is in your actual ability to do something. ↔️

You can believe you know how to drive a car, yet simultaneously be horrible at it! You can believe you know how to be a leader, yet simultaneously have no one follow you! 😲

It’s important we remember this distinction, because it’s easy for us to be attracted to charismatic and confident leaders that under the surface can be completely incompetent. 💯

How often does this happen? How often do we appoint leaders based on their confidence and how they make us feel, rather than based upon their competence or character? 🤔

Philosopher Bertrand Russell once wrote in an essay in 1933 in response to the Rise of Nazi Germany: “The trouble with the modern world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.” ✍️

This quote always reminds me to stay humble, to stay open and remember I’m not flawless. I could in fact be wrong about many things. This quote is not only my reminder but a crucial one at that, when we remember what happened in the following decade with World War 2. 🩸

So this is my message to the Competent individuals out there…⬇️

There are people far less qualified getting the jobs you want! 👍

There are people far less competent in leadership positions you’d be amazing in! 👍

It’s not because they’re exceptionally talented. It’s not because they necessarily put in a ton of hard work. It’s because they’re confident in themselves, and people tend to follow confident people. 💯

If you step up, we could not only have Confident leaders but ones who are BOTH Confident AND Competent! You got this! 😄❤️

The #1 Valentine You CAN’T Forget!

❤️ YOUR MOST IMPORTANT VALENTINE!!! ❤️

What does today’s holiday mean to you?

💓 A time to share love with the people in your life?!

💘 A day to spend time with your significant other?!

💔 A holiday to remind you of the fact you’re “still single” and really need to be in a relationship?!

If your answer is #3, this message is especially for you. But this message is also for everyone! For all my single friends out there, me being a single man myself: I encourage you today not to fret! 😁

What if I told you, at age 28, I’ve NEVER been in a relationship…😱?!

“BLASPHEMY!!!” ❌

But when I was in high school, I was DESPERATELY searching for one! 🔎

And not just in school; I was on ALL the dating sites and apps: Plenty of Fish, OkCupid, Tinder, etc. Trust me, I had them ALL covered! 😎

🗣️ “Why did you want a relationship so bad, Donald?!” 🗣️

At the time I didn’t really know, nor did it even cross my mind to ask myself why. All I knew was I just simply “wanted” to be in a relationship. I wanted to find that special someone who would make me happier. 🤷‍♂️

🌟 But therein laid the problem of my predicament: the expectation I held in my mind that a relationship would somehow “make me happier”. 🌟

❤️ YOUR MOST IMPORTANT VALENTINE!!! ❤️

Often we’re taught, especially in lots of romantic stories, that if we’re in a relationship, that somehow finding that “special someone”, will open up the heavens and you’ll have found the end of the rainbow. 😊

It’s quite romantic…but it’s not reflective of reality! 😅

It’s understandable we keep believing this idea: We tend to only see the POSITIVE moments in a couple’s relationship, on display in our social lives for all to see. 🖼️

We typically won’t hear about the negative or challenging moments that happen in relationships, what can go on behind-the-scenes. Who wants to hear about that, right?! 👍

So me, as a naive teenager, WHY WOULDN’T I want to be in a relationship? Things seem to be nothing but smooth sailing! It looks like fun! 😍

But it was around 3 years ago I actually made a big decision in my perspective regarding relationships. In fact, those dates sites I mentioned earlier, I UNINSTALLED and DELETED ALL my accounts off them! 😲

🗣️ “Why?!” 🗣️

Of all the countless hours I spent on those apps, I had finally become drained of my willingness to keep searching for a significant other. If I could take the ratio of time I spent browsing these apps to the amount of time I actually spent talking with someone, it would be like 500 to 1! 👎

❤️ YOUR MOST IMPORTANT VALENTINE!!! ❤️

Ultimately, my excessive searching was a time-waster! And the funniest part of it all: I made myself feel worse every time I logged off the app when I had no luck, blaming MYSELF for it! 😥

⚠️ I developed this bad habit, and I unintentionally reinforced to myself: “No one wants to talk to me! I feel even lonelier than I did before!” ⚠️

…And then holidays like Valentine’s Day came around each year. They would only FURTHER reinforce my self-pity that I wasn’t in a relationship. It SUCKED! 😫

So you may be asking: what was the “final straw” for you to make such a drastic change?

❤️ YOUR MOST IMPORTANT VALENTINE!!! ❤️

I had come to greater realizations about why I was “wanting” to be in a relationship:

⚠️ I believed being in a relationship was the answer to making me happier. ⚠️

⚠️ I believed that by being in a relationship, I could seek recognition and validation from others. ⚠️

⚠️ I believed that if I was in a relationship, someone would fill the void I felt inside myself. ⚠️

As awful as it sounds, I saw a relationship as a form of property, the other person merely being a poor substitute for a toy I thought would make me feel better. 🧸

But people aren’t objects! 💯 And owning material goods don’t make you fulfilled in the long-term! 💯

🚨 I realized my intentions for wanting to be in a relationship were far more SELFISH than SELFLESS. My intention was less about “WE” and more about “ME”. 🚨

How many of us get into a relationship primarily for selfish reasons? We need to seriously think about this! 💯

So in sharing my story with you all, I hope you see that sometimes what we’re actually looking for is not a relationship at all, but something much closer to home. 🏠

❤️ YOUR MOST IMPORTANT VALENTINE!!! ❤️

🌟 Don’t forget to develop a relationship with Yourself. 🌟

So for all my single friends out there, do not fret! Let me remind you:

❤️ Relationships are not all sunshine and rainbows. We often don’t see what goes on behind-the-scenes, the ongoing commitment that’s required, or the negative moments that can happen in one.

❤️ Inner happiness and fulfillment has to come from YOU first. Fill up your cup so you can easily share the rest with a future lover. If you can’t love yourself first, you can’t expect it to come from others. You’ll be waiting forever…

❤️ Self-love is one of the greatest gifts you can give. The only person you’re with 100% of your life…is Yourself. Learn to be comfortable in your own company.

❤️ Today is an opportunity for you to change your perspective about how you see relationships. They are not a means to an end, and not being in one DOES NOT mean you aren’t loved.

Make today a day for you to give love in whatever way you know best! For me, writing this post to share with you all is one of them! 😁

❤️ YOUR MOST IMPORTANT VALENTINE STARTS WITH YOURSELF!!! ❤️

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SHARE with someone who needs to hear this this Valentine’s Day! ❤️

Why Blaming HURTS You!

By default, blaming disempowers you. 💔

Every time you blame, you implicitly tell yourself: “I am not in control.” 👐

And the more you do it, the less you’ll feel in control. 👎

It’s why blaming is so easy. It’s so much easier for us to take what we feel and any responsibilities off ourselves and place it onto people and things. We live in a CULTure of blame. 👇

Read the latest political drama for example and you’ll see what I mean! 😅

✋”But wait Donald! Some things are DEFINITELY not my fault! ❌ If someone’s cruel to me and I’ve done nothing wrong, why can’t I blame them?! I’m definitely not responsible for THAT!” 💯

I’m going to use the words of Scott Harris as he said it beautifully:

“Taking responsibility doesn’t mean it’s my fault. 🙋‍♂️

Taking responsibility doesn’t mean I caused it. 😣

Taking responsibility is about responding to the situation with everything I’ve got.” 💪

To stop ourselves from blaming is about taking our power back in a situation. It’s about being RESPONSE-ABLE, that no matter what your environment does that you are still in control. 👊

So yes, we can blame others.🤷‍♂️ …But if we’re going to take control over our lives, if we’re not going to let our environments dictate how we feel, if we’re going to take the reins over our emotions, blame is NEVER going to get us there. ❤️