Why Not EVERY Voice in Your Head Matters!

“How could I be so stupid?!” 😫

“Why do I keep making the same mistake?!” 😫

“Why can’t I do anything right?!” 😩

These are things I use to say to myself! 🙋‍♂️

Did you know we are our harshest self critics? There’s no one out there that can criticize and cause us as much mental stress as the critic within our minds! 🧠

Why does this voice exist?!

📍 It is the echoes of other people’s opinions about you. You believe these opinions, no matter how empty they are, have some element of truth to them.

📍 It is when the expectations you hold for yourself are not met. Your survival brain doesn’t like change/uncertainty.

But here’s the #1 thing I want you to remember: IT’S JUST A VOICE! 🗣️

🌟 You don’t have to identify with every voice that pops into your head. 🌟

Throughout the day you’re going to have many voices come into your mind. But the best part is you don’t have to embrace every voice as fact. 😁

If there’s anything meditation taught me, the mind is like the weather: it’s always changing from one condition to the next. 🧘‍♂️

🧠 Allow the Voice of the Critic to speak in your mind. Accept the criticism unconditionally (be indifferent). And pretty soon you will hear less and less of the Voice. 🧠

In other words, there’s plenty more voices in your mind worth holding on to. Just not this one! ❤️

Why “How” Matters MORE Than “What”!

The words I’m saying to you now are the words I wish my younger self would’ve been told. 🗣️

Sure, he was told at times to stop caring about what other people thought. He was told at times to stop people pleasing. 🛑

But he didn’t know how…😫

🗣️ “What do you mean ‘how’? You just do it, Donald! Simple as that!” 🗣️

I understand your perspective, and if it works for you I’m very happy it does. That’s great! But I’ll share with you another perspective I’ve also learned. 📖

Sometimes what people need the most is NOT hearing the solutions. In fact, these people have often heard the solutions MULTIPLE times! 😲

No, what they actually need is a compass to navigate themselves, their emotions and their intellect, towards the solutions. 🧭

In other words, they don’t need the answers to the “What?” They need the answers to the “How?” 🙌

In other words, telling someone to stop caring what others think is far easier said than done. The problem is you’re telling someone What to do, not How to do it. 👍

You can tell a person all you want to fish. But if they’ve never been taught how to fish, how do you expect them to know? 🤔

🌟 You can’t expect someone to know what they don’t know. 🌟

I wish I could’ve told my younger self the Hows of messages like the one above. I wish I could’ve shared with him this How, that inner happiness and fulfillment matters more than other people’s opinion of him. 💬

I’ll leave you with one statement, however blunt, that reminds me how silly it is to worry so much about what others think. Much love! ❤️

🤯 If you worry what other people think, you’re letting someone else’s imagination control your reality. 🤯

Why Fear OVERSTAYS Its Welcome! (PERSONAL)

👊 FEAR HAS OVERSTAYED ITS WELCOME! 👊

I’ve been afraid of rejection. ❌

I’ve been afraid of being misunderstood. 👤

I’ve been afraid of not belonging. 😨

Fear has spoken to me on MANY occasions, always knocking on the door of my mental home, including the very moment before I broke this board at#GYLS2019. 🏠

Fear is the primal instinct that lies within us all, the emotion which once used to be a necessity for our ancestor’s very survival. 💯

But here, now in our modern society, Fear has long overstayed its welcome. 👍

👊 FEAR HAS OVERSTAYED ITS WELCOME! 👊

Why? Because so many of us are now living in a day and age we’re no longer struggling to get our basic needs met. We’re no longer face-to-face with Death the way our ancestors were. 👥

I always remember this when I talk to my grandmother about her past and what she had to go through in her life. 👵

As a child, she didn’t know when she would get her next meal. Her family couldn’t always afford enough food for every child. She told me how hard it was on her mother not being able to afford to feel all her children an adequate meal. 😔

I compare the life she had to the ones many of us are privileged to live today, the amount of food and options we have available to us today, not a thought in our mind on whether we will get dinner or not. 🥗

It’s why every time I go to her house she offers me more food than I will ever eat. And when I tell her I’m full, she always will eventually offer me dessert! 🍪

You could say: “That’s just what grandmas do!” But I also remind myself she had a very different upbringing, one which most of us have never had to experience. She was raised in a time where she had no choice but to learn firsthand the value of not taking what she was given for granted.

It’s no wonder why today she’s such a selfless soul in so many areas of her life: she knows what it’s like to have very little, and she never wanted that for her family ever again. ❤️

I’ve learned a lot from her about being selfless. Hearing about her life’s problems have helped me come to understand the “problems” I complain about today are so minuscule in comparison. Compared to hers, I have it real easy!

One thing I can also assure you: when you open yourself to other perspectives on life, your views will expand in kind.

👊 FEAR HAS OVERSTAYED ITS WELCOME! 👊

And yet, Fear in our society has found a new home in our lives. But it’s no longer here to help us in getting our basic needs met. It’s migrated into new territory, into far more trivial matters:

😨 Fear our friend is ignoring us because they didn’t text us back

😨 Fear eating food will make us sick because it’s not labeled Organic

😨 Fear not having cell phone reception while traveling

😨 Fear our child won’t get into the prestigious college we want them getting into

These types of “problems” are jokingly referred to today as “First World Problems”. To put it another way: where Fear was once useful for our very survival has now migrated its way into the most trivial matters of our lives.

👊 FEAR HAS OVERSTAYED ITS WELCOME! 👊

It’s not to say Fear isn’t an important emotion or that we should get rid of it altogether. It’s to simply say Fear is not required in the same way it use to be. 👍

It doesn’t have to be inside our mental homes so much anymore. 😊

We are blessed to live in a day and age where the “problems” we care about today pale in comparison to the ones our ancestors once had to deal with. 🤲

And that’s why I punched through that board: because I decided trivial “problems” weren’t going to run my life anymore! Moments before breaking it I wrote on it “Fear of Rejection” and put an X right through it!

👊 FEAR HAS OVERSTAYED ITS WELCOME! 👊

I’m not saying goodbye to Fear forever. I will happily welcome Fear back the day a life-or-death situation actually arises. But for now, I let Fear know I’m staying in charge.

I am in charge of Fear! Fear is not in charge of me! 💪

💥 BOOM! 💥

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Why Learning Isn’t EVERYTHING!

🌟 IT’S NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU INGEST, BUT WHAT YOU DIGEST! 🌟

“I’ve read 100 books on the subject!” 🗣️

“I have 5 Certifications!” 🗣️

“I have 3 Masters Degrees!” 🗣️

Having expertise in a subject is without a doubt important. Like we wouldn’t want toddlers performing open heart surgery or dogs flying helicopters, right?! 🤣

But what I’m getting at is just because someone learns a lot doesn’t automatically mean they know more. 😲

📌 You can read hundreds of books on a subject, yet never use what you read.

📌 You can earn a certification, yet not remember the very information which got you certified in the first place.

📌 You can go to college and receive a degree, yet never use the skills you developed.

Let me ask you a question: for all the school tests you ever took, how much information from the tests do you remember? 🤔

80%? 50%? Nothing?! You’re not alone! 😅

🌟 IT’S NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU INGEST, BUT WHAT YOU DIGEST! 🌟

It’s not about how much you know; it’s about how much you use. It’s not about the amount of information you receive; it’s about what you use with the information you receive. 🙌

It’s the reason why I’ll read the same book twice, why I’ll listen to an online course multiple times, why I’ll re-read notes from seminars I’ve attended. 📚

Because I can assure you: unless you have a photographic memory, you don’t retain every piece of information you learn just from hearing it once. 👍

You don’t lift a few weights at the gym and suddenly are fit for life. You need to keep going back to the gym to maintain the muscles you’ve already built. 🏋️

And the same goes for your mental muscles. You need to keep learning and building on what you’ve already learned. Otherwise, like a muscle, it deteriorates. 🧠

Repetition and application are keys! 🔑

🌟 IT’S NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU INGEST, BUT WHAT YOU DIGEST! 🌟

After all, why do you think I keep repeating this same sentence over and over again? 😉

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