Why Acceptance is CRUCIAL!

🌟 “When you ARGUE with reality, you always lose.” 🌟

If I can count the many times I’ve been stressed in my life, I can say looking back with certainty, they weren’t necessary if I just remembered this principle. 🤔

Or to put it another way…

🌟 “What upsets people is not things themselves but their JUDGEMENTS about the things.” 🌟

I want to let you know: we can save ourselves a TON of needless suffering if we remember this! 👍

🌟 “ACCEPT things as they are, not worse then they are.” 🌟

Often we do this unconsciously in our default mode setting, when we’re not actively paying attention to our thoughts and emotions. It’s why it’s so important we develop our self-awareness. 💯

And one way we start doing this is by practicing acceptance. 🙌

🤬 “But Donald! This thing that just happened SHOULD NEVER have happened! How can you ACCEPT such injustices?!” 🤬

To clarify, acceptance doesn’t mean we support something. It means we consciously give neutrality to a situation, to our thoughts, and to our emotions. For a temporary moment, we don’t label it “good” or “bad”. It just is. 👐

We accept whatever is in the present moment so we can clear our clouded minds and discern the situation with a much clearer understanding. 🧘‍♂️

So the next time you become aware of your emotions controlling you, take back the reins, identify the emotions that are arising, and accept them UNCONDITIONALLY. Yes, even acceptance of the “negative” emotions too! 💯

Add in some deep breaths, and you’ll be surprised how much faster they’ll pass with acceptance. 😄

“Now…where was I?” 💡

Why Your Shadow’s GOOD!

💬 “Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. At all counts, it forms an unconscious snag, thwarting our most well-meant intentions.” ~ Carl Jung 💬

The Shadow consists of the parts we reject within ourselves, the primal emotions we suppress for societal approval or a desire to deny their existence. ❌

You could also refer to the Shadow like “the devil on your shoulder”, the thoughts that come up in your mind you’d never tell anyone else you thought. 👿

Think of the individual you know who is so kind, so loving, and so quiet. But one day you hear about an incident where they lost their temper and you think: “No, that is NOT the person I know! That is NOT who they are!” 🗣️

Or think of the priest who vocally condemns homosexuality in his church but is eventually found to have participated in homosexual acts. 😲

➡️ These are examples of the Shadow at play. ⬅️

When we fail to acknowledge and integrate our Shadow in our life, it comes out in destructive and harmful ways towards ourselves and others. 🔨

We will project our Shadows onto other people and proclaim “They are the immoral ones!” so we can deny the immorality laying within ourselves. 🎭

It’s why there’s so many people with emotional issues, immature adults who never had the opportunity to be in touch with themselves, instead having to settle for cultural expectations of possessing certain personality traits while suppressing others. ↕️

Jung also said: “What you resist not only persists but grows larger in size.” It’s why we should not resist our Shadow. We instead need to be aware of it so we can work with it. 💯

In some circles like self-help and spirituality, I’ve seen the idea of the Shadow being frowned upon. “Let go of the things which don’t serve you.” “If you focus on it, the more energy you give to it.” 👎

I understand those perspectives, however I take Jung’s perspective: “I’d rather be whole than good.” I’d rather accept every part of me, the good and the bad, the gentle and the aggressive, than suppress them. 👤

🤔 So how does one integrate their Shadow? 🤔

The first step is our acknowledgment of its existence, these “dark” part of ourselves we keep rejecting. It doesn’t mean we need to express our Shadows or identify with them, but rather we’re brutally honest about seeing every part of ourselves. 💯

📍 The gentle man acknowledges his capacity for aggression.

📍 The innocent woman acknowledges her capacity for manipulation.

📍 The homophobic priest acknowledges his capacity for homosexual desires.

📍 The Dr. Jekyll acknowledges his capacity for Mr. Hyde.

We acknowledge our capacity for evil while simultaneously choosing to be good. 🎭

With this acknowledgement and acceptance of ourselves, we can now take action! Rather than letting our Shadows control us, we now can take control over them! 💪

🤔 “I consider myself a kind, gentle, and compassionate person. But I acknowledge there’s an aggressively angry part of me that surfaces and comes out when people take advantage of my kindness. How can I integrate this Shadow part of me in a way that won’t hurt others?” 🤔

What are some ways you can use your Shadow energy of anger and aggression in you for more constructive means?

You could take up a competitive sport. You could use this energy in your workouts. You could use it to get your work done faster. You could use it for situations that legitimately call these energies to be used. 😁

👊 The difference now is YOU ARE IN CONTROL. You are using your Shadow rather than letting your Shadow use you! 👊

It’s what I mean when I tell people “don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater”. 👶

Integrating our Shadow can be useful, but we always have to be sure we’re in control and using it in healthy ways. Will you possess your Shadow, or will you allow it to possess you? 😈

Why We Should ACCEPT Our Emotions!

⚠️ WE REPRESS WHAT WE WON’T ACCEPT!!! ⚠️

Last Friday I went into the city to help out at an event at the United Center. Needless to say, Service was the name of the game once again. 🙌

At this point that should just be my middle name, right?! 😂

I woke up at 4am, boarded the train at 5:20am, arrived in the city at 6:20am, and got to the Center in time for the 7am meetup. I got to meet some old and new faces. I made a few new friends. I got to hear a bit of the speakers. And overall it was a fun time! 😄

It was around the late evening when I got back to Union Station to depart home back in the suburbs. If I had to describe how I was feeling at the time, it would simply be: exhausted. It was a fun day, but I was also ready to crash! 😝

I felt like a walking zombie as I wandered through the train station: half-alive, half-focused, and empty-headed. The only difference was I didn’t crave any human flesh but my bed so I could get some sleep! 🧟

I’ve experienced these kinds of moments a few times the past few years, these moments where I’m feeling so completely exhausted. But at the same time, I’m also fascinated with them too! 😲

For a temporary moment in time, I’ve become devoid of meaning and purpose. For a moment in time, I’m devoid of any thoughts about my life or who Donald Arteaga is. And all the while I’m feeling like a zombie, there’s also a part of my brain that is self-aware of it happening! 🧠

It’s why as I wait for the train to arrive, I keep trying change my focus to things other than my exhaustion. I start thinking about the things in my life I’m grateful for. I keep trying to change my focus to things other than my current feelings. It works for short boosts…but my mind quickly wanders back to the visual of my bed Bed. Bed. Bed. Bed. Bed. 🛏️

Getting to my bed, for that moment in time, had become my Ultimate Life Purpose! 😂

It sounds silly, right?! But perhaps Abraham Maslow was right when he said the #1 need of human beings is getting their Physiological needs met: food, water, shelter, clothing, and (yes!) sleep. 😴

🛑 But there was an even bigger problem I wasn’t seeing at the time!

🛑

“What was it?”

👎 I was trying to pushing away what my emotions were communicating.

👎 I was trying to deny what I was feeling.

👎 I was refusing to accept my current state of exhaustion.

I share this post with you all because I believe there’s a CRUCIAL detail so many of us keep missing when we’re trying to change our emotions. And because we miss this detail, we are REPRESSING what we feel rather than ACCEPTING it! ⚠️

What’s the difference between repression and acceptance of our emotions? 🤔

📌 Repressing is denying to yourself the emotions you are currently feeling. You pretend like they’re not there with a mask of another emotion. When you’re angry and deny you’re feeling angry, that anger may build up and come bursting out later in a way you don’t want it to.

📌 Accepting is acknowledging what you’re currently feeling AND being okay with it. You may not like the current emotions you’re feeling, but you nonetheless accept them before you make the conscious choice to change them.

The problem was I was repressing, rather than accepting, my feelings of exhaustion. I kept telling myself: “Wake up! Don’t be tired!” and tried pushing it away with alternatives. 👊

🌟 It wasn’t until I accepted my feelings of exhaustion that its focus in my mind started to dissolve. 🌟

Have you ever had a moment where you felt resentment towards someone, and you kept telling yourself you couldn’t “let it go”? Acceptance is another form of letting go. But in order to let go of your resentment, you have to first acknowledge you’re feeling resentment, and be okay that you’re feeling it.

🌟 We can’t work on an effective solution if we won’t acknowledge what the problem is. 🌟

Our society likes to tell us what we should and shouldn’t feel. We should be strong when we’re feeling weak. We should be happy when we’re sad. It’s all with good intentions, and they have a point about changing our emotions. The problem is they miss the detail of Acceptance.

🌟 In order for anyone to change their emotions effectively, they first have to accept the current emotions they’re feeling and be okay with them. Then the change can begin! 🌟

🛑 THE WRONG WAY: “I shouldn’t feel depressed. I will force myself to feel happy.”

✅ THE RIGHT WAY: “I am feeling depressed. There’s nothing wrong with that; it’s a natural human emotion. But now I do want to feel happier, so I am going to take actions to make that happen!”

As I was riding on the train back home I started to accept my feelings. I let myself be okay with feeling exhausted. I didn’t negatively judge myself for it. After all, I had been awake for over 18 hours. Could I really blame my body for feeling like that?! I can definitely tell you: I had a DEEP sleep that night! 💤

So again: in order for anyone to change their emotions effectively, they first have to accept the current emotions they’re feeling and be okay with them. Then the change can begin! 🌟

If this made sense to you, I’d appreciate it if you SHARE this post. I know there are many who need to hear this in a society that encourages repression over acceptance! 😔

Much love! ❤️ #TranscendLabels

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