How to Stop Arguing With REALITY!

Want to be less stressed? ๐Ÿ˜ต

๐Ÿ™Œ ๐‡๐š๐ฏ๐ž ๐ฅ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ฉ๐ข๐ง๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ. ๐Ÿ™Œ

Have less opinions about how the world “should” be.

Have less opinions about how others “should” act.

Have less opinions about how events “should” happen.

๐Ÿ™Œ ๐๐ž๐œ๐š๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž ๐ฐ๐ก๐ž๐ง ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐š๐ซ๐ ๐ฎ๐ž ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ, ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐€๐‹๐–๐€๐˜๐’ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฌ๐ž. ๐Ÿ™Œ

Give yourself permission, and stop “should”-ing all over yourself.

Give yourself permission, and accept things as they are.

Give yourself permission, and start being more loving to yourself.

โค๏ธ ๐๐ž๐œ๐š๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ’๐ซ๐ž ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ญ๐ก ๐ข๐ญ. โค๏ธ

How To Embrace What’s In Your Control!

What you focus on expands. ๐Ÿ‘€

What you think about, you become. โค๏ธ

Where has your focus been lately? ๐Ÿค”

On problems? ๐Ÿ˜ฃ

On things outside your control? ๐Ÿ˜ซ

I know these both happened to me the past week. ๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™‚๏ธ

The realization at how much is out of our control can feel disheartening, right? ๐Ÿ’”

Especially when Life didn’t wait to give us this fact one bit at a time. ๐Ÿ‘ฃ

Instead it’s providing it via hailstorm lately. ๐ŸŒฉ๏ธ

So what do you do now? ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ

๐Ÿ™Œ Allow yourself to process this fact. ๐Ÿ™Œ

It’s a tough truth to think about. It was tough for me to sit with too. You’re not alone. โค๏ธ

There is A LOT which is outside of our control. ๐Ÿ˜“

But I do have some good news…๐Ÿ‘‚

There ARE things which are in your control! ๐Ÿ˜Š

We cannot control the circumstances where we are born. ๐Ÿ‘Ž

But we can control what how we use our circumstances. โค๏ธ

We cannot control the actions of others. ๐Ÿ‘Ž

But we can control our reaction to their actions. โค๏ธ

We cannot control what Fate ultimately brings us. ๐Ÿ‘Ž

But we can control how we decide to face our Fate. โค๏ธ

As you go through your day, ask yourself:

– Right now, what is within my control? ๐Ÿค”

– Right now, what is outside my control? ๐Ÿค”

– Right now, what can I do with what’s in my control? ๐Ÿค”

Keep the answers you find in mind for the choices you make today. ๐Ÿ™Œ

If you’re theistically inclined, you can also remember the words of the Serenity Prayer ๐Ÿ™:

“God, grant me the serenity to Accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.” ๐Ÿ™Œ

There’s a lot outside our control. ๐Ÿ’ฏ

But where hope is found is through this self-awareness: ๐Ÿ™Œ

๐Ÿ“Œ With the decisions we make in the present moment.

๐Ÿ“Œ With how we choose to treat each other.

๐Ÿ“Œ With how we embrace being the change we wish to see.

Let us not forget: you cannot have light without darkness, just as you cannot have darkness without light. โ˜ฏ๏ธ

One cannot exist without the other. โ†”๏ธ

Consider this post a part of the light that’s coming your way. โ˜€๏ธ

Why Acceptance is CRUCIAL!

๐ŸŒŸย “When you ARGUE with reality, you always lose.”ย ๐ŸŒŸ

If I can count the many times I’ve been stressed in my life, I can say looking back with certainty, they weren’t necessary if I just remembered this principle.ย ๐Ÿค”

Or to put it another way…

๐ŸŒŸย “What upsets people is not things themselves but their JUDGEMENTS about the things.”ย ๐ŸŒŸ

I want to let you know: we can save ourselves a TON of needless suffering if we remember this!ย ๐Ÿ‘

๐ŸŒŸย “ACCEPT things as they are, not worse then they are.”ย ๐ŸŒŸ

Often we do this unconsciously in our default mode setting, when we’re not actively paying attention to our thoughts and emotions. It’s why it’s so important we develop our self-awareness.ย ๐Ÿ’ฏ

And one way we start doing this is by practicing acceptance.ย ๐Ÿ™Œ

๐Ÿคฌย “But Donald! This thing that just happened SHOULD NEVER have happened! How can you ACCEPT such injustices?!”ย ๐Ÿคฌ

To clarify, acceptance doesn’t mean we support something. It means we consciously give neutrality to a situation, to our thoughts, and to our emotions. For a temporary moment, we don’t label it “good” or “bad”. It just is.ย ๐Ÿ‘

We accept whatever is in the present moment so we can clear our clouded minds and discern the situation with a much clearer understanding.ย ๐Ÿง˜โ€โ™‚๏ธ

So the next time you become aware of your emotions controlling you, take back the reins, identify the emotions that are arising, and accept them UNCONDITIONALLY. Yes, even acceptance of the “negative” emotions too!ย ๐Ÿ’ฏ

Add in some deep breaths, and you’ll be surprised how much faster they’ll pass with acceptance.ย ๐Ÿ˜„

“Now…where was I?”ย ๐Ÿ’ก

Why We Should ACCEPT Our Emotions!

โš ๏ธย WE REPRESS WHAT WE WONโ€™T ACCEPT!!!ย โš ๏ธ

Last Friday I went into the city to help out at an event at the United Center. Needless to say, Service was the name of the game once again.ย ๐Ÿ™Œ

At this point that should just be my middle name, right?!ย ๐Ÿ˜‚

I woke up at 4am, boarded the train at 5:20am, arrived in the city at 6:20am, and got to the Center in time for the 7am meetup. I got to meet some old and new faces. I made a few new friends. I got to hear a bit of the speakers. And overall it was a fun time!ย ๐Ÿ˜„

It was around the late evening when I got back to Union Station to depart home back in the suburbs. If I had to describe how I was feeling at the time, it would simply be: exhausted. It was a fun day, but I was also ready to crash!ย ๐Ÿ˜

I felt like a walking zombie as I wandered through the train station: half-alive, half-focused, and empty-headed. The only difference was I didnโ€™t crave any human flesh but my bed so I could get some sleep!ย ๐ŸงŸ

Iโ€™ve experienced these kinds of moments a few times the past few years, these moments where Iโ€™m feeling so completely exhausted. But at the same time, Iโ€™m also fascinated with them too!ย ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

For a temporary moment in time, I’ve become devoid of meaning and purpose. For a moment in time, I’m devoid of any thoughts about my life or who Donald Arteaga is. And all the while Iโ€™m feeling like a zombie, thereโ€™s also a part of my brain that is self-aware of it happening!ย ๐Ÿง 

Itโ€™s why as I wait for the train to arrive, I keep trying change my focus to things other than my exhaustion. I start thinking about the things in my life Iโ€™m grateful for. I keep trying to change my focus to things other than my current feelings. It works for short boostsโ€ฆbut my mind quickly wanders back to the visual of my bed Bed. Bed. Bed. Bed. Bed.ย ๐Ÿ›๏ธ

Getting to my bed, for that moment in time, had become my Ultimate Life Purpose!ย ๐Ÿ˜‚

It sounds silly, right?! But perhaps Abraham Maslow was right when he said the #1 need of human beings is getting their Physiological needs met: food, water, shelter, clothing, and (yes!) sleep.ย ๐Ÿ˜ด

๐Ÿ›‘ย But there was an even bigger problem I wasnโ€™t seeing at the time!

๐Ÿ›‘

“What was it?”

๐Ÿ‘Žย I was trying to pushing away what my emotions were communicating.

๐Ÿ‘Žย I was trying to deny what I was feeling.

๐Ÿ‘Žย I was refusing to accept my current state of exhaustion.

I share this post with you all because I believe thereโ€™s a CRUCIAL detail so many of us keep missing when weโ€™re trying to change our emotions. And because we miss this detail, we are REPRESSING what we feel rather than ACCEPTING it!ย โš ๏ธ

Whatโ€™s the difference between repression and acceptance of our emotions?ย ๐Ÿค”

๐Ÿ“Œย Repressing is denying to yourself the emotions you are currently feeling. You pretend like theyโ€™re not there with a mask of another emotion. When youโ€™re angry and deny youโ€™re feeling angry, that anger may build up and come bursting out later in a way you donโ€™t want it to.

๐Ÿ“Œย Accepting is acknowledging what youโ€™re currently feeling AND being okay with it. You may not like the current emotions youโ€™re feeling, but you nonetheless accept them before you make the conscious choice to change them.

The problem was I was repressing, rather than accepting, my feelings of exhaustion. I kept telling myself: โ€œWake up! Don’t be tired!โ€ and tried pushing it away with alternatives.ย ๐Ÿ‘Š

๐ŸŒŸย It wasnโ€™t until I accepted my feelings of exhaustion that its focus in my mind started to dissolve.ย ๐ŸŒŸ

Have you ever had a moment where you felt resentment towards someone, and you kept telling yourself you couldnโ€™t โ€œlet it goโ€? Acceptance is another form of letting go. But in order to let go of your resentment, you have to first acknowledge you’re feeling resentment, and be okay that you’re feeling it.

๐ŸŒŸย We can’t work on an effective solution if we won’t acknowledge what the problem is.ย ๐ŸŒŸ

Our society likes to tell us what we should and shouldn’t feel. We should be strong when we’re feeling weak. We should be happy when we’re sad. It’s all with good intentions, and they have a point about changing our emotions. The problem is they miss the detail of Acceptance.

๐ŸŒŸย In order for anyone to change their emotions effectively, they first have to accept the current emotions they’re feeling and be okay with them. Then the change can begin!ย ๐ŸŒŸ

๐Ÿ›‘ย THE WRONG WAY: “I shouldn’t feel depressed. I will force myself to feel happy.”

โœ…ย THE RIGHT WAY: “I am feeling depressed. There’s nothing wrong with that; it’s a natural human emotion. But now I do want to feel happier, so I am going to take actions to make that happen!”

As I was riding on the train back home I started to accept my feelings. I let myself be okay with feeling exhausted. I didn’t negatively judge myself for it. After all, I had been awake for over 18 hours. Could I really blame my body for feeling like that?! I can definitely tell you: I had a DEEP sleep that night!ย ๐Ÿ’ค

So again: in order for anyone to change their emotions effectively, they first have to accept the current emotions they’re feeling and be okay with them. Then the change can begin!ย ๐ŸŒŸ

If this made sense to you, I’d appreciate it if you SHARE this post. I know there are many who need to hear this in a society that encourages repression over acceptance!ย ๐Ÿ˜”

Much love!ย โค๏ธย #TranscendLabels

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