Your MOST Important Valentine!

โค๏ธ ๐˜๐Ž๐”๐‘ ๐Œ๐Ž๐’๐“ ๐ˆ๐Œ๐๐Ž๐‘๐“๐€๐๐“ ๐•๐€๐‹๐„๐๐“๐ˆ๐๐„!!! โค๏ธ

What does today’s holiday mean to you?

๐Ÿ’“ A day to share love with the people in your life?

๐Ÿ’˜ A day to spend time with that “special someone”?

๐Ÿ’” A day to remind you of the fact you’re still single?

๐ˆ๐Ÿ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐š๐ง๐ฌ๐ฐ๐ž๐ซ ๐ข๐ฌ #๐Ÿ‘, ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฉ๐ž๐œ๐ข๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ!

For all my single friends out there, me being single myself: no need to fret! ๐Ÿ˜

What if I told you, me at age 29, I’ve NEVER been in a relationship?! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

“๐๐‹๐€๐’๐๐‡๐„๐Œ๐˜!!!”โŒ

Don’t get me wrong, I used to DESPERATELY want one myself! Back in high school, I was on ALL the dating sites and apps: Plenty of Fish, OkCupid, Tinder, etc. I had them ALL covered! ๐Ÿ˜…

๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ “๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜บ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ฅ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ข ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ด๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฑ ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ข๐˜ฅ, ๐˜‹๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ฅ?!” ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ

At the time I didn’t really know, nor did it ever cross my mind to really ask myself why. All I knew was I simply wanted to be in one! ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ

I wanted to find that “special someone” that would make me happier. ๐Ÿ™

๐ŸŒŸ BUT THEREIN WAS THE PROBLEM! ๐ŸŒŸ

๐ˆ ๐ก๐ž๐ฅ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ž๐ฑ๐ฉ๐ž๐œ๐ญ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐ข๐ง ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐š ๐จ๐ง๐œ๐ž ๐ˆ ๐ ๐จ๐ญ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐จ ๐š ๐ซ๐ž๐ฅ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ ๐ˆ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐ฆ๐š๐ ๐ข๐œ๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐›๐ž๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž ๐ก๐š๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ข๐ž๐ซ.

โค๏ธ ๐˜๐Ž๐”๐‘ ๐Œ๐Ž๐’๐“ ๐ˆ๐Œ๐๐Ž๐‘๐“๐€๐๐“ ๐•๐€๐‹๐„๐๐“๐ˆ๐๐„!!! โค๏ธ

Often we’re taught, especially through romantic stories, that if we’re in a relationship with that “special someone” the heavens will somehow magically open and all will live happily ever after. ๐Ÿ˜Š

It’s quite a romantic way of looking at relationships…but as a teenager I didn’t understand that that was NOT reflective of reality! ๐Ÿ˜…

And I get why we keep believing this idea: We tend to only see the POSITIVE moments of a couple’s relationship, on display in our social lives and for all to see on social media. ๐Ÿ–ผ๏ธ

We typically don’t hear about the negative or challenging moments that happen in relationships. Who wants to hear that negativity, right?! ๐Ÿ‘

๐–๐ž’๐ซ๐ž ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ž ๐ž๐š๐ฌ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ž๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐Ÿ๐š๐ง๐ญ๐š๐ฌ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ. ๐–๐ž’๐ซ๐ž ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ž ๐ž๐š๐ฌ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ž๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฏ๐ข๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฉ๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ๐จ๐ง. ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฆ๐š๐ญ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ฅ๐ข๐ณ๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐š ๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ฆ๐ž๐ง๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฅ๐š๐ญ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ ๐ฅ๐š๐ญ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ฆ๐š๐ค๐ž๐ฌ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐š ๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐ -๐ญ๐ž๐ซ๐ฆ ๐ซ๐ž๐ฅ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ. โค๏ธ

But I didn’t know all this as a teenager! So, as a naive teenager, WHY WOULDN’T I want to be in a relationship? They seemed to be nothing but smooth sailing! They looked like mindless fun! ๐Ÿ˜

But it was around 4 years ago that I finally had this big change in perspective around relationships. I made the unanimous decision to UNINSTALL and DELETE ALL the dating apps I was on! ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ “๐–๐š๐ข๐ญ, ๐ฐ๐ก๐ฒ?!” ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ

Of all the countless hours I had spent on those apps, I had finally become drained of my willingness to keep searching for that “special someone”. ๐Ÿ˜“

If I could take the ratio of time I spent browsing those apps to the amount of time I actually spent talking with someone, it would be like 500 to 1! ๐Ÿ‘Ž

โค๏ธ ๐˜๐Ž๐”๐‘ ๐Œ๐Ž๐’๐“ ๐ˆ๐Œ๐๐Ž๐‘๐“๐€๐๐“ ๐•๐€๐‹๐„๐๐“๐ˆ๐๐„!!! โค๏ธ

Ultimately, my excessive searching was a time-waster! And the worst part of all: I kept making myself feel worse each time I logged off the apps when I had no luck. Each time I blamed MYSELF for it! ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

โš ๏ธ ๐ˆ ๐๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ฅ๐จ๐ฉ๐ž๐ ๐š ๐›๐š๐ ๐ก๐š๐›๐ข๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ก๐ž๐ซ๐ž ๐ˆ ๐ฐ๐š๐ฌ ๐ฎ๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ซ๐ž๐ข๐ง๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ๐œ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฆ๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฅ๐Ÿ: “๐๐จ ๐จ๐ง๐ž ๐ฐ๐š๐ง๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐š๐ฅ๐ค ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฆ๐ž! ๐ˆ ๐Ÿ๐ž๐ž๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐ž๐ฅ๐ข๐ž๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ง ๐ˆ ๐๐ข๐ ๐›๐ž๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ๐ž!” โš ๏ธ

…And then holidays like Valentine’s Day came around every year. They would only FURTHER reinforce a cycle of self-pity that I wasn’t in a relationship. And it SUCKED! ๐Ÿ˜ซ

So, you may be asking: what was the “final straw” for me to make such a drastic change?

โค๏ธ ๐˜๐Ž๐”๐‘ ๐Œ๐Ž๐’๐“ ๐ˆ๐Œ๐๐Ž๐‘๐“๐€๐๐“ ๐•๐€๐‹๐„๐๐“๐ˆ๐๐„!!! โค๏ธ

Since my teenage years, I’ve come to greater realizations about why I wanted to be in a relationship in the first place:

โš ๏ธ I thought being in a relationship was the answer to making me happy. But it wasn’t.

โš ๏ธ I thought by being in a relationship, I could seek recognition and validation from others. But I wouldn’t.

โš ๏ธ I thought that if I was in a relationship, it would fill the void of loneliness I felt inside myself. But it wouldn’t.

As awful as it sounds, ๐ˆ ๐ฌ๐š๐ฐ ๐š ๐ซ๐ž๐ฅ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ ๐š๐ฌ ๐š ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ๐ฆ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐ฉ๐ž๐ซ๐ญ๐ฒ, ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ ๐ฉ๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ๐จ๐ง ๐›๐ž๐ข๐ง๐  ๐š ๐ฉ๐จ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐›๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐ญ๐ฎ๐ญ๐ž ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐š ๐ญ๐จ๐ฒ ๐ˆ ๐ญ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐ฆ๐š๐ค๐ž ๐ฆ๐ž ๐Ÿ๐ž๐ž๐ฅ ๐›๐ž๐ญ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ.๐Ÿงธ

But people aren’t objects! And owning more objects won’t make you fulfilled in the long-term! ๐Ÿ’ฏ

๐Ÿšจ ๐ˆ ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ฅ๐ข๐ณ๐ž๐ ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฐ๐š๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐จ ๐›๐ž ๐ข๐ง ๐š ๐ซ๐ž๐ฅ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ ๐ฐ๐ž๐ซ๐ž ๐Ÿ๐š๐ซ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ž ๐’๐„๐‹๐…๐ˆ๐’๐‡ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ง ๐’๐„๐‹๐…๐‹๐„๐’๐’. ๐Œ๐ฒ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐ฐ๐š๐ฌ ๐ฅ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐š๐›๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ “๐–๐„” ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ž ๐š๐›๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ “๐Œ๐„”. ๐Ÿšจ

How many of us get into a relationship primarily for selfish reasons? I challenge you to seriously think about it! ๐Ÿ’ฏ

So, in sharing my story with you all, I hope you see a part of yourself in this. Sometimes what we’re actually looking for is not that “special someone” but actually something much closer to home. ๐Ÿ 

โค๏ธ ๐˜๐Ž๐”๐‘ ๐Œ๐Ž๐’๐“ ๐ˆ๐Œ๐๐Ž๐‘๐“๐€๐๐“ ๐•๐€๐‹๐„๐๐“๐ˆ๐๐„…๐ˆ๐’ ๐˜๐Ž๐”!!! โค๏ธ

๐ŸŒŸ ๐ƒ๐จ๐ง’๐ญ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐ž๐ญ ๐š ๐ซ๐ž๐ฅ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐˜๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฅ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ. ๐๐ž๐œ๐š๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐œ๐š๐ง๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž ๐ฐ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐๐จ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ก๐š๐ฏ๐ž. ๐ŸŒŸ

Again, for all my single friends out there: no need to fret!

โค๏ธ Relationships are not all sunshine and rainbows. We often don’t see what goes on behind-the-scenes, the ongoing commitment required from both people, or the negative moments which happen in them.

โค๏ธ Inner happiness and fulfillment has to come from YOU first. Fill your cup up first so then you can easily share it with a future lover. If you can’t love yourself first, you can’t expect it to come from someone else, because you’re going to be waiting forever.

โค๏ธ Self-love is one of the greatest gifts you can give. The only person you’re with 100% of your life…is Yourself! So learn to be comfortable in your own company.

โค๏ธ Today is an opportunity for you to change your perspective on how you see relationships. They are not a place you go to GET but a place you go to GIVE, and not being in one DOESN’T determine your self-worth.

Make today a day for you to give love in whatever way you know best! For me, writing this post to share with all of you is one of them! ๐Ÿ˜

Please SHARE this post with anyone who needs to hear this today. Truly, you’re not alone! โค๏ธ

Why Your Shadow MATTERS!

๐Ÿ’ฌ “๐„๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฒ๐จ๐ง๐ž ๐œ๐š๐ซ๐ซ๐ข๐ž๐ฌ ๐š ๐ฌ๐ก๐š๐๐จ๐ฐ, ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฅ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ž๐ฆ๐›๐จ๐๐ข๐ž๐ ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ข๐ง๐๐ข๐ฏ๐ข๐๐ฎ๐š๐ฅ’๐ฌ ๐œ๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐œ๐ข๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐ฅ๐ข๐Ÿ๐ž, ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐›๐ฅ๐š๐œ๐ค๐ž๐ซ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐๐ž๐ง๐ฌ๐ž๐ซ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ. ๐€๐ญ ๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐œ๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐ญ๐ฌ, ๐ข๐ญ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ๐ฆ๐ฌ ๐š๐ง ๐ฎ๐ง๐œ๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐œ๐ข๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ง๐š๐ , ๐ญ๐ก๐ฐ๐š๐ซ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ž๐ฅ๐ฅ-๐ฆ๐ž๐š๐ง๐ญ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ.” ~ ๐‚๐š๐ซ๐ฅ ๐‰๐ฎ๐ง๐  ๐Ÿ’ฌ

The Shadow is the parts of ourselves we reject, the primal emotions we suppress for the sake of societal approval, the parts we deny out of a personal desire to deny they exist. โŒ

You could also think of the Shadow like “the devil on your shoulder”. The Shadow includes the thoughts that come up in your mind you’d never tell anyone else you thought. ๐Ÿ‘ฟ

Think of an individual who is so kind, so loving, and so quiet. But one day you hear about an incident where they lost their temper, and you think to yourself: “NO! That is NOT the person I know! That is NOT who they are!” ๐Ÿ›‘

Or think of the priest who vocally condemns homosexuality in his church but is eventually found to have participated in homosexual acts. ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

โžก๏ธ These are examples of the Shadow at play. โฌ…๏ธ

๐–๐ก๐ž๐ง ๐ฐ๐ž ๐Ÿ๐š๐ข๐ฅ ๐ญ๐จ ๐š๐œ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ž๐๐ ๐ž ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐ž๐ ๐ซ๐š๐ญ๐ž ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐’๐ก๐š๐๐จ๐ฐ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐จ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฅ๐ข๐Ÿ๐ž, ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž ๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ข๐ง ๐๐ž๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐ฎ๐œ๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ก๐š๐ซ๐ฆ๐Ÿ๐ฎ๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐š๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ๐ฐ๐š๐ซ๐๐ฌ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฅ๐ฏ๐ž๐ฌ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ. ๐Ÿ”จ

๐–๐ž ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐ฃ๐ž๐œ๐ญ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐’๐ก๐š๐๐จ๐ฐ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ง๐ญ๐จ ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ ๐ฉ๐ž๐จ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ž ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐œ๐ฅ๐š๐ข๐ฆ: “๐“๐ก๐ž๐ฒ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ข๐ฆ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐š๐ฅ!” ๐ฐ๐ก๐ข๐ฅ๐ž ๐๐ž๐ง๐ฒ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฒ ๐ข๐ฆ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐š๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ฅ๐š๐ฒ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฅ๐ฏ๐ž๐ฌ. ๐ŸŽญ

It’s why there’s so many people with emotional issues. It’s why we have many immature adults, ones who’ve never taken the opportunity to be better in touch with themselves. ๐Ÿ˜”

Instead, many have unfortunately had to settle for cultural expectations of possessing certain personality traits while suppressing others. ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

A man needs to always be masculine and suppress his femininity (“Boys don’t cry”), while a female needs to always be feminine and suppress her masculinity (“Girls, know your place”). โ†•๏ธ

๐ˆ๐ญ’๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ก๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐ž ๐ฌ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ซ๐ž๐ฌ๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐’๐ก๐š๐๐จ๐ฐ. ๐ˆ๐ง๐ฌ๐ญ๐ž๐š๐, ๐ฐ๐ž ๐ง๐ž๐ž๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐›๐ž๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž ๐š๐ฐ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฌ๐จ ๐ฐ๐ž ๐œ๐š๐ง ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ค ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ข๐ญ. ๐Ÿ’ฏ

In some circles like self-help and spirituality, the idea of the Shadow can be frowned upon. “Let go of the things which don’t serve you.” “If you focus on it, the more energy you give to it.” ๐Ÿ‘Ž

I understand those perspectives, however I take Carl Jung’s perspective: “I’d rather be whole than good.” I’d rather accept every part of me, the good and the bad, the gentle and the aggressive, than suppress it. ๐Ÿ‘ค

๐Ÿค” So, how does one integrate their Shadow? ๐Ÿค”

The first step is acknowledgment of its existence. Whatever your Shadow is will differ from person to person. ๐Ÿ™Œ

This DOESN’T mean you have to start expressing your Shadow or have to start identifying with it. It’s simply about acknowledging it, you making a personal commitment to being brutally honest of seeing every part of yourself, whether you are “proud” it or not. ๐Ÿ’ฏ

๐Ÿ“ ๐“๐ก๐ž ๐ ๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐ฅ๐ž ๐ฆ๐š๐ง ๐š๐œ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ž๐๐ ๐ž๐ฌ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐œ๐š๐ฉ๐š๐œ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐š๐ ๐ ๐ซ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ง.

๐Ÿ“ ๐“๐ก๐ž ๐ฌ๐ž๐ง๐ฌ๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฆ๐š๐ง ๐š๐œ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ž๐๐ ๐ž๐ฌ ๐ก๐ž๐ซ ๐œ๐š๐ฉ๐š๐œ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฆ๐š๐ง๐ข๐ฉ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง.

๐Ÿ“ ๐“๐ก๐ž ๐ก๐จ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฉ๐ก๐จ๐›๐ข๐œ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐ข๐ž๐ฌ๐ญ ๐š๐œ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ž๐๐ ๐ž๐ฌ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐œ๐š๐ฉ๐š๐œ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐ก๐จ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฑ๐ฎ๐š๐ฅ ๐๐ž๐ฌ๐ข๐ซ๐ž๐ฌ.

๐Ÿ“ ๐“๐ก๐ž ๐ƒ๐ซ. ๐‰๐ž๐ค๐ฒ๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐š๐œ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ž๐๐ ๐ž๐ฌ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐œ๐š๐ฉ๐š๐œ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐Œ๐ซ. ๐‡๐ฒ๐๐ž.

We acknowledge our capacity for evil while simultaneously choosing to be good. ๐ŸŽญ

As written in The Gulag Archipelago ๐Ÿ“–: “If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them.

๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐ž ๐๐ข๐ฏ๐ข๐๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ ๐จ๐จ๐ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ž๐ฏ๐ข๐ฅ ๐œ๐ฎ๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ก๐ž๐š๐ซ๐ญ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฒ ๐ก๐ฎ๐ฆ๐š๐ง ๐›๐ž๐ข๐ง๐ .” ๐Ÿ‘ค

So, with this acknowledgement and acceptance of our Shadows, we can then take action! ๐Ÿ˜„

๐‘๐š๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ง ๐ฅ๐ž๐ญ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐’๐ก๐š๐๐จ๐ฐ๐ฌ ๐œ๐จ๐ง๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฅ ๐ฎ๐ฌ, ๐ฐ๐ž ๐œ๐š๐ง ๐ญ๐š๐ค๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ซ๐ž๐ข๐ง๐ฌ ๐จ๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฆ! ๐Ÿ’ช

“๐˜ ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ง ๐˜ข ๐˜ฌ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ, ๐˜จ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ, ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ด๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ. ๐˜‰๐˜ถ๐˜ต ๐˜ ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ฌ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ๐˜จ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ’๐˜ด ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ ๐˜ข๐˜จ๐˜จ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ท๐˜ฆ, ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜จ๐˜ณ๐˜บ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ต ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ด๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ง๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ฆ๐˜ด ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ต ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฑ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข๐˜ฅ๐˜ท๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜จ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ ๐˜ฌ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ด. ๐Ÿ˜ 

๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜ค๐˜ข๐˜ฏ ๐˜ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜จ๐˜ณ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜š๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ฅ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ต ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ข ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜บ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ’๐˜ต ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ณ๐˜ถ๐˜ค๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ด?” ๐Ÿค”

What are some ways you could use your Shadow energy of anger and aggression for more constructive means?

โšฝ๏ธ You could take up a competitive sport.

๐Ÿ‹๏ธ You could use this energy in your workouts.

๐Ÿ’จ You could use it to get your work done faster.

๐Ÿ™Œ You could use it in situations which legitimately call for you to become more aggressive.

๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐๐ข๐Ÿ๐Ÿ๐ž๐ซ๐ž๐ง๐œ๐ž ๐ง๐จ๐ฐ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐˜๐Ž๐” ๐€๐‘๐„ ๐ˆ๐ ๐‚๐Ž๐๐“๐‘๐Ž๐‹. ๐˜๐จ๐ฎ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐’๐ก๐š๐๐จ๐ฐ ๐œ๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐œ๐ข๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ซ๐š๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ง ๐ฅ๐ž๐ญ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐’๐ก๐š๐๐จ๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฎ๐ง๐œ๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐œ๐ข๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฅ๐ฒ! ๐Ÿ˜„

It’s what I mean when I tell people “don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater”. ๐Ÿ‘ถ

Integrating our Shadow can be VERY useful. But we always need to make sure we’re in control and using it for a healthy means. ๐Ÿ˜Š

๐–๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐’๐ก๐š๐๐จ๐ฐ, ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฐ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ? ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

.

LET ME KNOW IF YOU FOUND THIS USEFUL! โฌ‡๏ธ

Why Separation is EMPOWERING!

Take the example of a bow, an arrow, and a target.ย ๐Ÿน

You’ve practiced for months. You’ve spent countless hours shooting arrows. And today is The Day, the day you decide you’ve practiced long enough to hit the bullseye multiple consecutive times!ย ๐ŸŽฏ

But somehow, you’re not at all nervous. You’re not even worried! You’ve practiced a lot, that’s for sure. But there’s one valuable lesson you’ve also learned in your life which rids you of needless worry…

๐ŸŒŸย Separate the things which are in your control from the things not in your control.ย ๐ŸŒŸ

To be kind to another person is within your control. To know if the person will be kind in return is not in your control.ย โค๏ธ

To tell the truth is in your control. To know if telling the truth will benefit you in your current situation is out of your control.ย ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ

To keep a promise is in your control. To know if someone else will keep their promise is out of your control.ย ๐Ÿค

To practice, to prepare, to aim, and shoot an arrow at a target is in your control. But to know if the arrow will hit the bullseye once it’s left your bow is not in your control.ย ๐Ÿน

The problem is we so often put focus on what’s not in our control. So much of the news we read, hear, and absorb today are about other people, other events, and things which are not at all in our control.ย ๐Ÿ“บ

So then we focus on the arrow even though it’s already left our bows. We focus on all the arrows of others even though they have nothing to do with our everyday lives. In doing so, we’re causing ourselves needless worry and anxiety!ย ๐Ÿ˜ซ

So what then? We must flip our focuses back to what we can control, not just for our own mental health but for the impact we make by doing so. We focus on being a good person. We focus on setting the example. We focus on taking action on things within our control.ย ๐Ÿ’ช

Because once you make a habit to start separating these two, placing all your energy into what’s in your control, you will save yourself a ton of time and stress!ย โค๏ธ

How You TRANSFORM Your Life!

โ€œEver more people today have the means to live, but no meaning to live for.โ€ย – Viktor Franklย ๐Ÿ—ฃ

๐ŸŒŸย A life filled with purpose and meaning is what drives a person forward.ย ๐ŸŒŸ

What gets you out of bed every morning? Do you PUSH yourself out of bed? Or are you PULLED to something greater than the present moment? Why does any person wake up each morning: to liveโ€ฆor to maintain?ย ๐Ÿค”

I believe these are very important questions we need to ask in a world where mental health continues to be a grave concern.ย ๐Ÿง 

โš ๏ธย According to the World Health Organization, depression is the leading cause of mental illness with an estimate 300 MILLION people affected.ย โš ๏ธ

A few years ago I wouldโ€™ve also been a part of that list. But I don’t consider myself anymore.ย ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

โ€œHow did you change that?โ€ย ๐Ÿ’ฌ

One thing I’ll tell you for certain was it wasn’t a quick fix. It’s a process, one which will take time, patience, and lots of focus.ย ๐Ÿ‘€

But I can tell you it’s worth it!ย โค๏ธ

๐Ÿ“ย DO MORE THINGS THAT LIGHT UP YOUR HEART & SOUL. Even if others say it’s not “realistic” or “worth it”, if it’s worth it to you that’s what matters. You do it for you, not for other people.

๐Ÿ“ย START CHOOSING TO SEE YOUR PROBLEMS AS “GIFTS”. No matter how bad the problem is, ask yourself how this problem can work in your favor.

๐Ÿ“ย START CHALLENGING YOUR BAD HABITS & BUILD NEW ONES. It’s easier to break an old habit than it is to build a new one. Remind yourself the changes you’re making are for your Future Self.

๐Ÿ“ย DEVELOP MORE SELF-AWARENESS. Whether it’s meditating, journaling, or creating goals, the better you understand yourself (the good and the bad) the faster you can make adjustments in your life.

๐Ÿ“ย DO MORE GOOD FOR OTHERS. The fastest way out of suffering? Do good for the next person you see. It can even be as simple as a smile. It’s when we’re stuck in our heads where we suffer.

Shoutout to my friend Rapahel and the work his non-profit The Hero Foundation Napa is doing for his community! It’s how I got this awesome shirt!ย ๐Ÿ‘•

I hope it inspires you to spread good too! Because THAT is a life worth living!ย โค๏ธ