Your MOST Important Valentine!

โค๏ธ ๐˜๐Ž๐”๐‘ ๐Œ๐Ž๐’๐“ ๐ˆ๐Œ๐๐Ž๐‘๐“๐€๐๐“ ๐•๐€๐‹๐„๐๐“๐ˆ๐๐„!!! โค๏ธ

What does today’s holiday mean to you?

๐Ÿ’“ A day to share love with the people in your life?

๐Ÿ’˜ A day to spend time with that “special someone”?

๐Ÿ’” A day to remind you of the fact you’re still single?

๐ˆ๐Ÿ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐š๐ง๐ฌ๐ฐ๐ž๐ซ ๐ข๐ฌ #๐Ÿ‘, ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฉ๐ž๐œ๐ข๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ!

For all my single friends out there, me being single myself: no need to fret! ๐Ÿ˜

What if I told you, me at age 29, I’ve NEVER been in a relationship?! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

“๐๐‹๐€๐’๐๐‡๐„๐Œ๐˜!!!”โŒ

Don’t get me wrong, I used to DESPERATELY want one myself! Back in high school, I was on ALL the dating sites and apps: Plenty of Fish, OkCupid, Tinder, etc. I had them ALL covered! ๐Ÿ˜…

๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ “๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜บ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ฅ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ข ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ด๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฑ ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ข๐˜ฅ, ๐˜‹๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ฅ?!” ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ

At the time I didn’t really know, nor did it ever cross my mind to really ask myself why. All I knew was I simply wanted to be in one! ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ

I wanted to find that “special someone” that would make me happier. ๐Ÿ™

๐ŸŒŸ BUT THEREIN WAS THE PROBLEM! ๐ŸŒŸ

๐ˆ ๐ก๐ž๐ฅ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ž๐ฑ๐ฉ๐ž๐œ๐ญ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐ข๐ง ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐š ๐จ๐ง๐œ๐ž ๐ˆ ๐ ๐จ๐ญ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐จ ๐š ๐ซ๐ž๐ฅ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ ๐ˆ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐ฆ๐š๐ ๐ข๐œ๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐›๐ž๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž ๐ก๐š๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ข๐ž๐ซ.

โค๏ธ ๐˜๐Ž๐”๐‘ ๐Œ๐Ž๐’๐“ ๐ˆ๐Œ๐๐Ž๐‘๐“๐€๐๐“ ๐•๐€๐‹๐„๐๐“๐ˆ๐๐„!!! โค๏ธ

Often we’re taught, especially through romantic stories, that if we’re in a relationship with that “special someone” the heavens will somehow magically open and all will live happily ever after. ๐Ÿ˜Š

It’s quite a romantic way of looking at relationships…but as a teenager I didn’t understand that that was NOT reflective of reality! ๐Ÿ˜…

And I get why we keep believing this idea: We tend to only see the POSITIVE moments of a couple’s relationship, on display in our social lives and for all to see on social media. ๐Ÿ–ผ๏ธ

We typically don’t hear about the negative or challenging moments that happen in relationships. Who wants to hear that negativity, right?! ๐Ÿ‘

๐–๐ž’๐ซ๐ž ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ž ๐ž๐š๐ฌ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ž๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐Ÿ๐š๐ง๐ญ๐š๐ฌ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ. ๐–๐ž’๐ซ๐ž ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ž ๐ž๐š๐ฌ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ž๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฏ๐ข๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฉ๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ๐จ๐ง. ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฆ๐š๐ญ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ฅ๐ข๐ณ๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐š ๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ฆ๐ž๐ง๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฅ๐š๐ญ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ ๐ฅ๐š๐ญ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ฆ๐š๐ค๐ž๐ฌ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐š ๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐ -๐ญ๐ž๐ซ๐ฆ ๐ซ๐ž๐ฅ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ. โค๏ธ

But I didn’t know all this as a teenager! So, as a naive teenager, WHY WOULDN’T I want to be in a relationship? They seemed to be nothing but smooth sailing! They looked like mindless fun! ๐Ÿ˜

But it was around 4 years ago that I finally had this big change in perspective around relationships. I made the unanimous decision to UNINSTALL and DELETE ALL the dating apps I was on! ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ “๐–๐š๐ข๐ญ, ๐ฐ๐ก๐ฒ?!” ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ

Of all the countless hours I had spent on those apps, I had finally become drained of my willingness to keep searching for that “special someone”. ๐Ÿ˜“

If I could take the ratio of time I spent browsing those apps to the amount of time I actually spent talking with someone, it would be like 500 to 1! ๐Ÿ‘Ž

โค๏ธ ๐˜๐Ž๐”๐‘ ๐Œ๐Ž๐’๐“ ๐ˆ๐Œ๐๐Ž๐‘๐“๐€๐๐“ ๐•๐€๐‹๐„๐๐“๐ˆ๐๐„!!! โค๏ธ

Ultimately, my excessive searching was a time-waster! And the worst part of all: I kept making myself feel worse each time I logged off the apps when I had no luck. Each time I blamed MYSELF for it! ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

โš ๏ธ ๐ˆ ๐๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ฅ๐จ๐ฉ๐ž๐ ๐š ๐›๐š๐ ๐ก๐š๐›๐ข๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ก๐ž๐ซ๐ž ๐ˆ ๐ฐ๐š๐ฌ ๐ฎ๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ซ๐ž๐ข๐ง๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ๐œ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฆ๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฅ๐Ÿ: “๐๐จ ๐จ๐ง๐ž ๐ฐ๐š๐ง๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐š๐ฅ๐ค ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฆ๐ž! ๐ˆ ๐Ÿ๐ž๐ž๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐ž๐ฅ๐ข๐ž๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ง ๐ˆ ๐๐ข๐ ๐›๐ž๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ๐ž!” โš ๏ธ

…And then holidays like Valentine’s Day came around every year. They would only FURTHER reinforce a cycle of self-pity that I wasn’t in a relationship. And it SUCKED! ๐Ÿ˜ซ

So, you may be asking: what was the “final straw” for me to make such a drastic change?

โค๏ธ ๐˜๐Ž๐”๐‘ ๐Œ๐Ž๐’๐“ ๐ˆ๐Œ๐๐Ž๐‘๐“๐€๐๐“ ๐•๐€๐‹๐„๐๐“๐ˆ๐๐„!!! โค๏ธ

Since my teenage years, I’ve come to greater realizations about why I wanted to be in a relationship in the first place:

โš ๏ธ I thought being in a relationship was the answer to making me happy. But it wasn’t.

โš ๏ธ I thought by being in a relationship, I could seek recognition and validation from others. But I wouldn’t.

โš ๏ธ I thought that if I was in a relationship, it would fill the void of loneliness I felt inside myself. But it wouldn’t.

As awful as it sounds, ๐ˆ ๐ฌ๐š๐ฐ ๐š ๐ซ๐ž๐ฅ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ ๐š๐ฌ ๐š ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ๐ฆ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐ฉ๐ž๐ซ๐ญ๐ฒ, ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ ๐ฉ๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ๐จ๐ง ๐›๐ž๐ข๐ง๐  ๐š ๐ฉ๐จ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐›๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐ญ๐ฎ๐ญ๐ž ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐š ๐ญ๐จ๐ฒ ๐ˆ ๐ญ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐ฆ๐š๐ค๐ž ๐ฆ๐ž ๐Ÿ๐ž๐ž๐ฅ ๐›๐ž๐ญ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ.๐Ÿงธ

But people aren’t objects! And owning more objects won’t make you fulfilled in the long-term! ๐Ÿ’ฏ

๐Ÿšจ ๐ˆ ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ฅ๐ข๐ณ๐ž๐ ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฐ๐š๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐จ ๐›๐ž ๐ข๐ง ๐š ๐ซ๐ž๐ฅ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ ๐ฐ๐ž๐ซ๐ž ๐Ÿ๐š๐ซ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ž ๐’๐„๐‹๐…๐ˆ๐’๐‡ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ง ๐’๐„๐‹๐…๐‹๐„๐’๐’. ๐Œ๐ฒ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐ฐ๐š๐ฌ ๐ฅ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐š๐›๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ “๐–๐„” ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ž ๐š๐›๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ “๐Œ๐„”. ๐Ÿšจ

How many of us get into a relationship primarily for selfish reasons? I challenge you to seriously think about it! ๐Ÿ’ฏ

So, in sharing my story with you all, I hope you see a part of yourself in this. Sometimes what we’re actually looking for is not that “special someone” but actually something much closer to home. ๐Ÿ 

โค๏ธ ๐˜๐Ž๐”๐‘ ๐Œ๐Ž๐’๐“ ๐ˆ๐Œ๐๐Ž๐‘๐“๐€๐๐“ ๐•๐€๐‹๐„๐๐“๐ˆ๐๐„…๐ˆ๐’ ๐˜๐Ž๐”!!! โค๏ธ

๐ŸŒŸ ๐ƒ๐จ๐ง’๐ญ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐ž๐ญ ๐š ๐ซ๐ž๐ฅ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐˜๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฅ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ. ๐๐ž๐œ๐š๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐œ๐š๐ง๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž ๐ฐ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐๐จ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ก๐š๐ฏ๐ž. ๐ŸŒŸ

Again, for all my single friends out there: no need to fret!

โค๏ธ Relationships are not all sunshine and rainbows. We often don’t see what goes on behind-the-scenes, the ongoing commitment required from both people, or the negative moments which happen in them.

โค๏ธ Inner happiness and fulfillment has to come from YOU first. Fill your cup up first so then you can easily share it with a future lover. If you can’t love yourself first, you can’t expect it to come from someone else, because you’re going to be waiting forever.

โค๏ธ Self-love is one of the greatest gifts you can give. The only person you’re with 100% of your life…is Yourself! So learn to be comfortable in your own company.

โค๏ธ Today is an opportunity for you to change your perspective on how you see relationships. They are not a place you go to GET but a place you go to GIVE, and not being in one DOESN’T determine your self-worth.

Make today a day for you to give love in whatever way you know best! For me, writing this post to share with all of you is one of them! ๐Ÿ˜

Please SHARE this post with anyone who needs to hear this today. Truly, you’re not alone! โค๏ธ

How to Stop Arguing With REALITY!

Want to be less stressed? ๐Ÿ˜ต

๐Ÿ™Œ ๐‡๐š๐ฏ๐ž ๐ฅ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ฉ๐ข๐ง๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ. ๐Ÿ™Œ

Have less opinions about how the world “should” be.

Have less opinions about how others “should” act.

Have less opinions about how events “should” happen.

๐Ÿ™Œ ๐๐ž๐œ๐š๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž ๐ฐ๐ก๐ž๐ง ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐š๐ซ๐ ๐ฎ๐ž ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ, ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐€๐‹๐–๐€๐˜๐’ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฌ๐ž. ๐Ÿ™Œ

Give yourself permission, and stop “should”-ing all over yourself.

Give yourself permission, and accept things as they are.

Give yourself permission, and start being more loving to yourself.

โค๏ธ ๐๐ž๐œ๐š๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ’๐ซ๐ž ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ญ๐ก ๐ข๐ญ. โค๏ธ

Why Your Shadow MATTERS!

๐Ÿ’ฌ “๐„๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฒ๐จ๐ง๐ž ๐œ๐š๐ซ๐ซ๐ข๐ž๐ฌ ๐š ๐ฌ๐ก๐š๐๐จ๐ฐ, ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฅ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ž๐ฆ๐›๐จ๐๐ข๐ž๐ ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ข๐ง๐๐ข๐ฏ๐ข๐๐ฎ๐š๐ฅ’๐ฌ ๐œ๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐œ๐ข๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐ฅ๐ข๐Ÿ๐ž, ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐›๐ฅ๐š๐œ๐ค๐ž๐ซ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐๐ž๐ง๐ฌ๐ž๐ซ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ. ๐€๐ญ ๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐œ๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐ญ๐ฌ, ๐ข๐ญ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ๐ฆ๐ฌ ๐š๐ง ๐ฎ๐ง๐œ๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐œ๐ข๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ง๐š๐ , ๐ญ๐ก๐ฐ๐š๐ซ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ž๐ฅ๐ฅ-๐ฆ๐ž๐š๐ง๐ญ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ.” ~ ๐‚๐š๐ซ๐ฅ ๐‰๐ฎ๐ง๐  ๐Ÿ’ฌ

The Shadow is the parts of ourselves we reject, the primal emotions we suppress for the sake of societal approval, the parts we deny out of a personal desire to deny they exist. โŒ

You could also think of the Shadow like “the devil on your shoulder”. The Shadow includes the thoughts that come up in your mind you’d never tell anyone else you thought. ๐Ÿ‘ฟ

Think of an individual who is so kind, so loving, and so quiet. But one day you hear about an incident where they lost their temper, and you think to yourself: “NO! That is NOT the person I know! That is NOT who they are!” ๐Ÿ›‘

Or think of the priest who vocally condemns homosexuality in his church but is eventually found to have participated in homosexual acts. ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

โžก๏ธ These are examples of the Shadow at play. โฌ…๏ธ

๐–๐ก๐ž๐ง ๐ฐ๐ž ๐Ÿ๐š๐ข๐ฅ ๐ญ๐จ ๐š๐œ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ž๐๐ ๐ž ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐ž๐ ๐ซ๐š๐ญ๐ž ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐’๐ก๐š๐๐จ๐ฐ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐จ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฅ๐ข๐Ÿ๐ž, ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž ๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ข๐ง ๐๐ž๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐ฎ๐œ๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ก๐š๐ซ๐ฆ๐Ÿ๐ฎ๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐š๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ๐ฐ๐š๐ซ๐๐ฌ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฅ๐ฏ๐ž๐ฌ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ. ๐Ÿ”จ

๐–๐ž ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐ฃ๐ž๐œ๐ญ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐’๐ก๐š๐๐จ๐ฐ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ง๐ญ๐จ ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ ๐ฉ๐ž๐จ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ž ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐œ๐ฅ๐š๐ข๐ฆ: “๐“๐ก๐ž๐ฒ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ข๐ฆ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐š๐ฅ!” ๐ฐ๐ก๐ข๐ฅ๐ž ๐๐ž๐ง๐ฒ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฒ ๐ข๐ฆ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐š๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ฅ๐š๐ฒ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฅ๐ฏ๐ž๐ฌ. ๐ŸŽญ

It’s why there’s so many people with emotional issues. It’s why we have many immature adults, ones who’ve never taken the opportunity to be better in touch with themselves. ๐Ÿ˜”

Instead, many have unfortunately had to settle for cultural expectations of possessing certain personality traits while suppressing others. ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

A man needs to always be masculine and suppress his femininity (“Boys don’t cry”), while a female needs to always be feminine and suppress her masculinity (“Girls, know your place”). โ†•๏ธ

๐ˆ๐ญ’๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ก๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐ž ๐ฌ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ซ๐ž๐ฌ๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐’๐ก๐š๐๐จ๐ฐ. ๐ˆ๐ง๐ฌ๐ญ๐ž๐š๐, ๐ฐ๐ž ๐ง๐ž๐ž๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐›๐ž๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž ๐š๐ฐ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฌ๐จ ๐ฐ๐ž ๐œ๐š๐ง ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ค ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ข๐ญ. ๐Ÿ’ฏ

In some circles like self-help and spirituality, the idea of the Shadow can be frowned upon. “Let go of the things which don’t serve you.” “If you focus on it, the more energy you give to it.” ๐Ÿ‘Ž

I understand those perspectives, however I take Carl Jung’s perspective: “I’d rather be whole than good.” I’d rather accept every part of me, the good and the bad, the gentle and the aggressive, than suppress it. ๐Ÿ‘ค

๐Ÿค” So, how does one integrate their Shadow? ๐Ÿค”

The first step is acknowledgment of its existence. Whatever your Shadow is will differ from person to person. ๐Ÿ™Œ

This DOESN’T mean you have to start expressing your Shadow or have to start identifying with it. It’s simply about acknowledging it, you making a personal commitment to being brutally honest of seeing every part of yourself, whether you are “proud” it or not. ๐Ÿ’ฏ

๐Ÿ“ ๐“๐ก๐ž ๐ ๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐ฅ๐ž ๐ฆ๐š๐ง ๐š๐œ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ž๐๐ ๐ž๐ฌ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐œ๐š๐ฉ๐š๐œ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐š๐ ๐ ๐ซ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ง.

๐Ÿ“ ๐“๐ก๐ž ๐ฌ๐ž๐ง๐ฌ๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฆ๐š๐ง ๐š๐œ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ž๐๐ ๐ž๐ฌ ๐ก๐ž๐ซ ๐œ๐š๐ฉ๐š๐œ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฆ๐š๐ง๐ข๐ฉ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง.

๐Ÿ“ ๐“๐ก๐ž ๐ก๐จ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฉ๐ก๐จ๐›๐ข๐œ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐ข๐ž๐ฌ๐ญ ๐š๐œ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ž๐๐ ๐ž๐ฌ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐œ๐š๐ฉ๐š๐œ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐ก๐จ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฑ๐ฎ๐š๐ฅ ๐๐ž๐ฌ๐ข๐ซ๐ž๐ฌ.

๐Ÿ“ ๐“๐ก๐ž ๐ƒ๐ซ. ๐‰๐ž๐ค๐ฒ๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐š๐œ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ž๐๐ ๐ž๐ฌ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐œ๐š๐ฉ๐š๐œ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐Œ๐ซ. ๐‡๐ฒ๐๐ž.

We acknowledge our capacity for evil while simultaneously choosing to be good. ๐ŸŽญ

As written in The Gulag Archipelago ๐Ÿ“–: “If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them.

๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐ž ๐๐ข๐ฏ๐ข๐๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ ๐จ๐จ๐ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ž๐ฏ๐ข๐ฅ ๐œ๐ฎ๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ก๐ž๐š๐ซ๐ญ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฒ ๐ก๐ฎ๐ฆ๐š๐ง ๐›๐ž๐ข๐ง๐ .” ๐Ÿ‘ค

So, with this acknowledgement and acceptance of our Shadows, we can then take action! ๐Ÿ˜„

๐‘๐š๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ง ๐ฅ๐ž๐ญ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐’๐ก๐š๐๐จ๐ฐ๐ฌ ๐œ๐จ๐ง๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฅ ๐ฎ๐ฌ, ๐ฐ๐ž ๐œ๐š๐ง ๐ญ๐š๐ค๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ซ๐ž๐ข๐ง๐ฌ ๐จ๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฆ! ๐Ÿ’ช

“๐˜ ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ง ๐˜ข ๐˜ฌ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ, ๐˜จ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ, ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ด๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ. ๐˜‰๐˜ถ๐˜ต ๐˜ ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ฌ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ๐˜จ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ’๐˜ด ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ ๐˜ข๐˜จ๐˜จ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ท๐˜ฆ, ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜จ๐˜ณ๐˜บ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ต ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ด๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ง๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ฆ๐˜ด ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ต ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฑ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข๐˜ฅ๐˜ท๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜จ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ ๐˜ฌ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ด. ๐Ÿ˜ 

๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜ค๐˜ข๐˜ฏ ๐˜ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜จ๐˜ณ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜š๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ฅ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ต ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ข ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜บ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ’๐˜ต ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ณ๐˜ถ๐˜ค๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ด?” ๐Ÿค”

What are some ways you could use your Shadow energy of anger and aggression for more constructive means?

โšฝ๏ธ You could take up a competitive sport.

๐Ÿ‹๏ธ You could use this energy in your workouts.

๐Ÿ’จ You could use it to get your work done faster.

๐Ÿ™Œ You could use it in situations which legitimately call for you to become more aggressive.

๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐๐ข๐Ÿ๐Ÿ๐ž๐ซ๐ž๐ง๐œ๐ž ๐ง๐จ๐ฐ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐˜๐Ž๐” ๐€๐‘๐„ ๐ˆ๐ ๐‚๐Ž๐๐“๐‘๐Ž๐‹. ๐˜๐จ๐ฎ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐’๐ก๐š๐๐จ๐ฐ ๐œ๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐œ๐ข๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ซ๐š๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ง ๐ฅ๐ž๐ญ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐’๐ก๐š๐๐จ๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฎ๐ง๐œ๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐œ๐ข๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฅ๐ฒ! ๐Ÿ˜„

It’s what I mean when I tell people “don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater”. ๐Ÿ‘ถ

Integrating our Shadow can be VERY useful. But we always need to make sure we’re in control and using it for a healthy means. ๐Ÿ˜Š

๐–๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐’๐ก๐š๐๐จ๐ฐ, ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฐ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ? ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

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LET ME KNOW IF YOU FOUND THIS USEFUL! โฌ‡๏ธ

Why Hurt People HURT People!

๐Ÿ™Œ HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE! ๐Ÿ™Œ

In times of stress, our thinking NARROWS.

We forget the ideals we set for ourselves. ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

We forget the goals we were aiming to reach. ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

We instead fall into thinking patterns limited to our self-preservation. ๐Ÿ˜จ

But youโ€™re NO LESS of a person for falling back into old thinking patterns. It happens to us all. โค๏ธ

What matters is not that we became lost in thought (for the thousandth time), but that we continue to acknowledge the moments when we do, to accept the moment as it is, and continue redirecting our focus towards what truly matters to us. โคด๏ธ

If youโ€™re a meditater, you know how RANDOM your thoughts can be! ๐Ÿง˜โ€โ™‚๏ธ

Thoughts you have absolutely no control over will appear in your conscious mind, like a fish in a pond which pops its head at the surface of the water. ๐ŸŸ

With a practice like meditation, you realize you donโ€™t have to engage with this fish. You realize itโ€™s just one of many fish that will appear ALL THE TIME, and you have the choice to allow this fish to just go on its way. ๐Ÿ™Œ

But without us developing these skills of self-awareness and self-control, we will ALWAYS be at the whim of us grabbing the next fish. ๐Ÿคฏ

We will continue grabbing every fish that appears and assume every fish carries equal value.

But the problem is some fish are unhealthy, harmful, and even dangerous. ๐Ÿฆˆ

For example, itโ€™s SO EASY these days for the Fish of Outrage to appear more and more in the mind. ๐Ÿ˜…

But the more often you grab the Fish of Outrage, the more often the fish comes back.

Because whatever you keep focusing on in the mind grows. ๐Ÿ‘€

Itโ€™s why Nietszche famously said: โ€œ๐‡๐ž ๐ฐ๐ก๐จ ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฆ๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐จ๐ค ๐ญ๐จ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ก๐ž ๐ก๐ข๐ฆ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฅ๐Ÿ ๐๐จ๐ž๐ฌ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐›๐ž๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž ๐š ๐ฆ๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ. ๐€๐ง๐ ๐ข๐Ÿ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ ๐š๐ณ๐ž ๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐  ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐จ ๐š๐ง ๐š๐›๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ฌ, ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐š๐›๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐š๐ฅ๐ฌ๐จ ๐ ๐š๐ณ๐ž๐ฌ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐จ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ.โ€

In other words, some of the most dangerous people are the ones who can only see wrongdoing in everyone else but themselves. They see themselves through a divine lens while simultaneously projecting the Fish they reject in their own minds onto other people. ๐Ÿ‘‰

Thatโ€™s why thereโ€™s the saying: โ€œ๐—ช๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜ ๐Ÿญ ๐—ณ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—ฟ, ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐Ÿฏ ๐—ณ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€ ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฏ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ธ ๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚.โ€

๐ŸŒŸ If you are suffering, you are lost in thought. ๐ŸŒŸ

Suffering begets suffering.

Thatโ€™s why itโ€™s important we remember:

๐Ÿ™Œ HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE! ๐Ÿ™Œ

That person you see screaming in the face of another person? ๐Ÿคฌ

That person expressing irrational and out-of-control behavior? ๐Ÿคฌ

That person who is vowing to get revenge? ๐Ÿคฌ

They are ALL suffering. ๐Ÿ˜”

For my social media friends thirsty for condemnation and revenge, I know this may be a difficult concept to understand. ๐Ÿค”

It may be even more difficult because this post is holding a MIRROR up to yourself. โค๏ธ

A person who feels the need to hurt other people, to crave revenge, to watch the whole world burn, is NEVER a happy person. ๐Ÿ‘

In fact, the ones who hurt the most are often the ones who need love the most. โค๏ธ

Because:

๐Ÿ™Œ HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE! ๐Ÿ™Œ

Consider the words of Sam Harris:

โ€œ๐„๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฒ ๐ฉ๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ๐จ๐ง ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ก๐š๐ฏ๐ž ๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ ๐ฆ๐ž๐ญ, ๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฒ ๐ฉ๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ๐จ๐ง ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐š๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐ž๐ž๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ๐๐š๐ฒ, ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ ๐จ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ข๐ž. โšฐ๏ธย .

๐‹๐ข๐ฏ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐  ๐ž๐ง๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก, ๐ž๐š๐œ๐ก ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ๐ž๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐Ÿ๐ซ๐ข๐ž๐ง๐๐ฌ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐Ÿ๐š๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฒ. ๐€๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ ๐จ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฌ๐ž ๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฒ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐ž ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ฅ๐. ๐Ÿ˜ข

๐–๐ก๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐จ๐ง๐ž ๐ฐ๐š๐ง๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐›๐ž ๐š๐ง๐ฒ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐  ๐›๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ค๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฆ ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฆ๐ž๐š๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ฆ๐ž?โ€ โค๏ธ

During times of stress, these ideas Iโ€™m sharing may likely WONโ€™T be at the forefront of our minds. ๐Ÿ‘

Thatโ€™s why itโ€™s our job to work on ourselves, to develop ourselves, and to increase our self-awareness. ๐Ÿ‘€

Because the work we do on ourselves now is NOT just about us. Itโ€™s about everyone around us whoโ€™s also going to benefit from it. ๐ŸŒŽ

When you take care of yourself, you can better take care of others. โค๏ธ

When youโ€™re loving to yourself, youโ€™re more loving to others. โค๏ธ

When youโ€™re forgiving to yourself, youโ€™re more forgiving to others. โค๏ธ

It works both ways. โ†”๏ธ

So, the next time you THINK about grabbing that Fish of Outrage in the mind, remember:

๐Ÿ™Œ HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE! ๐Ÿ™Œ

Will you be a part of breaking the cycle of suffering? ๐Ÿ™Œ

As Martin Luther King Jr. beautifully said: โ€œ๐ƒ๐š๐ซ๐ค๐ง๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐œ๐š๐ง๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐๐ซ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž ๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐๐š๐ซ๐ค๐ง๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ; ๐จ๐ง๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐œ๐š๐ง ๐๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ. ๐‡๐š๐ญ๐ž ๐œ๐š๐ง๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐๐ซ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž ๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ก๐š๐ญ๐ž; ๐จ๐ง๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐ž ๐œ๐š๐ง ๐๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ.โ€ โค๏ธ