Tag: self-improvement

Why Your Mind is a GARDEN!

~ Donald "Nugget" Arteaga ~ Leave a comment

Have you ever found yourself focusing on a situation that was NOT making you happy? 🤔

One negative thought after another, you started to feel more and more crappy. 😡

But you didn’t think of changing the thoughts in your mind. 😲

There’s a reason Jim Rohn said: “Every day, stand guard at the door of your mind.” 💬

Your mind is like a garden. Whatever seeds you plant they will expand in your daily thoughts. 🎍

What seeds are you planting regularly? Seeds of Problems? Seeds of Solutions? Seeds of Gratitude? Seeds of Anger? 🌱

The problem is when we think we aren’t in control of our minds. We are, just not in the way we might think. 😲

What’s out of our control is the thoughts that cross our minds. No doubt. But what’s in our control is our choice to attach and respond to these thoughts. You start to realize this when you do practices like meditation. You are more in control that you think. 🧘‍♂️

🌟 Control your mind or your mind controls you. 🌟

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How to STOP Beating Yourself Up!

~ Donald "Nugget" Arteaga ~ Leave a comment

🛑 STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP! 🛑

There’s a voice inside of you that no matter how hard you work, no matter how hard you try, it’s ready to tell you what’s missing from your life. 🗣️

There’s a voice inside you that no matter how much you believe you’re doing well, it comes knocking at your mental home to challenge you, to instill some form of doubt:

“Are you SURE you’re doing enough?” 💭

“Do you REALLY believe everything you say you are is true?” 💭

“Do you TRULY deserve what you have been given?” 💭

I’ve felt this in me before, multiple times in fact! You are not alone! 👥

There’s the psychological term “imposter syndrome”. It’s the tendency for us believe our achievements pale in comparison to what we feel we’ve actually done.

To put it another way, we don’t feel the status, success, or fame we’ve received in our lives is equal to our own feelings of self-worth. In our minds it doesn’t feel “deserved”. And we have this irrational fear we’re ultimately going to be exposed for the “fraud” the voice inside us says we are. ☝️

Would it surprise you to hear even the most famous individuals have experienced these feelings before? Individuals like Tina Fey, Maya Angelou, Tom Hanks, Anthony Hopkins, and even Meryl Streep have openly expressed feelings like this. 😱

You wouldn’t expect to hear that coming from a celebrity, right? Despite all their wealth, awards, and recognition they’ve received, there’s a voice inside them too that doubts whether they deserve what they’ve been given. 👍

This feeling is universal. You are not alone! 👥

What’s easy to forget in certain moments of our lives is all the achievements and impact we’ve made on the world. When this little voice starts to appear in your head, it’s a sign it’s time for an expansion in perspective. 🤯

I’m not saying we’re all going to be celebrities or are following the same path as these individuals. What I’m saying is these feelings of self-doubt are all too common, these feelings of inadequacy and not being enough just where we are. But there are solutions. 😁

A character from the film “Before Sunset” may have summed up the human condition quite well: “I feel like I’m designed to be slightly dissatisfied with everything.” Can you relate? 😅

This past 2 years has truly been a journey: ups, downs, lefts, rights, zig-zags, and any way the Wonkavator is going. Even now, being almost 2 years since I made big changes in my life, I still have heard this voice come up from time to time. It creeps up when you least expect it, too. As I write this, I can already hear the echoes of this voice in my head. 🗣️

But I have a solution for this voice as well as the ones in your own head. 💡

📍 Disconnect yourself from these voices. These voices are not You or Me. These are voices rooted in Fear: voices from toxic people in your past, voices from destructive opinions said about you, voices which are no longer serving you today or tomorrow. It’s time to let them go.

📍 Unconditionally accept yourself wherever you are right now. The past, literally, no longer exists! It’s only being carried in your head now. The problem is we often carry the negative parts of our past into our future. So let’s instead take what’s most useful from our pasts into the future.

📍 Reflect on all your achievements, all the moments in your life you can be grateful for. These voices of self-doubt are temporary, especially when you reflect on all the achievements and long-term impact you’ve made on the world. Remind yourself that everything you’ve done in your life has had an effect. It’s the same reason why an act of kindness can have a ripple effect.

📍 Remember WHY you’re doing what you’re doing. You are where you are today for a reason. Something might have pulled you here, something might have pushed you here, but either way you’re here for one reason or another. And when you have strong enough emotional reasons in your mind to be where you are today, your self-doubts will easily start to disintegrate. If you can’t think of strong reasons, create some new ones!

Writing this post was in its very own way cathartic for myself. As much as there have been times I’ve heard this voice of self-doubt, I remember all the amazing things I’ve done in my past that have shaped me into the person penning this very post. 🙌

This is a moment in time I won’t ever get back. None of us will, not even you reading this very post. What we do with this time is what matters. ☺️

Don’t beat yourself up. It’s not worth it to your future self. You’re not alone; I’ve felt it before too. But the key is reminding ourselves that these voices of doubt are not here to stay; they are coming to pass. 😊

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Why You’re NOT Alone! (PERSONAL)

~ Donald "Nugget" Arteaga ~ Leave a comment

🎒 I KNEW IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL!!! 🎒

It was elementary school. I was a quiet, soft-spoken child. I talked with my classmates like any other kid. I played at recess with friends like any other kid. I did get a bit more in trouble than any other kid though, I’ll definitely admit that! 😂

But for the most part, I could’ve been seen as any other “normal” kid. 👦

And yet, I was different. I knew as early as 1st grade something was different about me. Of course, at that age I didn’t have the understanding I do today about what these differences could’ve meant. 🤔

In 1st grade there was another boy in my grade. I had never met him; he had a different teacher. I never talked to him; he had his own friends. But something in me, something I couldn’t understand, kept deciding to take second glances at him whenever I saw him. And it eventually went from second glances to many glances. 👀

Again, I didn’t know or understand why. The only explanation I could come up with in my mind was: “I just like how he looks.” 🤷‍♂️

I liked looking at this boy’s face. It really confused me! Remember I was just a little boy; I had no conception of what sexual attraction was at the time. I had heard about having “a crush” on girls, but that was suppose to be with girls, not boys. 👧

So as much as I questioned why I liked looking at this boy, it only kept coming back to the same simple conclusion: There was no reason. I just did. 👍

Then in 2nd grade there came another boy, but this time he was in a higher grade. The same types of feelings I had for the boy in my grade happened again with this boy. 👨 Again, no reason. No logic. But this time, my interest in him took an even bigger chunk of my focus while I was in elementary school. 🏫

I still have many memories of it all. But there is one other memory from elementary school I won’t ever forget. 😱

It was the moment I finally asked myself:

“Could you see yourself kissing a girl?”

I visualized it and I said: “Yeah.” 👍

But then I asked: “Could you see yourself kissing this boy?”

I visualized it and my response: “…I could, yeah.” 👍

But I also wanted to say no…👎

There is a part of me that is concerned sharing this with you all. By far this is the most vulnerable entry I’ve ever written about my personal life. I’ve NEVER written any of this down until now, let alone to a wide social media audience. It’s a part of me I’ve kept out of the limelight, purposefully not being a part of my online “brand”. 👤

A part of me has been scared of judgment. A part of me is also very comfortable with who I am at this point in my life that it doesn’t feel the need to share it. And there’s also part of me that is still scared of being typecast into a label of sexuality for what is only a mere fragment of my identity. 😨

But this post has been waiting to be shared for a long time. It’s been waiting to be shared for someone who needs to hear my story. 📖

Sometimes I forget this part of me which I’m now very comfortable with is not the same thing for others. While I’m now far more accepting with who I am, many others out there are still struggling with their own self-acceptance like I did. I was in the same boat for a very long time. 🚣

So in honor of Pride Month, that is why I write this post. Because this post is not written for me…✍️

📃 It is written for the individuals who hide a part of who they are to be socially accepted.

📃 It is written for the individuals living in fear of rejection if people knew this part of themselves.

📃 It is written for the individuals shaming themselves because they’re in toxic environments which also shame them: “It is wrong!” “Immoral!” “An abomination!”

📃 Just as important, this post is written for the skeptical who are willing to seek to understand through the eyes of a gay male himself.

Yes, I identify as a gay male. 👍 And I share this post for all of these people above. Because it’s so easy these days for a person to condemn someone they’ve never met, to label an entire group of individuals as simply “this” or “that”, to demonize from behind the safety of one’s computer screen. 💻

It’s always been easier to generalize than it is to understand each individual’s uniqueness. 😔

But understanding builds bridges. 🌉

Understanding sparks connections. ❤️ Understanding encourages bigger perspectives. 🌌

So amongst the Voices of Generalization I add my voice this Pride Month for continued understanding. 🏳️‍🌈

It took me until I was in my 20s to finally become more accepting of my sexuality. And some of you might be thinking:

🗣️ “You probably didn’t have a supportive environment.” 🗣️

But as a matter of fact, I was raised and surrounded in a very supportive environment. There were even points I “came out”, but often only going so far as to claim I was bisexual. It was never to a point I was fully comfortable saying it. It was also because I had never in my life been sexually attracted to a woman. 💃

In other words, everyone else around me would’ve been okay if I just “came out of the closet”. 🚪 The problem is I personally wasn’t okay with it. 👎

Me! I wasn’t accepting of myself! And me accepting myself had nothing to do with my external environment; it had everything to do with the internal environment I carried inside me. 😨

I hid my sexuality in shame because I was insecure admitting it. A part of me just didn’t want it to be true. 😖 A part of me believed if I could simply be attracted to women like most men that life would be better for me. There were days I wished I could wake up and be attracted to women just so I could blend in a little bit more into the crowd. 👥

Why? Because I didn’t want to be negatively judged by the wrong person. I didn’t want to be potentially bullied for my sexuality. I didn’t want my male friends to start assuming I was only friends with them just so I could sleep with them. 😓

Who, if anyone, would “choose” to have a sexuality which leaves them open to so much potential ridicule, criticism, and rejection? 😞

🗣️ “How do you know you’re gay?” 🗣️

I would ask a similar question back: “How do you know you’re straight?” 🤔

Because you’ve never been sexually attracted to someone of the same sex? It’s the same with me, only I’ve never been sexually attracted to the opposite sex. 👍

Again, I wanted to be. I can definitely a woman as “beautiful” and “gorgeous”. But you could’ve shown me as many Playboy magazines as you would’ve liked…nothing would happen to my physical body, trust me! 😂

So, I’ve known for a long time. And while I’ve been on a journey of personal growth the past few years my sexuality has really taken a backseat as I developed more parts of my identity. I’ve rarely participated in the LGBT community for a very long time. 👤

Before, my sexuality used to be a HUGE part of my identity. Now it’s but a tiny fragment and focus in my life. 🔹

Before, I use to seek out a significant other because I believed being in a relationship would validate me and give me happiness. But now I realize my happiness starts and ends with me and having a significant other is about sharing my cup with another, not getting mine filled up. ☕

So I share this with all of you now not for me, but for those who need to hear this. 🌎

For those who are still struggling:

❤️ There is nothing “wrong” with you.

❤️ Your worth is not dependent on other people’s approval of you.

❤️ Your worth is more than someone else’s opinion of you.

What matters is knowing who you are and living with that authenticity. What matters is the approval you give to yourself to be who you are. What matters is the opinions you say towards yourself.

Because once you build that self-love and self-acceptance within yourself:

💪 There’s less of a desire to try and make others accept you. You simply live your life with the people who matter most to you.

💪 There’s less of a desire to seek validation from others about who you are. Because you will have already created that validation inside you.

💪 If a person discriminates you, there’s less of a desire to fight back but instead understand them and be a part of the change you wish to see in the world.

💪 You’ll no longer feel like a victim of circumstance but instead a creator of your circumstances.

Shine bright my Pride family, and I’ll be right beside you. 🏳️‍🌈 Please SHARE with post with anyone who needs to be reading this! ❤️

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How to KEEP Your Inner Power!

~ Donald "Nugget" Arteaga ~ Leave a comment

✊ DON’T LET YOUR INNER POWER GO OUT!!! ✊

A few days ago I had a VERY interesting morning! 😅

I woke up like any regular weekday. I took my regular vitamins. 💊 I drank my regular smoothie. I did my regular meditation. 🧘‍♀️ I did my regular stretching. And then I got to work! 👊

Sounds good, right? Pretty much it was a regular start to the day. 👍

45 minutes have passed on the computer and I’m “in the zone”: I’m writing emails. I’m clickity clicking my mouse. I’m tapping my keyword with my ultra-fast 2 fingers (that’s how I type, no shame). I’m in the flow, and I’m getting work done! 😎

So I’m in the middle of typing my next email to a client…and up pops a notification on my screen that I’ve lost my internet connection! My face scrunches with pure confusion. 😖 I look to the Internet router behind my computer; it’s off! I look to the power strip under my desk; it’s off! I head downstairs to the kitchen to check the microwave clock; I’m sure you can guess what I saw…!

😱 THE POWER WAS OUT!!! 😱

It is days like these which snap you out of your comfort zone. It’s days like these where Unexpected arrives at your emotional home ready to stir the pot and cause some trouble. 🏠 Unexpected is never invited, but he arrives whenever these kinds of situations happen! 😈

And it is also days like these which remind you how much our modern society relies on electricity to get work done. 💡 There’s a thought in my mind that starts to wonder about how our society would function without it. 🤔

But as many thoughts like these start popping into my head, I call the electric company to report the outage. Their automated response tells it’s affected over 200 homes in the area and the estimated time of restoration is around 2 hours. ⏲️

😱 2 HOURS!!! 😱

“What am I going to do now?!” 😨

“How am I going to get a hold of my boss?!” 😨

“What if they think I’m lying?!” 😨

“How am I going to get my work done?!” 😨

“Why did this have to happen on a weekday?!” 😨

“How is the power out on a sunny, 70 degree day?!” 😨

There were the new thoughts crossing through my mind now! 🤯

So what was the first thing I did after I got off the phone? 🤔

A. I dwelled and complained about my situation.

B. I continuously wondered how soon the power would be back on.

C. I created a list in my head of every possible scenario why the power went out.

D. I constantly thought about all the work I wasn’t going to get done with the power off.

E. All of the above.

Perhaps it’s because I’ve welcomed Unexpected into my emotional home many times before, today was thankfully a day none of these options were a choice in my mind. The key word here: I WELCOMED Unexpected into my emotional home! 🙌

✊ DON’T LET YOUR INNER POWER GO OUT!!! ✊

I’ve learned over time to welcome Unexpected with open arms every time he arrives. I’ve accepted Unexpected is going to come whether I want him to or not. 👍 I now have made it a point to remind myself that the more I try to resist Unexpected’s presence, it hurts no one but myself. 😖

So what was the ACTUAL first thing I did after I got off the phone? 🤔

I got back on my phone, started blasting some music, and like a child leaping into a puddle I leapt onto my rebounder and jumped like there was no tomorrow. The Grumpy Adult quickly turned into a Playful Child! 😄

It’s important we remember there are things within our control and things that are out of our control ↔️:

📌 it is NOT in my control when life doesn’t go exactly the way I want it to. But it is in my control to make the best of whatever circumstances I’m given.

📌 It is NOT in my control when someone treats me unfairly. But it is in my control to give love even when it is not given.

📌 It is NOT in my control that Unexpected arrives at my emotional home whenever he wants to. But it is in my control in how I handle Unexpected’s arrival.

📌 It is NOT in my control when the power goes out. But it is in my control how I respond to the situation.

It’s important we remind ourselves to distinguish the 2 to save ourselves from needless suffering. Because with a clear head, we all can better focus on solutions. 😁

✊ DON’T LET YOUR INNER POWER GO OUT!!! ✊

I decided in that moment Unexpected wasn’t going to screw with my emotional home. He wasn’t going to take over my home; instead he was going to join us along for the party on the rebounder! 🎊

🌟 With a cluttered mind, I was worried about how I was going to get a hold of my boss. Now with a clear head, I quickly remembered I had phone internet data to easily send her an email.

🌟 With a cluttered mind, I was wondering how the power could’ve possibly gone out. Now with a clear head, I easily dismissed the thought because it wasn’t going to change the power from coming back on.

🌟 With a cluttered mind, I was dwelling on all the work I had to get done because of the power being out. Now with a clear head, I had accepted the current circumstances and started to brainstorm solution going forward.

On a bright note, the power came back on sooner than I was told! 💯 Less than an hour had passed and it was back up and running! No casualties! No worries! And with all that, I got back onto my computer and back to work. 😎

And to think: if I was in the same place I was a few years ago with my personal growth, I may have still been lingering over that kitchen microwave worrying and hoping for a miracle. 👍

✊ DON’T LET YOUR INNER POWER GO OUT!!! ✊

Comment how you keep your inner power! ✊

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