Why You Should “Keep SMILING”!

Don’t have a reason to smile? When we feel like crap, we don’t need a reason either! 😉
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Ever heard the phrase: “Fake it until you make it”? There’s a lot of truth to that! 👍
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When I was in elementary school, I was a kid with a vivid imagination. The playground at recess was a world of my creation! 🤸
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It was during the times I spent alone that this phrase came into play. I would imagine myself playing different movie characters, different scenarios, and different outcomes. One character in particular I loved playing was the action hero John McClane from the Die Hard movies. 💥
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Yes, I was probably a bit young to have watched those films at the time! 😝
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Nevertheless, I loved playing movie characters like him: he was laid-back, confident, tough, strong, and pushed forward through the worst of situations! 💪
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For the short times I had at recess, I could become a different person, someone you wouldn’t recognize when I went back into the classroom. And I had fun every time I did it! It was mostly all in my head; the playground was merely the props! ❤️
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So, in essence, the phrase “Fake it until you make it” is saying the same thing! I was using this principle on the playground and I didn’t even know I was at the time! 😂
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🌟 Become the character you wish to play in your life. 🌟
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“But that’s being fake, it’s not authentic Donald!” 🗣️
“That wasn’t you on the playground; you were just playing a movie character!” 🗣️
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I don’t see it that way. Think of it this way: the fact I had a desire and pleasure out of playing a person I “wasn’t” in my real life was showing me parts of myself I wasn’t even aware existed! It was uncovering parts of who I was which yearned for the spotlight. 💡
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It’s not to say we don’t have authentic qualities of ourselves. But it’s to challenge our own limiting beliefs about who we believe we are. If I didn’t enjoy playing the characters I acted out, I’d say it wasn’t part of my authentic self. But the fact is I did! 😲
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Perhaps what’s also “authentic” in you is just waiting to be awakened! 🙌
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🌟 Don’t use “being authentic” as an excuse to not discover what else you’re capable of becoming. 🌟
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I promise you may surprise yourself! 😊 #TranscendLabels

 

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Who Your Most IMPORTANT Valentine Is! (PERSONAL)

❤️ Happy Valentine’s Day!!! ❤️

Wishing you all a day filled with love and fulfillment! What does this holiday mean to you?

💓 A time to share love with the people in your life?

💘 A day to spend time with your significant other?

💔 A holiday to remind you of the fact you’re “still single” and really need to be in a relationship?

If your answer is #3, this message is for you. For all my single friends out there, me being a single man myself: I encourage you today not to fret. 😁

What if I told you I’ve never been in a relationship? 😱

“BLASPHEMY!!!” ❌

When I was in high school, I can assure you I definitely searched for one. And not just in school; I was on all the latest dating sites and apps: Plenty of Fish, OkCupid, etc. I had it all covered! 😎

Why did I want a relationship so bad?! I honestly didn’t really know…other than I just simply “wanted” to be in a relationship. 🤷‍♂️

🌟 We’re often taught that if we’re in a relationship, we’ll be happier. That’s not necessarily true. 🌟

It’s understandable why we believe this idea: We tend to see only the positive moments in a couple’s relationship, on display in our social lives for all to see. We typically don’t hear about the negative or challenging moments that happen in relationships, what can go on behind-the-scenes. 👍

So as a naive teenager, why wouldn’t I want to be in a relationship where things seems to be nothing but smooth sailing?! Sounds like fun! 😍

But it was around 2 years ago that I actually made a big change in my perspective regarding relationships. In fact, all those dates sites, I uninstalled and deleted all my accounts off of them! 😲

Why?!

Of all the countless hours I spent on these sites, I had finally become drained of my willingness to keep searching for a significant other. If I could take the ratio of time I spent browsing to the amount of time I actually spent talking with someone, it would be like 500 to 1! 😓

Ultimately, my excessive searching was a timewaster! And the funniest part of it all: I made myself feel worse every time I got off the sites! 😥

⚠️ With this bad habit, I reinforced to myself: “No one wants to talk to me. I feel even lonelier now than I did before!” ⚠️

…And then holidays like Valentine’s Day came around each year. They further reinforced my own self-pity for not being in a relationship. It sucked! 😫

So you may be asking: what was the “final straw” for me? Well I came to greater realizations about why I “wanted” to be in a relationship in the first place:

⚠️ I believed being in a relationship was the answer to make me happier. ⚠️

⚠️ I believed that by being in a relationship, I could seek validation from others. ⚠️

⚠️ I believed that if I was in a relationship, I could hoping someone would fill the void I felt inside me. ⚠️

🚨 My intentions for wanting to be in a relationship was more selfish than selfless. My intention were less about “We” but about “Me”. 🚨

So in sharing my story with you all here, I hope you see that sometimes what we’re looking for is in fact closer to home than we think. 🏠

🌟 Don’t forget to develop a relationship with Yourself. 🌟

So today let’s not fret! We shall remember:

❤️ Relationships are not all sunshine and rainbows. We often don’t see what goes on behind-the-scenes, the commitment that’s required, or the negative moments that happen in one.

❤️ Inner happiness and fulfillment has to come from you first. Fill up your cup so you can easily share the rest with a future lover. If you can’t love yourself first, you can’t expect it to come from others because you’ll be waiting forever…

❤️ Self-love is one of the greatest gifts you can give. The only person you’re with 100% of your life…is Yourself. Be comfortable in your own company.

❤️ Today is an opportunity for you to change your perspective on relationships. They are not a means to an end, and not being in one does not mean you are not loved.

Make today a day for you to give love in whatever way you know best! For me, this is one of them! 😁 #TranscendLabels

SHARE my post with someone who needs to hear this! ❤️

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How to STOP Beating Yourself Up!

🌟 Don’t beat yourself up…

There’s a part of you that no matter how hard you work, it’s ready to tell you what’s missing from your life. There’s a part of you that no matter how much you believe you’re doing well, it comes knocking at your mental home to challenge you:”Are you SURE you’re doing enough?” 💭
“Do you REALLY believe everything you say you are is true?” 💭
“Do you TRULY deserve what you’ve been given?” 💭

I’ve felt this in me before, multiple times in fact…

There’s the psychology term “imposter syndrome”. It’s the tendency to believe our achievements pale in comparison to what we believe we’ve actually done. To put it another way, we don’t feel the status, success, or fame we’ve received is equal to our own feelings of self-worth. In our minds it doesn’t feel like it’s “deserved”. We have this irrational fear we’re ultimately going to be exposed as a “fraud”. 👈

Would it surprise you to hear even the most famous of individuals have experienced these feelings? Individuals like Tina Fey, Maya Angelou, Tom Hanks, Anthony Hopkins, and even Meryl Streep have openly expressed feeling like this. Despite all the wealth, awards, and recognition they’ve received from other people, there’s a part of them that still at times self-doubt what they had accomplished in their lives.

What’s easy to forget on this journey called life is remembering all the achievements we’ve made. Now I’m not saying I’m a celebrity or am following the same path these individuals are. I’m saying these feelings of self-doubt are universal, these feelings of inadequacy and not being enough just where we are. A character from the film “Before Sunset” summed it up pretty well: “I feel like I’m designed to be slightly dissatisfied with everything.” 😝

This past year has truly been a journey: ups, downs, lefts, rights, zig-zags, and any way the Wonkavator is going. Even now, being almost a year since I stepped into this new path for myself, I have felt these emotions come up. It creeps up when you least expect it, too. As I write this, I can already hear the echoes of this voice in my mind.

But I have an answer for this voice as well as your own…

📍 Disconnect yourself from these voices. These voices are not You or Me. These are voices of Fear. These are voices from your Past, voices that are no longer serving you now and in your future.
📍 Unconditionally accept yourself where you are now in the present. The past (literally) no longer exists but in your mind. So why not take what’s most useful from your past into the future?

📍 Reflect on your achievements. These moments of self-doubt are temporary; all the achievements and impact you’ve made on the world and others is forever. Remember that everything you do has an effect, even if you don’t have the chance to see it for yourself.

📍 Remember your WHY. You are where you are today for a reason. Something might have pulled you here, something might have pushed you here, but you’re here for one reason for another. When you have strong enough reasons for why you’re here, your self-doubts will easily start to disintegrate.

Writing this post this evening was in it’s very own way cathartic. As much as there have been times I’ve experienced this self-doubt, I remember all the amazing things I’ve achieved in my life that have shaped me into the person penning this very post. This is a moment in time I won’t ever get exactly the same again. No moment is, and it honestly feels quite surreal thinking about it in that way. ☺️

But I digress. Don’t beat yourself up. It’s not worth your future. I can guarantee you’re not alone, and that everyone else has done it before too. But the key is to remember those moments are not meant to stay; they are meant to pass. Much love. ❤️#TranscendLabels

Remember Your Worth

(PUBLISHED SEPTEMBER 22nd on FACEBOOK)
I look for my social media page to be a very positive and inspiring place to visit. The posts I make are always with intention; there’s so much negativity, gossip, and unnecessary drama online so I do the opposite. Like how Mr. Rogers looked to change what television offered I look to do with social media. That may sound like a bold statement, but I’m still doing it my own way. 🙌

But there is something I haven’t mentioned. And I’m ready to share it now…

Right after I graduated college 2 years ago I got a job in the corporate world. I was excited for a new step in my future career. Whatever that future career was I wasn’t really sure, but for the time being I had plenty of security: good pay, benefits, a great manager, and a very supportive environment. Some may say: “What more could you ask for?”…💬

Well I actually parted ways with the company a few months ago. I “took the leap” without a safety net. In my idealism I was going to pursue: entrepreneurship! There’s the quote: “Say ‘yes’ and figure it out later”, and I said I was never going back to my corporate job, not out of spite but holding myself accountable to my word. 👍

In doing so a lot of realizations have come to me since I left. To say I’ve had A LOT more to learn than what I expected is an understatement. Trust me when I say when you’re in uncharted territory, you’re going to learn more about yourself and what you’ll need to do to survive. Because you’re living on the edge, your mind is in resourceful mode. It doesn’t have much of a choice if you want to survive. While this may sound negative, I’m in fact grateful I’m learning it all now so I don’t have to later! 😁

Fear is a great motivator to push you forward, but fear can also overtake you if you let it. It was a few weeks ago I got really anxious with how my bank accounts were looking, and I let fear control my thinking to settle for a nearby job as a Dishwasher. It’s not a passion, it’s not what I’m gifted at doing, and it’s certainly not the best value I can provide to the world, but I said in this case: “Money is what matters”. 🤷‍♂️

For a week or so it felt fine. I learned what needed to be done, and I got it done. But a few days ago I had a moment that is still sticking out in my mind this evening.

I was washing dishes during a very hectic meal time, one dish after another pouring into my area ready to be washed. Wipe Off Dish, Spray, Wash, Dry, Repeat. By the time I had finished all the dishes I looked at the clock. 4 hours. 4 hours I had been washing dishes, and I didn’t understand how… 😐

The obvious answer would be “I was keeping busy”, but I mean it in a different way. Where had my mind been the past 4 hours?! I was on autopilot, and I wasn’t conscious of it being so until afterwards. Can you relate to that feeling?!

Throughout the rest of my shift my thoughts reflected on what the philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre referred to as “bad faith”: this awareness I had taken on the role of a Dishwasher. There was no identity of Donald washing dishes for 4 hours; for 4 hours I was the identity of a Dishwasher. I didn’t know where the time went by…and I didn’t know where “I” went by either! 🤔

I had experienced these existential feelings before. And it was because I had experienced them before that another realization hit me too: it’s no wonder why so many people don’t have a sense of purpose and meaning in their life. So many people are not given the time to explore or develop them. So we are instead settling for what everyone else tells us is the case: “This is what you’re suppose to do”, “You have to make money somehow”, “That’s just how the world works”. Where’s the personal empowerment in these beliefs? Are you your own identity, or are you a job description? 😟

It’s honestly pained me before when I’ve asked people what their passions are and their answer is they really don’t know or if they do know they don’t believe it’s something they can do more often. It probably pains me too because it reminds me of myself a few years ago. As I said earlier I had NO IDEA what I wanted to do with my life a few years ago too. But if we really only have one life to live on this earth, I don’t believe we “have to” spend it lifelessly. It’s what my mission is all about! 👊

This evening I put in my two weeks notice as a Dishwasher. I have a renewed sense of purpose, and I have a set plan on where I’m going again. You can call it: “irresponsible”, “reckless”, “dangerous”, I’ve heard them all. It’s not changing my mind on the world I want to positively impact for the long-term. 🌎

I’m going to continue building my business/mission because that’s where my true calling is at: helping people and showing others what they’re capable of achieving. Life Coaching, Wellness, Social Media, and there’s plenty more branches on my tree in the future! “Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”#TranscendLabels ❤️

I really appreciate all your positive feedback! I hope through the time you’ve gotten to know me that I’ve provided lots of insightful and positive content to you! If I have, I really appreciate if you SHARE this post so I can spread my mission of Transcending Labels to others! I want this to go global!