Why YOU Are Suffering!

“What upsets people are not THINGS themselves but their JUDGMENTS about the things.” ~ Epictetus ๐Ÿ’ฌ
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Do you want to feel LESS UPSET? Allow me to assist! โค๏ธ
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We are not upset because an event happens. We are upset because we believe an event “shouldn’t” have happened. ๐Ÿ˜ฃ
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We’re arguing with the “shoulds” in our minds. ๐Ÿคฏ
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We’re arguing with the feelings of anger and frustration we’re experiencing. ๐Ÿคฌ
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We’re arguing with a past which no longer exists. โŒ›
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But here’s the problem: “๐–๐ก๐ž๐ง ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐š๐ซ๐ ๐ฎ๐ž ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ, ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐š๐ฅ๐ฐ๐š๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฌ๐ž.” ๐Ÿ˜“
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So, I want to introduce you to a solution: ACCEPTANCE. โค๏ธ
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๐Ÿ™Œ Accept whatever it is you’re experiencing. ๐Ÿ™Œ
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Accept the events which happened. Accept the emotions you’re feeling. Accept the judgments your mind is making. Accept whatever is.
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Accept. And you’ll be surprised how fast you’ll be able to let these things go. ๐Ÿ™Œ
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Release. ๐Ÿ™Œ
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Surrender. ๐Ÿ™Œ
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Because it’s only when you continue holding onto this baggage will you cause yourself needless suffering. ๐Ÿ˜จ
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๐Ÿคฌ “HOW DARE YOU, DONALD! I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE ANGRY AND FRUSTRATED!” ๐Ÿคฌ
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You do! 100%! You have every reason to feel this way! ๐Ÿ’ฏ
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There’s no doubt there’s a feeling of nobility, this sense of self-righteousness, to hold onto these negative emotions. I totally get it! ๐Ÿ’ฏ
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These intense emotions serve you feelings of power. These intense emotions serve you feelings of control over what at times can feel like a very chaotic world. โœŠ
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As I heard 1 person once describe their feelings of anger: “It’s like jet fuel!” ๐Ÿคฌ
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For me to tell you to accept your emotions, for me to tell you to diffuse the mechanisms which provide your feelings of power and control, is by far the last thing you’d want to hear from me, right?! ๐Ÿ’ฏ
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I understand. โค๏ธ
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But I can assure you: ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฌ๐ž ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐ž๐ง๐ฌ๐ž ๐ž๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ, ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฉ๐ž๐œ๐ข๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐ก๐ž๐ง ๐ฎ๐ง๐ญ๐š๐ฆ๐ž๐, ๐œ๐š๐ง ๐›๐ž๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž ๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฒ ๐๐ž๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐ฎ๐œ๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž ๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฒ ๐Ÿ๐š๐ฌ๐ญ.
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And there are far better, more constructive ways to handling our problems. ๐Ÿ’ฏ
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Let me clarify:
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๐Ÿ“ Acceptance does not mean we become complacent in our life.
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๐Ÿ“ Acceptance does not mean we enable the things and situations which spark our negative emotions.
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๐Ÿ“ Acceptance is simply about freeing ourselves from needless suffering.
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๐Ÿ“ Acceptance is simply about clearing the weeds from our minds.
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๐Ÿ“ Acceptance is simply a tool to help us see things as they are, objectively, without any judgments and attachments.
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And practicing acceptance doesn’t just affect you! ๐Ÿ˜ฒ
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It affects how you will interact with others, how civil you’ll be with others in tense situations. ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ
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It affects what solutions you’re going to come up with to address your problems. ๐Ÿค”
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It affects the long-term impact you’re going to have upon short-term situations. ๐Ÿ—“๏ธ
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“Accept – then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.” ~ Eckhart Tolle ๐Ÿ’ฌ
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How To Embrace What’s In Your Control!

What you focus on expands. ๐Ÿ‘€

What you think about, you become. โค๏ธ

Where has your focus been lately? ๐Ÿค”

On problems? ๐Ÿ˜ฃ

On things outside your control? ๐Ÿ˜ซ

I know these both happened to me the past week. ๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™‚๏ธ

The realization at how much is out of our control can feel disheartening, right? ๐Ÿ’”

Especially when Life didn’t wait to give us this fact one bit at a time. ๐Ÿ‘ฃ

Instead it’s providing it via hailstorm lately. ๐ŸŒฉ๏ธ

So what do you do now? ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ

๐Ÿ™Œ Allow yourself to process this fact. ๐Ÿ™Œ

It’s a tough truth to think about. It was tough for me to sit with too. You’re not alone. โค๏ธ

There is A LOT which is outside of our control. ๐Ÿ˜“

But I do have some good news…๐Ÿ‘‚

There ARE things which are in your control! ๐Ÿ˜Š

We cannot control the circumstances where we are born. ๐Ÿ‘Ž

But we can control what how we use our circumstances. โค๏ธ

We cannot control the actions of others. ๐Ÿ‘Ž

But we can control our reaction to their actions. โค๏ธ

We cannot control what Fate ultimately brings us. ๐Ÿ‘Ž

But we can control how we decide to face our Fate. โค๏ธ

As you go through your day, ask yourself:

– Right now, what is within my control? ๐Ÿค”

– Right now, what is outside my control? ๐Ÿค”

– Right now, what can I do with what’s in my control? ๐Ÿค”

Keep the answers you find in mind for the choices you make today. ๐Ÿ™Œ

If you’re theistically inclined, you can also remember the words of the Serenity Prayer ๐Ÿ™:

“God, grant me the serenity to Accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.” ๐Ÿ™Œ

There’s a lot outside our control. ๐Ÿ’ฏ

But where hope is found is through this self-awareness: ๐Ÿ™Œ

๐Ÿ“Œ With the decisions we make in the present moment.

๐Ÿ“Œ With how we choose to treat each other.

๐Ÿ“Œ With how we embrace being the change we wish to see.

Let us not forget: you cannot have light without darkness, just as you cannot have darkness without light. โ˜ฏ๏ธ

One cannot exist without the other. โ†”๏ธ

Consider this post a part of the light that’s coming your way. โ˜€๏ธ

How to KEEP Your Inner Power!

โœŠย DONโ€™T LET YOUR INNER POWER GO OUT!!!ย โœŠ

A few days ago I had a VERY interesting morning!ย ๐Ÿ˜…

I woke up like any regular weekday. I took my regular vitamins.ย ๐Ÿ’Šย I drank my regular smoothie. I did my regular meditation.ย ๐Ÿง˜โ€โ™€๏ธย I did my regular stretching. And then I got to work!ย ๐Ÿ‘Š

Sounds good, right? Pretty much it was a regular start to the day.ย ๐Ÿ‘

45 minutes have passed on the computer and Iโ€™m โ€œin the zoneโ€: Iโ€™m writing emails. Iโ€™m clickity clicking my mouse. Iโ€™m tapping my keyword with my ultra-fast 2 fingers (thatโ€™s how I type, no shame). Iโ€™m in the flow, and Iโ€™m getting work done!ย ๐Ÿ˜Ž

So Iโ€™m in the middle of typing my next email to a clientโ€ฆand up pops a notification on my screen that Iโ€™ve lost my internet connection! My face scrunches with pure confusion.ย ๐Ÿ˜–ย I look to the Internet router behind my computer; itโ€™s off! I look to the power strip under my desk; itโ€™s off! I head downstairs to the kitchen to check the microwave clock; Iโ€™m sure you can guess what I saw…!

๐Ÿ˜ฑย THE POWER WAS OUT!!!ย ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

It is days like these which snap you out of your comfort zone. Itโ€™s days like these where Unexpected arrives at your emotional home ready to stir the pot and cause some trouble.ย ๐Ÿ ย Unexpected is never invited, but he arrives whenever these kinds of situations happen!ย ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

And it is also days like these which remind you how much our modern society relies on electricity to get work done.ย ๐Ÿ’กย Thereโ€™s a thought in my mind that starts to wonder about how our society would function without it.ย ๐Ÿค”

But as many thoughts like these start popping into my head, I call the electric company to report the outage. Their automated response tells itโ€™s affected over 200 homes in the area and the estimated time of restoration is around 2 hours.ย โฒ๏ธ

๐Ÿ˜ฑย 2 HOURS!!!ย ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

โ€œWhat am I going to do now?!โ€ย ๐Ÿ˜จ

โ€œHow am I going to get a hold of my boss?!โ€ย ๐Ÿ˜จ

โ€œWhat if they think Iโ€™m lying?!โ€ย ๐Ÿ˜จ

โ€œHow am I going to get my work done?!โ€ย ๐Ÿ˜จ

โ€œWhy did this have to happen on a weekday?!โ€ย ๐Ÿ˜จ

โ€œHow is the power out on a sunny, 70 degree day?!โ€ย ๐Ÿ˜จ

There were the new thoughts crossing through my mind now!ย ๐Ÿคฏ

So what was the first thing I did after I got off the phone?ย ๐Ÿค”

A. I dwelled and complained about my situation.

B. I continuously wondered how soon the power would be back on.

C. I created a list in my head of every possible scenario why the power went out.

D. I constantly thought about all the work I wasnโ€™t going to get done with the power off.

E. All of the above.

Perhaps itโ€™s because Iโ€™ve welcomed Unexpected into my emotional home many times before, today was thankfully a day none of these options were a choice in my mind. The key word here: I WELCOMED Unexpected into my emotional home!ย ๐Ÿ™Œ

โœŠย DONโ€™T LET YOUR INNER POWER GO OUT!!!ย โœŠ

Iโ€™ve learned over time to welcome Unexpected with open arms every time he arrives. Iโ€™ve accepted Unexpected is going to come whether I want him to or not.ย ๐Ÿ‘ย I now have made it a point to remind myself that the more I try to resist Unexpectedโ€™s presence, it hurts no one but myself.ย ๐Ÿ˜–

So what was the ACTUAL first thing I did after I got off the phone?ย ๐Ÿค”

I got back on my phone, started blasting some music, and like a child leaping into a puddle I leapt onto my rebounder and jumped like there was no tomorrow. The Grumpy Adult quickly turned into a Playful Child!ย ๐Ÿ˜„

Itโ€™s important we remember there are things within our control and things that are out of our controlย โ†”๏ธ:

๐Ÿ“Œย it is NOT in my control when life doesnโ€™t go exactly the way I want it to. But it is in my control to make the best of whatever circumstances Iโ€™m given.

๐Ÿ“Œย It is NOT in my control when someone treats me unfairly. But it is in my control to give love even when it is not given.

๐Ÿ“Œย It is NOT in my control that Unexpected arrives at my emotional home whenever he wants to. But it is in my control in how I handle Unexpectedโ€™s arrival.

๐Ÿ“Œย It is NOT in my control when the power goes out. But it is in my control how I respond to the situation.

Itโ€™s important we remind ourselves to distinguish the 2 to save ourselves from needless suffering. Because with a clear head, we all can better focus on solutions.ย ๐Ÿ˜

โœŠย DONโ€™T LET YOUR INNER POWER GO OUT!!!ย โœŠ

I decided in that moment Unexpected wasnโ€™t going to screw with my emotional home. He wasnโ€™t going to take over my home; instead he was going to join us along for the party on the rebounder!ย ๐ŸŽŠ

๐ŸŒŸย With a cluttered mind, I was worried about how I was going to get a hold of my boss. Now with a clear head, I quickly remembered I had phone internet data to easily send her an email.

๐ŸŒŸย With a cluttered mind, I was wondering how the power couldโ€™ve possibly gone out. Now with a clear head, I easily dismissed the thought because it wasnโ€™t going to change the power from coming back on.

๐ŸŒŸย With a cluttered mind, I was dwelling on all the work I had to get done because of the power being out. Now with a clear head, I had accepted the current circumstances and started to brainstorm solution going forward.

On a bright note, the power came back on sooner than I was told!ย ๐Ÿ’ฏย Less than an hour had passed and it was back up and running! No casualties! No worries! And with all that, I got back onto my computer and back to work.ย ๐Ÿ˜Ž

And to think: if I was in the same place I was a few years ago with my personal growth, I may have still been lingering over that kitchen microwave worrying and hoping for a miracle.ย ๐Ÿ‘

โœŠย DONโ€™T LET YOUR INNER POWER GO OUT!!!ย โœŠ

Comment how you keep your inner power!ย โœŠ

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How Acceptance SOLVES Problems!

๐ŸŒŸย Focusing on problems is a habit. And so is focusing on solutions.

The problem is when we don’t see any other option than to complain. It’s hard-wired in our evolution to focus on what’s wrong; it’s our survival brain doing its job to protect us. But there is in fact another option…โ˜๏ธ

Accept reality just as it is.ย ๐Ÿ™Œ

๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธย “That’s ridiculous Donald! There’s so much injustice in the world! How can you ‘accept’ when there’s so much injustice and atrocities?!”ย ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ

Let me clarify: Accepting life as it is does not mean you are ignoring the injustice, corruption, or things that are wrong in the world. Acceptance is so you don’t allow your ego to control your emotions.ย ๐Ÿ—ฏ๏ธ

When you constantly focus on what others “should” or “shouldn’t” be doing, fighting about what “should” or “shouldn’t” be happening in the world, you will also find more of it.

๐ŸŒŸย Whatever you focus on consistently, your mind places a focus to keep finding more of it in your life.ย ๐ŸŒŸ

So if you’re always looking for what’s wrong in your life, your mind, like Google, will be sure to find a huge amount of search results with the keyword: “What’s wrong in my life?”ย ๐Ÿ’ป

But when you accept things as they are, you free yourself from unnecessary suffering. You let go of the emotional baggage which comes from focusing on a problem, so you have a clear head to better focus on solutions.ย ๐Ÿ˜Š

The Stoic philosopher Epictetus said: โ€œWhat upsets people is not things themselves but their judgments about the things.โ€ When you’re judging, you cannot accept.

๐ŸŒŸย When you argue with reality, you always lose.ย ๐ŸŒŸ

If I told you to NOT think about a pink elephant, what are you thinking about right now? And what if I told you to STOP thinking about it, what remains in your mind?ย ๐Ÿ˜

But what if I told you to be absolutely okay that the thought of a pink elephant crossed your mind? Be absolutely okay, accepting of the thought, and then choose to let it go. I’d be curious to know how fast your mind starts to focus on other things.ย ๐Ÿ˜‰

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